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[0:00] Merritt Kahn: You know, we've always heard tragedy plus time equals comedy.

[0:03] Alan Seales: Yep.

[0:04] Merritt Kahn: Nobody said it had to take a long time.

[0:06] Alan Seales: Oh.

[0:07] Merritt Kahn: That's really my life. My motto now is, you know, it doesn't have to take a long time. Now there are deep tragedies that need to be mourned, and let's not sugarcoat them. But, you know, for a lot of us, outside of those big things, you know, we don't have to relate to everything like it's this big drama. You can find the funny fast. You just have to train yourself to how to do that.

[0:41] Alan Seales: We're rolling.

[0:42] Heather Vickery: Hey everyone. Welcome to Was It Chance, the podcast about embracing opportunity and taking intentional risk for your creative life.

[0:48] Alan Seales: I'm Heather Vickery.

[0:49] Merritt Kahn: And I'm a little bit of a coffee, Alan Seales.

[0:52] Alan Seales: I got a chest cold.

[0:53] Heather Vickery: A coffee as it or you need a coffee.

[0:56] Alan Seales: No, I'm not like a coffee.

[0:58] Heather Vickery: Oh, wait, let me finish. Heather and I started off as two perfect strangers who met by chance and embraced opportunity. Now you get to listen in to my coffeeing as we chat with other successful people about the risks they've taken to put themselves on a path to creative success.

[1:10] Alan Seales: I've had a chest cold.

[1:12] Heather Vickery: I can't kick.

[1:14] Alan Seales: That's brutal.

[1:14] Heather Vickery: I mean, yeah, my heel won't reach my chest.

[1:17] Alan Seales: Um you are not the comedian in this episode.

[1:21] Heather Vickery: Let's be clear. So if you're watching, you might see me mute and turn away and cough.

[1:26] Alan Seales: Hold on, it's kind of like you feel better.

[1:29] Heather Vickery: Like that. I had the flu, like the actual flu, like the doctor did the swab and said you have the flu in early January, and I am still kind of coughing.

[1:38] Alan Seales: Really?

[1:39] Heather Vickery: Yeah.

[1:39] Alan Seales: That's some bullshit. You're drinking your coffee.

[1:42] Heather Vickery: I'm drinking my coffee. I drink so much less coffee now than I used to.

[1:45] Alan Seales: I'm fascinated by this.

[1:47] Heather Vickery: Why?

[1:47] Alan Seales: What happened?

[1:48] Heather Vickery: Because I I want I need notes.

[1:49] Alan Seales: I don't know.

[1:51] Heather Vickery: Oh, well, okay. This is so random. I mean, I used to go to sleep excited to wake up and have coffee. Like coffee has been a thing that brings me excitement and joy since I was in my early 20s.

[2:03] Alan Seales: Of all the things that I would be excited for the next day, coffee has never been one of them.

[2:08] Heather Vickery: No, it was for me. I'm like, oh, I can't wait. I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna sit with the coffee. It's gonna be amazing. And then in March of 24, I went to Costa Rica and did my planning trip for the Costa Rica retreat that I just had that ended in January.

[2:22] Alan Seales: And I they first of all they had the best coffee I've ever had in my life, and I didn't, it's vegan food, so plant-based, dairy-free, gluten-free. And I didn't put creamer in it, which normally I put milk in my coffee or cream in my coffee.

[2:34] Heather Vickery: And then I came home like I'm this coffee was so good. I want to just enjoy black coffee.

[2:39] Alan Seales: And all of a sudden, something about it, I don't know if it was eating vegan plant-based for a week or having less coffee in general. I don't know what it was, but since then I have like, I don't know, a cup, a day, maybe.

[2:51] Heather Vickery: Today I actually had almost two, which is really rare.

[2:53] Alan Seales: And then I took a nap immediately after.

[2:56] Heather Vickery: Good for you.

[2:56] Alan Seales: Yeah, that was this morning. I woke up at 6:45 and I scrolled a little on socials and I had two cups of coffee. I took a shower, I made breakfast, and at 10:30, I was like, you know what? I think I need a nap. And I took a 20-minute nap.

[3:09] Heather Vickery: What something that I heard Ariana Huffington say once was that the one of the worst things you can do for yourself in terms of productivity is to roll over and the first thing you do, reach for your phone.

[3:21] Alan Seales: Absolutely.

[3:22] Heather Vickery: 100%. Because that like trains yourself just to immediately check out. So you're not focusing on what you need to do for the day.

[3:29] Alan Seales: So I've ever since I heard that, I I don't always follow it, but I'm not sure.

[3:33] Heather Vickery: I know. I was like, when are you ever?

[3:35] Alan Seales: Like it doesn't matter what time of day I text you, you respond.

[3:39] Heather Vickery: Well, because I'm normally on my computer and my computers are synced, my computers are synced with messages, so I just see the pop-up on my screen as I'm working.

[3:45] Alan Seales: I'm not looking at the city.

[3:46] Heather Vickery: Yeah, but it could be midnight. It could be 4 a.m. You're always responding.

[3:51] Alan Seales: Well, that's because I'm a weirdo and I'm normally awake.

[3:55] Heather Vickery: Maybe because of all the coffee I drink.

[3:57] Alan Seales: I actually don't drink coffee as I drink my bloom energy drink.

[4:01] Heather Vickery: This is fun.

[4:02] Alan Seales: I cannot drink those things.

[4:04] Heather Vickery: They make me feel like I'm strung out.

[4:06] Alan Seales: Like I like I'm like jittery and like blah.

[4:09] Heather Vickery: I drink them slowly.

[4:10] Alan Seales: You would have to.

[4:11] Heather Vickery: Well, yeah, I don't drink them. I just have lime water, water with fresh lime in it.

[4:14] Alan Seales: That's way better.

[4:16] Heather Vickery: This is such a random intro banter. Like we have covered.

[4:20] Alan Seales: What if we missed?

[4:25] Heather Vickery: That was anybody listen to Rich Wright's episode because that is so random that we did that.

[4:31] Alan Seales: But that was a fun conversation.

[4:33] Heather Vickery: I know it's fresh in my mind because I just edited it a few weeks ago.

[4:36] Alan Seales: Um yeah, adaptive cruise control.

[4:38] Heather Vickery: Anyway, no, uh anyway, I guess let's dive in.

[4:42] Alan Seales: We should dive in.

[4:43] Heather Vickery: She's been waiting so nicely.

[4:45] Alan Seales: Patiently.

[4:46] Heather Vickery: So patiently.

[4:47] Alan Seales: And she's ready too.

[4:48] Heather Vickery: This is a very prepared guest.

[4:50] Alan Seales: Oh, she is.

[4:51] Heather Vickery: She's listened.

[4:51] Alan Seales: Who do we have?

[4:52] Heather Vickery: We have Merritt Kahn with us today.

[4:54] Alan Seales: And so I want to throw this out to you guys.

[4:57] Heather Vickery: How do you handle a plot twist that you did not sign up for?

[5:01] Alan Seales: Well, Merritt Kahn has the answer, and for her, it involves a stage, a script, and a healthy dose of irreverent optimism.

[5:08] Heather Vickery: Merritt is the creator and performer of Optimistic Personality Disorder.

[5:13] Alan Seales: That's trademarked, by the way.

[5:15] Heather Vickery: Uh, one woman show that navigates the complexities of divorce, health crises, the transition into empty nesting, which we can really dig in on that one.

[5:23] Alan Seales: And while she is recognized as an expert in emotional intelligence and high impact sales, her most profound work happens when she helps people rewrite their own narratives.

[5:33] Heather Vickery: She invites us to look at the moments that broke us.

[5:36] Alan Seales: So many, and ask if they were endings or simply the beginning of a much more interesting act.

[5:42] Heather Vickery: We are gonna dig in on this. And I also have to give a little prop to a was it chance fan and a good friend of mine, Candace from Gat the Gratitude Geek podcast, who actually introduced us to Merritt.

[5:56] Alan Seales: So shout out to you, Candace. Thank you for this introduction.

[5:57] Heather Vickery: And Mara, welcome to Was It Chance.

[6:00] Merritt Kahn: Well, thank you, Heather.

[6:02] Merritt Kahn: I am Alan. I'm so happy to be here.

[6:05] Merritt Kahn: Um yeah, very exciting.

[6:06] Alan Seales: Mara's gonna text Candace after this and be like, what the hell was this?

[6:09] Merritt Kahn: That was this was terrible.

[6:12] Alan Seales: But no, anybody who comes in and says, I have prepared my rendition of Shut the Fuck Up, Alan is my favorite person for the month.

[6:23] Merritt Kahn: So we're gonna save that for later.

[6:25] Alan Seales: Yeah, I always like to listen to the podcast, you know, before I am a guest on their show.

[6:30] Merritt Kahn: I think that's a good thing to do is prepare and understand.

[6:33] Merritt Kahn: And I listened to the episode you did recently with uh Troy Horn, and I love that guy.

[6:39] Merritt Kahn: And I didn't know he lives in Denver, um, where I am.

[6:43] Merritt Kahn: So um, here's something that's gonna happen when we are done with this podcast.

[6:47] Merritt Kahn: I will be emailing Troy and be like, you know, I listened to your episode right before I was interviewed, and it happens to be by chance that I have a show this weekend, and I would like to give you and your lovely wife some tickets.

[7:01] Alan Seales: So my show.

[7:03] Merritt Kahn: Oh my gosh, I would like to go to your acting class.

[7:06] Merritt Kahn: I love everything about this.

[7:08] Alan Seales: Right.

[7:08] Merritt Kahn: We're master connectors, Alan.

[7:10] Alan Seales: It's Mike Chance.

[7:11] Merritt Kahn: So was it chance?

[7:14] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[7:14] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[7:14] Alan Seales: That's uh, he played my one of my absolute favorite roles on on Broadway of all time.

[7:20] Merritt Kahn: I mean, I love, love, love rent.

[7:22] Alan Seales: And it's so funny because my dad and I, I I grew up in New York.

[7:26] Merritt Kahn: So we were at the original Broadway show when Rent opened, was that like 25 some odd years ago.

[7:33] Alan Seales: And then when it came to Denver at the DCPA, our big uh performing arts center uh uh theater, uh, we went to see it again.

[7:43] Merritt Kahn: It was it's like, wow, it's like so full circle.

[7:46] Alan Seales: So then I don't know. It's it's such a great show.

[7:48] Merritt Kahn: I love that story.

[7:49] Alan Seales: Oh my gosh.

[7:50] Merritt Kahn: Well, then you'll have to let us know.

[7:51] Alan Seales: We'll have to get a hear all about it from um from Troy, how the show was.

[7:56] Merritt Kahn: It's all good.

[7:57] Alan Seales: That's all right.

[7:58] Merritt Kahn: That's fun.

[7:58] Alan Seales: Well, okay.

[7:59] Heather Vickery: So Merritt, uh like as a at a high level view, if I was to describe who you are, I guess your LinkedIn headline profile, for lack of a better analogy.

[8:10] Alan Seales: How do you describe yourself as a whole?

[8:13] Merritt Kahn: Oh, that when people ask me that question. I am uh an eternal optimist, so there's that about me. Um I'm just intensely interested in what makes people tick. I always have been. And I was told early on when I was, you know, starting my career and it was all about sales. It was really like learn everything you can about other people, which was great advice at the time. But what I hadn't really discovered was the other people that or the people that are always gonna be around me starts with me.

[8:43] Merritt Kahn: So I started getting really interested in learning everything I could about myself. And I did every assessment under the sun, really learned how I, you know, how do I tick, and that just gave me a good understanding of like how do people interact out there and how do we relate to each other?

[8:59] Merritt Kahn: And then I ended up getting certified in emotional intelligence and positive psychology.

[9:03] Alan Seales: Me too.

[9:06] Merritt Kahn: Um, but I will say the most fascinating discovery I did for myself out of all the years of journaling and therapy and assessments and all the things was studying stand-up comedy.

[9:21] Alan Seales: What?

[9:22] Merritt Kahn: I kid you not, it was the it because what it taught me was to observe what I observe.

[9:30] Alan Seales: And so I became sort of this third party watching myself go through life and like noticing what annoys me, what frustrates me, what makes me laugh, what you know, what surprises me.

[9:45] Merritt Kahn: Yeah. And that's where this all this comedy lives.

[9:48] Alan Seales: I love it.

[9:49] Merritt Kahn: Um, and and I just so I'd say in a nutshell, I am an observer of myself and others.

[9:55] Alan Seales: Wow.

[9:55] Merritt Kahn: And then what a great answer.

[9:58] Alan Seales: What a great answer.

[9:59] Merritt Kahn: I think you should actually put that as your LinkedIn tag.

[10:03] Alan Seales: Ooh.

[10:04] Merritt Kahn: Okay.

[10:05] Alan Seales: That's my invitation for you to talk.

[10:07] Merritt Kahn: Thank you. I will be changing that in in a few moments.

[10:10] Alan Seales: My partner is currently in improv classes.

[10:14] Merritt Kahn: And she's taken stand-up classes for several years, but this is the first time she's done improv classes.

[10:20] Alan Seales: Now I have a theater degree, so I've it's been a long time since I took improv classes, but I took them.

[10:26] Merritt Kahn: Um, and she's like, it's really hard.

[10:29] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[10:29] Merritt Kahn: And it is hard.

[10:30] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[10:31] Merritt Kahn: Comedy is the hardest thing to do.

[10:33] Alan Seales: Especially improv comedy.

[10:35] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[10:35] Alan Seales: And to actually be funny.

[10:37] Merritt Kahn: Well, I will say, I mean, I've taken improv classes as well as stand-up classes.

[10:41] Alan Seales: I prefer stand-up because um, I know what do I say this.

[10:46] Merritt Kahn: Uh I like to know that I can rely on myself.

[10:50] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[10:51] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, I get that.

[10:52] Alan Seales: You know, in improv, everybody's following the same set of rules.

[10:56] Merritt Kahn: And there's some people that are just really naturally creative and and really understand how to make a scene work.

[11:02] Alan Seales: And I guess, you know, too.

[11:04] Merritt Kahn: I didn't I didn't go all that far in my improv classes.

[11:07] Alan Seales: So, you know, I never really got a chance to improv with with the greats.

[11:12] Merritt Kahn: But um, I I think I got a little frustrated, like, oh god, I have to do a scene with that guy.

[11:18] Alan Seales: Bad improv is bad.

[11:19] Merritt Kahn: Bad improv is embarrassingly.

[11:21] Alan Seales: It's painful.

[11:22] Merritt Kahn: I get secondhand embarrassment, and I'm like, oh, I can't say secondhand embarrassment.

[11:27] Alan Seales: Oh, I like that.

[11:29] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[11:29] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[11:30] Merritt Kahn: No, that's a real thing.

[11:31] Alan Seales: I get it when I watch TV shows and movies too.

[11:33] Merritt Kahn: I'm like, oh, it actually really hurts me to watch them go through this.

[11:37] Alan Seales: And I'm like, I'll leave my partner will like try to pause the TV so that I don't miss anything.

[11:42] Merritt Kahn: And I'm like, please don't pause it. I have to come back when this scene is over.

[11:45] Alan Seales: I was watching the new season, the reboot of Scrubs last night, and they that one of the characters has second hand hand embarrassment.

[11:51] Merritt Kahn: So now that's twice in 18 hours. I've heard that reference.

[11:53] Alan Seales: There you go.

[11:55] Merritt Kahn: Wow.

[11:55] Alan Seales: There you go.

[11:56] Merritt Kahn: That's a chance encounter right there.

[11:59] Alan Seales: I love it.

[12:00] Heather Vickery: Okay, well, so speaking of of chance encounters, and I I love already, we've had so many in chance encounter that Candace connected us and that you live in the same place as the most one of the most recent episodes we aired, guests that we just recently shared.

[12:13] Heather Vickery: I am curious what your relationship is like with chance, maybe from when you were younger. Like if you look back, Merritt, was there something, some moment, a teacher's comment or a book, or I don't know, something that planted this seed for you to become the person who does what you do on stages today.

[12:32] Merritt Kahn: Oh. Um, I think my whole life, I think this about everybody's life. I think it's a series of things that gets you to where you are. And ultimately, all of the things that I've done in my past have contributed in some way to the fact that now I am not only the playwright of my one-woman show, but also the producer and the performer. And, you know, and I could never have done that had I not had early experiences like in sixth grade auditioning for Broadway. Uh, you know, I obviously did not make that, uh, you know, but props to Troy and uh a woman who came to my show last night, um, uh Candy Brown. Shout out to Candy Brown, who was amazing um Broadway actor. And she saw my show last night and she was like, normally I don't like other things, and I'm gonna like your show.

So I got a great testimonial that I will be just using for plaster. Oh, yes. This show is better than other things. I don't usually like anything, but I like this. And I was on Broadway for seven years, so I know what I'm talking about. But that was like, I couldn't have asked for a better plug. So anyway, um, but back to your question. Um, you know, it was everything from auditioning um Broadway at in the sixth grade to becoming uh a sales trainer and coach and consultant, understanding people, marrying and divorcing a narcissist. Like, like you know, that was really ripe for comedy. Thank you, um, my ex. I am who would by the way say that he is funny be or I am funny because of him. That's not exactly um, I am funny and that's a narcissistic response.

Right. But I think everything that we do in our lives l gets us to this point. And once you have a chance to really look at the timeline of your life and experiences the highs and lows, and you can see and ask yourself, like, why did that happen? Why did I do that? And you don't necessarily know it at the time, but everything contributes to that that place that you get to in life where you're like, oh, I am finally doing exactly what I am supposed to do. Um, you know, I was a keynote speaker, I still do keynote speaking, and that pays a lot better than comedy, I will tell you that. Um but that's actually actually how I started stand-up. I wanted to learn how to be funnier in the keynotes for business that I was doing.

That's why my partner took stand-up class. Same thing. Yeah, exactly. Same reason. And funny thing happened on the way to being funnier in business. I I uh decided I fell in love with comedy and it only took a seven-minute original stand-up set, and I was hooked. Um, because it, you know, when you're on a keynote stage, you're there for the content, right? If you're funny and likable, that's great. People enjoy it, but you're paid to deliver relevant content. Right. Well, in a stand-up set, you're paid to deliver laughs every seven to ten seconds. It's a lot of pressure. Um, but it's there's no better reward than people laughing and just being able to take a break from all the trauma and drama that they deal with in life to just shut it all out and enjoy laughing together with strangers. And I just think that's the most beautiful thing you could do.

[15:51] Heather Vickery: I agree. I agree. And the world needs comedy. I'm producing a comedy right now myself, and it is hard as hell, but the world needs to laugh. Especially well, yeah, the world. Okay, I'll just say I'll say the world. But when you were when you were younger though, like you got into like the sales training side and everything. But what did you originally want to do though? Like when you were a kid, that's what I was trying to get at because I was like here's describe what you are now and I want to work my way back. That's normally my shtick. But now I'm like well you do everything. Mad respect because we will rule the world. But like where did you start? What did you want to do?

[16:25] Merritt Kahn: I absolutely wanted to be on stage. That was consistently a theme. So when I was younger I did want to be you know an actor an actress on Broadway. I wanted to be a singer and uh and and I'm really glad I didn't do that path. I really can't sing but um you know back then I was okay. Um and my I remember my dad said well that's fine. You know you can certainly do acting um just like learn something else first. And that was probably the only thing like that I was like but I followed that advice and you know got a degree in advertising and you know sales and I was always personable but I think it was always rooted in that like I want I want my presence to make people feel good whether that was on stage entertaining or solving problems in sales capacity um but it was always about contributing and making life a little easier that was just always something that was intriguing to me.

But also anything where I could wear a short skirt. Um so I like cheerleading, ice skating, tennis, and uh and in my one woman show, I get to wear a short skirt too. I have spent most of my 51 years avoiding anything that requires me to wear a short skirt. So I I love that I could safely say I can count the number of times I've worn a short skirt on one hand as well. Um but I think it could be fun. I I should get pushed outside my comfort zone a little bit.

[17:56] Heather Vickery: You should. Um we I mean sometimes I accidentally wear your short skirt because I'm only like four eleven, so even long shirts called a shirt. Long shirt. That's kinda that's funny. We're gonna take a quick break. Stay tuned for more of the episode.

[18:13] Heather Vickery: And now we're back. So if you've listened to this show and and you have, and those who listen to us regularly, Alan is a very funny guy. But often your humor, my dear friend, is a defense mechanism.

[18:27] Alan Seales: Shut up.

[18:28] Heather Vickery: Yeah, you're right. In many, many, many cases. And I'm curious, because Merritt, I think you use it more like a bridge.

[18:35] Merritt Kahn: Who I think we lost her.

[18:36] Alan Seales: What?

[18:37] Merritt Kahn: Little delay.

[18:38] Alan Seales: We heard we heard many, many, many ki-back now.

[18:41] Merritt Kahn: You're back now.

[18:42] Merritt Kahn: I'm literally, I'm literally hardwired in right now. It says your network's struggling.

[18:47] Alan Seales: Go ahead.

[18:48] Merritt Kahn: How could my network be struggling? I'm hardwired in. Blame the snow.

[18:52] Alan Seales: There's no snow.

[18:53] Merritt Kahn: I'm so fucking annoyed. I was like, I'm not gonna use Wi-Fi for this interview. I'm gonna hardwire it in so that we don't have any problems.

[19:00] Alan Seales: I don't understand it's Mercury and retrograde.

[19:02] Merritt Kahn: Mercury's a Gatorade. It's a real test of when things don't go don't go well. It's the defense mechanism. You were just the defense mechanisms, right? So Alan's humor is often uh a defense mechanism. It's very you're very hard on yourself, self-deprecating. Uh but I think that Mary, you often use humor or at least from my perspective, kind of as a bridge. Um and so I'm curious how that became for you. Is that have you been like that always? And how does that play into this show that you now have out?

[19:38] Merritt Kahn: Well, I love that you you know made the distinction. A lot of com comics may have made a lot of money on self-deprecating humor, and that's a definitely a thing. Uh because I first started learning comedy to to insert into my keynotes, that is not a stage where self-deprecation is you know, they they just paid you thousands of dollars. They don't want the, you know, like, well, I'm not really good at this, and I don't know. But you have to be relatable. In my show and and the type of comedy that I really gravitate to, it's really that it's a little bit more than observational, not to throw shade on the people who have made quite a bit of money and a good career out of, well, what's the deal with pulling out of your driveway with old people?

Like lots of that guy's made a lot of money. I think we all know what we're talking about. Um, but I again I like to look at why did I observe what I just observed? And you know, now especially you're uh we're observing like there's so much that we're focused on our differences, but we're really when I get an audience together, nobody knows how you vote or what your preferences are or any of that. They're just laughing. And that is the great connector. And so I want my audiences, and I you know, I certainly have my political views like anyone else, but I I don't necessarily display them on stage, not because I'm worried I'm gonna alienate one or the other. I just feel like my gift and my responsibility as a as a comedian and as an entertainer is to really bring people together.

And so if we can kind of laugh together over the ups and downs of my life story, you can leave the theater feeling a little bit lighter about your own life story. Like if she can survive that and turn that into comedy, I could probably turn my own thing into comedy.

[21:36] Heather Vickery: Huh. I really enjoy that. Where did you fall into that method of of subject matter, I guess? Like when you are deciding, do I am I self-deprecating, am I observational, whatever it is? Like they the the cliche is write what you know, but I guess is that the answer?

[21:53] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, I think I think there's things that we know that you know, like we know what we like, we know, you know, you've been around you longer than anyone, so you kind of know a little bit about you and how you tick. And I think that's a a really good place to to start your writing. Um, my writing, by the way, just it's not like I I don't really sit down to say, okay, today I'm gonna write 20 minutes of comedy. I just journal. I just write. I write whatever's on my mind, whatever I'm observing, whatever I'm observing about what I'm observing. That's the best part. And that's where the comedy just it just bubbles up. And um, if I can give you an example, please.

[22:35] Merritt Kahn: Uh so my show is called Optimistic Personality Disorder. And that phrase actually came from a journal entry when I was writing about how frustrated I was going through my divorce. It was at the early stages of my divorce. He already wasn't doing what he said he was gonna do, and I was baffled. Just baffled. And I'm writing and writing, and I'm thinking, you know, I really, I really think our divorce is gonna go smooth. Um, I just I don't know why he just did what he did, but I I just I really trust that it's gonna be smooth. And then I looked at the page and I'm like, I think I have a problem. Because when we loved each other, it didn't work. And now we don't love each other, and I'm the one sitting here thinking it's gonna work.

We're still gonna be just fine. Like, I I think I have too much optimism. I think I have optimistic personality disorder, and all of a sudden those words just jumped off the page, and I'm like, there it is. That literally is the theme of my life. I I will drive to anywhere and think parking will a ma immediately appear for me as soon as I roll up. Yeah, but how often does it? Sometimes, because I'm a good manifester, but sometimes it doesn't, and I'm like, what's the matter? Oh, yeah, there's gotta be that yeah. Like, what am I blocking? I I get like all this shit in my my social media feeds about like AI and quantum computing, and uh and now it's kind of like moved into this adding in this stuff.

I guess it's the algorithm's testing me out. But it's like it's like you are manifesting your own destiny. We are giant biological quantum computers that can exist in multiple places and multiple times, and there's all you know, like I I need to look into this before I quote it as anything reliable.

[24:18] Heather Vickery: But there was something that caught my eye the other day. And I was like, oh, this is true, that would be cool, which was that the energy you put out there into the world in terms of just like the quantum energy of the universe that we don't quite understand, is that the less you stress about something, the more likely it is to happen.

[24:33] Merritt Kahn: 100%.

[24:34] Heather Vickery: And we see that. I'm dealing with that. Do you remember years ago we interviewed Sammy Moog?

[24:38] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, and we talked about that with him.

[24:40] Heather Vickery: And when we interviewed um uh Julie Sevier, I can't, the facial mapper.

[24:47] Merritt Kahn: Yes.

[24:48] Heather Vickery: Yes. And she talked about how she bends time and she's never late for anything.

[24:54] Merritt Kahn: I use that technique still.

[24:56] Heather Vickery: She's like, I never if I'm in the car and I'm going, you know, timing is tight. I never look at the clock. I just channel, I will show up right on time.

[25:06] Merritt Kahn: And that might mean the person she's meeting is late.

[25:08] Heather Vickery: Yep.

[25:09] Merritt Kahn: And so she's still there first. But like everything works out. And I stay in that space. I do that. And I will tell you from my own firsthand manifestation experience, the more I just chill the fuck out and do the best I can and then just pull back, the more successful I am.

[25:26] Heather Vickery: A hundred percent of the time. I'm going through that right now. I uh I always worry about ticket sales. That every every producer worries about ticket sales, right, Alan?

[25:34] Alan Seales: Yep.

[25:34] Merritt Kahn: Yep, yep.

[25:35] Merritt Kahn: And I notice that when I'm when all of my focus is like forcing the forcing an outcome, I can't do. I've already done the ads, I've already done the outreach. Like it's it's everything that it was in in my power, I have done. Not I mean, including when I go to a restaurant and I see a couple of women sitting together, I'm like, okay, that's my target audience right there. And I just hand them a card and be like, you're gonna love my show.

[26:01] Heather Vickery: Which is awesome.

[26:02] Merritt Kahn: I do everything. Um, but the ticket sales pour in when I sit down and I'm writing comedy or I'm rehearsing or I'm tweaking a line or reviewing the video. I mean, when I'm putting effort and energy into the performance and my audience's experience, it's like then I'll check my email and go, oh shit, I just sold a bunch of tickets.

[26:25] Heather Vickery: It's so weird.

[26:27] Merritt Kahn: It's so weird. Because quantum-wise, what we're doing now creates what we're experiencing later.

[26:35] Heather Vickery: We're well, quant if it's truly quantum, what we're doing that we are experiencing it simultaneously now and later.

[26:42] Merritt Kahn: That is correct, except that so it's like the speed of light and the speed of sound. Like we experience it later, right?

[26:49] Heather Vickery: Right.

[26:49] Merritt Kahn: It still has to reach us and we still have to process it as three-dimensional beings and all these other things.

[26:53] Heather Vickery: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. I love that shit. I think it's really fucking cool. And um, and I think it's like super valid. Like it's really I don't know, man. It's really we could I love the quantum conversations. And and so it's not necessarily quantum, but let's talk about timing. Your journaling, you're you're it's the optimistic personality disorder. You're you're what happens that shifts you from like just journaling and and being in your life and processing your life to like this is a show. I'm gonna put all of this time and money and effort into doing this thing with my life experience.

[27:32] Merritt Kahn: Well, I had no concept of putting together a one-woman show, but I it was my 50th birthday, so this is 2019. And I just wanted to do something special. At that point, I was I was doing some stand-up. I'm I perform regularly with a group called Moms Unhinged, all mom comedians, mostly mom audiences, a few brave dads. And it's it's just the most fun. So that's another great like go to mom's unhinged comedy.com and like check out the lineup that I'm just honored to be among the amazing comedians in that group. Anyway, but at that time I had about a 20-minute stand-up set. And I wanted to develop more. I wanted to, I thought I wanted to be a headliner for stand-up. So I my goal was to have a 50-minute stand-up set.

So I thought, I'm gonna do 50 minutes of stand-up comedy for my 50th birthday. I'm gonna rent a bar and just stand at a microphone with a little stool behind me and perform for my friends. And I started writing and and doing all of this. And I worked with my comedy coaches and my dad said, uh, I don't see this as a stand-up set. I I think you've got some great stories that you tell in your keynotes, and I feel like what you have is more like a one-woman show. And I started thinking about it. And then I pulled in some stories from, you know, different programs I had done. I thought, oh, I think I think he's kind of right. And then I just looked at my life in decades. Who were the people that were important in that decade?

What made me laugh? What did I learn? What experiences stood out as highs or lows? And the more I really was reflecting on my life, the more I found humor in every aspect of life, and how the lessons I learned early in my life did show up later in life, and they served me. But I didn't know that that was gonna be an important lesson early on. I just knew later, I was like, oh, that's because I learned of what that of what I learned in the sixth grade. Like it's crazy to me that in the sixth grade, I literally they canceled the school musical, and that was at a time where I was like, oh, hell no. And so I produced the sixth grade musical. Well, of course. I enrolled the teachers, the music teacher, the art teacher, the board of education, let us use the auditorium.

I recruited all my friends and cast the whole show. We I mean, we did everything. And obviously I was Annie, because you know, you could do that. When you make your own show, you can cast yourself. Yeah, it was so here I am as an adult. And what have I done? I literally am producing my own show. So every all the clues to what I really wanted to do and be in my life were there available on display in the sixth grade. And here I am. The whole time.

[30:20] Heather Vickery: Yeah. That's crazy. Well, so the the sales part of it, was that just a side effect of like doing the corporate speaking or just the or the training part of it? Like what brought you down that kind of like, what is it a side path, or was is comedy your side path?

[30:39] Merritt Kahn: I I think I just, you know, I mean, that was that was about, you know, you're in your you graduate from college, you're in your 20s, you gotta something improve to the world, you want to make money. And it was really never a question of what is Merit gonna do with her life. It was more a question of what is Merit gonna sell because my dad sold advertising, my mom sold real estate, my grandfather had a car lot, my grandmother sold Avon. It was like very similar life experiences. It's kind of fascinating to me.

[31:07] Heather Vickery: Oh, cool.

[31:07] Merritt Kahn: Very similar. It was my dad's youngest brother who sold radio advertising. My dad was in print. And I remember visiting my uncle Rich when I was 15 years old. He sent me to California. I spent a week with him, and he picks me up. He's he's 10 years older than me. So at that time, he's 25 years old. He picks me up in a black Porsche with the radio station call letters on the license plate. And before I even fastened my seatbelt, I'm like, Uncle Rich, what do you do again? And he's like, radio advertising, baby. And I'm like, well, I just found my career. And so I did that. And I didn't find out until years later that it wasn't his car.

[31:50] Heather Vickery: Yeah, it was a company car.

[31:52] Merritt Kahn: The damage was done. See, but that's was it, but that's was it chance? Like that's like a random thing that shouldn't have been that was that put you down a path. I love that. And I think it was great. I I loved all my sales experience because I come at producing my one woman show from a business standpoint. And most people that do one-person shows or you know, producing shows, they come from the theater background. And the theater background um doesn't really go into the as far as I am aware. Um, I'm sure there are programs that do, but honestly, you're focused on getting good at your craft.

[32:28] Heather Vickery: Yeah.

[32:29] Merritt Kahn: And so I I think there's a lot of value that I bring to producing my show that sets me apart. And and I'm very happy to say I have performed my show 27 times, and every single time it's been profitable.

[32:43] Heather Vickery: Incredible.

[32:45] Merritt Kahn: It's it’s incredibly rare, but that's why I think it's it's successful. Now I've taken it to a certain point, and I'm gonna need help and the the right chance meetings and the right people to see it to to get me to that next echelon of success.

[33:01] Alan Seales: But I know a guy.

[33:03] Merritt Kahn: Well, great.

[33:04] Alan Seales: You do too.

[33:05] Merritt Kahn: You know how do you know anybody, Alan?

[33:09] Alan Seales: Me?

[33:09] Merritt Kahn: Alan is my guy.

[33:12] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, but that's the thing. It's like I, you know, I I think all that sales background and marketing and and being an entrepreneur and being fearless. Like I used to teach people the three-foot rule, which was anybody within three feet of you, you're gonna say, Hi, what do you do? Here's what I do. Like, it's annoying to other people, but it sells some tickets, and I'm okay with that.

[33:34] Heather Vickery: Yeah.

[33:35] Merritt Kahn: What has surprised you that's been more fun about your show than you anticipated it being?

[33:44] Merritt Kahn: Oh I get a kick. Well, I suppose I I always knew it would resonate with women who were like me, right? Because it's my life story. And if you're a 50-year-old woman, you're gonna be like, yep, yep, yep, did that, uh-huh, got it. It's been really fun to watch how it's resonated with men. And I I was not anticipating that, and the stories that they share with me about how it relates to them. And I think that's probably the most surprising thing that people have completely different experiences than mine. And they still come up to me and say, I could totally relate to your show. Our stories are different, but the way you felt about that, how you looked at that, what you did with that, and I just had no idea.

Um, so that's been that's been fun. And I would say on the producing side, um, I I really love tinkering. I've learned lighting design and sound, and you know, I mean, I staged it. I have worked with directors um and acting coaches to, you know, kind of fine-tune certain parts of it uh because I'm not the formally theater trained. So that's been fun, really fun to learn, but also just like, how can I travel with the show easier? Because right now I have a hundred pounds of luggage and I am a 4'11 uh little girl, and it's it's freaking hard to travel with all this stuff. So I'm having fun tinkering with um, and my boyfriend loves to do this part with me. Like, how can we make this lighter? And how can we make this travel better?

And you know, you're I went from using this like um chest of five drawers where I put the costumes in different things, and as I'm pulling out things for the different decades, but the it was like an IKEA thing, and I had to build it every single time, dismantle and it was heavy. And now I'm like, okay, then I went to bankers' boxes, and those were clunky and they didn't pack well. And then I found fabric boxes, and now I'm like, can the theater just give me five boxes so I don't have to bring it? It's like all these little ways to like make it easier, and I don't know, I just love tinkering.

[35:55] Heather Vickery: So I was like the two the two of you together are the producing general management team.

[35:59] Merritt Kahn: Yes.

[36:00] Merritt Kahn: And the in a big budget show, when you're raising millions of dollars, you've got heads of all these departments. But when you're a one person everything, then you're your own payroll booking agent, press agent, general manager, producer, produce my my other producer on the show today said to me, He's like, producing's just asking people for money and ask and having people ask you for money.

[36:20] Merritt Kahn: That's all producing is you're just the glue between money.

[36:24] Merritt Kahn: But it's everything, but it is, it's everything.

[36:27] Alan Seales: We're gonna take a quick break. Stay tuned for more of the episode.

[36:32] Alan Seales: And now we're back.

[36:34] Merritt Kahn: I did a show in Texas a couple weeks ago, and uh, it's my number, it's literally my cell phone number on the ticketing page.

[36:41] Merritt Kahn: Like, got questions, you know, like tell me.

[36:44] Merritt Kahn: So this one call is like an hour before the show.

[36:47] Merritt Kahn: Like, I'm doing my makeup, the set is like everything's set.

[36:50] Merritt Kahn: And she's like, Um, are there still tickets available at the box office?

[36:54] Merritt Kahn: And I'm like, yes.

[36:55] Merritt Kahn: Uh, there were a few tickets left, and she goes, and then she hangs, she's like, Great, okay, I'm on my way.

[37:01] Merritt Kahn: And then she calls back like two minutes later.

[37:03] Merritt Kahn: Do you offer a military discount?

[37:05] Merritt Kahn: And I go, Well, I don't I don't have a military discount on the page, but sure.

[37:09] Merritt Kahn: I'm sure I can do a military discount.

[37:12] Merritt Kahn: Like just tell them I said so at the box office.

[37:14] Merritt Kahn: And she's like, okay, great.

[37:16] Merritt Kahn: Um, so fast forward.

[37:18] Alan Seales: Does she know she was talking to you?

[37:19] Merritt Kahn: No.

[37:19] Alan Seales: Or is she called a big thing?

[37:20] Merritt Kahn: No, okay, yeah.

[37:21] Merritt Kahn: So in the show, I do a little, there's a moment of interaction with the audience, and I ask, you know, who's been married the longest, and you know, and I have a joke about that.

[37:30] Merritt Kahn: So she she had raised her hand and and she's telling me, um, and I ask, you know, what's your secret?

[37:37] Merritt Kahn: And she's like, Well, you know, my husband's in the military, da-da-da.

[37:41] Merritt Kahn: And I go, Hey, were you the woman that called me right before who asked for the military discount?

[37:45] Merritt Kahn: And she goes, You answered the phone?

[37:48] Merritt Kahn: And I go, Yeah.

[37:50] Merritt Kahn: And when we're done with the show, I'm gonna be picking up the trash under your seat too.

[37:56] Merritt Kahn: Everything, like I'm doing everything, people.

[37:59] Merritt Kahn: Please buy your $30 ticket.

[38:01] Merritt Kahn: Like, I'm a $10,000 keynoter.

[38:04] Merritt Kahn: Buy your $30 ticket.

[38:05] Merritt Kahn: I'm begging for this.

[38:06] Merritt Kahn: It's crazy.

[38:07] Merritt Kahn: It's like, how did this happen?

[38:10] Heather Vickery: So, what are your dreams for the show?

[38:12] Heather Vickery: You're talking about picking it up and moving it.

[38:13] Heather Vickery: I don't know how many places have you performed it so far, and what is it if you could dream without barriers?

[38:19] Merritt Kahn: I love having that conversation.

[38:21] Merritt Kahn: What would what would happen with the show?

[38:23] Merritt Kahn: Well, I do have some good dreams, Heather.

[38:25] Merritt Kahn: Um, first of all, I do see it as a Broadway musical, but um, that's you know, like the narcissist tango.

[38:31] Merritt Kahn: I've got all kinds of ideas in my head, but I don't know how to write music, so that'll have to happen when someone else takes this wherever it's gonna go.

[38:37] Merritt Kahn: Connector with Drew Gasparini.

[38:39] Merritt Kahn: I would I would love for I would love for this to grow beyond me.

[38:44] Merritt Kahn: Um so I first of all, I love performing this show, and I think I could do this for another 15 years with no problem.

[38:50] Merritt Kahn: Um, but I'm I'm also writing the next piece.

[38:54] Merritt Kahn: So my show goes through the the first 50 years of my life.

[38:57] Merritt Kahn: Well, I'm 56 now, so there's some new comedy coming.

[39:01] Merritt Kahn: So I see it as right now it's a one-act show, it'll be a two-act show, and and so on.

[39:06] Merritt Kahn: But I'd love to have I'd love to watch a really professionally trained actor play me, yeah in the show, and I'd love to.

[39:14] Alan Seales: Who would you cast?

[39:16] Alan Seales: Judging just by the spunk and the height, Kristen Chenowith, straight away.

[39:20] Merritt Kahn: Oh my god, that would be unreal.

[39:23] Merritt Kahn: Oh, yes.

[39:24] Merritt Kahn: Uh Kristen, if you're listening.

[39:26] Merritt Kahn: Call me, babe.

[39:28] Merritt Kahn: Let's talk.

[39:28] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[39:31] Merritt Kahn: Um circle back, circular construction, love that.

[39:34] Merritt Kahn: Um, that would be super fun.

[39:36] Merritt Kahn: Yeah, I would love to have a touring cast of like so you could see optimistic personality disorder all over with different cast members.

[39:45] Merritt Kahn: I think that would be super fun.

[39:46] Merritt Kahn: And then, of course, the the premium version would be me.

[39:49] Merritt Kahn: Um that's right.

[39:50] Merritt Kahn: See the original in the so then performing this for people in in front of Room Full Strangers is obviously different from experiencing it and having it be your real life.

[40:00] Merritt Kahn: So, like, did was it cathartic for you to be able to put it out there?

[40:04] Merritt Kahn: Or what what did you learn about yourself observing people learning about you?

[40:08] Merritt Kahn: Well, yes, comedy has been incredibly cathartic to me.

[40:13] Merritt Kahn: In fact, it was my first stand-up set ever, which was back in 2014.

[40:19] Merritt Kahn: Um, that was the very first time I ever said anything about growing up with a gay dad.

[40:25] Merritt Kahn: And, you know, my dad came out to me in the 80s when it was not cool.

[40:31] Merritt Kahn: And not only and I and I was a teenager.

[40:34] Merritt Kahn: So, you know, like add in all of that drama, but you know, now it's like, what do you mean you don't have somebody gay in your family?

[40:41] Merritt Kahn: Like, what a weird family.

[40:43] Merritt Kahn: Like, you know, but back then it was like, oh my God, please don't tell, please don't tell the Lewises, like they're my best friends, and oof, this would be bad.

[40:52] Merritt Kahn: So, you know, there is just it, it's a release.

[40:55] Merritt Kahn: And so when I could finally, you know, m transition from pretending I had this great marriage uh to letting people know, like, oh no, no, no.

[41:05] Merritt Kahn: It it was really difficult.

[41:07] Merritt Kahn: Like being married to a narcissist, that is next level difficult.

[41:11] Merritt Kahn: And and it was embarrassing to me because like I'm a how did I get myself in this situation?

[41:17] Heather Vickery: Yes, girl, yes.

[41:18] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[41:19] Merritt Kahn: And so, you know, there was a lot, a lot of that.

[41:21] Merritt Kahn: Now I'm I'm super excited because uh in a couple of months, my son, who is 22 now, is gonna see my show for the very first time.

[41:30] Heather Vickery: And I can assume your ex is his father.

[41:33] Merritt Kahn: Yes.

[41:35] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[41:36] Merritt Kahn: I wrote a book that's like that.

[41:37] Merritt Kahn: I was like, Yeah.

[41:39] Merritt Kahn: But but I, you know, I think that it'll it'll be interesting to see, you know, there's things about his mom he does not know.

[41:46] Merritt Kahn: And there are some racy things I probably should have kept to myself.

[41:51] Heather Vickery: Well, he's a bit he's a big boy.

[41:53] Heather Vickery: It'll be fun.

[41:55] Merritt Kahn: Um, but yeah, it is it is really cathartic.

[41:57] Merritt Kahn: And that's why I want to write, you know, I want to keep writing.

[41:59] Merritt Kahn: I want to keep adding to my life story because life, life is better and interesting and and there's a whole new dimension.

[42:07] Merritt Kahn: Because when I what I discovered for myself was, you know, people can say you can't change your past, but I'm proof.

[42:13] Merritt Kahn: You can rewrite the narrative of your past through a lens of optimism and humor and it absolutely can shift your your future so that's that's the whole point of the show.

[42:24] Merritt Kahn: It's I'm that and I think you know circling back to like all the other experiences I had, you know, not just speaking on stages, but my core my you know business background is really as a trainer and coach.

[42:37] Merritt Kahn: So I developed a whole workshop around helping other people look at their life story and rewriting it through a lens of comedy so that they can rewire and reset their own future.

[42:48] Merritt Kahn: And that's probably I don't know I'm I haven't done a ton of those I call it the work show experience because it's not a workshop and it's not just a show.

[42:58] Merritt Kahn: You need both of those pieces.

[42:59] Merritt Kahn: So it's a work show experience.

[43:01] Merritt Kahn: And it's like nothing I've ever been to and I'm a personal growth junkie.

[43:06] Merritt Kahn: But it's kind of like you know if personal growth had better lighting and punchlines it would be you know this.

[43:12] Merritt Kahn: So I'm really excited because I think that's just a whole nother well it's a whole nother revenue stream from a producer mindset.

[43:19] Merritt Kahn: But it's also it's really more than that it's a it's an opportunity to make a difference for people beyond the entertaining experience.

[43:26] Merritt Kahn: And that's what really lights me up.

[43:28] Heather Vickery: So here's what's so fast I love all of that.

[43:30] Heather Vickery: What's so fascinating about that is um so I'm certified NLP practitioner so neurolinguistic programming.

[43:37] Heather Vickery: And what you're describing is something that we do when we're doing subconscious reprogramming and I just did it yesterday with a a client who we were working on releasing all sorts of things and it's all really fun, cool stuff, which actually merit, I think you'd be into.

[43:51] Heather Vickery: And she goes, but there's this one memory though that I just can't get past.

[43:56] Heather Vickery: And so I did something called shifting your submodalities, which is what you're talking about, right?

[44:01] Heather Vickery: You're you're not changing, you're not erasing the fact that this experience happened.

[44:05] Heather Vickery: You're changing the way you interact with that experience at this stage in your life.

[44:12] Heather Vickery: So the way how much weight you let it carry in your life.

[44:17] Heather Vickery: And so we go in and we'll say, call, you know, if you have a past memory, is it a picture?

[44:21] Heather Vickery: Yes, is it in color?

[44:23] Heather Vickery: Yes, is it moving?

[44:25] Heather Vickery: Yes.

[44:25] Heather Vickery: Okay, well, let's try making it black and white.

[44:28] Heather Vickery: And now let's make it still.

[44:29] Heather Vickery: And we just shift it until I'm like, does it how does that feel now?

[44:32] Heather Vickery: Oh, it doesn't feel like it matters as much.

[44:35] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[44:36] Merritt Kahn: Right.

[44:36] Merritt Kahn: So when you're rewriting that story, that's you're you're shifting on a neurological level.

[44:41] Merritt Kahn: Absolutely.

[44:42] Merritt Kahn: And it's a very, very cool trick that really anybody can do with something that's um taking up what I call too much emotional real estate and just doesn't, it just doesn't need to.

[44:52] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[44:53] Merritt Kahn: There's um, there's uh I I research uh different things.

[44:58] Merritt Kahn: Uh I've been researching PTSD and um some different things like that.

[45:03] Merritt Kahn: And there's programs um in the military, or maybe not in the military, but like for military people who suffer from those traumas, and and humor has been a very effective way for them to rewrite those memories and see them differently.

[45:22] Merritt Kahn: It just it humor just loosens the grip.

[45:25] Merritt Kahn: And I think you know, we hold on to like this is how it was.

[45:28] Merritt Kahn: Like I have I have a very um uh painful story.

[45:32] Merritt Kahn: I haven't put it, it's not in my show yet.

[45:35] Merritt Kahn: And uh it's been something I've been thinking about and how do how do I want to say it and i and i'm not sure I honestly had gotten to all the humor in it yet.

[45:43] Merritt Kahn: So until I get to the humor in it it's not really appropriate to share it with my audience because it's not for you to figure out the funny it's it's for me to do that it doesn't feel funny yet yeah yeah but there was a painful time in my life as a teenager when my mom and I had this huge rift and you know she'll say I left her and I say she kicks me out and you know we really never will see eye to eye on the events of what happened that night but happily we have a great relationship now we're very close we've kind of left that one in the past but it it was interesting because when she saw the show she goes she was wondering if I would have included that and I didn't and it was a very deliberate choice not to include that it just didn't f it didn't follow the arc of the story it wasn't really important to that particular part of the story but as I write as I continue to write and I'm looking at you know abandonment issues or you know differ different things that are I'm noticing as I'm looking back as you know pulling out some of the other themes there's going to be humor about it.

[46:47] Merritt Kahn: And I just I just think when you know you have to be kind of ready ready to let it let it loosen up a little bit.

[46:55] Merritt Kahn: And when you bring that readiness energy then you will find you will find some new ways of looking at it.

[47:03] Merritt Kahn: But I'm really intrigued by the work you do.

[47:04] Heather Vickery: So yeah sign me up.

[47:05] Merritt Kahn: Let's do it.

[47:06] Merritt Kahn: Yeah yeah yeah let's set up a call it's really cool.

[47:08] Alan Seales: Fun stuff all right so then you know what's coming the last question I always love to ask is what is your relationship with failure?

[47:15] Merritt Kahn: Oh, I don't have any, Alan.

[47:16] Merritt Kahn: I just everything I do is wildly successful.

[47:19] Merritt Kahn: Next question.

[47:22] Merritt Kahn: Darling, everything I've ever done that's been successful was a failure.

[47:27] Merritt Kahn: My relationship with failure.

[47:29] Merritt Kahn: Well, I the first thing that popped into my head was uh the first time I really bombed on a stand-up stage.

[47:38] Merritt Kahn: And every stand-up comedian will tell you they had that moment.

[47:41] Merritt Kahn: If they haven't had it, they haven't been doing it long enough.

[47:44] Merritt Kahn: Um I remember I I had a business engagement in Toronto, Canada.

[47:49] Merritt Kahn: So while I was in town, I call up this club and I said, Hey, I'm a visiting comic and I'd like to have a few minutes on your stage.

[47:55] Merritt Kahn: Great.

[47:56] Merritt Kahn: At that point, all of my jokes were on my shitty marriage.

[47:59] Merritt Kahn: Oh, can I say that?

[48:00] Alan Seales: Yes.

[48:01] Merritt Kahn: You can back to marriage.

[48:03] Merritt Kahn: Yeah.

[48:03] Merritt Kahn: Yes, okay.

[48:06] Merritt Kahn: So I uh so who comes to a comedy club at 10:30 at night on a Wednesday?

[48:11] Merritt Kahn: Not the married people.

[48:13] Merritt Kahn: Um so my jokes were completely unrelatable, and they were mean.

[48:18] Merritt Kahn: Like I'm in Canada where everybody's nice.

[48:20] Merritt Kahn: So two women are sitting in the front row, and I can hear them talking to each other during my set.

[48:29] Merritt Kahn: And one of them says to the other, she's kind of mean. And uh, and it was in that moment I was like, oh, oh, I am bombing. I'm bombing. Get it in your bones, feel it so you don't have to go through this again. But like, this is it. This is the moment. And so I like knew it in the moment. And then I realized I looked back and I go, okay, it's not relatable. It really wasn't funny because it was still painful. Yeah. And I recognized in that moment, like I'm not ready to tell those particular stories. And uh, and actually it was my comedy coach that told me my marriage wasn't gonna make it because my jokes kept getting meaner. You know, at first it was like, my husband is great and he thinks so too.

And then, you know, I I don't even remember the joke, but she forbid me to do it on stage. Cause it was like, your audience will be uncomfortable, you can't go there, it's not funny. And I'm like, oh yeah, it is. Like so, but failure, I think what I do now, because I had that experience of rewriting my life story and looking at the ups and downs. I've noticed that I always bounce back after bad things. It's like, you know, it's just the way that life goes. Yeah. And so I was able to kind of take a step back. And studying positive psychology doesn't hurt because I know that it's not permanent. You know, it's just temporary moments where you're not, you know, in flow or whatever. But I learned that those lower moments were the ones that I was dwelling on.

And I I have learned to allow the good times to, you know, really take over and let me really feel those good experiences so that I know that that one's coming after I'm in a a down period of life because it's seasonal.

[50:20] Heather Vickery: I'm so glad that you said that because I really think everybody needs to hear that. Everything is temporary.

[50:27] Merritt Kahn: Oh, you know what? I here's a little sound bite for you. Um, you know, we've always heard tragedy plus time equals comedy. Yep. Nobody said it had to take a long time. Oh. Right? It's good. That's a mic drop moment. Maybe that'll be our open, our show open right there. There. Yeah. And that's that's really my life, my my motto now is, you know, it doesn't have to take a long time. Now there are there are deep tragedies that need to be mourned, and let's not sugarcoat them. But, you know, from for a lot of us, uh outside of those big things, you know, we don't have to relate to everything like it's this big drama. Like it's you can find the funny fast. You just have to train yourself to how to do that. And that's what comedians do. And that's changed my worldview, and and that's what I will say about that.

[51:16] Alan Seales: I love that. Okay, so Merritt, I want you to tell people how they can connect with you and follow you and come see your show. But before we do that, could you grace us with your rendition of shut the fuck up, Alan?

[51:30] Merritt Kahn: Oh yes, I've been waiting for this moment. Well, I I kind of feel like shut the fuck, Alan uh Alan has more like a rock vibe. So I'm going with like, shut, shut the fuck up. Alan, shut the fuck up. You better shut the fuck up, Alan. You better shut the fuck up, Alan. You better shut the fuck up.

[52:01] Merritt Kahn: By the way, I do I do rap in my show. And it's very funny, but uh I I should have put together a whole rap for you, but that's okay. This was it was great. So how can folks follow you and connect and and if come see the show?

[52:14] Merritt Kahn: And what if they're not in Denver? Uh yes, come see the show. Go to opdshow.com. That's the that's the best way to get it in all the notes, folks. Yes, perfect. And you'll find tickets for uh all upcoming shows, even my mom's unhinged shows and other things that I'm doing and the workshops, everything's on there.

[52:32] Merritt Kahn: Buy some Avon from your mom and buy Avon from your mom, yes. Yes. Uh, and then um I am Merritt Kahn on all the socials. So M-E-R-I-T-K-A-H-N, Instagram, Facebook, um, LinkedIn. Just keep it easy.

[52:48] Alan Seales: Excellent. Awesome. Well, I, you know, one of these days I'll get to see the show. I can't wait. You are a delight. This was so much fun. I hope we can stay connected. Thank you so much for being here.

[52:58] Merritt Kahn: Well, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure.

[53:00] Merritt Kahn: And and a chance encounter.

[53:02] Alan Seales: A chance encounter. I dig it.

[53:08] Merritt Kahn: We are waiting for it to this is the song.

[53:15] Merritt Kahn: I sing while I wait for it too. But it's started 11 seconds ago. I'm waiting for it to come in so I can make sure. There we go. We're started now.

[53:29] Merritt Kahn: That was I just saw a whole show flash before my eyes.

[53:33] Alan Seales: You want to see me flash you playing like a five-year-old version of you.

[53:44] Merritt Kahn: There it is.

[53:46] Alan Seales: There it is. Oh man. Merritt's cool. Merritt's cool people. I feel like either I need to move to Colorado or she needs to move to New York, or we all need to hang out in Chicago.

[53:56] Heather Vickery: Yeah, we just come to Chicago and let's hang out.

[53:58] Merritt Kahn: Okay.

[53:59] Alan Seales: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was cool. I want to go see her show so badly.

[54:03] Heather Vickery: Me too. We were just talking about it. Maybe she'll bring the show to us.

[54:07] Alan Seales: Well, that's what I we were talking about. That after we stopped recording in between the interview and now, that maybe like as a pr and uh buddying producer here in New York, I could try to bring out, bring her out here and do something small.

[54:19] Heather Vickery: That's what I told her. I got a guy.

[54:20] Alan Seales: I got a guy.

[54:21] Heather Vickery: It's you. You're my guy.

[54:23] Alan Seales: It's one of those things where I'm like, oh, I could do that. And then after I say that, I'm like, oh shit. I guess I could do that.

[54:30] Heather Vickery: Correct. That is the generator in you, my dear.

[54:32] Alan Seales: Oh, I could do that. I can see I could fix that. I could do that.

[54:35] Heather Vickery: That goes back to what we were talking about in the interview where you know the quantum stuff of like the less you worry about it, the more it happens, right?

[54:40] Alan Seales: I'm and and sometimes I'm like, I need to stop saying yes to everything. I need to stop. But the stuff that should happen ends up happening.

[54:47] Heather Vickery: That's right.

[54:47] Alan Seales: And the stuff that shouldn't. And I need to just be okay with not stressing about worrying about if I'm gonna make it happen. Does that make sense?

[54:55] Heather Vickery: Yes.

[54:56] Alan Seales: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[54:57] Heather Vickery: Yes.

[54:58] Alan Seales: Oh wow. I can't even picture a world with a less stressed Alan. What would that even look like?

[55:03] Heather Vickery: A lot of uh let's see, many gummies, a lot of gummies.

[55:08] Alan Seales: Yeah, I've sure.

[55:10] Heather Vickery: Um let's see, Uber, Uber XL.

[55:16] Alan Seales: Uber blow.

[55:17] Heather Vickery: Well, and what's funny about that is you're such a chill guy. You're so laid back. I I never find you like high strung energy wise, except I know you so well, and I always know that your stress levels are through the roof.

[55:31] Alan Seales: Well, it's it's weird because okay, it takes a lot to get me stress stressed, but I'm always thinking about 10 different things, like keeping all the 10 or 20 plates in the air, spinning in the air at one time.

[55:41] Heather Vickery: That's the hard part.

[55:42] Alan Seales: And that's that's I couldn't do that. And it's funny because my my my younger one, my nine year old, was listening to a video, a YouTube video on 2x speed the other day. And I was like, dude, Jackson, is that like is that the video that faster? He's like, No, I just listen to it this fast. It helps me get through it faster. And I'm like, you can understand it. He goes, Yeah, of course. Can you? I said, Yes. And I thought I was the only one who listened to videos like that. Like I listen usually between 1.6 and 1.8 to audiobooks. Not quite two. I can't usually quite do two.

[56:10] Heather Vickery: I edit it to X.

[56:12] Alan Seales: Like when we're editing this podcast and everything, I go at 2X because it like it just I I can't I'm sure you would have to.

[56:18] Heather Vickery: You'd have to train yourself to do that. Or otherwise it would take up more time than you have.

[56:22] Alan Seales: That's true. That's true.

[56:23] Heather Vickery: Anyway, well, Merit is very cool.

[56:25] Alan Seales: Very cool.

[56:26] Heather Vickery: I I just love like that she went into this whole training or the the whole path of her career of like sales into training, incorporating performance and comedy. And it's as one of the people who strives to always be happy and do things that bring passion to my life. She has found a way to combine everything she likes into this one channel.

[56:48] Alan Seales: And I love it.

[56:49] Heather Vickery: Which opens it up to even more channels. You never know.

[56:51] Alan Seales: It's just that reminder, right? That you're not stuck and that there are all sorts of ways you can emerge from whatever is happening in your life, right? Like you you can show up differently, you can change things, you can shift things, you can write a different story and you can turn it into a one-act play.

[57:17] Heather Vickery: Nobody gay at all.

[57:18] Alan Seales: Maybe you just don't know.

[57:19] Heather Vickery: Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking. I was I was trying to think about about all the people in my family, the my extended family too. And I don't know a single person who's even been outward like uh publicly bisexual, let alone homosexual.

[57:35] Alan Seales: Maybe that's because those southern roots are still closeted.

[57:38] Heather Vickery: Yeah.

[57:39] Alan Seales: Yeah, that's that has a lot of something, I'm sure.

[57:43] Heather Vickery: But yeah, but yeah, I don't know.

[57:45] Alan Seales: Maybe we're just no, but I mean that's I think about her going through that. And this is my kids' similar story, right? My kids were, they were not teenagers when I came out, but little, and they um it didn't fit. I was gonna tell the story during the interview, but it didn't fit. But my middle two kids used to laugh. They're like, Oh, you know how people throw insults like at recess. They're like, oh my god. Like your mama's so your mom's gay. And my kids are like, Yeah, so what? She was like, it really throws them off because they think that they're hurting you. And then you're like, Yeah, she actually is.

[58:19] Heather Vickery: Yeah, so is that funny?

[58:21] Alan Seales: Yeah. That's funny. I that's what I tell the t tids sometimes like if anyone's making fun of you, just like you agree with them and it it'll take the wind out of their sails right away.

[58:23] Heather Vickery: Right away.

[58:31] Alan Seales: Yep. Hundred percent are doing is looking after going after the reaction.

[58:36] Heather Vickery: Yes.

[58:37] Alan Seales: Speaking of reacting, if you're reacting to this episode, how do you let us know?

[58:42] Heather Vickery: You can let us know by dropping an email. We are wasitchancepodcast@gmail.com.

[58:48] Alan Seales: Yes, we are.

[58:48] Heather Vickery: Or you can find us on the socials. We're on TikTok, LinkedIn, threads, and Instagram at wasitchance, and I'm on Substack. Alan, we need to get your ass on Substack. But I'm on Substack.

[59:01] Heather Vickery: Um and I have the reading well and radical Ease publications, and um c just come and hang out and tell us. But you know what we would really like? Do you know what we would really like, folks? Readings and reviews.

[59:10] Alan Seales: Ratings and reviews.

[59:12] Heather Vickery: Ratings and reviews.

[59:13] Alan Seales: Because our our little egos are t a tiny bit sensitive and we need to know that you like us.

[59:19] Heather Vickery: Plus like me, they really like me.

[59:22] Alan Seales: Podcasts with door ratings.

[59:23] Heather Vickery: You know.

[59:24] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[59:25] Heather Vickery: We want to get out there.

[59:26] Alan Seales: It would be cool.

[59:26] Heather Vickery: We would appreciate it.

[59:27] Alan Seales: Um, and if you know somebody who might be a great guest on the show, you can send us an email. Let us know.

[59:31] Heather Vickery: Uh, we creativity means all sorts of things, right? So come and hang out.

[59:38] Alan Seales: Hey, you've been listening to Was It Chance, the podcast about taking intentional risk for your creative life.

[59:43] Heather Vickery: I don't have it in front of me.

[59:44] Alan Seales: Success.

[59:45] Heather Vickery: I don't know. How many other episodes have we done?

[59:49] Alan Seales: It's close.

[59:50] Heather Vickery: That's close.

[59:50] Alan Seales: I'm close.

[1:00:01] Alan Seales: You've been listening to Was It Chance, the podcast about embracing opportunity and taking intentional risks for your creative life.

[1:00:10] Heather Vickery: That's what I said.

[1:00:10] Alan Seales: I'm Alan Seales.

[1:00:12] Heather Vickery: I'm Heather Vickery.

[1:00:13] Alan Seales: See you next time.

[1:00:14] Heather Vickery: Bye, folks.