This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:36] Laura Camien: Welcome to the Spark File, where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart creative people don't go it alone.

[0:44] Susan Blackwell: I'm Laura Camien.

[0:45] Susan Blackwell: And I'm Susan Blackwell, and we are creativity coaches who help people clarify and accomplish their creative goals.

[0:52] Susan Blackwell: You ought to know that just by listening to this podcast, you are joining a warm and wonderful clan of creatives.

[0:58] Susan Blackwell: But you might also be asking yourself, what ladies, what exactly is a sparkfile?

[1:04] Laura Camien: Hey, a sparkfile is a place where you consistently collect all of your inspirations and fascinations.

[1:10] Susan Blackwell: Every episode, we're gonna reach into our sparkfiles and exchange some sparks.

[1:16] Laura Camien: And from time to time, we're gonna talk to some folks who spark us too.

[1:19] Susan Blackwell: And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take some of those sparks of inspiration and make something of your own.

[1:26] Susan Blackwell: So without further ado, let's open up the spark file.

[1:31] Laura Camien: Hi, Laura Camien.

[1:33] Susan Blackwell: Hello, Susan Blackwell.

[1:34] Laura Camien: It's good to see you.

[1:35] Susan Blackwell: It's good to see you too.

[1:36] Laura Camien: How are you doing over there?

[1:38] Susan Blackwell: I'm doing well, even better now.

[1:40] Susan Blackwell: Looking at your face.

[1:42] Laura Camien: What?

[1:43] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, I know.

[1:44] Susan Blackwell: Cheese ball.

[1:45] Laura Camien: Like ways, I'm sure.

[1:47] Susan Blackwell: Thank you.

[1:48] Susan Blackwell: You want to know something?

[1:50] Laura Camien: What?

[1:50] Susan Blackwell: There's something really wonderful about having lots of creative friends because when you get gifted things, you get gifted things that they have made.

[1:59] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[2:00] Susan Blackwell: I was just snacking on the most delicious gingerbread made by Ebony Vines.

[2:07] Laura Camien: Huh?

[2:08] Susan Blackwell: Yes, it's so good.

[2:11] Laura Camien: Sparkfile community member, Ebony Vines made you gingerbread, homemade gingerbread?

[2:16] Susan Blackwell: Homemade gingerbread from Ebony Vines.

[2:19] Susan Blackwell: Now, Ebony has made various types of bread that last about 45 seconds here in this apartment.

[2:27] Susan Blackwell: I'm like, that was good. What's next?

[2:30] Laura Camien: Um was sh so good.

[2:31] Susan Blackwell: So good.

[2:32] Susan Blackwell: So I just had a little snack.

[2:34] Susan Blackwell: Speaking of the Sparkfile community and gingerbread, I don't know if you have seen it.

[2:40] Susan Blackwell: By the time this podcast airs, this is gonna be yielding news to people who are in the Sparkfile community.

[2:47] Susan Blackwell: We have a daily post called Gains, Aims, and I throw in a little bonus gratitude.

[2:53] Susan Blackwell: So it's basically today's gains.

[2:56] Susan Blackwell: We reflect back on the day, then you list your tomorrow's aims, things that you want to accomplish the following day.

[3:02] Susan Blackwell: And then I always like to I throw in bonus gratitude because I like to do that.

[3:06] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[3:07] Susan Blackwell: But Catherine Gwynn, who is a member of the Sparkfile community and an amazing baker, baked karate chop cookies that look like gingerbread men that are in karate, like haya, karate poses that she then piped.

[3:27] Laura Camien: That is awesome.

[3:27] Susan Blackwell: And she said it was like the most intricate piping she's ever done.

[3:34] Laura Camien: Yes, indeed.

[3:35] Susan Blackwell: But she piped them so beautifully.

[3:37] Susan Blackwell: It looked like something in a magazine, and she made them for her son and husband's holiday party at the Karate Studio where they take lessons.

[3:50] Laura Camien: That is awesome.

[3:52] Susan Blackwell: They are, they are gingerbread plus plus plus.

[3:55] Laura Camien: Wow, they're like gingerbread men with black belts.

[4:00] Susan Blackwell: That's exactly.

[4:01] Susan Blackwell: And they do have black belts.

[4:02] Laura Camien: Oh wow.

[4:04] Susan Blackwell: That's some dangerous gingerbread man.

[4:06] Laura Camien: Don't mess with him.

[4:07] Susan Blackwell: They're so cute.

[4:09] Laura Camien: Cat in the kitchen.

[4:10] Susan Blackwell: Cat in the kitchen.

[4:12] Susan Blackwell: So good.

[4:12] Susan Blackwell: This is actually a really, really good segue for the spark I want to spark you with today, Laura Camien, because my spark for you today is all about community.

[4:23] Laura Camien: I love this topic already.

[4:25] Susan Blackwell: When I set about to write The Spark, very, very sparked by the spark, and I was like, easy peasy.

[4:34] Susan Blackwell: But the topic of community is like an onion.

[4:38] Laura Camien: Oh, it's huge.

[4:39] Susan Blackwell: It just keeps peeling and peeling and peeling.

[4:43] Susan Blackwell: And I could approach it in so many ways.

[4:46] Susan Blackwell: There are so many layers to it.

[4:47] Laura Camien: I'm here for it.

[4:51] Susan Blackwell: As you may already know, back in 2023, the Surgeon General of the United States, Vivek Murphy, issued an 82 page paper entitled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, the U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.

[5:12] Laura Camien: Wow.

[5:12] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[5:13] Susan Blackwell: 82 pages.

[5:14] Susan Blackwell: And I've I have that PDF up, and I'm working through it.

[5:18] Susan Blackwell: It's very, very interesting.

[5:21] Susan Blackwell: It's got some good infographics.

[5:24] Susan Blackwell: Great work, Office of the Surgeon General.

[5:26] Susan Blackwell: So in the paper, Murphy shared that about one in two adults, that's 50% in America reported experiencing loneliness.

[5:37] Susan Blackwell: And this is based on research before COVID.

[5:41] Susan Blackwell: So before the pandemic cut off so many of us from friends and loved ones and support systems, which of course exacerbated loneliness and isolation.

[5:49] Laura Camien: Oh wow.

[5:49] Susan Blackwell: So I don't, I'm not sure where those numbers are now.

[5:53] Susan Blackwell: But Murphy continues loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling.

[5:58] Susan Blackwell: It harms both individual and societal health.

[6:01] Susan Blackwell: It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death.

[6:10] Susan Blackwell: The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.

[6:25] Laura Camien: This is loneliness.

[6:27] Susan Blackwell: Loneliness and isolation.

[6:30] Laura Camien: Oh, wow.

[6:32] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[6:33] Susan Blackwell: But I have to say, these words ring true to me.

[6:38] Susan Blackwell: And I love that they have their research to back this up.

[6:42] Susan Blackwell: And also just anecdotally, and in my body, I'm like, yeah, that sounds right.

[6:42] Laura Camien: That sounds right.

[6:48] Susan Blackwell: So there are a couple reasons that I want to talk about this on a creativity podcast.

[6:56] Susan Blackwell: Some forms of creativity have community built into them.

[7:00] Susan Blackwell: For instance, theater, filmmaking.

[7:05] Susan Blackwell: But those communities can end when that show or that shoot ends.

[7:10] Susan Blackwell: And that's a special kind of heartbreak that we many of us have experienced.

[7:16] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[7:16] Susan Blackwell: Some forms of creativity have isolation built into them.

[7:20] Susan Blackwell: So we're looking at our writers, our painters, our Andy Berkeys, our solo crafts people who are out there making their work.

[7:29] Laura Camien: Yes.

[7:30] Susan Blackwell: Additionally, creatives are special people.

[7:36] Susan Blackwell: I think to really thrive, creatives require communities that understand them and know how to support them.

[7:44] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[7:44] Susan Blackwell: I I've talked about this with you personally, Laura.

[7:49] Susan Blackwell: I don't know if I've ever talked about it on the podcast.

[7:52] Susan Blackwell: I honestly can't remember anymore, but I think about how lonely I was when I was growing up.

[7:58] Susan Blackwell: I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately.

[8:01] Susan Blackwell: It took me a really long time to begin discovering and connecting with like-hearted people who understood my passions and who could talk about creativity and art in an informed nuanced way.

[8:18] Laura Camien: Wow.

[8:18] Susan Blackwell: That shit is real.

[8:20] Laura Camien: That is real.

[8:21] Susan Blackwell: And I know that I'm not alone.

[8:23] Susan Blackwell: If you don't live in, you know, Los Angeles or New York or Chicago or any sort of community that has a cultural heartbeat, you can feel really, really isolated and not completely understood.

[8:39] Laura Camien: 100%.

[8:40] Susan Blackwell: Did you feel that way when you were uh growing up in Kansas?

[8:44] Laura Camien: Oh, Suze, I had a different kind of loneliness, I think, because I um well documented on this podcast.

[8:53] Laura Camien: I had like uh out of out of um survival mode, I had developed a like a persona that was always happy and um I was always surrounded by people who who um were just like, Oh, you what problems do you have?

[9:11] Laura Camien: Like you couldn't possibly have any.

[9:13] Susan Blackwell: Correct.

[9:13] Laura Camien: And I had the different but uh still very lonely feeling of like being in a crowd and just being completely alone.

[9:22] Laura Camien: Like, and if I if I had revealed my actual self to people that they wouldn't like me.

[9:28] Susan Blackwell: Got it.

[9:28] Laura Camien: So I had to, you know, maintain this person that they did like.

[9:34] Laura Camien: In order to stay safe and part of the tribe and correct.

[9:38] Susan Blackwell: Uh-huh.

[9:38] Laura Camien: Correct, yeah.

[9:39] Susan Blackwell: That makes so much sense to me.

[9:42] Susan Blackwell: I know that we have commiserated with so many people about the ache and the longing that they experience when their families, their parents, their siblings, their neighbors, their work colleagues don't fully understand their creativity.

[9:58] Susan Blackwell: They don't understand what they make, they don't understand what drives them or how to talk about creativity and art in informed, nuanced ways.

[10:09] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[10:09] Susan Blackwell: Even well-meaning, supportive family and friends and colleagues can stumble in the theater.

[10:16] Laura Camien: There's a cliche.

[10:17] Susan Blackwell: Uh, if you have a non-creative person in your life and they come and you, you know, you leave it all on the dance floor, and they're like, Wow, how did you learn all those lines?

[10:29] Laura Camien: And that's the that's their total response.

[10:32] Susan Blackwell: Oh, that's the extent of the yeah, the depth of the conversation.

[10:38] Laura Camien: I was just having this conversation with a friend the other day, Susan, and they were, you know, they were like, I know my family loves me, but you know, we don't really talk about anything that I do and or how I do it.

[10:53] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[10:53] Laura Camien: And I and that's exactly the thing that struck me is how often people they don't even they don't know what they don't know, and it maybe makes them uncomfortable because they don't even know what to ask or how to get into it.

[11:05] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[11:05] Laura Camien: Like if I was talking to a, you know, I don't know, a rocket scientist or something, I'd be like, Well, those go real high in the air, don't they?

[11:14] Susan Blackwell: They go so fast too.

[11:17] Laura Camien: Wow, how'd you do that?

[11:20] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[11:21] Laura Camien: Yeah, I don't know.

[11:22] Susan Blackwell: But it is there's a disconnect there instead of like the ability to just say, I I don't know anything about what you do.

[11:30] Laura Camien: I find it fascinating.

[11:32] Susan Blackwell: Uh, you know, and and what questions might actually engage a real conversation.

[11:37] Laura Camien: I think that curiosity that you're describing, even though you may not be an expert in the field of the person you're talking with, goes so far.

[11:47] Susan Blackwell: That that curiosity.

[11:49] Laura Camien: But some people don't don't even know how to be curious.

[11:52] Susan Blackwell: They don't have it.

[11:53] Laura Camien: I don't have it.

[11:54] Susan Blackwell: But if I may, a couple like a go-to would simply be like, tell me what you love about being a rocket scientist.

[11:54] Laura Camien: Yes.

[11:54] Susan Blackwell: Tell me what you love about what you do.

[12:03] Laura Camien: Tell me what gets you out of bed in the morning.

[12:05] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[12:06] Laura Camien: Tell me how do you know that was gonna be your life's purpose?

[12:09] Susan Blackwell: I think that Brad Montague has talked about when he was sat at a dinner party next to Sonia Sotomayor on the school of Supreme Court fame.

[12:20] Laura Camien: Oh wow.

[12:20] Susan Blackwell: And what she asked him was, Tell me what you love about what you do.

[12:25] Laura Camien: What a great curious question.

[12:29] Susan Blackwell: It works in any situation.

[12:32] Laura Camien: Always in style.

[12:33] Susan Blackwell: So back to community.

[12:35] Susan Blackwell: I also wanted to talk about community on a creativity podcast because we define creativity, the spark file, as applied imagination that fights for the powers of good.

[12:46] Susan Blackwell: And in my book, community feels like one of the most important things that we could flow our creative attention into.

[12:56] Laura Camien: Yes.

[12:56] Susan Blackwell: Who better than creatives to build community?

[13:00] Susan Blackwell: We've got lots of good ideas, we've got lots of problem solving skills.

[13:05] Susan Blackwell: And I I'm just like, get give us this challenge of creating community.

[13:12] Laura Camien: Yes, because also it's a a group of empaths, a group of highly sensitive people, a group of people who not only can imagine walking in someone else's shoes, but want to know more about it.

[13:25] Susan Blackwell: You know, they're curious, and um and not afraid of differences.

[13:31] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[13:32] Susan Blackwell: In fact, embrace like how exciting someone enters the group that is different and has a different perspective or different life experience, how fascinating.

[13:43] Laura Camien: Please tell us more.

[13:45] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[13:45] Susan Blackwell: So I I was like, well, if community is so good for us, what is the problem?

[13:51] Susan Blackwell: Why not just be in strong communities?

[13:54] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[13:54] Susan Blackwell: But as we all know, it turns out Vivek Murphy was right to send up the bat signal because there are so many barriers to community.

[14:04] Laura Camien: There are so many factors that inform community, macro and micro, a few of which include like if you have a chronic disease or impairments or any challenges to your mental and physical health that can make cultivating community more challenging.

[14:21] Susan Blackwell: There's all sorts of things baked into our lived experience race, gender, life stage, socioeconomic status, personality, household size.

[14:31] Laura Camien: Then there are things like available community space, available transportation, societal norms and values, levels of civic engagement, historical inequities, public policies, and I don't think it's conspiracy theory at this point that capitalists are motivated to keep us separated, to keep us staring at screens.

[14:53] Susan Blackwell: Oh, yeah.

[14:53] Laura Camien: So there's so many potential barriers to cultivating community, which I just want to, I just want to acknowledge that because the struggle is real, but I still say it really behooves us to cultivate community for our own health, for our well-being, so that we are supported, and also so we can provide support to others.

[15:20] Susan Blackwell: It's so so good for us.

[15:22] Laura Camien: It can be challenging, but it can also be so fun and so satisfying.

[15:28] Susan Blackwell: And as you pointed out, like truly a benefit to our physical health.

[15:32] Laura Camien: Truly physical health, mental health. This is reminding me, Susan, of the spark that I did about um Robert Putnam's book Bowling Alone.

[15:43] Susan Blackwell: Laura, yes.

[15:45] Laura Camien: As I was writing this, I totally checked in with it that I believe that episode. I didn't go back and look, but I think it's called Join the Joiners.

[15:53] Susan Blackwell: Oh, it is join the joiners.

[15:54] Laura Camien: Yes. So much of what I was uh reading in this 82-page paper that Vivek Murphy and his team put together.

[16:03] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[16:04] Laura Camien: Is about where we have come from historically.

[16:07] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[16:07] Laura Camien: And what factors have sort of deteriorated community. And I thought so much about your Spark Join the Joiners and how historically people were more inclined to be in community with each other.

[16:24] Susan Blackwell: And it's only it's only gotten harder.

[16:26] Laura Camien: So many ways. And he saw the pattern happening. But from 4-H clubs to the Optimist, the Rotary Clubs, quilting clubs, card games, you know, everything over time deteriorated really in the back half of the 20th century.

[16:46] Susan Blackwell: Speaking of technology, yeah, I did see this TikTok that I was really intrigued by on this topic.

[16:56] Laura Camien: It was made by a creator named Rachel Lovely.

[17:01] Susan Blackwell: Well, I I want that last name. What a wonderful name.

[17:03] Laura Camien: Rachel Lovely.

[17:04] Susan Blackwell: I don't know if it's her real last name, but it is a lovely last name.

[17:09] Laura Camien: She chose it. She chose wisely. I realized that I just made kind of a leap when I said speaking of technology, because in my mind, all of this is mixed up together.

[17:18] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[17:18] Laura Camien: The way technology has in some ways um connected us, in some ways divided us.

[17:26] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[17:26] Laura Camien: Um so I realized when I said that, I was like, boy, that sounded like such a weird seg. But in my mind, this is all intertwined with each other.

[17:35] Susan Blackwell: I was tracking.

[17:36] Laura Camien: Oh, thank you. Thank you all. So, Rachel Lovely on TikTok was talking about this new to me concept that was circulating the web maybe like mid last year.

[17:50] Laura Camien: This concept of everyone wants to have a village, but no one wants to be a villager.

[17:56] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[17:57] Laura Camien: Everyone wants to have a village, but no one wants to be a villager.

[18:01] Susan Blackwell: Wow.

[18:02] Laura Camien: And I started digging into what this meant to people. According to another social media account, Francesca Psychology, it means that people want a strong community for support, but they're not willing to put in the effort and sacrifice required to be a part of it.

[18:23] Susan Blackwell: Inconvenience, being annoyed, etc. is the price we pay for connection and community.

[18:30] Laura Camien: Oh can mean sharing space when it's inconvenient, showing up when you'd rather not. I think that's huge.

[18:36] Susan Blackwell: It's huge.

[18:37] Laura Camien: Hosting when you're tired. Francesca goes on to say, somewhere along the way, our fear of discomfort, our intolerance of inconvenience have turned into hyper independence.

[18:49] Susan Blackwell: Oh God.

[18:51] Laura Camien: Strict boundaries, perfect routines, and no interruptions. And I know this feeling. Like I, you know, we work so hard. We work and we work and we work and we grind and we grind and we grind.

[19:03] Susan Blackwell: And then I'm just like, I don't want to schedule additional, like I don't want social commitments or things on my calendar.

[19:11] Laura Camien: And yet, like when I think about some of the most like there's there's a mug that a friend gave me that was like, I wish you lived next door.

[19:19] Susan Blackwell: Oh and I've always wanted to like give that to you too, Susan.

[19:24] Laura Camien: I love that. You know, and and there's a few other friends, and I I thought about it because deep thoughts over a coffee mug. Um, but some of the happiest times in my life and times when it felt like community was built naturally.

[19:43] Susan Blackwell: It's like in a dorm in a uh in a situation where if you're if you're like me and you're like always on site working on blue man and we're all in a in the same hotel for three months at a time, and you're like, I'm in room such and such, and you're you know, like yes, we're right there in proximity, and so like the I'm gonna run over in my pajamas and I will be if you're crying, I will be there. Tell me what happened.

[20:10] Laura Camien: Um those things just don't happen so much anymore. One of the things that I have on my list of things I would like to do before I'm gone, yeah, is I would like to create a essentially like um a neighborhood, yeah, you know, to live in close proximity to people that I care about.

[20:39] Susan Blackwell: Yes, let's walk over with some gingerbread, yeah.

[20:42] Laura Camien: Yes to that coffee mug. I don't know where they got that coffee mug, but yes.

[20:47] Susan Blackwell: So Rachel Lovely in this like very brief, but I thought very potent TikTok shared everything that she learned about being a villager from a great community builder, her mother.

[21:00] Laura Camien: Oh and according to Rachel Lovely, her mom doesn't just build villages. She builds bustling metropolises.

[21:10] Susan Blackwell: She's building seven-lane highways, but what does that look like? Apparently, Rachel's mom, who I will refer to as Mrs. Lovely, will pick up your adult child from the airport and drop the child off at your home because Mrs. Lovely knows it will genuinely make your life easier.

[21:29] Laura Camien: But underline, she's not keeping score. She just genuinely cares about making somebody else's life easier.

[21:37] Susan Blackwell: When you make a friend who doesn't keep score, you keep that friend.

[21:37] Laura Camien: Keep that friend.

[21:42] Susan Blackwell: Keep that friend.

[21:43] Laura Camien: Yeah. That's such a gift. Like, no, no, no, no. Not doing this for reciprocation. Doing this because I want to do this.

[21:52] Susan Blackwell: And I know it it is something that could be useful to you.

[21:55] Laura Camien: It's such a gift.

[21:57] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, I agree.

[21:58] Laura Camien: Wow, Mrs. Lovely is living up to her name.

[22:07] Susan Blackwell: And she doesn't develop conspiracy theories about the people in her life.

[22:11] Laura Camien: In the Spark File, we would call this assuming the best of yourself and others.

[22:16] Susan Blackwell: And it is, as I believe we've talked about on the podcast, it's actually in the Sparkfile community guidelines.

[22:26] Laura Camien: Mrs. Lovely assumes it will all even out eventually, and that others would do the same for her.

[22:33] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[22:34] Laura Camien: And I bet you they do when she needs it.

[22:36] Susan Blackwell: I bet people line up to be like, How can I help?

[22:40] Laura Camien: Oh, yeah. Okay, we're gonna hear about it. You know, an element of this that was super interesting to me.

[22:47] Susan Blackwell: Rachel Lovely shares that once you've built an amazing village for yourself, you may not need Uber, Instant Cart, Amazon, or you may need them much less.

[22:59] Laura Camien: Rachel was talking about, you know, she's an adult. When she goes, I'm talking like she's my parasocial friend, I don't know. But she's talking about how when she goes home for the holidays, there's a steady stream of people ringing the doorbell to drop off things that they are lending, a crock pot for the holiday party, the brown sugar that you need for something that you're making.

[23:20] Susan Blackwell: But it totally makes sense. If you rely more on borrowing and lending, it cuts way down on buying shit that you're only going to use once a year.

[23:29] Laura Camien: It's an exchange of goods instead of a purchase of goods.

[23:33] Susan Blackwell: Do you remember like when I was growing up, we actually could go to the neighbors and say, I started making cookies and I don't have enough eggs.

[23:42] Laura Camien: Girl, yes.

[23:44] Susan Blackwell: And also, like we're still doing this now. I mean, I live to have a mentioned, I live a rural.

[23:52] Laura Camien: And my husband is actually great at this.

[23:55] Susan Blackwell: My husband is always like lending a tractor, borrowing a chainsaw.

[24:01] Laura Camien: Oh, wow. He's a good villager.

[24:03] Susan Blackwell: You know, I'm impressed by that because here in the city, I have to say, I have friends, you know, and and acquaintances and stuff around the area.

[24:15] Laura Camien: But here in my building, yeah, I don't think there's a single door that I would knock on to be like, do you have two eggs I could borrow?

[24:25] Susan Blackwell: It's worth it's worth thinking about.

[24:26] Laura Camien: It's just worth thinking about. I love it.

[24:28] Susan Blackwell: No, I I really love it. It's very inspiring.

[24:31] Laura Camien: I've been very inspired by Nathan. He pitches in, like he puts in, he puts in the reps.

[24:38] Susan Blackwell: If you need help stacking wood or moving furniture or building a deck or building a website, my husband really does show up.

[24:46] Laura Camien: That Nathan.

[24:47] Susan Blackwell: But it's not, it's not a one-way street.

[24:49] Laura Camien: Like he he asks for help too, which is an important part of this equation.

[24:54] Susan Blackwell: A few months back, I it was a Friday. I remember clearly it was a Friday because I was trying to get to the doctors on a Friday morning, and in a storm, a tree had fallen across our driveway.

[25:05] Laura Camien: Oh my gosh.

[25:05] Susan Blackwell: Nathan was not at home, so I could not get out. And I couldn't, I tried to figure out how I could on my own move the tree.

[25:16] Laura Camien: With what, like with a tractor or what were you thinking you would move the tree with?

[25:21] Susan Blackwell: It wasn't a huge tree. And I was like, could I lift it? But the closer I got to it, I was like, this tree's bigger than it looks.

[25:29] Laura Camien: I drove the car back up to the back up to the house, and without asking for help, one of our neighbors saw what had happened, and before I knew it, I had received a video of the neighbor getting out of his car to move the tree from my driveway.

[25:45] Susan Blackwell: Clearly, he was stronger and more expert at tree removal.

[25:49] Laura Camien: I was gonna say, how did he move it?

[25:51] Susan Blackwell: He picked it up by the tip and basically levered it. So he just like picked it up and wasn't holding the full weight of it.

[26:00] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[26:01] Susan Blackwell: Moved it out of the way of the driveway.

[26:04] Laura Camien: Wow.

[26:05] Susan Blackwell: I knew instantly the reason why that tree got moved without even having to ask is because of all the pitching in that Nathan had done.

[26:14] Laura Camien: He's such a beautiful soul.

[26:16] Susan Blackwell: He's a lovely guy something. So Rachel Lovely says the first step in creating an effective village is realizing that you actually need other people.

[26:27] Laura Camien: Again, the hyper independence and always trying to figure it out all by yourself.

[26:32] Susan Blackwell: I'm I'm as I'm reading those words, I'm very seen, I'm very cultivated. But that hyper independence is detrimental to creating community.

[26:42] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[26:42] Susan Blackwell: And Rachel Lovely feels that one of the key steps in creating community is asking for assistance.

[26:49] Laura Camien: And she describes it as sitting humbly at the feet of the village and asking for the help you need.

[26:56] Susan Blackwell: Wow. It's not always about being the one who provides the ride from the airport or being the one who provides the brown sugar.

[27:04] Laura Camien: It's also about humbly asking for help from others.

[27:07] Susan Blackwell: This is so rough for me. And you know this from working with me. I'm just like, yes, I would rather do it than be like, can somebody do this?

[27:18] Laura Camien: But it is vulnerable to ask for help.

[27:21] Susan Blackwell: Yes. I think that when we say to ourselves, like, I want to be a part of this community, but I also want to be someone who doesn't need anything from anyone because I don't, I don't like I don't want to need some, but I'm happy to contribute, but I'm not gonna need anything.

[27:37] Laura Camien: It it's a form of making sure that we don't show up in a vulnerable way.

[27:42] Susan Blackwell: I think it's further complicated though when other the people in the village, when if I'm looking at you or I'm looking in in the face of our beautiful team captain Kevin Weibold, and I'm like these folks are as stretched thin as I am.

[27:55] Laura Camien: Or if I look at Nathan and I'm like, you can just I could just tell, and like he's already like up to his eyeballs, then I feel like it's doubly challenging to be like to ask someone, can you pause what you're doing and help me?

[28:10] Laura Camien: So that's something I need to do. It doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good. I try to remember that too when I'm on the receiving end of a request for help. Because there's certain friends of mine that I know it's particularly hard for. So for them to have gotten to the place where they are saying, "Yeah, I could use it if you would check in on me." Yes. And I'm like, that took a lot to ask.

[28:43] Susan Blackwell: That's a great point, Laura Camien. And even when you said that, I was like, "God, I don't know how I would bring myself to say those words." And I'm like, "Susan, you better you gotta strengthen this muscle. You gotta strengthen that muscle, girl." So Rachel also talked about one of the reasons that she, Rachel, was having the experience of such a strong village is because in addition to having her mother's villager blood running through her, when she, this is germane to what we're talking about. When she is going through tough times like a breakup or a layoff or whatever, those are the times when you have to call upon the village to ask for help and receive help. And for me, sometimes the amnesia that I experience, I know that when I am growing through it, I will completely have amnesia that it's even an option to ask for help.

I withdraw into myself. And I was just thinking, wow, it's really to ask yourself to build community when you're struggling is one of those things. It's like build it when you feel fit because you're gonna want to call upon it when you're in the struggle. So yeah, that's a that's very, very wise advice.

[30:10] Laura Camien: I think one of the biggest challenges that Rachel lovely talked about when it comes to cultivating community is you have to show up and be in the mix to be a part of the village. The village is not happening in isolation. You have to be willing to show up and be in the mix. Susan, you recently did a spark on The Alchemist, and you said almost identical words like you have to show up for your life to live.

[30:43] Susan Blackwell: Yes, life attracts life.

[30:45] Laura Camien: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So what are some steps we can take to consciously build healthy community? I just want to share just a few ideas that sparked me. There is an anti-capitalist creator that I loved named Laura Uldani. And Laura talks about building community by hosting simple pop-up gatherings in your front yard. If you're in a place where you have a front yard. But I've also heard people talk about on the stoop, stoop nearby public park. She puts out some snacks and a sign like that there's going to be coffee time on Sunday between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. neighborhood coffee time. Wow. A few tables, some snacks, asks people to bring their own chairs and mugs. And even started setting up a swap table where people could bring items that they no longer needed.

And if they wanted, they could drop off items. They could take items for free. This is amazing. I just thought that was so lovely. And I immediately was like, how could I do this even in my super duper remote rural environment? Wow. Could I do it at the public library? Yes. You know what I mean?

[32:02] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. There's another creator named Johnjohn.jpeg, I think, who hosts something called Popsicles on the Porch for people in his neighborhood in Chattanooga, Tennessee. He said it was really tough because he's an introvert, but he wanted this for his family. He's got kids and he wanted to be able to cultivate, you know, community for his kids. So he put up a sign and handed out some flyers for a Thursday evening, popsicles on the porch, no need to make an elaborate meal, no need to even clean the living room. People would wander by, or you know, they were walking their dogs or they'd be on their bikes, and they could have a popsicle, they could have a glass of water, they could chat, they could connect, the kids could draw on the sidewalk with chalk.

[32:57] Laura Camien: Love that.

[32:58] Susan Blackwell: And I was just like, what a great idea. And I love that he acknowledged the challenge of like I am also an introvert, and I'm just like, "Oh God, the thought of this is daunting." But like, how easy could it be? How easy could it be? And that that is genius right there.

[33:17] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[33:18] Susan Blackwell: For me, I'm like, okay, yes, hosting something has its intimidation factor. But at the same time, I'm like getting me to leave the house to go to something, even something I want to go to that I have planned all week to go to when the moment comes, it is still a 50-50 shot.

[33:36] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[33:38] Susan Blackwell: And so when you host it, you're like, "Well, I'm not going anywhere. It has to happen. I'm just here."

[33:44] Laura Camien: Exactly. We've done whole pieces of curriculum on consciously finding, building, cultivating, creative community. And we really encourage people to examine what they're seeking.

[33:57] Susan Blackwell: That's right.

[33:58] Laura Camien: And then go for it. We have done, Laura, I feel like you and I have done years of research so we could articulate for ourselves what is meaningful when it comes to community.

[34:11] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[34:11] Laura Camien: And we have really discovered and clarified what we are seeking. Namely, emotionally intelligent creatives of all kinds who are ready to cultivate a consistent creative practice and expand their network so we can stay inspired, make huge creative strides, and enjoy the most creative years of our lives. Like we really took time to study on that and articulate it.

[34:41] Susan Blackwell: Yes, we did. And to develop the kind of agreement that if you would like to be a part of this community, what agreement are we making to each other and how we promise to behave towards each other? Because I think that's really essential. And for people to understand, like this is or isn't going to be a group where we bond over talking about someone else.

[35:07] Laura Camien: Yes.

[35:08] Susan Blackwell: At the Spark File, that is not how we bond. We will bond in so many other positive ways, but it is very clear from the start. We're not going to be bonding by tearing someone down.

[35:19] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[35:19] Susan Blackwell: That is a for a way to bond, but not here.

[35:22] Laura Camien: Yeah. I'm really proud that we have gone, we have gone so far as to create the Sparkfile creative community. You don't even have to leave your house, but it's still so rich. It's so fun. It's nutritious, but it is also delicious. And it is an online community made up of fantastic artists from all different disciplines. So there's zero competition. And they're from all over the place. So you really do expand your world. And in addition to a very healthy online social platform where there's no algorithms, there's no bots, there's no bull crap, we have these live on Zoom creativity meetups.

[36:10] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Do you want to work out loud? Do you want to work in a quiet library-like atmosphere where you're benefiting from the body doubling where you're working separately but in the same space? And it's just this beautiful, ever-growing, ever-evolving community that is also responsive to the needs of the community. So noticing what do people need? What do they really want? And being able to say, "Give me a few days. Let me see if we can put that in place." So if that sounds interesting to you, and if you want to learn more about it, you can visit thesparkfile.com/community. And if yeah, if you're an emotionally intelligent creative who wants to cultivate a consistent creative practice and expand your network and stay inspired and make huge creative strides and live the most creative years of your lives, this might be a community for you. It just might.

[36:48] Laura Camien: Yeah, if you like all those things we do. Susan, is there anything else you would add about the Sparkfile creative community? You know, we mentioned this before in the podcast episode called The Alchemist. It's a group of people who are curious and are alive with possibility and recognize in each other the vulnerability necessary to create. So we are constantly celebrating each other in a way that is like, "Yes, you! I saw you overcome that vulnerability. I saw you overcome that fear. I saw you feel the feelings of failure and work through it and keep going." And I don't know of any other group like it, honestly, and to me, I can't think of any other way I want to live.

[38:12] Laura Camien: These artists, their bread and butter is being kind.

[38:12] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, and they can really have those nuanced conversations about creativity and art. And you know what else I was thinking this morning? I know that some artists really like their bread and butter is being cool.

[38:12] Susan Blackwell: Oh my god, kind. And also, sorry, but in my, it took me a while in my life to learn this, but being authentic is the coolest thing you can be in this world, and this group of people is the fucking coolest.

[38:12] Laura Camien: The fucking coolest.

[38:35] Susan Blackwell: They're everybody's goal. And we've said this before for anybody who's like, "Oh, they're here because you know, they know Susan's work or they know my work or something." This is so not about becoming more of, you know, your mentor or being more like someone. This is all about becoming more of who you are.

[39:00] Laura Camien: Yes.

[39:00] Susan Blackwell: That's what it's all about.

[39:03] Laura Camien: That's what I'd add. I love this spark, Susan. Let me close this spark with Vivek Murti. He wrote in his 82-page paper on our epidemic of loneliness, "Each of us can start now in our own lives by strengthening our connections and relationships. Our individual relationships are an untapped resource, a source of healing, hiding in plain sight. They can help us live healthier, more productive, and more fulfilled lives. Answer that phone call from a friend. Make time to share a meal. Listen without the distraction of your phone. Perform an act of service. Express yourself authentically. The keys to human connection are simple but extraordinarily powerful." So that is my spark. It's all about community, baby.

[40:05] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[40:05] Susan Blackwell: I'm doing priorities.

[40:07] Laura Camien: Nice.

[40:08] Susan Blackwell: I just made that up, but it really is. I have some really key priorities and community, cultivating community. Hey, number one. It's up there, man. It's so important. It's so important.

[40:19] Laura Camien: I love this too, Susan. I think I've made it clear how I feel about it.

[40:22] Susan Blackwell: All right, that's it. This episode of The Spark File was banned on the lands of the Lenape and the Mohican people. And as always, we hope it put another bunch of sparks in your file. Listen to me. If there's a spark that you would like us to explore, or if you'd like to learn more about how to coach with us to accomplish your creative goals, you can email getcreative@thesparkfile.com or reach us through our website, thesparkfile.com. You know, we will even happily take your feedback, but there is a price of admission. First, you have to share a creative risk that you've taken recently. You can follow us on social at The Spark File and be sure to subscribe, rate, and five-star review this podcast. It really helps other listeners to find us. Also, if you liked this podcast, we hope you'll share it with people that you love. And if you didn't like it, choose a different community. Just that simple.

[40:56] Laura Camien: Thank you.

[40:56] Susan Blackwell: And I'm telling you, 2026, I've got some. They're not, I'm not doing what do they call them? Resolutions.

[41:27] Susan Blackwell: You know, you gotta take it and make it when I bump into something that inspires me. I dump it in the spark files. Could be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be. I'll pump it in the spark files. I jump into my spark files. Spark files. Let's open up the spark files.