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[0:17] Chaz Wolfe: So um to fast forward just a little bit, um, I get a hold of him. Um it took me 11 phone calls over three days, right? So I'm in sales at the time, I'm a cold call or machine. I gotta, you know, I gotta I got a call chart, you know, tree, how to make a phone call. If they say this and you say this, like I'm a master, right? This is what I do now. I train salespeople, I train business owners, like this is what I do now. But even back then, that was my perspective of okay, I gotta call this guy. I gotta say something. Well, first off, I don't know. Is he married? Was he married then? Like, am I gonna destroy a family? Even if he wasn't married then, what is she gonna think? Is he married? Does he have kids?

Am I gonna ruin a family? Pick up the phone 11 times thinking that right there, that weight of what is gonna happen 11 times, and it's voicemail, or oh, you just missed him. Do you want to leave a message? No, thanks. I'll call back. When is he gonna be back? Six o'clock. Call back six o'clock, no one answers. Uh, call the next day, eight a.m. or whatever, like 11 times, not catching him. Hey, you want to leave a message? No. What I know now is that I ended up talking to his wife. I talked to my younger brother. Oh my god. My younger sister. Like all the people who are trying to right, leave a take a message, and uh, oh yeah, let me leave a message. Hey, um, I think he might be my dad. Maybe have him give me a call.

Like, no, right? So um, we eventually get on the phone. Um, I basically let him know that no, I got no, no, no, no, no, you got to set this call up. Now we didn't wait 11 times. Take it through the call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so the call, like well, each each call was pretty quick. Like, no, I don't want to leave a message, I'll call back. Thanks, and then and then hang up. So the emotions of each of those 11 calls was like hot heartbeating, uncertain about what's gonna happen. Am I gonna, you know, ruin a family? Like what is gonna come out of this? Because my life, his life, and maybe others is about to change dramatically, right? The weight of that is what happened each of those 11 phone calls.

Finally, when he I finally had to leave a message at his office, his clinic. And I was like, look, my name is Chaz. Um, it's not an emergency, but it's important that he call me. Please have him call me at this number. And so he called me. I now know that he was thinking that I was a salesman. And you are. I guess I was. I guess I was. And so um, you know, my my opener, if you will, um, was to let him know that uh who I was, you know, hey, look, um, Jay, I'm I'm 24 years old. Um, I'm married, I own my own home. Um, I'm I'm a successful sales manager. I make over six figures. I'm 24 years old. Um, been married now for three years. Um, I am I'm a I'm I've got two side businesses. You know, um, so I wanted him to know that I didn't want anything.

You know, I didn't want him to run away thinking this he's after a payday, you know what I mean? Right. But he's listening, going, who is this person telling me on this? Seriously, literally. And so he literally says eventually, so so Chaz, um, what like why are you telling me all this? What what is the purpose of this phone call? And I said, Well, here's the deal. I know some information about you. Um, I was talking to my mom the other day, Lisa Gidry, and I kind of like paused. Did it did he have any response to Lisa Gidry? Nothing. Nope. Nope. Nope. Um, uh, and and and so I said, I know that you went to school um in Columbia, Missouri. You went to Bizzo as a vet school. I know where you used to live in an area that was uh kind of like a trailer park area that's now uh an apartment complex.

I know that you used to frequent a um a dance hall. Okay, I'm like one to get like stalker call stalker on the phone, stalker. Yep, yep. And I said, all of that to say I've got pretty good reason to believe that you might be my biological father. And his face, I'm sure looks similar to yours at the moment. And so before I tell you what he says to me, um it's funny because in this moment, um my my wife and then my best friend at the time, very similar personalities, different than mine. I'm like I told you, logical, calm, not calm, I'm I'm intense, but like straightforward. Okay. They're both uh super lively, fun, like engagement, back and forth. And I'm a man of few words outside of a story like this.

I'm tense. And and so they're upset with me constantly about when they would say, Hey, what do you think about blah blah blah? Whatever it is. And I'm like, hmm, that's interesting. And they're like, Well, wait, what does that mean? Are like is that your BS call? Is that like you're not interested? Are you are you interested? Like, give me some emotion. I'm like, I mean, it's just interesting. Like, eh, you know, it's my man or could be my BS call, like, hmm, that's interesting. Like, I don't know whether to believe you or not, you know. Anyway, it was a long, it was a long-standing story of, hmm, that's interesting. Is not a response that my wife and my best friend liked. It was like known.

It was known. Oh shit. You already know. So I say, I think you might be my biological father. And he goes, hmm, that's interesting. I literally in my mind, I didn't say it out loud. I go, oh my goodness, I don't even need a DNA test. Nope. Done. Done. I got the picture. He said, that's interesting. I already know. So anyway, he says, he says, he says, then, look, I okay, Chaz. Um first off, I appreciate you sharing. Obviously, you're looking for your your dad. Um, I can respect that. You know, if uh if I were in your shoes, I'd want to know too. And to be frank with you, if I'm not, then you need to keep looking. And if I am, I would want to know that. I'm just like, whoa, right. I'm planning for this call thinking he might hang up.

He may not have anything to do with me. He may not want to tell his wife. He may just say, hey, dude, I don't know if this is true or not. Maybe it is, but I don't want to have anything to do with you. Click. Right? How many times do we hear that? Yeah. As the outcome. And so um, the fact that he is initially was, well, I should probably go talk to my wife. And then in addition to that, I'm like a logical guy like you. Yep. Yep. We need to do a DNA test. And I go, well, that's exactly what we need to do. Uh, I just wasn't sure. I I literally said, I was like, I just don't want to say anything in the current moment that makes you um run away. Like, if you want me to send you a letter, I'll send you some pictures.

Like, we can go as slow as you want. He's like, Well, I mean, do a DNA test, and that way we know. And because if, because if I'm not, then you need to keep looking. And and if I am, well, I need to know that. I would want to know that. And so um, we got off that phone uh call with him gonna go talk to his wife and us gonna talk again in a couple of days. We ended up setting up the DNA test, which obviously came back, you know, 99.999 and then all the way across the page. I don't know if those things like fluctuate or uh or not, but it was like literally 999999 all the way across the page. Um, and so we go and meet him, you know, and I kind of alluded to that first meeting um a few minutes ago.

We drove uh to Nebraska and and had a uh phenomenal time. Wow, you know, all the way down from like, okay, do I shake his hand? Do I give him a hug? Oh do I like what do I do? Um, what do I say? Is he gonna is he gonna be interested? Like, what's what's everything else look like? So in this moment when I'm telling him about the DNA test, um, which I find out that he after that phone call called the company just to make sure. Which is something I totally would have done. I gotta make sure that uh that uh you know that uh we're we're in a in a scenario where this is truth, right? And so um we uh we meet, we we go through that process. Um he tells me hug, how'd it go? Shake hug. Yeah. So I told my wife, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna stick my hand out, and then I'm gonna slightly lean in for the bro hug to see what he does.

If he if he comes in too, I'll wrap around for the for the for the hug, the for the bro hug. But if he doesn't, then I'll just you know shake his hand, you know. And so I lean in, he shakes my hand, I kind of lean in a little bit, he leans them a little bit, we give a hug. Now here's the here's here's the other kind of funny moment because that like what you just say is oh like that's amazing. Father, son hugging for the first time. And it was it literally was amazing. I'm six five, six foot five. He's five nine. Oh, not everything, not everything. No, and so from as much of it was like this totally impactful moment, it was it was different. It was odd because typically you think of it as the reverse.

Exactly. And so um it that it's just been an amazing time. So I've I have I have three younger sisters, wow, and a younger brother. I have an aunt, cousins, grandma, grandpa. I would have been the first grandson of the family. My grandmother went like seven granddaughters before her first her first grandson, but I I would have been the first grandchild and grandson. And so I think she was a little bit um undone about the whole thing for a long time about wow, like kind of all these years that I missed. Um you know, but but it is what it is. Like we can only we can only take our circumstances and use them to propel us forward. That is because if we dwell, then it then it then we just get stuck, you know.

[9:46] Tonya Pinkins: I love that story. I love that story so much. And you know, I could see you as an actor, you've just got such a great personal thing. I'm sure you could sell a bear some fur. Um tell me what your different companies do.

[10:04] Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, so uh we own five locations of edible arrangements. You're probably familiar with that brand. So we're franchisee. Um, we've got some here in the Midwest, and also one in Florida, and um, and then outside of that, we have a real estate company, we own some different real estate assets, and then uh my consulting business does uh consulting for um business owners where we're helping them launch a business, uh, scale a business with sales growth and team members, and then, of course, my background with sales just makes sense. I've created a sales program. We help individual salespeople who want to either get into sales or get better at sales, make more money, um, go to a higher level of performance. That program helps all of those types of people as well.

[10:50] Tonya Pinkins: Give me the three, you know, three keys to starting out and being good at sales.

[10:56] Chaz Wolfe: Yeah. Well, um, you have to be able to realize that sales is service. And so a lot of people don't like they're like, What wait, what? Um, sales initially seems like manipulation or icky or like, oh, I don't want to be sold. Nobody wants to be sold, right? Sales is actually the mastery of getting to know someone and what their need is, and then being able to match it to your product. And if your product doesn't match what they may need, you you let them know that. You just say, unfortunately, I can't help you. Or better yet, I have a I have someone who can let me refer you. Um, where it's honesty, it's it's genuine curiosity, right? You can't find someone's need if you're just trying to sell.

I just want to get a commission, I just want to get a sale, I just want to, you know, get the deal. Um, it's more so about who's in front of me. Okay, so I've got Tanya in front of me. Tanya, uh, you said you wanted to start a business. What kind of business are you looking for? What like what's the goal? Do you want it to be a lifestyle business? Do you want it to create a certain amount of money? Do you want to be able to help people? Like, why would you even do this? And being able to help create a strategy and a plan. But all of that, even on the business side is still sales. It's me getting to know you, understanding what your needs are, or maybe even what your wants are, and then providing a solution to help you get there.

[12:11] Chaz Wolfe: That in its essence is sales. So communication, knowing yourself, knowing personalities, knowing how to communicate, tonality, confidence, authority, all of those things go into being, you know, a master salesperson, if you will, quote unquote.

[12:28] Tonya Pinkins: Is your wife in the business too, or does she do something else?

[12:32] Chaz Wolfe: She was a dental hygienist by trade for many years, still is technically, you know, licensed wise. She's a mom to our beautiful three kids, and she is involved in the businesses to a degree. What we have learned, she helps me out with certain things that are easy for her to do, or not maybe not easy, but things that she can do that are flexible during the day. But what we have learned more than that is our lanes, right? I would say from a husband-wife perspective, we're both logical, but also encouraging to the other person, meaning that there are certain lanes that she owns, and there are certain lanes that I own, right? And we know that obviously, like our opinions or our thoughts to the other person matter in their lane.

But beyond that, the other person's in like that's their lanes. Like, so I'm gonna give her some opinions on maybe what the kids should be eating, or what we should do for dinner, or where we're gonna go on a family vacay, or what the personal calendar might look like, who we might be hanging out with. But I also know that she's gonna come back and be like, nope, that's not what we're doing, or great, thanks for the feedback. You know, it's her lane, right?

[13:40] Chaz Wolfe: And that's allowed us to run really fast in our own lanes and be able to push each other on rather than trying to get tangled up in. I love that idea. It allowed you to run really fast in your own lanes rather than you meant meddling in the other person's lane and throwing obstacles in the path of them doing something that they can execute really well and really quickly if someone just trusts that they're going to do it. That's really what it is. It's trust. It's not so much lack of ego because we both have a big ego, but it's more so trust. Although, yes, could I feed the kids, or could I plan the vacay, or could I take care of whatever in the home or whatever? Yes, of course. I'm completely talented and available.

Could she do the things that I do in my business? If she knew the knowledge about sales, she could, but practically could she teach and coach? And of course, yes, a hundred percent talented. But like you said, it's the trust in the other person. Like, you got it, I believe in you, I trust you so much that I'm gonna stay in my lane so that way you can run fast and I don't get in the way. And then vice versa. It's not just, oh, I'm the man, like da-da-da-da. It's no, no, it's both and it's she's got her lanes, I've got mine, and I respect and trust her just the same in those areas.

[14:54] Chaz Wolfe: Okay, that was tip one. You got me two more tips. Uh, regarding marriage or regarding sales.

[15:02] Tonya Pinkins: All right.

[15:03] Chaz Wolfe: I'm starting my business, my sales, my sales tips. Um, know yourself and know other people. That's huge.

[15:10] Tonya Pinkins: Is that two and three or just two?

[15:13] Chaz Wolfe: What's that?

[15:14] Tonya Pinkins: Is that two and three or just two?

[15:16] Chaz Wolfe: Let's make it two and three because they're completely different, right? You gotta know yourself, you gotta know, you gotta know what you're strong at, what you're weak at, and you got to get better at both. It's okay. So here's me. I get bored really easily. I don't suffer fools, and I'm just blunt to the point of being like a sushi knife.

[15:37] Tonya Pinkins: Yes, yes.

[15:38] Chaz Wolfe: So okay, so if you knew that from a sales perspective, right? Um, I don't know if like on like I would have you take a survey and I'd be able to see your personality and be able to help you, but typically, people who are trying to move on constantly to the next thing actually works out great in sales because you got this hustle, like I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. I want to get the next one, gotta get the next one, and you don't allow the rejection or the I'm not interested, the emotions of the business get in the way. You're just like, that's cool, I'll get him when he's ready, like and move. And I go on to the next one, make another phone call, make another contact, make another meeting, just go, go, go, right? Now, the bluntness can be useful as well because some people appreciate just being straightforward. They don't like the roundabout, like make try to make you feel real fluffy.

[16:22] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, I don't like I don't like it.

[16:24] Chaz Wolfe: But there has to be both. There has to be both. There has to be genuine curiosity. You can't just say, uh, okay, what do you what do you do? Great, I can help you. Well, don't you think I was genuinely curious about you? Of course, yes, a hundred percent. So when you think bluntness, think telling the truth, obviously, but telling it in a way that gets them further down the road, not just what's easy or quick for you. Because typically, when the blunt thing comes, it's because it's easy, it's the path of least resistance for us. Just be like, da-da-da-da-da-da. And it doesn't get received well in because they're not in the right place, and so you got to pay attention to where they are receiving your information.

[17:04] Tonya Pinkins: Okay. Well, I have so enjoyed speaking with you Chaz. What a great story. Is there anything you want to say to the folks on the Broadway Podcast Network about you and your business?

[17:15] Chaz Wolfe: I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I assume that most people on the Broadway network are going to be in some sort of acting or some sort of Broadway.

[17:26] Tonya Pinkins: Absolutely.

[17:26] Chaz Wolfe: And guess what? It's exactly like sales because there's rejection constantly. It's you talking to yourself, telling yourself that you gotta be confident, working yourself up before every sales call or what you guys might think of as an interview or a audition or whatever, right? The only reason that you constantly go back to the thing that keeps kicking you in the face is because you want to be great. Is because there's potential inside of you that you that's burning. And so I would just say that there's always going to be something trying to put that burn out, whether it be the rejection, whether it be failure, whether it be other people talking bad on you. Look, put that thing in front of you that you want, make it so big and loud and scary, even and obsess over it, and you'll have it, period.

[18:15] Tonya Pinkins: I love it. Thank you, Chaz.

[18:16] Chaz Wolfe: Well, this is Tonya Pinkins. You are listening to me at Podcast, my podcast, because you can't say that on the Broadway Podcast Network.

[18:24] Tonya Pinkins: But today we are at Hotmax with Chas.

[18:27] Chaz Wolfe: Well, thank you so much, Chad. Really? Thanks for having me, Tanya. It was a pleasure. I guess we have three more minutes left that we get to just talk to each other.

[18:35] Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, absolutely. That's great.

[18:37] Tonya Pinkins: Um, where are you in the world?

[18:39] Chaz Wolfe: I'm in Kansas City.

[18:40] Chaz Wolfe: Uh Kansas City Mo.

[18:42] Tonya Pinkins: Yes, actually, yes.

[18:43] Chaz Wolfe: Yep. I've uh one a couple of my businesses are on the Kansas side. So I mean, we're the city splits Kansas and Missouri. So are you familiar?

[18:50] Tonya Pinkins: It sounds like maybe a little bit.

[18:51] Chaz Wolfe: I sure am because I own land down in Miller County. I own land down in Kaiser.

[18:53] Tonya Pinkins: Wow.

[18:56] Chaz Wolfe: Okay. Well, how did that how did that happen? That's that's not a New York City thing.

[19:01] Tonya Pinkins: Let me find the middle of nowhere, Missouri.

[19:04] Chaz Wolfe: The poorest county in Missouri. I birthed all of my children at home. And my fourth one I birthed in Mexico, and I met a woman there who was a Catholic nun, and she was doing her year of selfless service to the Mexican people. And she ended up delivering my child.

[19:23] Tonya Pinkins: Wow.

[19:23] Chaz Wolfe: And she lives in Kaiser, and I went to visit her, and we have since traveled the world together. And she and I and another friend own about 70 acres, and she owns another couple hundred acres, and we call it the holy land, and it's a beautiful piece of land that most of it is off the grid. It's a protective place. We don't allow hunting on the land. Of course, we can't protect all of it, but you know, in hunting season, a couple hundred had a deer show up because they're you know, we don't let hunting.

[19:56] Tonya Pinkins: They know, yeah.

[19:58] Chaz Wolfe: Yeah, that's amazing. So I go to Kaiser. The last time I was there is in 2019. I was there.

[20:04] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, yeah.

[20:06] Chaz Wolfe: That's awesome. Well, that's a unique story. My wife also gave birth at home to our three, and so I'm sure she could go rounds and rounds for hours and hours with you on stories, but that's an amazing story that you have there. It's cool that you got to meet someone at such a pivotal moment in now becomes an illegal state, so we and you got to tell me you all gave birth.

[20:25] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, yes, it is. Midwifery is illegal in Missouri.

[20:30] Chaz Wolfe: It is I know it to be true because my midwife who lived there was put on trial.

[20:35] Tonya Pinkins: Maybe at one point, it's not currently though.

[20:37] Chaz Wolfe: Kansas, Missouri, all good to go.

[20:40] Tonya Pinkins: Huh. I'm gonna definitely have because most of the midwives there are gone because they just got um, yeah, and I know home births were so that's how old are your kids?

[20:51] Chaz Wolfe: Seven, five, and two.

[20:53] Tonya Pinkins: Um, our midwife has been around for a long time, and she's connected to doctors in the city, and it's like a real deal, like not secretive thing. So, yeah, I'm so glad to know that the times they have a change because my midwife was put on trial. She was acquitted. We had friends in Nebraska that had that same situation, and they had to, you know, travel basically to be able to make it work. But I know that to be true at some point in some states, right? I don't know if Nebraska's still like that, but yeah, not in Missouri any longer. I don't know when it changed, but there you go.

[21:26] Chaz Wolfe: Fantastic. Well, they're calling us back. Thank you, Chaz.

[21:29] Chaz Wolfe: Thank you, Tanya. See you soon.

[21:33] Tonya Pinkins: Welcome to say well.

[21:37] Tonya Pinkins: Thanks for listening to You Can't SAY THAT, the show where you can. I'm Tonya Pinkins, and You Can't SAY THAT is part of the Broadway Podcast Network. Produced by Dori Berinstein and Alan Seales, edited by Derek Gunther, with music by Cat Dale. If you like what you hear, don't forget to subscribe and rate this podcast highly wherever you stream. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at Tonya Pinkins. And to learn more, visit BPN dot F M forward slash Y C S T.

[22:20] Tonya Pinkins: Stay safe. You was smart. You is important. You is dead. Tonya Pinkins' horror film Red Pill brings African American perspective to progressive movement. We are a majority in this country. Win the election. Do you know what the red pill is? A red pill is someone who infiltrates a group and then destroys them from the inside. This place is spooky. Some people like to live dangerously. Yes, why are you so jumpy tonight? You know what, guys? I'm gonna go back tomorrow. Did you hear about the creature woman that attacked a father and son hunting down here? I don't see the case. This place creeps me out. I think we should call the sheriff's office. The only people missing or dead are brown people. They're after all of us. What do we do, Amelia? We die. But we take some of them with us.

[23:57] Tonya Pinkins: Hi, I'm Tonya Pinkins, and I would love to hear from you. You can text me at 917-724-8998. Tell me what you're up to, and I'll let you know what I'm up to. Text me.