This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Brad Forenza: Five minutes to places for Ms. Cooper and Ms. Cox. Thank you, Five, and welcome everyone to Around the Sun, an episodic audio drama created by me, Brad Forenza. This episode, Off-Broadway, stars Lilli Cooper and Veanne Cox. It begs the question, what do you need to create? Join the conversation using hashtag Around the Sun podcast.

[0:35] Unknown speaker: It is just after closing at the Bard's Diner, Off-Broadway. Two servers preset tables in anticipation of the morning rush. One strikes a pose.

[0:45] Unknown speaker: Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by the sun of York, and all the clouds that lured upon our house in the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

[1:06] Unknown speaker: Beautiful.

[1:09] Unknown speaker: But was it truthful?

[1:10] Unknown speaker: Squeaky clean, just like these tables should be.

[1:14] Unknown speaker: One more time, B. I have an audition tomorrow.

[1:16] Unknown speaker: Remember, we're servers too, and Mr. Dimopoulos wants these tables preset for the matinee rush.

[1:23] Unknown speaker: I've been waiting tables all night. You've been sitting at the register.

[1:27] Unknown speaker: And in time, you can work register too.

[1:30] Unknown speaker: The other waitstaff went home hours ago.

[1:32] Unknown speaker: The other waitstaff are just actors. They've been high since mid-shift.

[1:37] Unknown speaker: But you, you're a true Shakespearean server.

[1:42] Unknown speaker: I'm an actor.

[1:44] Unknown speaker: You're a Shakespearean server.

[1:47] Unknown speaker: Most people can do one or the other, not both.

[1:49] Unknown speaker: You have a special vocation. You remind me of me.

[1:54] Unknown speaker: I have a lot riding on this audition, B.

[1:56] Unknown speaker: I thought you gave up your side hustle.

[1:59] Unknown speaker: It's not my side hustle. It's my life.

[2:02] Unknown speaker: Get your head out of the clouds. Serving pays the rent.

[2:05] Unknown speaker: To be or not to be?

[2:07] Unknown speaker: No!

[2:08] Unknown speaker: That is the question.

[2:10] Unknown speaker: I said get your head out of the clouds!

[2:12] Unknown speaker: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

[2:17] Unknown speaker: Clouds!

[2:17] Unknown speaker: ...or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.

[2:22] Unknown speaker: Mr. Dimopoulos gives us everything we need.

[2:26] Unknown speaker: We got the best job security in the whole theater district.

[2:29] Unknown speaker: I didn't come to New York to be a server.

[2:32] Unknown speaker: Well, excuse me, fancy pants, but this isn't a hole-in-the-wall food truck.

[2:36] Unknown speaker: This is the Bard's Diner.

[2:39] Unknown speaker: Why, then the world's mine oyster.

[2:41] Unknown speaker: That's right.

[2:42] Unknown speaker: But I still have to prep for tomorrow.

[2:44] Unknown speaker: You have to get your head out of the clouds is what you have to do.

[2:48] Unknown speaker: How many meals did you get wrong tonight?

[2:51] Unknown speaker: I was trying to memorize.

[2:53] Unknown speaker: Stay in the moment. That's the first rule of our trade.

[2:57] Unknown speaker: This is not my trade.

[2:59] Unknown speaker: Every table is unique. You gotta feel them out.

[3:03] Unknown speaker: Especially if you want to move ahead here.

[3:05] Unknown speaker: I want to get out of here and be a serious actor.

[3:08] Unknown speaker: And how many serious actors do you think there are in this city?

[3:12] Unknown speaker: I don't know. Thousands?

[3:14] Unknown speaker: Tens of thousands. But how many Shakespearean servers are there? Good ones.

[3:20] Unknown speaker: Two?

[3:21] Unknown speaker: That's right. And they're both here in this room pre-setting tables. Why?

[3:24] Unknown speaker: Because an actor prepares.

[3:26] Unknown speaker: But what are we preparing for?

[3:29] Unknown speaker: Our big break. Broadway is three blocks away.

[3:32] Unknown speaker: You never know who your next customer might be.

[3:34] Unknown speaker: Sweet are the uses of adversity.

[3:36] Unknown speaker: Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in her head.

[3:43] Unknown speaker: This place wasn't always a Shakespeare joint, you know.

[3:46] Unknown speaker: Mr. Demopolis initially cast me to sing and serve on roller skates.

[3:49] Unknown speaker: Then we tried disco and he had me blow my hair out real big.

[3:53] Unknown speaker: But this Shakespeare stuff is much safer.

[3:55] Unknown speaker: Shakespeare is boring as sin.

[3:57] Unknown speaker: Disparage not the faith thou dost not know.

[4:00] Unknown speaker: How long have you been here anyway?

[4:02] Unknown speaker: Starlets come and go so quickly in this place.

[4:05] Unknown speaker: A fortnight in odd days.

[4:07] Unknown speaker: Time flies.

[4:09] Unknown speaker: The wheel has come full circle.

[4:11] Unknown speaker: Well, I've got good news for you then.

[4:15] Unknown speaker: I recommended that Mr. Demopolis promote you.

[4:19] Unknown speaker: You did?

[4:20] Unknown speaker: There hasn't been a manager of tragedy since Demopolis's wife died.

[4:26] Unknown speaker: And you're the only one I'd trust to take her place.

[4:29] Unknown speaker: Of course, there's already a manager of comedy.

[4:32] Unknown speaker: I suppose I don't need to tell you who that is.

[4:35] Unknown speaker: Okay.

[4:36] Unknown speaker: But if you insist.

[4:40] Unknown speaker: What ring?

[4:41] Unknown speaker: I left no ring with her.

[4:42] Unknown speaker: Who the hell does she think she is?

[4:47] Unknown speaker: All the world's a stage.

[4:48] Unknown speaker: You know, this means you'll get to work register once in a while.

[4:52] Unknown speaker: And we'll be partners curating the Sunday showcase.

[4:55] Unknown speaker: Bee, can we talk?

[4:57] Unknown speaker: Most of the folks around here just want applause.

[4:59] Unknown speaker: They don't care about process like we do.

[5:02] Unknown speaker: I have to talk with you about my audition.

[5:05] Unknown speaker: Don't be surprised if whatever you're going out for is already cast with some cutesy young thing the producer's sweet on.

[5:10] Unknown speaker: I'm not auditioning for a project.

[5:12] Unknown speaker: I'm auditioning for a conservatory.

[5:15] Unknown speaker: A what?

[5:16] Unknown speaker: A conservatory.

[5:18] Unknown speaker: What do you mean a conservatory?

[5:20] Unknown speaker: Like the one in the Bronx with the bougainvillea?

[5:23] Unknown speaker: An acting conservatory from back home.

[5:26] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[5:28] Unknown speaker: Well, why would you do that?

[5:29] Unknown speaker: Well, they're having auditions in the city tomorrow.

[5:32] Unknown speaker: But you've already got so much going for you.

[5:35] Unknown speaker: Do I?

[5:36] Unknown speaker: Sure.

[5:36] Unknown speaker: Good tips.

[5:37] Unknown speaker: Health insurance.

[5:38] Unknown speaker: Manager of tragedy.

[5:40] Unknown speaker: But I want more.

[5:43] Unknown speaker: More what?

[5:45] Unknown speaker: Money?

[5:45] Unknown speaker: Hours?

[5:46] Unknown speaker: I'll talk with Demopolis about getting you a Saturday shift.

[5:49] Unknown speaker: It's not money or hours.

[5:51] Unknown speaker: It's just I want more for my life than to be a Shakespearean server.

[5:58] Unknown speaker: Well, that's a kick in the head.

[6:00] Unknown speaker: We know what we are.

[6:02] Unknown speaker: But not what we may be.

[6:05] Unknown speaker: So you're saying you'd rather go home to Omaha or Sioux City or whatever dopey town you're from than stay here with me in the cultural capital of the world?

[6:14] Unknown speaker: Give me a man that is not passion slave and I will wear him in my heart's core.

[6:19] Unknown speaker: But what about our Sunday showcase?

[6:21] Unknown speaker: The Bard's Diner doesn't mean anything to you now?

[6:24] Unknown speaker: We can still do it, V.

[6:26] Unknown speaker: Maybe we can have our own showcase someday.

[6:28] Unknown speaker: Or open a franchise.

[6:29] Unknown speaker: Or maybe we can act on a bigger stage.

[6:33] Unknown speaker: So what if we're not in New York?

[6:35] Unknown speaker: Come with me.

[6:37] Unknown speaker: Come with you?

[6:38] Unknown speaker: Where do you want me to go?

[6:40] Unknown speaker: The audition.

[6:42] Unknown speaker: Oh, I'm all for only kid.

[6:44] Unknown speaker: Ugh, judgment.

[6:45] Unknown speaker: Thou art fled to brutish beasts.

[6:47] Unknown speaker: Besides, I got all the training I need right here.

[6:51] Unknown speaker: Playing to customers from all across the world.

[6:54] Unknown speaker: At the center of the universe.

[6:56] Unknown speaker: Now why would I give that up?

[6:58] Unknown speaker: No legacy is so rich as honesty.

[7:01] Unknown speaker: And for that matter, do you really think you need more training?

[7:05] Unknown speaker: You know what this is, kid? This is a cop-out.

[7:08] Unknown speaker: I've seen it a hundred times.

[7:10] Unknown speaker: The second you starlets feel the slightest bit complacent, you run.

[7:14] Unknown speaker: Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.

[7:17] Unknown speaker: You're just like all the other waitstaff.

[7:19] Unknown speaker: Or those disco crowds.

[7:20] Unknown speaker: You got your head so far up in the clouds, you must be high.

[7:24] Unknown speaker: If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended.

[7:27] Unknown speaker: Stop it.

[7:28] Unknown speaker: It's not truthful.

[7:30] Unknown speaker: More matter, less art.

[7:32] Unknown speaker: I'm not one of your customers.

[7:34] Unknown speaker: I'm your friend.

[7:35] Unknown speaker: Or at least I thought I was.

[7:37] Unknown speaker: Bee, I want you to come with me.

[7:39] Unknown speaker: I want you to get out of here and be more.

[7:42] Unknown speaker: I have lived long enough.

[7:43] Unknown speaker: My way of life has fallen into the seer, the yellow leaf.

[7:47] Unknown speaker: And that which should accompany age as honor, love, obedience, troops of friends, I must not look to have.

[7:54] Unknown speaker: That isn't true.

[7:55] Unknown speaker: Yes, it is.

[7:56] Unknown speaker: Otherwise, you'd stay.

[7:59] Unknown speaker: I'm leaving, Bee.

[8:00] Unknown speaker: Whether the Conservatory accepts me or not, I'm leaving the city.

[8:05] Unknown speaker: And I want you to come.

[8:07] Unknown speaker: You don't know what we're up against.

[8:10] Unknown speaker: The competition is tough out there.

[8:13] Unknown speaker: Demopolis will keep us safe.

[8:17] Unknown speaker: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

[8:24] Unknown speaker: This, above all, to thine own self be true.

[8:31] Unknown speaker: Jules kisses Bee on the cheek, then exits.

[8:37] Unknown speaker: I'll miss you, Bee.

[8:38] Unknown speaker: What's done is done.

[8:41] Unknown speaker: And all our yesterdays have lighted fools.

[9:09] Brad Forenza: If you enjoyed this episode, please like, share, and subscribe. And continue the conversation by using hashtag Around the Sun podcast.