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[0:00] Alan Seales: Welcome to The Theatre Podcast. Intimate, personal conversations with the industry's biggest names. I'm your host, Alan Seales, and our guest today is none other than Eva Noblezada, who is currently starring as Eurydice in Hadestown on Broadway. She was shot out of a cannon at age 17, after being one of the finalists in the Jimmy Awards, and then was flown across the ocean to star as the lead in the first-ever revival of Miss Saigon when she was 18. She was in a country where everything is legal at the age of 18, with a huge paycheck from being a lead on the West End, and thrust into the spotlight, and became an instant celebrity. And it just took a number on her, and now after some self-reflection, she has figured out who she wants to be, isn't afraid to accept who she is in the moment, and we just had a very real, authentic conversation.

Eva, thank you so much for being truthful. And we cover a bunch of things, including her own journey through therapy and eating disorders, so a little bit of a trigger warning, we do talk about bulimia as well. So, be careful for that. Find me online, Instagram and Twitter, at Theatre Underscore Podcast. Share this podcast with a friend, you know? Help it grow, help the word get out, help spread these amazing stories. Find me online at bpn.fm slash ttp. And now, everybody, please enjoy this episode with Eva Noblezada. Here you go, one, two, three.

[1:30] Alan Seales: Today's guest is a two-time Tony Award nominee, Grammy Award winner, What's On Stage Award winner, and Jimmy Award winner, and she's only 25. After winning the Jimmy Awards in 2013, she began her professional theatrical career, first in London in Les Mis before starring as the friggin' lead at age 17, by the way, in the first ever revival of Miss Saigon. Among many notable performances, she's also starred in the film Yellow Rose and can now be seen way underground in Hadestown as Eurydice on Broadway. Eva Noblezada, welcome to The Theatre Podcast.

[2:07] Eva Noblezada: Thank you for having me, Theatre Podcast, and Alan.

[2:11] Alan Seales: Well, I actually said you're 25 in the intro there, but by the time this airs, you're going to be 26.

[2:18] Eva Noblezada: I'll be 26. And also, fun fact, I didn't actually win the Jimmy Awards.

[2:22] Alan Seales: What, you didn't?

[2:23] Eva Noblezada: No, Sarah Lynn Larian won the Jimmy Awards.

[2:27] Alan Seales: Then what's on, then Wikipedia just—

[2:29] Eva Noblezada: Oh, you can't trust Wikipedia. People go on there and say stuff all the time. Did you see what they put for Julia Fox's Wikipedia page?

[2:36] Alan Seales: No.

[2:37] Eva Noblezada: They put that she is, what, Josh Safdie is new for Uncut Gems. Have you seen that going around? Yeah, people, yeah, Wikipedia isn't always right. But yeah.

[2:49] Alan Seales: All right. All right, well, thank you for the correction. I'll go back and update Wikipedia here once it's all done.

[2:55] Eva Noblezada: That's great.

[2:56] Alan Seales: Cool, cool, cool. So yeah. God, you have done so much in such a short amount of time, and it kind of just shot you out of a cannon. I think that's probably, I mean, we'll get to all this stuff, but like, let's start back at the very beginning. And tell me about like, when you were growing up, were you always into performing? Were you into singing as a child?

[3:20] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, I always tell, make this joke that I came out of my mom singing, which is really gross if you think about it. But yeah, I think I always just had a desire to, not, I guess perform, but just like, be in something. Maybe that's why I have such FOMO as an adult. But I just like being a part of like, grand stories, or just like, the vibe of like people coming over to our house for dinner, like, you know, as growing up Filipino Mexican, like, always, there's people that family coming over for dinner, friends coming over for dinner. So that vibe of like, people and like, wanting to like, entertain and like, storytelling and fun, like I was like, that was like, crack for me as a child. And so really honed my addiction to like, entertaining, I guess. But yeah, I was always singing, for sure.

[4:16] Alan Seales: So then, I guess Filipino Mexican, that was the heritage, and you grew up in California?

[4:21] Eva Noblezada: Yes, born and raised in the 619.

[4:25] Alan Seales: I can trust that fact. Okay.

[4:27] Eva Noblezada: Yeah.

[4:28] Alan Seales: So, then California, and, and then you came to, what was it Northwest School of the Arts in Charlotte?

[4:36] Eva Noblezada: Yeah.

[4:37] Alan Seales: North Carolina?

[4:39] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, Charlotte, North Carolina. I love Bojangles. I love the mountains. And I love Northwest School of the Arts. That's what I'm talking about.

[4:49] Alan Seales: I'm from North Wilkesboro, originally, which I don't know if you know that.

[4:53] Eva Noblezada: I know that I, I never went off that exit. But I know that's like on the way to Greensboro, right?

[4:58] Alan Seales: Yeah, like if you're going north, up, up, yeah, I-77.

[5:02] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, I-77. That's what it is. Yes.

[5:08] Alan Seales: So yeah, you could either go, you could go west to Wilkesboro or east to Winston and Greensboro.

[5:14] Eva Noblezada: I see the freaking freeway sign in my head. I know exactly where that is. So great.

[5:19] Alan Seales: Yep. Bojangles, you are speaking to my soul right now, which, side note, I just read an article yesterday saying that they're going to do this big expansion up here and they're going to have four pieces in Jersey. Jersey.

[5:29] Eva Noblezada: Oh, that's still too far away.

[5:31] Alan Seales: Yeah, I'm going to get you. We're going to go because like every weekend I want this four-piece.

[5:36] Eva Noblezada: Dang it. Yeah, I'm, you know what I miss is the Bowberry Biscuits. I haven't had those in years. I used to get like two at a time and just like, yeah, that was the best life.

[5:47] Alan Seales: Sweet, sweet tea. I, in college, I went to NC State in college, my roommates, my suitemates and I, we would go to Bojangles probably eight times a week to eat.

[5:57] Eva Noblezada: Well, you know, you got to do what you got to do.

[6:00] Alan Seales: Right.

[6:01] Eva Noblezada: To survive and it makes you happy. So live your life.

[6:03] Alan Seales: Oh God, speak, it's fucking happy, dude. I, that place, I am, I am so obsessed with that place and we could spend the next hour talking about Bojangles.

[6:12] Eva Noblezada: But we won't. So then going back to you, Miss Four-Piece Supreme Dinner. So then at what point did you realize that, that you wanted to make performing a career? Because a lot of people, you know, like attention and they like to, to, there's a validation in being on stage and, and telling stories or whatever the case is. But then at what point were you like, you know what, I'm going to audition for, for this school and go all the way across the country in high school, which by the way, seems kind of insane.

[6:44] Eva Noblezada: Yeah. Ridiculous. We moved when I was like eight or nine to Charlotte and we moved to Morrisville first and I hadn't actually, I wanted to be an opera singer first cause it was the first sort of theater that involved singing that I was like introduced to. Um, it didn't even cross my mind to like have a career in just singing cause I just loved entertaining and I loved, I tried to build a fricking stage when I was like five years old in my papa's backyard, had like a hammer and nails and I was like in like, you know, very unsupervised as a kid, which kind of was awesome. But anyway, um, but yeah, I, it wasn't until I met, I was reconnected with my auntie Annette who was actually, uh, in Sesame Street.

She was in one of the casts of Miss Saigon on Broadway. Uh, she really was first person, truly introduced me musical theater. And then once that snowball started rolling down the hill, I realized my dad had a fricking bachelor's degree as a music teacher. He plays saxophone. So he started to like, even when we were in San Diego, he would like sit me by the piano and we would do our arpeggios and do, um, like all of our warmups and stuff. And so musical theater wasn't introduced to me until I was like 10. And then the Northwest School of the Arts is actually a middle school high school, which is even better. Um, so it's a way bigger group of, of, of ages. And so I auditioned and got in and I started going there when I was in sixth grade.

[8:10] Alan Seales: The sixth, seventh, eighth grade years. I mean, being a teenager alone is bad enough, but then you throw in all of the, the competitiveness and the uncertainty and anxiety around the performing arts as well. So my God, right. How, I guess you're, you're going to middle school and most people's normal does not involve the anxiety of where am I going to get my next job? Where am I going to get my next performing, uh, attribution from, right? So then all of a sudden you're thrust into this world. Like was, did your normal shift at that point or did you know it was sort of out of the ordinary?

[8:54] Eva Noblezada: I did only because my parents were so young. They really wanted me to go for a career that was like financially set. Like it's always a joke in the Filipino world. Like you have to become a doctor or a nurse or a lawyer or a real estate agent. You know, it's the joke because like that is a job that is known for getting you a very fixed and great income. But I just was really fucking bored. I was like, why the fuck would I want to be a doctor if I have no desire to go to medical school? And I did think about these things at a young age because like people were always talking about it. And like, what sucks about the education system is that it's so set for you. Uh, and it doesn't actually ask you questions of like, what would you like to do?

What would you like to pursue? You can make money off that. And this is how you can do that. It's very much like you have to go to college, you have to do this and then you get a job because you graduate college and you have a degree that gets you a job. And I started seeing it from early age. I was like, Oh, but it doesn't like you get a BFA in musical theater that doesn't actually prompt you. You're not promised a job once you graduate college, even though you went through all those years of school. So I don't know. I just, uh, I always knew that I was going to do it. So I guess I was extremely naive, but also really passionate and I'm a really hard fucking worker. So that kind of, uh, crazy concoction just gave me a lot of confidence going in to be like, if, if I get rejection, that's fine. It doesn't take away from my talent. I just keep working and keep trying to get to where I want to be.

[10:32] Alan Seales: Really at that young age, like you still have the will to be like, oh my God, it is cool. If you had met my dad, if you met my dad, you'd be like, Oh yeah, no wonder. Because I did a lot of sports actually before I got into musical theater, it took years to truly convince my parents, like, let me fully do theater. Let me fully sing. Cause I did basketball. I did paintball. I did BMX. I did volleyball. I did all the sports you can imagine. My dad was like, we wanted a boy athlete. Uh, and you came first, God damn it. But, uh, yeah, I did all the sports. And in those sports too, I was like, I was a beast at those sports, even in basketball, even though I'm like five foot, well, I'll lie. I'm five foot four.

Uh, but, uh, yeah, my dad always gave me the really just implanted that just disgustingly awesome work ethic. Like my brain was constantly like a Nike ad campaign, even in, and then I brought that, I brought that mindset into musical theater at a young age, which I thought I think gave me a really good headstart.

[11:36] Alan Seales: Yeah. Wow. I feel like there's a lot of kids, uh, I'm calling kids, right. Middle school and high school that just take everything so personally and gosh, not even kids, adults. Right. Yeah. And, and that's, that's one of the things that, um, I guess I've learned through almost 200 full episodes of this podcast. Now it's taken me this long to realize it right. That, that you have to embrace what makes you different and rejection doesn't mean you weren't good enough. You're like, the job was never yours. I think.

[12:13] Eva Noblezada: Nothing's promised to you. Nothing. It was Michael Urie, I think, that said it to me. It was like, why do you feel bad about not getting the job? The job was never yours. I love Michael Urie. Yeah, but it's kind of stupid that I had such confidence then and now I'm just like, such a fucking crybaby now about everything. Yeah, it's funny. Oh, oh god, we're gonna get to that. Life is, oh, mid-20s and Broadway life combined again. Another concoction that is just going to send people to therapy. I'm not a concoction. That's a full-on absinthe cocktail. That's just like XO. You're done. Dude, while you've got your job, you're still looking for your next job and more work because you just never know the anxiety around this lifestyle.

You never know, especially after the pandemic. And what really pisses me off is when people are like, so what are you doing next? I'm like, mother fucker, what do you mean what I'm doing next? I'm doing eight shows a week. Is that not enough for you? That really makes me laugh. I spend too much time thinking about what other people think and it makes sense because it's kind of a part of our industry. This is one of the few businesses where you have to be discriminated against based on height, gender, looks, hair color. So dumb. It's so stupid. And it's one of these things that combine the physical appearance along with the overwhelming draining aspect of eight shows a week. And I know you're pretty vocal about the eight show schedule.

[13:48] Alan Seales: I'm so vocal about the eight show schedule. You put a bottle of wine in any actor and they'll tell you the exact same fucking thing that I've been saying. It's sustainable if you want to be tired all the time. For me, I can't do any other projects that I want to because I'm very much all or nothing. I give my all to my job and there are other projects I want to do that I can't really half-ass them because I want to have my time and my whole body to just put myself for those projects. I would say the hardest thing is to continue a sense of gratitude that I do have a job. Because once you get into the grind of eight shows, it starts to kind of erode the fact that you do have a job and a fixed income.

And it's incredible. And I have to pinch myself and slap myself in the face and go, remember how lucky you are to have this job. Not to say that it's easy. It's extremely difficult. And my voice is always tired and my body's always tired. I still manage to go to work and slay. But I'm always tired in a good way. Yeah. I mean, it's emotionally exhausting when you are giving yourself. I mean, that's something I think that a lot of people don't realize when they're like, oh, yeah, you just go and you do a show and then you go home and you're fine. But actually, a muggle friend of mine the other day went to see.

[15:01] Eva Noblezada: I love that. No one's ever said that before. I love that you just said that. Oh, I'm going to borrow that from you. Yeah, yeah. A muggle friend, non-musical theater person. We were talking the other day and he was like, he's like, yeah, I went to go see Hamilton the other day for the second time. Really cool. Awesome. I'm going to ask you. So like I went to see a matinee, but there's another show that there's another cast that does the night show, right? Another cast as if another cast is two shows a week. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no, dude, no. And that's not the only day they do two shows a day. So you've got your Wednesday, usually your Wednesday two show day and your Saturday two show day.

And then if you're a Disney show, sometimes you got a Friday two show day. So and this blew his mind because he was he was like, wait, that's like almost a three hour show. They just get done and turned around and do it again. I said, well, yeah, well, literally Broadway, literally. Yeah, literally. That's what they're doing. And they have a 30 minute nap and they're back at it. So that seems like a really nice, nicely timed nap. Sometimes it's like set the alarm for seven minutes. That's your nap. Well, OK, so going back, God, I cannot wait to talk about this. OK, but going back to high school, 15, 16, 17 to 17 is Jimmy Awards. Right. And so then it was Cameron McIntosh that saw that performance.

It was Tara Rubin. That's what it was. I always say Tara for some reason. It's Tara Rubin who saw the performance and she was in the audience and it was, you know, the Jimmy's chooses six finalists to sing their solo song they've been working on the whole week during the National High School Music Theater Awards. And it just so happened that she was friends with my theater teacher from Northwest School of the Arts. And so after the performance, she came up to me and my teacher said, excuse me, do you have an agent? And I was like, I don't even know what that is. And so because you have to audition for Miss Saigon. And I was like, great. OK, like, OK. And so we set up the auditions and I worked with my auntie.

It was Monday, alternate Kim's and the Broadway cast. And then they called and said, OK, this is your time. And my dad drove me up. We had two auditions and then I'm sitting here with my job dropped because you're at a school for performing arts and you don't know what an agent is. I didn't really know. I thought I didn't know that it was like. I could get one, I thought, but I didn't understand, like, what the process was like getting a job. So we were really we were taught, like.

[18:02] Alan Seales: How to get a job and like. And I guess that was it and how to want a job, not like anything else. That's something that I would have been fixed when I I'm I'm a few years older than you. And when I I got a computer science degree and then was performing with that. Wow. So so there you go. But I had so many kids that I was performing with when I was a kid, like fresh out of high school and college and whatnot. And I they didn't know how to print a headshot or how to market them. They didn't realize that they were a product. They are their own product. Yeah. And they need to market themselves. It's so dangerous to not know. To give your power away at such a young age. Excuse me. This is why I don't drink coffee.

But you see, I'm going for a second sip. You see me mucus. But it's it's really dangerous. And I definitely think that it's I hope that theater education is different because social media like all anyone gives a shit about is branding yourself. And so I hope what they're focusing on now is substance as a product. You want a quality product, not someone who, you know, anyway. But, yeah, I don't remember ever getting taught what the steps were. So thankfully, I was like, yeah, we'll get we'll just I'll help you with this because she's a casting director, massive casting director. I'm just glad that it all was aligned. And actually, this picture was taken a week of the Jimmy Awards. That's me. I don't even look like myself.

[19:28] Eva Noblezada: Doesn't look like you at all. Doesn't look at all like catfishing myself. No, no one can see this picture except you. So that's why I wanted to share. We have a secret. But yeah, I love secrets. Do you think that just like you're not supposed to get drafted until you're 18 or have a drink in the U.S. until you're 21, that you shouldn't be given the lead in a Broadway show at 17 or a West End? So sorry, because, oh, my God, I get again going to you get you get the lead. You go out to London, make your West End debut, which is also only your second show. I think Cameron McIntosh like to to tell you so you could learn what the terms were. I put me in Les Mis put you in Les Mis for a few months.

Right. Just yeah, which is awesome. Right. But you're 17, freshly 18, which is in Europe, you can do anything when you're 18. Awesome. So dangerous for me. Right. Awesome. First time out of the country. Yeah. Out of the country, away from your parents in a professional troupe of debaucherous individuals. Yep. And welcome to the beginning of a great book. It's also also the name of my band, debaucherous individuals. I love that. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Which is also named my memoir, which is yeah, I digress. So you're out there and I guess did you have time at any point to stop and say, holy shit, what where am I right now? The answer is, you're shaking your head profusely. I'm if I could take my hat off and shake it with my hands, I would.

No, I didn't. I think the only time that I was like, well, this is so cool is when we opened in Miss Saigon. And that's the original question. I don't recommend anyone being doing anything if they don't. How do I say this? I think it depends on the person. I did not know who I was and I didn't care about taking care of myself. And if that's your mindset, good luck. I learned that the hard way. I only cared about my performance being absolutely perfect and looking the way that they expected me to look. And with all of that surface shit, I completely lost sight of who I was and what I actually why I was actually doing this in the first place. And so at that age, when you're going through all of these changes and you have so much responsibility and you're creating a new life for yourself, that was like the last thing I needed to fall under my feet.

It felt like the ground just completely left and I was falling for years. But the only stability I had was the show. So that began a really toxic relationship I had with doing the show and being perfect, whatever the fuck that word means.

[22:33] Alan Seales: Well, what did it mean to you then and what does it mean to you now? What's the difference? Of performing? Of being perfect? I think being perfect is stupid. I think the only time I say perfect is when I make fun of people's accents. That's the only time I say that word. But yeah, I think back then, because I thought that that was a thing, I lived in the world of the very dreamy, romantic view of an 18-year-old young woman living in her own world. And as a quintuple Pisces, I romanticize everything. I'll be like, oh my god, this moment. And in my head, I'll be like, I don't know, I'm just so stupid like that in the best way. So when I have no boundaries or structure in my life, I just like, it went, it was too much.

But yeah, that was crazy. And I think back then the word perfect meant something and it was like a goal. And now it's just like, I know it's total bullshit. And I guess if you want to say that anything could be perfect in life, it would be knowing who you are and being able to hold yourself when you need to. Coming back to the basics, coming back to the ground so that you can go and open your mind and expand your mind and expand who you are and let go of things. I just didn't understand that relationship you could have with self and how essential it was at a young age. Because I was so needed in so many ways by people who really didn't give a shit about my well-being. I thought, oh, that's great.

I'm needed. I'm validated. But actually, I realized like, oh, it's just, it's just, that's not exactly what it turns out to be. Well, there's therapy that has gotten, at my age now, has gotten me to see that.

[24:26] Eva Noblezada: I guess I understand that same sort of mindset, but when I was 17, 18, I was nowhere near any of that. And I think, too, that, yeah, I would have probably imploded and self-destructed because you think you're invincible. You really do.

[24:44] Alan Seales: Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so, at what point, then, did it start to go sort of internal for you? Because I was reading that you've been vocal about you used to have panic attacks on stage and battled with bulimia for a while.

[24:56] Eva Noblezada: Yeah. Do you really? You still have panic attacks?

[24:59] Alan Seales: Still have panic attacks on stage. It's not constant, but, you know, mine vary. My anxiety varies sometimes. Sometimes I feel like it's in control, and sometimes I'll be like, I can't breathe. Okay, don't worry about it. I'm fine. I'm having panic attacks. But I've learned how to hold them in, and I've learned how to be with my—come back to myself and go ask the important questions. Are we in danger? We're okay. You know, it's experience. It's just knowing yourself and knowing what works best for you. But, yeah, I'm always internal. I've always been internal my whole life. I feel very deeply, and sometimes it's hard for me to get out of that preface, you know. But I think that I have learned how to use that to my advantage, which means I don't have to look at that heavy feelingness as a downside or a negative thing.

But I've always been extremely vocal about the things that have not worked out for me and that have been against me in this industry because it's important for people to, one, not feel alone, and two, to remember that it's still a job. Just because you love it so much, it doesn't mean it's not going to hurt you or that there are things in it that can't hurt you because we're not invincible. We're extremely durable. I'm extremely durable, but I'm not invincible. And I think understanding that, I can look at my weaknesses and I can look at my strengths, and I could start to really build up who I am. And the more that I know who I am, the more confident I can be, no matter what the circumstance is, even if it's really fucking shitty.

[26:35] Alan Seales: The panic attacks on stage, I've heard this from a couple of people that I've talked to, and Desi Oakley's talked about it, and Patti Murin's talked about it, and lots of people who have literally...

[26:44] Eva Noblezada: Oh, Patti, yeah.

[26:46] Alan Seales: I love them both. And especially, I'm thinking about Patti's conversation specifically, is she was saying that literally a Disney queen living the dream on stage in front of thousands of people, and all of a sudden, she's just like, holy shit, they're all looking at me. And that just all of a sudden starts to freeze up while it goes on autopilot, and the show doesn't stop. But then inside the mind and the brain is going a thousand miles a minute.

[27:02] Eva Noblezada: Oh, God. Yeah, that's a perfect way of describing how it feels. And that happens with you on Hadestown still, too?

[27:21] Alan Seales: Absolutely. People's panic and anxiety attacks are rooted in different anxieties and triggers that have happened in the past, different traumas that happened in the past. Mine specifically has to do with body dysmorphia and with bulimia, and related to being on stage. I was forced to lose weight at a young age, and I was forced to look at myself in the mirror and really encourage to say, you're ugly, you need to lose weight, and your skin's horrible. But we love your performance. Your performance is great. Everything else is bullshit. And there were actions that were taken to change all those things. So, of course, still, as a woman, women's bodies change all the time. There'll be times where I'm on stage, and I'll go, oh, my God, I feel like my arms are expanding.

I feel like my stomach's... And then I can't breathe. And then I have a panic attack, because those traumas that are so synced for body and stage are so vivid to me still, sometimes. Absolutely. It happens all the time. Even in my normal life, it happens all the time.

[28:33] Alan Seales: That's really an interesting dichotomy, I think, because I guess where I'm going with this is through the pandemic, and we're going to get to the whole performing pandemic stuff, probably. But you've been posting lots online about pole dancing. It's a side note. It's an amazing workout, right?

[28:43] Eva Noblezada: Yeah. Full body, very cardiovascular. It's just really, really hard. And it's one of those things. It's a profession where, in general, I guess, maybe not in general, maybe I'm stereotyping, but you do it, like the pole dancing is so that men can sexualize you. And as someone who has body dysmorphia, right? Is that in constant conflict? There's the need sort of to be viewed, because you don't have to record and post it either, but you're inspiring...

[29:19] Eva Noblezada: No. The need is to not be viewed. And there is a huge stereotype with... And obviously, that was the first time we saw poles and strippers and sex workers was so that they could be sexualized because it was a business. I am not a sex worker. I completely support sex workers. I completely support strippers. And I am not a stripper. I pole solely because it's fitness space for me. And because that kind of movement is freeing for me. The lack of clothing is not to be sexualized. It's because we need their skin to grip the pole. That's just very, very plain and simple. But you go to any strip club, and of course, they're going to be wearing very little clout to nothing because that's their job is that they want the goals to be sexualized.

But also, so they could stick to the pole to do the dance and to do tricks. There are different types of pole. But I think it's just important for me to say that as a pole dancer, I completely support sex workers and strippers. And that I am very in support of that. But no, I don't want to be viewed.

[30:39] Alan Seales: The goal is to as a man to you also, I'm sure I have come across a lot of imagery in the media that puts pressure on you, possibly to change your body and that this is the way that an attractive man looks. It's all bullshit. And it makes you feel like shit all the time. And it's not just women, it's men as well. But women, it sucks because anything we do is sexualized. Fucking breastfeeding is sexualized. It's disgusting. It's like, that's the disgusting society we live in. So me posting a video of me with a sports bra on and little tiny shorts, sure, people can look at it and say, oh, she's sexualizing herself. That's your point of view. And it makes sense why that's your point of view, because that's the society we live in.

It's hyper-sexualized. But that's not my intention for putting it up there. Do I enjoy doing the workout? And do I like posting it to go like, yes, women can do this. I didn't know how to pole dance until about a year and a half ago. And look at the fucking tricks that I'm doing. It's amazing what the body can do. Absolutely. It's hard. Do I also, however, use pole dancing to have a deeper relationship with my body so that I can value it more and find it more beautiful? Abso-fucking-lutely. Those things, those are so many categories of enjoying your body and realizing how sexy you are that doesn't have to be sexualized. It's just so easy to sexualize anything. I mean, there's a freaking cactus magnet on my bridge. And if I wanted to sexualize that, I can. Like, it's just so dumb. Like, that's just what our society. That's so stupid.

[32:17] Alan Seales: Oh, I'm going to go out on a date with that cactus magnet sooner or later.

[32:31] Eva Noblezada: We're going to take a short break. Stay tuned for more of the episode.

[32:36] Alan Seales: I love how this all kind of plays back to Eurydice a little bit. And I feel like this sort of, this role is really perfect for you in that it's a strong feminine character that you're playing it and possibly, and most likely, you know, with the help and the direction of Rachel Chavkin and the rest of the creative team, everybody, it's just amazing that Eurydice is not some damsel in distress. Yet, Eurydice loves love. So, there's the soft side, but there's the take-no-shit side. And so, how much of that is Eva? And how much of that is what, you know, the creative team, you and the creative team put together for Eurydice?

[33:11] Eva Noblezada: That's a great question. I feel like Eurydice has taught me so much that, and as somebody who loves the character so much, it's hard for me to not say, oh, we're just like each other. Because then it takes away from an actor's ability to like, my goal is to go on stage and you do not see any Eva. That's besides the point. I'm not on stage to be Eva playing Eurydice. I'm on stage and I'm Eurydice, period. And we're very, very different beings. But of course, like, if you wanted me to go play freaking Mufasa, there are things that I can see myself in that character too. You know what I'm saying? That's the beauty of humanity. But yeah, I would say that I love that she's not, she doesn't put on the damsel in distress.

It really just has you look at it in a very real perspective. And actually Reeves said this in an interview and I thought, I always think about that now, is that any audience member, no matter who they're essentially rooting for when they come into the theater, can really see themselves in every single character. And maybe there's one that you kind of go, feel most familiar with, but I see myself in all of the characters as Eva. Eurydice plays an integral part though, to show you the, I guess how difficult it is to not be vulnerable. God, we're watching Vouch right now. And if I put a drinking game for every time someone says, I'm really glad they're being vulnerable, I'd be drunk five minutes in, for sure. It's so annoying. But it's not the beauty of her vulnerability. It's the beauty of...

[35:05] Eva Noblezada: I want to say being authentic to herself because she makes a decision. She doesn't, is not forced to go down to hell. And that's why people are like, hey, he's a villain. He's not really. He gives her a choice and she makes a fucking choice. And I love that she does it because a lot of the roles that I played, my characters did not have a choice or they didn't feel like they did, but Eurydice knows that she has a choice. There's an extra layer of consciousness that I love that Eurydice has. And throughout the whole show, there are things that she does because she wants to, or she can't. Things that the way that she dresses, what she says, how she fucks with Orpheus when they first meet. And she's like, who are you?

Okay, I want to test you to see if you're really the man you're saying you can be. And it's not because she's being flirty or she's like, this is the guy for me. She's genuinely saying, okay, what can you provide for me? And I love that she has that sense of self. I really do. It's really special.

[36:39] Eva Noblezada: Sort of echoes in a way how you were sort of shoved into center stage right at such a young age. Sure. I mean one of Hermes lines is Eurydice was a young girl, but she saw how the world was. Yeah, and it's not that I put myself into Eurydice, it's just that a lot of people have those experiences where you probably know about certain parts of life that I don't and I probably know about certain parts of life because I've experienced and you haven't yet or you or you won't it, you know, people are so different and that's the I love that beauty but um, I know what that's like because I started so young and Eurydice knows that's like because she had to live very survivalist life for so from such a young age and it's almost it's not me putting myself into the character, it's like oh, yeah, I do know what that's like. Awesome.

[37:30] Alan Seales: Yeah, so cool. I do know what that's like.

[37:33] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, yeah, I love that. I mean it comes across it's it's very much just like there's a there's a worldly wise to Eurydice and an acceptance of like I'm making this choice and I'm okay with the outcome and yeah, I feel like that's very much what I see from you and what I know from about you from a distance.

[37:51] Alan Seales: It is. I feel like that's sort of how you are as well. You're just like well, I'm gonna evaluate it, I'm gonna get all my options, I'm gonna make a choice and then I'm gonna stick with it and actually you said this in the beginning, you're like you're all or nothing. You can't do two things.

[38:01] Eva Noblezada: I am very all or nothing, but I appreciate that. Thank you so much for saying that about the show, but yeah, I will say though, I my brain in my way worked so fast. I see all the options and I go based off what I know is right for me and what I feel is right for me and I will say 99% of the times what I feel is right for me because I don't know what's what's gonna happen in the future. I mean, I don't have I wish I may know maybe I don't wish I was like, that'd be actually really fucked up. But um, yeah, I go. I really go based on a feeling a lot of the time that's like kind of how I like maneuver my way through life. It's just based off feeling.

[38:47] Alan Seales: Well, it's good way to go. It's sort of it's the energy you're following the the positive energy pulling you forward which I have another podcast called was it chance where we talk about people following that creative energy and manifest love that opportunity.

[39:03] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, so it's so great. It's totally sort of the same thing but then also going back to like sort of the emotional uncertainty of the time coming out of Miss Saigon and before Hadestown whatnot like you got married and divorced at such a young age.

[39:17] Alan Seales: Mm-hmm as well.

[39:20] Eva Noblezada: I did. Yeah, so I mean I I don't really know what to what to ask to start talking about that, but I want I want to acknowledge it's a very simple explanation. I had a boyfriend. I was very young. He proposed I got scared. I was 21 years old and I said yes because that's a lot of pressure and I didn't know what else to say and it happened and if I go back in time, I wish I could have said, you know that you can say no like that's an option you can't say no but it made sense why I said yes because there was never a time in my life where I could say no a lot of fucked up shit that people were making me do lose weight. We're gonna send you free meals to your door go on a contraception. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I always said yes because I there was a level of performance that I thought I had to achieve offstage. So I completely understand why I said yes.

[40:16] Alan Seales: Oh, you said you were scared what we were scared of.

[40:20] Eva Noblezada: Well, it's a big decision is saying no to a person who you've been in a relationship with that's huge. I still didn't know who I was and I at the time I mean that wasn't a it wasn't a toxic relationship, but it wasn't it was comfortable so, of course what I say no to being not comfortable and those are the questions I was asking because I didn't know I didn't know the complexities of a relationship and how I brought myself into them and how I was changing I didn't realize that because I was in a I was in a routine I was in a groove.

[41:01] Alan Seales: Mm-hmm.

[41:01] Eva Noblezada: I like I said before I hadn't yet developed truly my sense of self and my ability to set boundaries and my ability to say no and not care about what disturbances that caused that was a big thing. I can see the outcome if I had said no, which I originally wanted I did essentially I thought oh god, this would happen these people would be upset. I would lose these friends. This person would not like I thought about all those things. Of course I did. Hmm. So I made the decision based off fear, fear of causing a disruption and fear of not of taking up space in a way that really benefited me and just me because I thought that was selfish big lesson everyone big lesson, you gotta put yourself first.

Otherwise, you're gonna always just now I fucking know that but you you be 21 years old on a on a beach in Tulum when you're paying for the whole vacation and someone proposes to you and you've never even talked about marriage before and you're like that's exactly how I felt.

[42:01] Alan Seales: Yeah, well, I don't have any regrets because I wouldn't obviously be who I am now the lessons I've learned but I will say that it happens and it just so happens that you know about it because fucking press.

[42:16] Eva Noblezada: Yeah.

[42:17] Alan Seales: Social media, you wouldn't know it any any other way.

[42:21] Eva Noblezada: Press is social.

[42:21] Alan Seales: Yeah, present social media.

[42:25] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, they talk about everything. There's an obsession. I think there's an unhealthy obsession in this country with because people have our society doesn't encourage people to know who the fuck they are. I guess if they really cared about who they are and what's good for them then they wouldn't give a shit what who's getting divorced and who's dating who now and relationship drunk like they wouldn't they wouldn't care because it doesn't mean anything because like because half half the world is on not half the world have to I guess be his country half the country's on Prozac probably more I don't know. I don't actually know this.

[43:04] Alan Seales: Isn't that I don't even know what that is man Rosa anti-depressant. Okay, very very generic anti-depressant. It's been around for years and I feel like there is so much internalization like you said what we're talking about a second ago is that you walk down the street and there's guys with with 10-pack abs and girls with perfect boobs and this thin body and always we're trying to get sold something by by being told what who we are is not good enough.

[43:24] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, cuz we're living we live in a very dumbass capitalist system that tells everyone a certain group of people you're perfect. You're the elite everyone follow you we get money you get money everyone else fucking losers fix yourselves you can't get you can't have this opportunity because you're from here. It's so the way that it's set up is actually.

[43:45] Alan Seales: Yeah, yeah, we're not gonna get to that we don't have time oh god, yeah, I wish I could talk to you forever you're so but I guess this is a good place to stop.

[44:05] Eva Noblezada: Oh, actually no before we stop I want to go full circle and take it back to your parents how did they originally wanted you of course to be the the financially stable individual, but sports which I don't understand because they would still be such a small percentage that I would make such a small percentage that I would make a good living off doing fucking BMX, but my dad he was like, he just really wanted to see me succeed in something and yeah, so so when have they have they come around now and they've been like, you know, Eva we're proud of you we're great.

[44:27] Alan Seales: Are you kidding me? Of course they have because they're I'm like, what do you want for Christmas TV done? No, they they knew deep down that it was about trust and of course it took them a long time because I was their first baby and they want their baby to end up. They were so young when my mom had me when she was 17 18 so they they still of course were like we wouldn't want you to do what we wouldn't do and I'm like well you haven't had a chance to know what you would not do. So let me let me be me that was kind of how I felt but of course they the second that they saw me in that environment of performing and and singing they were like, okay, she's happy and that's all we could ever ask for.

[45:14] Eva Noblezada: Wow.

[45:14] Alan Seales: Yeah, I love that and I'm happy for you.

[45:18] Eva Noblezada: Thank you there. It's very I'm very grateful to have there a very supportive family. That's for sure.

[45:24] Alan Seales: All right, so we'll wrap up with three standard closing questions. I ask everybody the first one just very simply is what motivates you?

[45:30] Eva Noblezada: What motivates me I'm now a mother to a beautiful little dog who's asleep on the couch with literally 50 toys so that at the moment motivates me because getting a dog really distracted me from getting caught in the cycle of depression anxiety not permanently on all the time, but a lot of the time so I'm it motivates me to remind myself that there is more to my life than how I feel sometimes it's shit and I think everything shit. It's like no. No, let's not do that. So that that motivates me and also the people in my life the people that I love that love me motivate me and also my young self motivates me. I look at that picture I showed you a lot actually recently and I go she would be so proud of where we are and who we are today, so that motivates me.

[46:26] Alan Seales: Well that leads to my next question is what advice would you give to your younger self and younger people listening now starting out down a similar path?

[46:32] Eva Noblezada: See, I love this question because I wouldn't give my younger self any advice because really no because I I think it's cheating. I think it's like let let your younger self have at least for me. This is my personal experience she needed to do those things because innately younger me knew what the right thing for her was she was just scared to take up space and and do what was right for her solely but we learned a lesson in a really great way. And hey, it's a fucking punchline now. I'm divorced hello, that's hilarious. And I'm two-time Tony nominee two-time loser. Like it's funny. We're writing our memoir that's what I want to say to younger me. Do you it's gonna make a great book one day. I do have a I do have a thing where if I could go back in time I would dress as like really older me and like scare the shit out of my younger self that's probably what I would do and be like something like I don't know like make it seem like really witchy like don't you know? No, I'd fuck with myself younger stuff more than I would.

[47:38] Alan Seales: Okay, so last question then if you can only see one show for the rest of your life you can see as many times as you want. What would you say?

[47:42] Eva Noblezada: MJ the musical. Oh my god so good, right? So good. That's all I have to say.

[47:52] Alan Seales: Objectively one of the best shows I have seen hands down.

[47:59] Eva Noblezada: Phenomenal.

[48:01] Alan Seales: All right, where can we find you on social media?

[48:06] Eva Noblezada: Oh god, um, you can find me on Instagram Livi the Maria and also on Twitter and even aizada, but no pressure. I don't care if you follow me or not. It's your choice.

[48:18] Alan Seales: I think you should I think the world still revolves.

[48:23] Eva Noblezada: Yeah, you got you got you post some good stuff.

[48:29] Alan Seales: All right, you can find more of me the theater podcast comm I'm on Instagram and Twitter theater underscore podcast on Facebook who uses that facebook.com slash official theater podcast leave a rating in a review wherever you're listening now this has been edited by well-rounded hoodlum productions jukebox the ghost gave you the music you're listening to right now and even noble exotic. Thank you so much for joining us today take a deep breath make the world a little colorful.