This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] The Spark File podcast may contain profanity and other adult content.

[0:04] Please use your discretion.

[0:09] Laura Camien: When I bump into something that inspires me, I jump into my spark files.

[0:18] Susan Blackwell: Spark file to be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be.

[0:23] Laura Camien: I pump it in my spark spot.

[0:28] Susan Blackwell: I jump into my spark slide.

[0:32] Laura Camien: Let's open up the spark file.

[0:37] Susan Blackwell: Welcome to the spark file, where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart creative people don't go it alone.

[0:43] I'm Laura Camien.

[0:44] And I'm Susan Blackwell, and we are creativity coaches who help people clarify and accomplish their creative goals.

[0:51] And you know what? Just by listening to this podcast, you are joining a warm and wonderful clan of creatives.

[0:59] But you may be asking yourself, what exactly is a spark file?

[1:03] Laura Camien: Well, a spark file is a place where you consistently collect all of your inspirations and fascinations.

[1:11] Susan Blackwell: Every episode, we're gonna reach into our very own spark files and exchange some sparks.

[1:17] And from time to time, we're gonna talk to some folks who are sparkly and spark us too.

[1:21] And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take some of the sparks of inspiration and make something of your own.

[1:29] So without further ado, let's open up the Spark File.

[1:34] Laura Camien: Oh Laura.

[1:35] Susan Blackwell: Oh Susan.

[1:37] You know, as we were working through that introduction, I was like, we are really, we are really reaching into our very own Spark File today.

[1:47] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:48] Susan Blackwell: Or this Spark.

[1:49] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:50] Susan Blackwell: This is I can't wait. This this time, it's personal, Laura.

[1:54] Did you reach deep?

[1:55] Laura Camien: I did.

[1:56] Susan Blackwell: Good.

[1:57] I can't wait. This is good. You know, I uh there's a certain vulnerability that comes with uh sharing the spark that I'm about to share.

[2:10] And I will tell you that by I I think I had some real hesitancy about going where I'm about to go in the spark because I'm like, how does this reflect upon me?

[2:24] What are people gonna think about?

[2:26] And I was by the end of it, I was like, fuck it.

[2:32] Laura Camien: Yes!

[2:32] Susan Blackwell: Oh, I'm proud of you. That's a big that's a journey, and it's great to get on the other side of it.

[2:41] I'm so psyched. It was a journey with a soundtrack provided by Journey.

[2:46] Okay, before we begin, I want to remind you, Laura, and you sweet listener, that I am not a doctor, nothing shared today should be taken as medical advice, and a little content warning.

[2:59] I'm going to touch on the topic of suicide.

[3:02] Laura Camien: Oh okay.

[3:03] Susan Blackwell: I'm sorry, I was giggling.

[3:04] Laura Camien: Yeah, that's not that isn't funny.

[3:06] Susan Blackwell: That's okay. But I was thinking if you're getting your medical advice from the Spark File podcast, best wishes to you.

[3:13] Live and be well.

[3:15] So, this episode, I'd like to dedicate this episode to anyone who has had a period in their lives for anyone who loves someone who has had a period.

[3:25] Laura Camien: Whoa.

[3:25] Susan Blackwell: So if you're listening to this podcast, I feel like this episode is for all of you.

[3:29] You're even though it's on everybody. At first blush, you might be like, no, thank you.

[3:34] There's nothing I could possibly take from this episode of the Spark File podcast.

[3:39] Sit down, shut up.

[3:42] Laura Camien: Sorry.

[3:44] Susan Blackwell: No, I would never say that. I would never say that.

[3:46] This episode, this writing this has emboldened me.

[3:49] So I'm gonna try not to be a total dick.

[3:52] Laura Camien: I like it.

[3:52] You're spicy.

[3:54] Susan Blackwell: Spicy, Susan.

[3:55] Laura Camien: Makes me a little spicy.

[3:56] Susan Blackwell: So here's a little story for you. About six years ago, six years ago, and I had to look it up, Laura.

[4:04] Oh boy.

[4:05] Susan Blackwell: Six years ago, I was at the gynecologist.

[4:08] And at that time, my only regular physician that I saw regularly was my gynecologist.

[4:15] I didn't have a primary care doctor.

[4:18] Just my gynecologist.

[4:19] I treated them as my primary care physician.

[4:23] Laura Camien: So they loved it.

[4:24] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, I bet.

[4:25] So this gynecologist was new to me.

[4:28] She had inherited me when my gynecologist left the practice.

[4:34] And because I was then treating my gynecologist as my primary care physician, I told her how run down I felt.

[4:42] And I even asked her if she was able to test me for Lyme disease.

[4:47] And she looked at me like I was crazy and said, No, I can't do that for you.

[4:55] And I remember being like, I guess I'm an idiot for asking.

[5:01] But what she didn't do was ask me any follow-up questions.

[5:05] And I'm sure she was in the midst of her busy gynecological day.

[5:09] And she is not incentivized to take that time to say, so you're feeling really she's a gynecologist.

[5:16] So you're feeling all these sorts of this cluster of symptoms.

[5:22] So flash forward.

[5:25] Laura Camien: You want to say something about it?

[5:26] Susan Blackwell: You got something to say about it, Laura Camien?

[5:28] Laura Camien: I do.

[5:29] I do.

[5:29] Because yeah, they're not your primary care doctor.

[5:32] But the symptoms you're describing could easily fall into, and I know you're about to tell us about it, could fall into an area that would make sense for the realm of expertise.

[5:45] Susan Blackwell: Exactly right. That's exactly right. That's why I'm feeling feisty about it.

[5:48] Laura Camien: Yes.

[5:49] Susan Blackwell: So flash forward over the next several years, that rundown feeling sort of came and went.

[5:56] And then in the last, I'm gonna say two years, it really intensified.

[6:01] And I experienced buckle up, overwhelming fatigue, waking up tired during the day.

[6:10] I experienced a lack of energy, lethargy, I was physically moving more slowly.

[6:16] I wanted to sit down frequently.

[6:19] I had a loss of interest in activities that I had previously loved.

[6:24] I had difficulty making decisions, difficulty absorbing information.

[6:29] I had been clinically depressed about 20 years prior, and I took medication for it.

[6:35] But in the the interim 20 years, I have always been able to manage any bouts of mild depression with diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, meditation therapy.

[6:46] But whatever this was, whatever I was experiencing now was not letting up, even though I was proactively working out four to five times a week.

[6:57] I was getting consistent sleep, I was taking in sunlight when I woke up.

[7:01] I was eating uh anti-inflammatory, high protein diet.

[7:04] I wasn't drinking alcohol, I wasn't taking caffeine, I was meditating two times a day.

[7:09] I was living in a nun.

[7:12] Laura Camien: I saw you throw in everything at this.

[7:15] Susan Blackwell: Everything.

[7:17] And it was not budging.

[7:20] So it became my project to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me.

[7:25] And with other doctors, not just my gynecologist, I ruled out Lyme disease.

[7:32] I ruled out rheumatoid arthritis.

[7:34] And I felt like I was losing my mind.

[7:38] I felt like I didn't know myself.

[7:41] Laura Camien: Susan, in that exploration, because I remember you did go and do a bunch of tests.

[7:46] Did anybody name a thing that you haven't named yet today?

[7:54] Did they did anybody bring up the possibility of it being?

[8:00] Susan Blackwell: No.

[8:02] Nobody named it until I named it.

[8:07] Through all my little research and all my little, you know, self-study and inquiry, and it came into focus.

[8:15] It was what Laura just mouthed, but you couldn't see menopause or perimenopause to be exact.

[8:23] Laura Camien: I'm so mad.

[8:26] Susan Blackwell: I'm so mad that you think your doctors were like, hey, it could be this.

[8:35] No.

[8:35] Now, in fairness, I also have a bias.

[8:39] I have this internal, I've said this before.

[8:42] Like, I always think this internal concept of myself as a 15-year-old boy.

[8:48] Like, I think I am just like you have menopause.

[8:52] How could I?

[8:52] But it's it's like that.

[8:54] I think I've said this to you before.

[8:56] I remember when I got the call through my agent, and they were like, Oh, they'd like you to come in and do this episode of Law and Order.

[9:03] Um, they want you to play the judge on this episode.

[9:05] And I was like, the judge, I couldn't possibly, I'm too young to play the judge.

[9:10] Cut to me full robes like gun-gun.

[9:13] So I but I'm only 15.

[9:15] I'm a 15-year-old boy.

[9:17] How can I possibly play the judge?

[9:19] But it was this.

[9:21] It was I wasn't even looking in that direction.

[9:26] Laura Camien: Okay, but that's you.

[9:28] These are professional medical professionals who can see that you are not a 15-year-old boy.

[9:36] And they might say, Hey, here's something we should explore.

[9:41] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, but no.

[9:43] But no.

[9:44] Oh my gosh.

[9:45] Laura Camien: We'll we're gonna get into it.

[9:46] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, I've processed a lot of um anger around this topic.

[9:53] Um, but here we are.

[9:56] And um so let's get into it.

[9:59] Let's talk about what is menopause because I'm gonna be honest with you.

[10:03] I'm a grown woman, and I still had so much to learn.

[10:10] Laura Camien: Yes, and things that I started to learn from friends, yeah, friends who had gone through it who were like, hey, here's a hot tip.

[10:21] Susan Blackwell: It wasn't from these doctors.

[10:23] So menopause occurs when a person's ovaries stop producing eggs and estrogen and progesterone levels decline.

[10:30] Technically, you've entered menopause when you haven't had your period for 365 days, one year without your period, and you're officially welcome to menopause.

[10:42] Laura Camien: Okay.

[10:43] Susan Blackwell: So this can happen naturally, or it can be caused by surgery to remove the ovaries or uterus, cancer treatments like chemotherapy, or for a genetic reason.

[10:55] The transition to menopause is called perimenopause.

[11:00] And perimenopause can last for several years.

[11:04] I just want to take a moment to note that perimenopause would be a great drag queen or king name, but I'm sure somebody's claimed it.

[11:12] Laura Camien: Okay.

[11:17] Susan Blackwell: So most women experience menopause between the ages of 45 and 55, but it can happen earlier or later.

[11:25] And the average age in the United States is 51.

[11:29] And some transgender men, non-binary people, and intersex people may also experience menopause.

[11:36] Laura Camien: So there's a lot of people who may experience menopause.

[11:41] Susan Blackwell: Yes. Menopausal symptoms, I should say.

[11:44] And some of those symptoms include, and I'm gonna sound like Roseanne Rosanna Dana here.

[11:50] If you don't know who that was, kids, there's a character that's not a good idea.

[11:58] Laura Camien: Oh my god, that's amazing.

[12:00] Susan Blackwell: Roseanne Rosanna Dana was a character that Gilda Radner played on Saturday Night Live.

[12:05] And she would be like, My this is, my that is, my father, okay.

[12:09] That's what I'm gonna sound like.

[12:10] But these are some of the symptoms.

[12:14] Irregular periods, that would be in perimenopause, hot flashes, night sweats, difficulty sleeping, breast soreness, joint pain, muscle aches, bloating, weight gain, tingling in your hands, feet, or arms, decreased sex drive, vaginal dryness, brittle nails, loss of hair, dry skin, general itchiness, itchy ears, acne, headaches, dizziness, fatigue, anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, panic attacks, burning tongue, taste bud changes, gum and teeth issues, digestive issues, changes in body odor, bladder control issues, irregular heartbeat, and electric shock sensations in your body.

[13:03] Laura Camien: What?

[13:04] Susan Blackwell: That's right, Laura.

[13:06] And hold on.

[13:09] She's not done yet.

[13:11] Susan Blackwell: Last November, an article came out of the Cambridge University Press over there in the UK.

[13:18] It was entitled Severe Mental Illness and the Perimenopause.

[13:23] According to this article, due to fluctuating and declining estrogen levels people experience during perimenopause, some can experience anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, dissociation, and anhedonia.

[13:39] Laura Camien: What's anhedonia you might ask?

[13:42] Besides being another grade A drag queen name.

[13:45] Susan Blackwell: Anhedonia is the reduced ability to experience pleasure or interest in activities that were once enjoyable.

[13:52] Laura Camien: Oh.

[13:53] Susan Blackwell: It can manifest as a general lack of interest in life or as a more specific inability to experience pleasure from certain types of activities.

[14:02] Laura Camien: Social anhedonia is a lack of interest in social interactions and relationships.

[14:07] Susan Blackwell: For example, you may not want to spend time with others or get involved in dating or friendships, and physical anhedonia is an inability to experience pleasure from sensory experiences like touch, smell, or sound.

[14:19] Susan Blackwell: For example, you might no longer enjoy going out to eat or listening to live music.

[14:25] Laura Camien: Wow.

[14:27] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Laura, recently, I sent you, Laura's been with me on this journey.

[14:34] Laura Camien: I've seen it.

[14:35] Susan Blackwell: I've got to be able to do it. Laura has been in the trenches with me.

[14:39] Laura Camien: We're in there.

[14:40] Susan Blackwell: And I texted you recently. It was a post by Dr.

[14:46] Laura Camien: Mary Claire Haber.

[14:48] Susan Blackwell: Yep. And it was doing God's work.

[14:51] Laura Camien: She is.

[14:51] Susan Blackwell: And she's taking heat for it too because people are critical.

[14:57] Laura Camien: There's a last week this article came out.

[14:59] Susan Blackwell: Sorry. I'm off script here.

[15:01] Laura Camien: No, I want to know what's she getting heat for.

[15:04] Susan Blackwell: Last week the New York Times published an article that was critical of Dr. Mary Claire Haber because it said she is capitalizing on people going through menopause by selling supplements and promoting a diet to for people to work on this role fat. And I was like, fuck all of you because medical, well, I'll get to this in a second. One of the sources of my outrage is how little attention and medical research has been paid to menopause and perimenopause. And I was like, she is shining a light on it. And if that's what it takes to move the needle, how dare they say, and now she and she shouldn't make money off of that. How many industries, questionable characters have come in where they see an opportunity anywhere, and they're selling people bullshit, and she's actually providing much needed information that is missing from what we're getting from the medical field.

[16:09] Laura Camien: The comment section on that New York Times article is really funny because people are like, fuck that and fuck you. Like this has been this woman has been a real godsend for me.

[16:24] Susan Blackwell: And I understand some of the arguments that the doctors who are cited in the article, I understand some of the arguments they're making, but I was like, the benefits that she's providing so far outweigh any of what her detractors are saying anyway.

[16:40] Laura Camien: Yeah, and also I just want to say, okay, so medical if you think medical fields should be doing this, then step up.

[16:49] Susan Blackwell: Do better. We won't need to look to other sources to a first of all educate us on things that like we have been women all of our lives. And the two of us are like, how do we not know this? Oh my god. How do we not know this? Because Laura, so little attention has been paid to this, it is outrageous.

[17:09] Laura Camien: It's absolutely insane.

[17:11] Susan Blackwell: So I sent Laura a little Instagram post where Dr. Mary Claire Haver was giving sort of an overview of this article from the Cambridge University Press. And I was like, this comes the closest to capturing, not to overstate it, but capturing how this struggle that I've been having for like the last two years. And I'm, you know, I'm loath to admit it because it doesn't square with my view of who I am as a person. I feel I've lived my life being, I guess, really drenched in estrogen. And as a happy byproduct of that, being optimistic and energetic and, you know, just really active and curious. And I was like, huh, well, this is this is uh this is me too. So coming to terms with that was was really um naming it was was scary and helpful.

[18:18] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[18:19] Susan Blackwell: But I all of that makes so much sense to me, Suze, because our identity, who we have known ourselves to be. And I I had a period of that when I had back surgery. But it was a little bit easier, you know, because I'd always been like, oh, I would do that, I would do that. And I would have I found myself having to be like, no, I actually can't do that, or I better not do that, et cetera.

[18:39] Laura Camien: Yes.

[18:40] Susan Blackwell: But I had a tangible reason that others could point to and be like, oh, right, right, right. You just you had back surgery. So whereas in menopause, you're like, well, to the outside world, you look like Susan, always been Susan. What's like what's the problem?

[18:58] Laura Camien: Yes.

[18:58] Susan Blackwell: And so in that Cambridge University article, it states that in Britain, the most likely time for women to die by suicide is between the ages of 45 and 49. And the authors of that article believe this is directly related to untreated menopause. And Laura, you and I have talked about throughout history how uh women of a certain age, it's sort of like, oh, just Well, you know what makes me livid is lobotomies. There was a time where, like, this is what we'll do. We'll remove part of their brain. That ought to that ought to solve these issues. Well, institutionalize them, we'll and I live it. Like these symptoms are pretty extreme. And I get like if I'm sort of like, I feel like I am losing my grip.

I can imagine if, you know, if I was living in Victorian times and my husband was like, I'm not looking for all that, like That's right. If you uh uh you if you were not able to fulfill your duties as a wife and uh do it without complaint, yeah, and if you were, yeah, if you were married to the wrong person or someone who had just no empathy for what you're going through, or maybe you didn't have female friends that you could talk to about this because it hasn't been a topic that yes, and there we know just a tiny little bit now, but we know more than we did a hundred years ago, say.

[20:33] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[20:34] Susan Blackwell: So it's uh okay, let me try to get myself together here because I feel like I'm just like fueled by rage. I want to stress that the symptoms that I just listed can be pretty extreme. And there are some people who have had periods who go through perimenopause and menopause and don't experience any or many of these symptoms. So because you've had a period doesn't mean that you're necessarily going to experience. Huh. But if you have experienced any of them with any frequency for any period of time, you know how shitty that can be. To inexplicably go from feeling vibrant and alive and creative to feeling differently.

[21:22] Laura Camien: That's right.

[21:23] Susan Blackwell: And to further complicate and shitify things, as we just mentioned, there's an alarming lack of research and medical training around menopause, which is shocking given the number of people who will experience some of these life-changing symptoms. Laura, I have read repeatedly that most physicians today, today receive only about one hour of instruction on menopause in their entire medical education.

[21:55] Laura Camien: You heard me right.

[21:57] Susan Blackwell: One hour. And then you wonder why we went to Dr. Mary for more information.

[22:05] Laura Camien: That's right.

[22:06] Susan Blackwell: And no wonder my gynecologist couldn't connect, I feel run down, achy and tired with menopause.

[22:14] Laura Camien: Exactly.

[22:15] Susan Blackwell: This is from the New York Times. This is another, this is critical. And um this threw a log on the fire of my rage. Back in 2002, the limited menopause care that existed was diminished even further. That year, researchers overseeing the country's first wide-scale study of health outcomes in post-menopausal women, known as the Women's Health Initiative, abruptly ended their trial of estrogen and progestin therapy after they saw a very small increase in breast cancer among some participants taking oral estrogen. The findings are now considered to have been overblown, but headlines about the study had a chilling effect on treatment. Nearly overnight, hormones fell out of fashion among menopausal women.

By 2007, the number of eligible menopausal women taking them dropped from 40% to below 5%. Laura, I cannot, I know that that just sounded like a dry passage from the New York Times, but what it meant was the people who were the subject matter experts who were conducting the research and the studies, the women's health initiative came out and said that if you take oral hormones, hormone replacement therapy, you run an increased risk of you know, really life-threatening conditions. And literally overnight, women who had been receiving who had been feeling real relief from those therapies dropped them, dropped them like overnight. And we now know that in healthy women, the benefits of hormone replacement therapy outweigh the risk.

And it is absolutely, I think about how I have, I'm gonna say it, how I have suffered, suffered, suffered, and I think about the relief that I have experienced by um utilizing hormone replacement therapy. And I'm like, you are going to have to pull this out of my cold dead hands. And when I talked to my gynecologist about it, I was just like, I don't, I don't care. I don't care if I have an increased risk. Now, this is very cavalier to say, and for people that have been through cancer, breast cancer, like serious issues with blood clots, you might be like, Susan, you should care. And I respect it. And I'm just like, the way that I'm living now is filled with so much suffering. Again, not to overstate it.

I'm not a martyr, but I was just like, this is no way to live. I need help. And so it angers me. It angers me that they the research I feel like was skewed and the reading of it was skewed. And then it just spread far and wide and repeatedly. Like I know you and I talked about that, that I had never even thought of it as an option because my mom had breast cancer. She had it at 37 and then continued to have it off and on throughout her life, and it, you know, it spread to other parts of her body. And so it was just to me, oh no. Uh hormone replacement, no. That's a no. So I want you to know, Laura, there's a documentary I'm gonna talk about in just a second.

[25:41] Laura Camien: Okay, great.

[25:41] Susan Blackwell: And in that documentary, they specifically say, I don't talk about it in the Spark, but I want to say it too now. They specifically address, and I just want to remind everybody again, I'm not a doctor, but the doctor in the documentary states that because you have uh like your mom had breast cancer, it doesn't rule you out for participating in hormone replacement therapy if you should need it.

[26:07] Laura Camien: That's good to know.

[26:08] Susan Blackwell: I had just always thought the risk was too high. I had just believed like I got a tiny piece of information many, many, many, many years ago. I never got any further information. And so I just was like, oh, that that won't be for me if and when the time comes.

[26:25] Laura Camien: I think it's a conversation you can still have with your doctor if you need it.

[26:29] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Because you may not.

[26:31] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[26:32] Susan Blackwell: So why am I talking about all of this on a creativity podcast?

[26:37] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[26:38] Susan Blackwell: Why, Suze?

[26:39] Laura Camien: Well, for one reason, I am a person who makes things from my lived experience, like this podcast. So I have this platform, and I want to shout about this from the rooftops. If you are a menstruating person of a certain age, and you start to feel off, or you start to feel poorly, consider the possibility it might be perimenopause. Even if you are still getting your period, your estrogen levels may be fluctuating or declining, and that can make you feel unwell in strange and mysterious ways. So find a doctor who does have training and expertise regarding perimenopause and menopause and talk to them and learn what can be done. Another reason I want to share this is to acknowledge that these changes can impact and inform our creativity.

[27:33] Laura Camien: Impact as in I am still evolving.

[27:54] Susan Blackwell: Which isn't surprising to me because sometimes brain fog, cognitive fatigue, word retrieval challenges can make me want to work in forms that don't rely so heavily on language.

[28:08] Laura Camien: Oh, that makes so much sense.

[28:10] Susan Blackwell: Right? I've joked with you for years, Laura. It's not a great joke, and and with due respect, as far as joke. It's but I felt this change in my cognition, and I would joke about my early onset Alzheimer's, but that was me observing my changing brain through the lens of humor.

[28:31] Susan Blackwell: And now I know that a lot of that is because of decreasing and fluctuating hormones due to this change of life.

[28:40] Laura Camien: But the important takeaway there is that you noticed changes in your brain.

[28:45] Susan Blackwell: I did. Oh my God, Laura. Oh my God. I feel like you have been, whether you like it or not, listening for a travelogue about these changes in my brain for years now. And I have to say it was very helpful when all of this came into focus because I was like, oh, maybe it is not early onset Alzheimer's. Maybe it is a cluster of symptoms around menopause. That being said, just a little sidebar. There is a connection between menopause and Alzheimer's that is being studied currently. Two-thirds of all Alzheimer's patients are women. Just want to sidebar that and note it. I think that's interesting.

[29:26] Susan Blackwell: Wow. Another way that my creativity, I feel like the change in my creativity is I'm at this age where I want to, I have amassed a lot of experience and wisdom. And I'm at an age where what I want to be doing is sharing that.

[29:44] Laura Camien: Oh, you like come to life.

[29:47] Susan Blackwell: You come to life, Susan. I watch it happen all the time, but it's like um the opportunity to support a client, share wisdom, knowledge, ideas with a client, like it is like a light bulb goes off. And I can see that that is a place where you get creative joy and fulfillment.

[30:11] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[30:12] Susan Blackwell: So that's something, you know, that is informed by these changes that I'm experiencing.

[30:17] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[30:18] Susan Blackwell: I'm also seeing how it is informing the creativity of other artists, artists like Miranda July. This summer, she published a novel called All Fours. And in a story in the New York Times, the headline read, she wrote the first great perimenopause novel.

[30:37] Laura Camien: Wow.

[30:38] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. So uh Oma Shade Bernie Scott hosts the Black Girl's Guide to Surviving Menopause.

[30:45] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[30:46] Susan Blackwell: Described as a multimedia project seeking to curate and share the stories and realities of black women and femmes over 50. Alma Shade hosts a podcast called The Black Girl's Guide to Surviving Menopause. And that is described as an excavation of the things that you need to know, but we're never told. It's the guide we wish we all had access to, no matter our age.

[31:09] Susan Blackwell: And then we have women like journalist Tamson Fadal, who produced a documentary called The M Factor to, and I quote, shine a light on the unspoken challenges women face during menopause, revealing the gaps in medical education, the disparities in treatment, and the true impact on our physical and mental health. This film is about empowering every woman to take control of her health and advocate for change.

[31:36] Laura Camien: And in the United States, you can currently watch that for free on PBS.

[31:42] Susan Blackwell: And this is interesting because this documentary, they've actually, it's accredited so healthcare providers who watch this can get like credit towards their interesting.

[31:55] Laura Camien: It can be one more hour of their menopause training.

[31:59] Susan Blackwell: So then they'll have two hours.

[31:59] Laura Camien: Two hours.

[32:03] Susan Blackwell: So, you know, on this podcast, we sometimes ask, what do we make of it? What are we gonna do with this?

[32:09] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[32:10] Susan Blackwell: And so first I just want to say if you feel like this may be something that you're experiencing, or something that somebody you love or care about is experiencing, or you just want to be an informed person, go out, go forth and learn. Learn, learn, learn, read about it, watch, discuss, share information. Talk to a doctor who is trained in menopause. I had to search for mine, but I found her, and she knows me and we talk.

[32:43] Susan Blackwell: And I know that when I see her, she's not like I read the notes quickly to remind myself who this person is. Uh-huh. We talk. She has adjusted my hormone therapy two or three times now as we try to like dial it in and we try to get back to good old Susan again.

[33:03] Susan Blackwell: I want you to know that perimenopause and menopause is simply a profound hormone shift. But to quote Dr. Kelly Casperson, who is featured in the M Factor documentary that Tamson Fadal produced, we've done hormone shifts before. We do it in puberty, we do it with our periods, we do it with pregnancy.

[33:25] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[33:25] Susan Blackwell: This is another life event, not some unique and devastating thing that we've never dealt with before. So thank you for that, Dr. Kelly Kasperson. I want to do my part, Laura, to normalize this discussion for humans and for creatives. And it can feel fraught because it can be unexpected, mysterious. It's tied up with ageism and sexism and cultural taboos and gender equality. It can feel shameful and negative, but I want to break through that for myself as a human and as an artist.

[34:00] Laura Camien: Yes.

[34:00] Susan Blackwell: Not fucking playing anymore.

[34:02] Laura Camien: Yes.

[34:03] Susan Blackwell: If that's a side effect, I like it. Spiciness is a side effect. You may have heard me say, I know you have, Laura, listeners, you may have heard this as well. There is a golden thread that runs through all of my creative work. It is my purpose, and it is to free myself and anyone who wants to come along for the ride to free creativity, to free self-expression, to free laughter, to free understanding, to free connection.

[34:30] Susan Blackwell: In the M Factor documentary, which did I mention you can watch for free on PBS, Dr. Wen Shen says, menopause can actually be viewed as freedom. Freedom from having menstrual cycles, freedom from the fear of getting pregnant, which sidebar in this day and age, yes. Women should celebrate the wisdom and the knowledge that is gained from the decades lived and carry herself with pride that she has made it through and has a lot to give.

[34:58] Laura Camien: On TikTok, a content creator named Kimberly Beatty posted this.

[35:04] Susan Blackwell: There is a Native American saying that says, at her first bleed, she's introduced to her power. During her bleeding years, she practices her power. And at menopause, she becomes that power.

[35:19] Laura Camien: Why did that make me want to cry?

[35:21] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Kimberly Beatty continues. So while many are focusing on the decline and the deficiency that happens in a woman's body during the change, I want to let you know, and I'm reminding myself that you are walking into your greatest season of power yet. Those are Kimberly Beatty's words interpreting an Ojibwe saying, that is my spark today. We are walking into the greatest season of power yet.

[35:51] Laura Camien: Yes, Susan Blackwell, yes.

[35:55] Susan Blackwell: It's a lot. It's it is a lot, and I've seen you go through a lot. But for you to end on that note, and you know, for you to be feeling that sense of empowerment that you created for yourself because you went out and found this information.

[36:13] Laura Camien: You had to seek it out, you had to, you know, they're not making it easy on us for you.

[36:13] Susan Blackwell: Not making it easy, but you did that, and I hope that you give yourself credit for doing that. And now you're sharing it with others. And I appreciate it. When I sat down to write The Spark today, I felt kind of overwhelmed because it's, you know, I'm still in it. Like this is I'm up in my lived experience of this. We have not passed through to the other side yet. And I felt pretty overwhelmed.

[36:42] Susan Blackwell: But by the time I found Kimberly sharing that Ojibwe saying with me, reminding me that we're walking into our greatest season of power, and I can feel what Kimberly is talking about.

[36:56] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[36:57] Susan Blackwell: Like I I can feel that. I have to say, I texted, I texted Nathan, and I was just like, let me pull up the text. I'm gonna tell you exactly what I said to Nathan. I feel determined that we should do what we need to do so we can feel better. Life is too good for this suffering. And I was like, That's right. And I am on my way.

[37:18] Laura Camien: Like I have made great strides.

[37:20] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[37:21] Laura Camien: It has taken a lot of work on your part, not just learning and researching, but application of all the various attempts that you have made to, you know, find the answer, um, and then find something that would be helpful, and then uh various amounts of medication, etc. It's just like holy shit.

[37:43] Susan Blackwell: And all of this rests on the foundation of an enormous amount of privilege that I have that I, you know, I am a white woman who has health insurance.

[37:55] Laura Camien: That's right.

[37:56] Susan Blackwell: That's right. And it's still been a project.

[37:59] Laura Camien: It's still been a project.

[38:00] Susan Blackwell: But anything I can do to make somebody else's life easier, whether it's you, Laura Camien, or you listener, somebody that you love, listener, I am I am here for it.

[38:11] Laura Camien: Yes, I am here for it.

[38:12] Susan Blackwell: I'm so thankful for it because I feel like I learned from you on the daily. And I'm feeling like I'm also thinking about those women who started podcasts and education series dedicated entirely to this, like they are doing God's work.

[38:29] Laura Camien: I truly so I believe so.

[38:32] Susan Blackwell: And on another podcast episode, somewhere someday, we can talk more about like I just don't think it's a coincidence that in this season of power, this is the hormonal change that we have neglected. You know, nobody has issues with hormonal changes for teenagers, hormonal changes with pregnant women.

[38:58] Laura Camien: Yes, in the documentary, they're like it's celebrated.

[39:01] Susan Blackwell: It's celebrated when these changes happen. And there's, you know, uh baby showers and gender reveal parties and even celebrations of girls getting their period. And things that are also treated as charming, like uh and funny, like oh, a pickle craving, uh, pickles and ice cream, or like the the behaviors of a woman whose hormones are changing while pregnant, um are teased and kind of made fun of in a like in a funny way.

[39:33] Laura Camien: It's tolerable, it's funny, it's also they know temporary.

[39:38] Susan Blackwell: Um, and then cut to in menopause.

[39:43] Laura Camien: It's not as cute.

[39:43] Susan Blackwell: Not as cute, not as celebrated, and the suggestions of you know of what they've come up with in the past, I'm not impressed by the institutionalizing women who you know they just can't handle because they now have opinions and are expressing the things that they are unhappy about or aren't feeling well about, and um it's either that or remove you know the frontal lobe.

[40:11] Laura Camien: Yeah, like just didn't seem like they really gave it.

[40:14] Susan Blackwell: They're all there.

[40:15] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[40:17] Susan Blackwell: Friends, go watch that documentary. Thank you, Tamson Fadal. You're doing God's work.

[40:20] Laura Camien: Oh my god.

[40:22] Susan Blackwell: Thank you, and thank you, Susan. What a great spark. Friends, that's it. I'm gonna climb down off my menopause soapbox and say that this episode of The Spark File was made on the lands of the Lenape and the Mohican people.

[40:36] Laura Camien: And as always, we hope it put another bunch of menopausal sparks in your spark file.

[40:41] Susan Blackwell: Listen, if there's a spark that you'd like us to explore, or if you'd like to learn more about how to coach with us to accomplish your creative goals, you can email get creative at the sparkfile.com or reach us through our website, thesparkfile.com.

[40:55] Laura Camien: We will even happily take your feedback, but you know the price of admission.

[41:00] Susan Blackwell: First, you have to share a creative risk that you've taken recently.

[41:03] Laura Camien: You can follow us on social at the SparkFile and be sure to subscribe, rate, and five star review this podcast.

[41:10] Susan Blackwell: It really helps other listeners to find us.

[41:12] Laura Camien: Also, if you like this podcast, we hope you'll share it with people that you love.

[41:16] Susan Blackwell: And if you didn't like it, I again I just say I just don't, I don't care.

[41:22] Laura Camien: There she is.

[41:24] Susan Blackwell: There she is that spicy menopausal Susan.

[41:29] Laura Camien: Spicy Susan.

[41:31] Susan Blackwell: I like her a lot. If anything lights you up and gets your creative sparks flying, you know that we're writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door.

[41:42] Laura Camien: It's your turn to take that spark and fan it into a flame.

[41:47] Susan Blackwell: You know, you gotta take it and make it.

[41:52] Laura Camien: Bye.

[41:53] Susan Blackwell: Bye.

[41:54] Laura Camien: Thank you for that, Suze.

[41:56] Susan Blackwell: When I bope into something that inspires me.

[42:01] Laura Camien: I dump it in the spark files.

[42:05] Susan Blackwell: Spar fire could be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be.

[42:11] Laura Camien: I'll pump it in my spark fire.

[42:16] Susan Blackwell: I jump into my spark files.

[42:20] Laura Camien: Let's open up the spark fire.