This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:37] Laura Camien: Welcome to the Spark File, where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart creative people don't go it alone.

[0:37] Susan Blackwell: I'm Laura Camien.

[0:44] Susan Blackwell: And I'm Susan Blackwell, and we are creativity coaches who help people clarify and accomplish their creative goals.

[0:50] Laura Camien: You ought to know that just by listening to this podcast, you're joining a warm and wonderful clan of creatives.

[0:57] Susan Blackwell: But you may also be asking yourself, what exactly is a spark file?

[1:00] Laura Camien: A spark file is a place where you consistently collect all of your inspirations and fascinations.

[1:07] Susan Blackwell: Every episode, we're gonna reach into our spark files and exchange some sparks.

[1:13] Laura Camien: And from time to time we're gonna talk to some folks who spark us too.

[1:16] Susan Blackwell: And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take some of those sparks of inspiration and make something of your own.

[1:22] Laura Camien: So without further ado, let's open up the Spark file, Laura Camien.

[1:22] Susan Blackwell: Hi.

[1:30] Susan Blackwell: Ho ho ho.

[1:31] Laura Camien: Oh my gosh.

[1:33] Laura Camien: Are you ready for a spark?

[1:35] Susan Blackwell: I so am.

[1:36] Laura Camien: We're in the midst of the holiday season.

[1:39] Susan Blackwell: Jingle jangle jingle.

[1:41] Susan Blackwell: Merry and bright.

[1:42] Laura Camien: Um, Laura, it's it sure is.

[1:45] Laura Camien: It's a holiday time.

[1:46] Laura Camien: That can mean so many things.

[1:48] Susan Blackwell: And one of the things that this time can mean is gifts.

[1:53] Susan Blackwell: Gifts receiving gifts, giving gifts, maybe even creating gifts.

[1:59] Susan Blackwell: So today I want to talk about gifts.

[2:06] Laura Camien: And gifts and creativity, yes.

[2:08] Susan Blackwell: And disclaimer before we begin, gifts have been growing increasingly tricky for me as I age and as my nearest and dearest age, because most of us are fortunate enough to have pretty much everything we need.

[2:24] Laura Camien: What a privilege.

[2:25] Susan Blackwell: Oh, that's a serious thing.

[2:29] Laura Camien: We have what we need.

[2:31] Susan Blackwell: That is correct.

[2:32] Susan Blackwell: And I would like to add to that, just to complicate it, make it harder for you, Suze.

[2:37] Laura Camien: Thankfully, I have what I need, and I'm finding that I need even less.

[2:37] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[2:43] Laura Camien: And you know, as we hopefully get wiser in our age, and we realize like, hey, I don't need all the crap I thought I, you know, desperately needed, and um, there's there's so much more to life.

[2:56] Susan Blackwell: Yes, yes, but it makes gift giving really it makes it more challenging, something really cheesy.

[3:05] Laura Camien: Yes, your spark is a gift.

[3:09] Susan Blackwell: Can you believe I said that?

[3:12] Laura Camien: You mean this spark?

[3:14] Susan Blackwell: This very spark, every spark.

[3:16] Laura Camien: Everybody sign the card.

[3:17] Susan Blackwell: This is Laura's holiday gift for 2024.

[3:21] Laura Camien: You're like, no, but what about the stuff?

[3:24] Susan Blackwell: Where are the candles?

[3:26] Susan Blackwell: Just to finish the thought.

[3:28] Susan Blackwell: I feel like gift giving gets harder.

[3:32] Susan Blackwell: And like I feel like I need to dig deeper.

[3:32] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[3:36] Susan Blackwell: So I prepared this spark because I needed some inspiration to dig deeper.

[3:40] Susan Blackwell: So if you're listening to this, this is the sound of you digging deep.

[3:40] Susan Blackwell: This is the sound of me making and taking my own medicine.

[3:50] Susan Blackwell: When it comes to gift giving.

[3:50] Laura Camien: Okay.

[3:53] Laura Camien: I can't wait.

[3:54] Susan Blackwell: Before we go forward, I just wanted let's go back and learn a bit more about the history of gift giving.

[4:01] Susan Blackwell: According to my friend Google, the tradition of gift giving has been practiced for thousands of years and may have predated the beginning of human civilization.

[4:11] Susan Blackwell: According to the paleoanthropologist Ariane Burke, between 35,000 and 10,000 years ago, our ancestors were exchanging presents like unusually shaped rocks, decorated bone shells, ivory, feathers, animal teeth.

[4:28] Laura Camien: That's what I got you this year.

[4:30] Susan Blackwell: A box.

[4:31] Susan Blackwell: I got you a prescription bottle that's empty of the prescription but filled with animal teeth.

[4:35] Susan Blackwell: And they would exchange these things to strengthen social connection and show their appreciation of others.

[4:42] Laura Camien: That's really sweet.

[4:44] Susan Blackwell: And so that like, yeah, I mean, truly, that it is almost hardwired into our DNA to want to express gratitude.

[4:54] Laura Camien: I love that.

[4:55] Laura Camien: That's beautiful.

[4:56] Susan Blackwell: I love it.

[4:56] Susan Blackwell: And just this week, my sister was visiting and she said, you know what I would love from you?

[5:02] Laura Camien: Then I said yes.

[5:04] Susan Blackwell: A rock.

[5:05] Laura Camien: She was like, I'd love a rock to put in my garden.

[5:08] Susan Blackwell: And I said, Do I have a rock for you?

[5:12] Susan Blackwell: And I actually had sitting right behind the this desk where I'm podcasting, three rocks that I had found that I just loved the shape of them, these sort of smooth river stones that I had then used my cricket to make this very colorful application that says you rock.

[5:12] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[5:37] Laura Camien: So I gave her three rocks.

[5:38] Susan Blackwell: That is so awesome.

[5:39] Susan Blackwell: And now she's gonna be in her garden and she's gonna see them and just smile and think of you.

[5:44] Laura Camien: That is because she knows she rocks, and she knows that we are just like ye oldy pre civilization gift exchangers.

[5:44] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[5:56] Susan Blackwell: But you're getting teeth, Laura.

[5:58] Susan Blackwell: That's what you're getting this year.

[5:59] Laura Camien: I'm already thinking about what to make out of them.

[6:02] Laura Camien: I'm gonna make you a necklace of teeth and then gift it.

[6:02] Susan Blackwell: Girls.

[6:09] Susan Blackwell: So back to back to the history of gift giving.

[6:12] Susan Blackwell: So as social structures developed, the gifts became more elaborate and decorative.

[6:16] Susan Blackwell: In ancient Egypt during their new year, which would have fallen around our calendar of July 19th, they would exchange gifts like vases or vases, if you prefer.

[6:29] Susan Blackwell: Or small flasks filled with holy water from the river Nile, which I thought was very interesting.

[6:35] Susan Blackwell: The Middle Ages brought the birth of romantic gifts.

[6:40] Susan Blackwell: Since prehistoric times, flowers and other plants had been used primarily for medicinal purposes, but in the Middle Ages, flowers became their own love language because as the Roman Catholic Church looked down on any public demonstration of romance, lovers gave each other flowers to express their feelings without being punished for it.

[6:40] Laura Camien: Wait a minute.

[6:40] Laura Camien: Thanks, Catholic Church.

[6:40] Laura Camien: Wait, what?

[7:06] Susan Blackwell: So I miss sorry.

[7:08] Susan Blackwell: So they were punished for giving other kinds of gifts, but not punished for PDA.

[7:14] Laura Camien: Oh, and so they could or a message.

[7:14] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[7:18] Susan Blackwell: I give you this yellow rose to say that we are friends.

[7:21] Susan Blackwell: I give you this prescription bottle filled with animal teeth to say we are lovers.

[7:26] Laura Camien: We are more than friends.

[7:29] Laura Camien: Um crawl inside your mouth.

[7:33] Susan Blackwell: Listen, I want to say that earlier when I said your spark was a gift, um, I was just being cheesy and weird.

[7:40] Susan Blackwell: But the way you are sewing in these historical references.

[7:45] Laura Camien: Come on.

[7:45] Laura Camien: This is you know me.

[7:48] Susan Blackwell: I love that.

[7:49] Susan Blackwell: This is things I never knew.

[7:51] Laura Camien: Well, there you go.

[7:52] Susan Blackwell: There's more.

[7:53] Susan Blackwell: So in the Middle Ages, beyond flowers, singing serenades, reciting poems, sewing locks of hair into clothing.

[8:02] Susan Blackwell: This is something else I'm doing for you this year, Laura.

[8:02] Laura Camien: Oh my God.

[8:05] Susan Blackwell: But surprise, I'm not gonna tell you which of your garments.

[8:10] Susan Blackwell: These were commonly exchanged between romantic partners.

[8:13] Susan Blackwell: And today we still take inspiration from these medieval gifts, whether that's writing a song or a poem for a loved one or making someone a killer mixtape.

[8:24] Laura Camien: This all comes from the Middle Ages.

[8:24] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[8:24] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[8:28] Laura Camien: Remember those sweatshirts I gave you?

[8:31] Susan Blackwell: Have you looked in the seams?

[8:34] Laura Camien: I'm wearing a sweater that you right now, I'm wearing a sweater that I love that you gave me.

[8:39] Susan Blackwell: And I bet if I just like check the seams carefully.

[8:42] Susan Blackwell: A lock of my hair.

[8:45] Laura Camien: In Native American tribes, predominantly a tradition of the Pacific Northwestern tribes, the potlatch was a ceremony where gifts and property were given to confirm or reconfirm the wealth and status of the gift giver.

[8:59] Susan Blackwell: So the more elaborate the presence in the ceremony, the more powerful the gift giver.

[8:59] Laura Camien: Wow.

[9:05] Susan Blackwell: A powerful tribe leader would be expected to shower their tribe according to their rank with elaborate gifts.

[9:05] Laura Camien: Wow.

[9:13] Susan Blackwell: And here's here's the thing I found that I love the most.

[9:17] Susan Blackwell: The Maoris of New Zealand believed that an energy called Hau, H A U, entered into the gift and created a permanent connection between the giver and the receiver.

[9:30] Laura Camien: And this informs my whole spark today.

[9:36] Susan Blackwell: This is so interesting to me.

[9:38] Susan Blackwell: There are lots of reasons to exchange gifts, but gifts that create a connection between the giver and the receiver is just the ultimate, isn't it?

[9:48] Laura Camien: Yes, it's the best.

[9:50] Susan Blackwell: It's the best.

[9:51] Susan Blackwell: So today I want to provide myself and you, Laura, and our listeners some inspiration for gifts with an emphasis on creativity and gifts that create that connection between the giver and the receiver.

[10:03] Laura Camien: Oh, I'm excited.

[10:04] Susan Blackwell: And I want to begin with the mindset around gift giving.

[10:08] Susan Blackwell: I know a few people who have a superpower when it comes to gift giving.

[10:14] Susan Blackwell: They are really gifted when it comes to gifting.

[10:17] Laura Camien: Laura, you actually have this.

[10:21] Susan Blackwell: We have we have an you you are great at this.

[10:24] Susan Blackwell: We have another um client named Elisa Wilson, great at this.

[10:28] Susan Blackwell: And Spark Filer Anne Marie Petersma has this.

[10:31] Laura Camien: So great.

[10:32] Susan Blackwell: Anne Marie has helped me come up with some killer gifts for important people in my life.

[10:36] Susan Blackwell: She helped me come up with the concept for our friend Hunter Bell's 50th birthday gift, where I reached out to many people who love Hunter and gave them the opportunity to send in messages for him, which I printed on individual cardstock, put each in its own envelope, stacked them in a beautiful box, wrapped in it a bow.

[10:58] Susan Blackwell: And in addition to everyone's lovely messages, I was able to collect enough to purchase gift certificates for places that I knew Hunter loved where he could make choices about what he got.

[11:08] Laura Camien: So he got a stitch fix, wardrobe update and uh health classes from Mark Fisher Fitness.

[11:15] Susan Blackwell: He got a gift certificate for Warby Parker for Great New Specs.

[11:19] Susan Blackwell: He got uh a gift certificate for books and bomb socks and a great massage from a great massage therapist.

[11:27] Laura Camien: And on his 50th birthday, Laura, you contributed to that.

[11:30] Laura Camien: I know.

[11:31] Laura Camien: I was happy to.

[11:33] Susan Blackwell: It was so fun.

[11:34] Susan Blackwell: And he and then Hunter on his 50th birthday sat alone on the beach with his toes in the sand and read those messages from people.

[11:42] Laura Camien: And I think he felt really loved.

[11:45] Susan Blackwell: I would say so.

[11:47] Susan Blackwell: I think that's such an incredible gift because of exactly that.

[11:52] Susan Blackwell: Gift certificates are nice, the messages really nice, but the whole thing taken as a collective, the whole thing was about making him feel loved.

[12:06] Laura Camien: That's right.

[12:06] Susan Blackwell: By many people, and you did that.

[12:09] Susan Blackwell: Anne Marie helped me again when my husband turned 50.

[12:14] Susan Blackwell: He felt really ambivalent about celebrating this milestone birthday, which occurred on July 1st.

[12:21] Susan Blackwell: And as I kept having conversations with him well in advance.

[12:25] Susan Blackwell: Do you want to take a trip?

[12:26] Susan Blackwell: Do you want to do this?

[12:26] Susan Blackwell: Do you want to do that?

[12:27] Susan Blackwell: And he was just like not feeling it.

[12:30] Susan Blackwell: So I took a different approach and I said, Let's make a list of everything you love.

[12:36] Susan Blackwell: And we sort of had this ongoing conversation: a list of all these things he loves.

[12:41] Susan Blackwell: Sports cars, record albums, vintage tech, hot sauce, Christmas.

[12:47] Susan Blackwell: And I organized a Christmas in July for him when he was out of town.

[12:51] Susan Blackwell: I put up the Christmas tree.

[12:53] Susan Blackwell: Friends from far and wide sent gifts wrapped in festive paper.

[12:53] Laura Camien: Yes.

[12:59] Susan Blackwell: So there was a little pile of gifts under that tree.

[13:02] Susan Blackwell: The creativity that people expressed was off the charts.

[13:05] Susan Blackwell: Laura, you and Wednesday sent a vintage Santa candle, a toy sports car, and some great classic vinyl.

[13:21] Laura Camien: Oh, I'm so honored.

[13:24] Susan Blackwell: Oh my God, everyone's thoughtfulness and creativity just made the day, which was the source of some melancholy for Nathan.

[13:32] Susan Blackwell: It made the day so much more uplifting.

[13:35] Susan Blackwell: And again, he felt really loved.

[13:44] Laura Camien: Well, it's but this is what when I was talking to Alisa Wilson, another gifted gift giver about this.

[13:50] Laura Camien: She was saying as she ages, she calls them more emotional gifts.

[13:57] Susan Blackwell: She's always on the lookout, and then she's like holds them for the right time.

[14:03] Susan Blackwell: And this is something that was reflected in what Ann-Marie Petersma, another gifted gift giver, shared with me.

[14:10] Susan Blackwell: I went to her in preparation for this spark and I said, How did you get so good at gift giving?

[14:17] Laura Camien: And she shared that her brain can recognize patterns and retain them. And this combined with her love of shopping flows into her love of gift giving. So in essence, whenever someone mentions something about themselves, it goes into a gift spark file in her brain.

[14:34] Susan Blackwell: Oh my God. So this can mean, and this is a great thing to, these are great prompts to be on the lookout for. When someone mentions something forgotten that they've recently remembered, something special to them, something lost, something that reminds them of a time or place or person or experience that they loved.

[14:52] Laura Camien: Anne Marie clocks that. And then she's on the lookout for that thing that speaks to the thing that the person mentioned.

[14:59] Susan Blackwell: Yes. And she said this, and Elisa said this the timing of the gift giving is part of the magic. So just enough time has passed. So the person has forgotten that they've mentioned the thing, and then shabap, you just hit them with that gift.

[15:17] Laura Camien: So that was their formula. Laura, you're great at this too. Any insights that you have about this?

[15:23] Susan Blackwell: Well, this is gonna this is gonna sound selfish, but it's related to Anne Marie's like the love of shopping. I love to find obscure and like anything from history, stories, right?

[15:36] Laura Camien: So like when you mentioned that your home was built out of some beams that were um in the 1960s World Fair, yeah.

[15:47] Susan Blackwell: Right. Yes.

[15:48] Laura Camien: And so I'm a nerd like that, and I'm like, I want to find something related to the World's Fair and specifically the Christian science building, so that Susan and Nathan can have like some context for those big beautiful beams that run through their home.

[16:07] Susan Blackwell: So it's a little bit like nerdiness on my part, but it is that shopping gene too of like, I can find this. I can search for it. Because especially you were mentioning as we get older, I find myself to be so much more excited by and um, I don't know, just completely enamored with things that cannot be found at every store.

[16:33] Laura Camien: So I'm less interested in things that you could just go out and buy and more interested in like I was at an auction. Yes, and this thing, or you know, I was in a vintage shop in in uh Tennessee, and I found this little thing.

[16:51] Susan Blackwell: So I that for me is it's similar because you're listening, but I'm usually listening for those little things that might be like, oh wow, I wonder if they've ever tried to search for that. And if not, I'll do it, I'll do the searching.

[17:05] Laura Camien: You have given me such great gifts. You helped, yes, you helped me pick out additional World's Fair 1964, 65 World's Fair gifts for Nathan.

[17:16] Susan Blackwell: You gave me this sweater that has weirdo stitched into it that I love.

[17:21] Laura Camien: Also, may I say I have the identical one, and so does Anne-Marie Peterswell. We are all three weirdos, yeah.

[17:28] Susan Blackwell: A golden thread runs through it. You gave me a necklace that was your necklace that I admired.

[17:35] Laura Camien: You gifted it to me, and I wore it so much that it became part of the original costume for the character of Susan in Title of Show.

[17:44] Susan Blackwell: And it was so it was fragile, and they had to replace it, kind of recreate it.

[17:49] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[17:50] Susan Blackwell: Because it was but that it was glass. It was vintage. Red glass beads and like layers and layers of them.

[17:59] Laura Camien: I love that.

[18:02] Susan Blackwell: I loved that you still have it.

[18:04] Laura Camien: Oh, oh, I love it. And the note.

[18:07] Susan Blackwell: I have it. I have the box you gave it to me in.

[18:10] Laura Camien: And the note is still in the box. I have it all right in my top drawer.

[18:16] Susan Blackwell: See, again, that's a piece of jewelry that I found at a vintage store that you couldn't find anywhere else.

[18:22] Laura Camien: If I tried right now to be like, I want a necklace just like that. I couldn't find it.

[18:27] Susan Blackwell: It was so beautiful.

[18:29] Laura Camien: It was so beautiful. You know what I love? Those little finger puppets that we got for from you and others on opening night.

[18:38] Susan Blackwell: The little finger puppet of Susan is wearing a little red bead necklace.

[18:43] Laura Camien: That's right. I smile every time I look at it.

[18:45] Susan Blackwell: I gave you for you all for the opening of Title Show.

[18:49] Laura Camien: I forgot about that. I gave you finger puppets made by my amazing friend Craig.

[18:54] Susan Blackwell: And everybody also got this is such a dumb gift because everyone lives in small New York apartments.

[19:01] Laura Camien: A puppet theater.

[19:03] Susan Blackwell: It was a title of show Puppet Theater.

[19:05] Laura Camien: That was the proscenium of the Lyceum Theater.

[19:09] Susan Blackwell: Craziest and a most amazing gift. And thank you, Craig. Your work is beautiful.

[19:14] Laura Camien: Craig's a special, special person.

[19:16] Susan Blackwell: Oh my gosh. So good.

[19:18] Laura Camien: So I went to our I crowdsourced.

[19:22] Susan Blackwell: I love when you crowdsource.

[19:24] Laura Camien: I love it. Crowdsourcing this because people have so many great things that they have shared.

[19:31] Susan Blackwell: So I just want to tell you and you, listener, some other beautiful things that are ideas for those kinds of gifts that just create a connection between the giver and the receiver.

[19:45] Laura Camien: So can't wait. I've talked about this on the podcast before, but our friend Tom Schulteist tells this story about how his mom, Carol, viewed her Aunt Rose as a mother figure.

[19:56] Susan Blackwell: Aunt Rose had made a tooth fairy pillow for Carol's daughter when Carol's daughter was little.

[20:02] Laura Camien: And this tooth fairy pillow had a pocket. And when Carol's daughter would lose a tooth, put the tooth in the pocket, and then the tooth fairy comes in the night, takes the tooth, and leaves a little money in the pocket.

[20:12] Susan Blackwell: Many years later, Aunt Rose passed away, which was a great loss for Carol because Carol viewed Aunt Rose as someone who loved her unconditionally.

[20:21] Laura Camien: Flash forward several years later, Carol's kids were helping her clear stuff out of the house. She was trying not to look at everything because she had would have a hard time letting go of material objects that she had a sentimental attachment to.

[20:35] Susan Blackwell: And her kids ended up throwing away the tooth fairy pillow.

[20:38] Laura Camien: And Carol remembers lifting the lid of the trash can, seeing the pillow, and deciding in the moment she had to let it go.

[20:45] Susan Blackwell: She had too many things in her life, she had to let it go.

[20:47] Laura Camien: So she closed the lid and that was it.

[20:50] Susan Blackwell: Then for the next 13 years, Carol would bring up again and again the pain and regret of letting that pillow go.

[21:00] Laura Camien: That she didn't grab it.

[21:02] Susan Blackwell: So, Tom, our friend Tom heard his mom, Carol, tell this story over and over again for 13 years.

[21:09] Laura Camien: So, one Mother's Day, Tom worked with his mother-in-law, Winnie, to make Carol a new tooth fairy pillow.

[21:16] Susan Blackwell: He found similar fabric, and he worked with Winnie on the design, and he wrote a little poem to put in the little pocket of the tooth fairy pillow.

[21:24] Laura Camien: Tom sent it to his mom Carol with the instructions that she had to be on the phone with him when she opened it.

[21:30] Susan Blackwell: And when she saw it, she couldn't even speak.

[21:34] Laura Camien: Oh.

[21:35] Susan Blackwell: And though it wasn't the original pillow, Carol now had something to replace that painful loss.

[21:42] Laura Camien: And she now has that pillow in one of her display cases, and he's never heard her talk about it again in the same way.

[21:50] Susan Blackwell: You know, a gift like that also is it's it isn't like it this is gonna replace what you had, but it is it says, I see you, and that's right.

[22:02] Laura Camien: I I feel the pain that you have felt, and I understand.

[22:06] Susan Blackwell: I have chills, Laura.

[22:08] Laura Camien: This is the you just this is the summary of my spark.

[22:11] Susan Blackwell: Oh so many of these gifts are I see you, you matter to me, I heard you.

[22:18] Laura Camien: Yes, so many of them.

[22:20] Susan Blackwell: So that's what it's all about.

[22:24] Laura Camien: And here's some more examples to fill up your spirit.

[22:29] Susan Blackwell: I just want to say, Tom, what a beautiful gift.

[22:31] Laura Camien: Tom, what a beautiful done gift, yeah.

[22:34] Susan Blackwell: To heal something, to close a loop. It's so beautiful.

[22:39] Laura Camien: So we have this client I just talked about, gifted gift giver, Alisa Wilson.

[22:46] Susan Blackwell: Who said that a love of giving gifts was instilled in her by her parents.

[22:51] Laura Camien: Alisa loves finding the best gift for someone.

[22:55] Susan Blackwell: For her mother's last birthday. Her mom had mentioned that she felt like she didn't know her children and grandchildren.

[23:02] Laura Camien: So Elisa asked everyone in the family to fill out this great questionnaire, and Elisa made it into a bound book with current information about the family.

[23:12] Susan Blackwell: And now Elisa's mom feels like she has something to talk to them about.

[23:16] Laura Camien: She can engage with them about things that matter to them.

[23:20] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[23:21] Laura Camien: Elisa said everyone in the family showed up and responded.

[23:24] Susan Blackwell: Some wrote novels, some wrote less, but featured more photos.

[23:28] Laura Camien: And Elisa made that whole book uh with an online service called Mix Book.

[23:34] Susan Blackwell: And I'm sure there's several online services that do that.

[23:38] Laura Camien: Um, but I thought that was so incredible.

[23:41] Susan Blackwell: So generous.

[23:42] Laura Camien: And and the kind of gift that will not only keep on giving uh for her mom, but for every family member, like to deepen those connections and those relationships.

[23:56] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[23:57] Laura Camien: That's extraordinary.

[23:58] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, it's a goodie.

[24:00] Laura Camien: Wow. Alisa's husband Mike, who we also love.

[24:03] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[24:04] Laura Camien: Mike came up with a great gift for Elisa's birthday this year.

[24:09] Susan Blackwell: Alisa had been best friends with Susanna since they were girls.

[24:13] Laura Camien: They met at school, and this past year Susanna passed away.

[24:17] Susan Blackwell: So Elisa's husband Mike called the PTA of the school where these girls met, and working with the school's PTA, Mike gifted a donation in honor of Susanna and Elisa, and the PTA used Mike's donation to put a bench in the lobby of the school where those girls first met.

[24:35] Laura Camien: Oh my God, I'm gonna cry.

[24:37] Susan Blackwell: Isn't that the best?

[24:39] Laura Camien: And Mike, if you're listening to this, why don't you rock the fuck on?

[24:43] Susan Blackwell: That is such a thoughtful, loving gift.

[24:48] Laura Camien: God, that one really that just got me.

[24:50] Susan Blackwell: I know.

[24:52] Laura Camien: Isn't that loving? Beautiful.

[24:54] Susan Blackwell: And again, something that just keeps on giving.

[24:58] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[24:59] Susan Blackwell: A new set of girls are gonna sit on the meet and sit and talk and become best friends on that bench.

[25:07] Laura Camien: Yes.

[25:08] Susan Blackwell: Yes. I I loved that so much, Mike.

[25:10] Laura Camien: That was so great.

[25:11] Susan Blackwell: Wow. I think crafted gifts are so lovely.

[25:16] Laura Camien: Something that my mom did for years, and our friend Mark Lingenfelter's mom also did for years was to create a series of handmade ornaments for family and friends.

[25:26] Susan Blackwell: Even Mark's co-workers have a series of the cross stitch ornaments that his mom has made.

[25:31] Laura Camien: Oh awesome.

[25:33] Susan Blackwell: On Facebook, Tom Mattingley shared that 30 years ago, his dad hand built a shaker pendulum wall clock for Tom, and it still hangs in Tom's home.

[25:45] Laura Camien: And he said, as dad sinks further into Alzheimer's, it means more and more to me.

[25:51] Susan Blackwell: And I was like, what a poignant gift.

[25:54] Laura Camien: Wow.

[25:55] Susan Blackwell: Time. And that Tom's had that on his well.

[25:58] Laura Camien: I just thought that was so beautiful.

[26:01] Susan Blackwell: Tom, thank you so much for sharing that.

[26:03] Laura Camien: Oh, I love that.

[26:05] Susan Blackwell: Our friend Tim Bazzi gifts cuttings and germinations from his succulent plants.

[26:11] Laura Camien: Oh.

[26:12] Susan Blackwell: And he says he has so many.

[26:14] Laura Camien: His plants are thriving that first it was like friends, family, coworkers, and now he he leaves them out on the curb for strangers to come and please take a plant.

[26:25] Susan Blackwell: Grow beautiful plants.

[26:27] Laura Camien: This was an amazing thing.

[26:28] Susan Blackwell: Andrew Nielsen shared for my 30th birthday.

[26:31] Laura Camien: I was surprised with a shot for shot, full-length reenactment of an episode of Over the Garden Wall, starring my friends, filmed in my own apartment while I was out of town for less than 24 hours.

[26:45] Susan Blackwell: We all sat down on my birthday to watch the entire series.

[26:48] Laura Camien: This is a great series that Andrew loves.

[26:50] Susan Blackwell: They sat down to watch the entire series, and a few episodes in, the recreated episode started playing, and I was extremely confused.

[27:00] Laura Camien: Those are some kick ass friends.

[27:03] Susan Blackwell: What a gift.

[27:05] Laura Camien: What a gift.

[27:06] Susan Blackwell: What a gift.

[27:08] Laura Camien: That's a rock fact.

[27:10] Susan Blackwell: Love that.

[27:11] Laura Camien: Wow. Aaron J. Hunt on Facebook shared that he created a custom cattle brand and stand for his wife with all of this significance and deep backstory.

[27:25] Susan Blackwell: And I was like, that is, I mean, talk about a bespoke gift.

[27:31] Laura Camien: Yes.

[27:31] Susan Blackwell: Yes. Beautiful.

[27:33] Laura Camien: Toba Sirlman gave her best friend a quilt.

[27:36] Susan Blackwell: Largest quilt that Toba had made at that time, inspired by Sunday in the park with George.

[27:42] Laura Camien: And Toba said she learned how to quilt during the pandemic, watching YouTube videos.

[27:47] Susan Blackwell: Okay, quilting is no joke.

[27:49] Laura Camien: No fucking joke.

[27:51] Susan Blackwell: That's some serious craft.

[27:53] Laura Camien: Isn't that amazing?

[27:55] Susan Blackwell: Wow. Bought gifts can also be wildly creative and create a connection between the giver and the recipient.

[28:02] Laura Camien: This is a blind item.

[28:04] Susan Blackwell: My friend, we'll call him C.

[28:06] Laura Camien: My friend C gave my friend Jay a plain white envelope containing a plain white card with one word written on it.

[28:14] Susan Blackwell: Peru.

[28:15] Laura Camien: And Jay, the recipient knew exactly what it was.

[28:19] Susan Blackwell: C had gifted Jay with an ayahuasca retreat in Peru, something Jay had wanted to experience, and it changed Jay's life.

[28:27] Laura Camien: She came back believing there was something greater than us, a loving creative spirit as a result of that ayahuasca journey. I think that's a hell of a gift.

[28:37] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[28:38] Laura Camien: And uh hell of a presentation. Hell of Peru. Isn't that oh my God, it's so clean. I love that. Laura, I think about your sister Nori. After your dad passed, she had pillows made of his shirts that she gave to your family. I think that's so special. They have like this really sweet little tiny little poem on there.

[29:00] Laura Camien: And yes, it was so special. So truly special. I'll treasure it always. I love that. So I have a friend who is a layaway angel. He goes to department stores and pays off strangers' layaway debts during the holidays. Now, if you are unfamiliar with the term, layaway is a payment plan which allows a consumer to put down a deposit on an item and lay it away for future pickup. It's sort of for folks who maybe they don't have cash on hand or they're ineligible for credit cards. So if a family has all of their Christmas gifts on layaway, my friend goes and he clears the debt.

[29:45] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[29:45] Laura Camien: With no anonymously, totally anonymously. So imagine going to pay off your holiday gifts and learning that your balance is zero. I love that gift. Oh my gosh, that gives me chills. Isn't that beautiful?

[29:59] Susan Blackwell: It's wonderful.

[30:00] Laura Camien: So if you're interested, if you want to be a layaway angel, you can visit a retail store with a layaway program like Walmart or Burlington Coat Factory. Anonymously select a customer's layaway order and pay it off completely. And you can focus on families that have children's items and toys just by asking the staff for options with toys or clothing. So something to think about.

[30:26] Susan Blackwell: Really, really kind. You know what? I think one of the greatest gifts we have ever received.

[30:32] Laura Camien: Oh, what?

[30:35] Susan Blackwell: Oh. What were you gonna say?

[30:38] Laura Camien: Well, we have received funding.

[30:41] Susan Blackwell: That's what I was gonna say.

[30:43] Laura Camien: For our clients from the most beautiful human being who it essentially is like, I believe so much in what you're doing, and I can see how you're transforming lives, and I want to support your students and clients. That's I think one of the greatest gifts.

[31:05] Susan Blackwell: Huge.

[31:07] Laura Camien: It's huge. It has allowed that scholarship money has allowed so many people to be able to work with the Spark File.

[31:17] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[31:18] Laura Camien: Yeah, we don't take that lightly. Anonymous gifter. You know who you are, and we are grateful. Are you listening to this podcast right now with the little smile dawning on your face? Thank you, person.

[31:33] Susan Blackwell: Thank you, person.

[31:34] Laura Camien: Ooh. Here's just to take a complete turn, my friend, the great Kelly Navitsky, a person who infuses the way that she lives with creativity, took the gift thing, flipped it, and reversed it when she shared this. For my birthday one year, I asked everyone in lieu of gifts to share something with me via email that brought them joy or inspired them. Could be a quote, a comfort meal, an activity, etc. Then I spent the year weaving that something into my life. I turned someone's favorite quote into a mug, another into a bookmark, and another, I commissioned someone on Etsy to turn into a print. My friend Megan loved to ski. She took me skiing for my first and last time. Laughing emoji. Another friend had me join him at the performing arts library to watch his favorite musical.

I joined another friend for dinner at his favorite Jewish deli. Another friend had me come over and played his guitar and sang for me. And our pal Jeff Bowen took me bird watching. It was a remarkable way to connect with people who bring me the most joy and inspire me the most by learning more about them. Isn't that a rad idea?

[32:47] Susan Blackwell: Talk about creating a gift that creates connection between the giver and the receiver, and the giver and the receiver and the giver and the receiver.

[32:55] Laura Camien: Oh, yeah. Good. And all year long. Giving, you know, and receiving.

[33:01] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[33:02] Laura Camien: Yeah. Well done. Gifts that support someone's creativity can make such a great gift. For someone who loves to crochet or knit, this could be a gift certificate to a great local yarn store. Years ago, Nathan, my husband, gifted us our podcast equipment and got us all hooked up to make this podcast the gift that keeps on giving. I remember opening it, and with each package I opened, I was like, okay, I think we just need headphones. And then it's like a headphones.

[33:34] Susan Blackwell: So great.

[33:35] Laura Camien: Oh my God. If you have a fine artist in your life, this is an idea that I had. And I did a little bit of this for you and Hunter. I was traveling in Europe, and they are amazing independent art stores. So bringing back paints or pastels or pens from your travels could be so cool. So your artist friends.

[33:58] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[33:59] Laura Camien: Yes. If you want to give the gift of an amazing creative experience and you live near New York, our very own Wes Day is a certified Bob Ross painting instructor. And Wes creates these amazing Bob Ross painting experiences where everything is laid out for you. Your paint, your easel, your canvas, and he guides you through the making of an entire painting from the blank canvas to the finished work. Happy little trees, happy little clouds and all. And I think that would be an amazing gift and a fun thing to do with the recipient, your friend or a date or a group. And you can find more about it at WesDay.com.

[34:43] Susan Blackwell: Oh my gosh, you are after my heart.

[34:46] Laura Camien: I can vouch for it.

[34:48] Susan Blackwell: It's a fucking fantastic experience.

[34:51] Laura Camien: Have fun with that. You will marvel at yourself. Like truly, Wes will take you through it and you'll just be like, I can't believe I made that.

[35:00] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[35:00] Laura Camien: It's so cool. You could let that painting dry and you could gift it to somebody else.

[35:05] Susan Blackwell: That's right.

[35:05] Laura Camien: I mean, gifts on gifts. For anybody living anywhere, the Spark File New Year Creativity kickoff is a great gift. And it's a wonderful tradition. It's a one-day virtual retreat led by me and Laura Camien. And it is designed to put you on the good foot for the coming year. It's so fun. It's deep. You meet so many interesting people. You could give this gift to a friend or yourself. And it's really good for self-improvers, artists, performers, writers, creatives, Spark File fans. People who want to pivot, people who are ready to like write career pivoters.

[35:48] Susan Blackwell: Oh, that's a good one soon.

[35:50] Laura Camien: It is a good one. You can find out about that at thesparkfile.com. So what do we make of this lyric Cammy? Tell me. Before I tell you, I want to ask you the question I asked on social. What do you think is one of the most creative gifts you have ever given or received?

[36:09] Laura Camien: So I'll mention something that I gave that I'm really proud of, and that is um so over the course of my dad's life, we we as a family had tried to piece together kind of what happened to our grandpa in World War II because he was a hundred and first screaming eagle. Oh which is he's a paratrooper. He jumped out of a plane going too fast and too low on D Day. And um, if you know the movie Saving Private Ryan, you know, they all got scattered to the wind. So and he he did make it back from from the war, but he wouldn't talk about what he had done. So over the years we were always finding books, and we went on a trip and had like a tour guide take us through everything, small French towns where you know, grandpa likely um ended up, etc. But just a couple years ago, um, before dad passed, I was uh thanks to Anne Marie Petersma, I was on a particular auction site searching for for things related to 101st Airborne, and I found a book, like a really big picture book, but it it's so old, it's not what a you can imagine a picture book would look like right now. But um photographic, it was created by the PR department of the army, so it was a bit propaganda, if you would, like there was nothing negative in it, but it was an internal.

[38:17] Susan Blackwell: Um wow, and I yeah, I bid on it uh ferociously, and I got it, and I was able to gift it to my dad the very last Christmas that we had together.

[38:32] Laura Camien: Oh, Laura, what a glorious gift!

[38:36] Susan Blackwell: It was pretty awesome, and then I'm happy to say I got to re-gift it just a few weeks ago at Thanksgiving because my dad, because my stepmom had given it back to me after dad passed, which was so lovely. Thank you, Julie. And my dad's brother John.

[38:55] Laura Camien: Oh, I was like, Uncle Johnny, I have something for you.

[39:00] Susan Blackwell: So Laura.

[39:05] Laura Camien: It was a pretty good one.

[39:06] Susan Blackwell: It was a pretty good one. Did Johnny's head explode?

[39:08] Laura Camien: That is such a good gift. He looked at every page. He went page by page and looked at every page. And he's like, oh, now this I remember. Dad talked about this, not very much, but he did mention this. Um, and that was really, really cool to go back through all of it.

[39:24] Susan Blackwell: Laura, that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

[39:28] Laura Camien: You're such a good gift giver, Laura Camien.

[39:31] Susan Blackwell: Because you live the what do we make of this, Laura. You pay attention, you listen to people, you hear what matters to them, what they yearn for, if they have any open loops in their lives. And then you do this, and anybody listening, if you if you so choose, if you are so moved, use your creativity to respond with a gift that communicates that that person again is seen, they are heard, and they matter. And it is when we are present that we can really translate that into great presence.

[40:11] Laura Camien: I think it is a skill, it is a muscle that we can strengthen, but it starts with being present to people.

[40:18] Susan Blackwell: Oh, for sure.

[40:20] Laura Camien: And Suze, again, uh, you have this skill as well.

[40:27] Susan Blackwell: You're sweet.

[40:28] Laura Camien: Let's let's uh let's get out of here because we got we all sufficiently sparked.

[40:33] Susan Blackwell: Okay, thank you so much. Did you get sparked over there?

[40:36] Laura Camien: I got sparked.

[40:38] Susan Blackwell: So that's it. This episode of the Spark File was made on the lands of the Lenape and the Mohican people, and as always, we hope it put another bunch of sparks in your file. If there is a spark you'd like us to explore, or if you'd like to learn more about how to coach with us to accomplish your creative goals, you can email us at getcreative@thesparkfile.com or reach us through our website, thesparkfile.com. We'll even happily take your feedback. But you know the price of admission. First, we request that you share a creative risk that you've taken recently.

[41:15] Laura Camien: You can follow us on social at the sparkfile and be sure to subscribe, rate, and five-star review this podcast. It really helps other listeners to find us. If you like this podcast, we hope you'll share it with people that you love. And if you didn't like it, take those feelings, wrap them up in pretty paper and a tiny bow, and just shove them down your garbage disposal.

[41:37] Susan Blackwell: If something lights you up and gets your creative sparks flying, we are writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door. It's your turn to take that spark and fan it into a flame. You know, you gotta take it and make it.

[41:52] Laura Camien: Happy holidays.

[41:58] Susan Blackwell: Oh, great sparks, when I bumped into something that inspires me, I dump it in the spark files. Could be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be. I pump it in my spark files. I jump into my spark fire. Let's open up the spark fire.