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The Confidence Myth

Actors hear it all the time: "Just be confident." But what does confidence actually look like—and can it really be. created on demand? In this episode of Casting Actors Cast, veteran casting director, actor, educator, and author Jeffrey Dreisbach... Read More

From the show: Casting Actors Cast

37 mins
Aug 27

About

Actors hear it all the time: "Just be confident." But what does confidence actually look like—and can it really be

created on demand?

In this episode of Casting Actors Cast, veteran casting director, actor, educator, and author Jeffrey Dreisbach

explores the psychology behind authentic confidence, why rejection affects actors so deeply, the difference

between confidence and self-esteem, and why self-trust—not fearlessness—is the real foundation of a

successful acting career.

Drawing from decades behind the casting table, personal experience, and practical strategies you can begin

using immediately, this episode will help you approach auditions, self-tapes, and your creative life with greater

resilience, perspective, and purpose.

Whether you're just beginning your acting journey or you've been navigating this business for years, this

conversation will challenge the way you think about confidence—and perhaps change it forever.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another actor who could use a

little encouragement today.

Transcript

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Have you ever noticed something strange

about actors?

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We're told to become emotionally

available,

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emotionally vulnerable, emotionally

open,

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and then we're expected to develop a

thick skin.

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We're supposed to feel everything

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and somehow, let nothing hurt us.

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Now

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that's quite a job description.

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So to day, I'd like to explore

something we hear all the time, in

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acting classes,

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in auditions and in workshops, even

from casting directors.

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Just be confident.

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What does that actually mean?

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Because after spending decades on both

sides of the audition table, I think

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we've been talking about confidence

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all wrong.

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Let's change that.

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This is casting actorscast.

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Well, hello, and welcome to casting

actress cast.

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Everyone.

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I'm Jeff drizeback.

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I'm a casting director with mccorical

gasting in New York.

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How are you?

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I hope you haven't a good day.

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I'm having a good day.

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And this is the subject I've wanted to

tackle for a long time,

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because it took a lot of research.

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I really wanted to make sure that this

podcast included as much information as

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I possibly could.

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And so it's going to be a little bit on

the longer side, I think.

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But, you know, by a few minutes

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from what you may be used to.

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You see, I don't try to get a specific

time frame for every podcast.

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They vary depending upon the subject.

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But anyway, I just wanted to give you a

heads up about that.

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But first, this is that moment of the

conversation where I get to say thank

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you so much for tuning in to our

podcast.

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It's been a great pleasure bringing all

of these episodes to you every week,

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Thursday at one o'clock.

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We're also on YouTube.

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But this is also my opportunity to just

say thank you.

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It's been a great journey, and I've

really enjoyed having all of the

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feedback that you've provided me as

inspiration for future podcasts.

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You can do the same thing if you're

interested.

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Simply go to casting actor's cast all

one word, dot com, casting actress,

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cast dotcom.

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And there you're going to find all

kinds of really interesting information.

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There's some past episodes that I think

are really great starting point if

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you're new to the business.

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Or you can even check out the book or

the course

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or jeff's jots, which are actually show

notes from each of the individual

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podcast episodes.

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So invite you to take a look.

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All you need to do is fill out a form

that says, dive into the talent,

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positive pool, right there on the

landing page.

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Now that's all I ask for.

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I don't use that information to Spam

you or

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sell it or do anything like that.

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It's just simply there as an indicator

for me to know how many of you are out

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there, and you know what, it's growing

exponentially.

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So I couldn't be more grateful.

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But anyway, filling off that form

that's going to bring you some free

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stuff.

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One is a book I'm doing voice over work

called conversation pieces out of the

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studio.

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The voice over workshop, four

professional actors, it's absolutely

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free of charge by just going to the

website and filling out the form.

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Additionally there's a video called

casting secrets.

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What they don't tell you, but I'm going

to tell you,

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also on that landing page, there's some

additional freebies.

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I'm not going to spend too much time

talking about it, because you have to

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kind of scan the website just a little

bit.

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But anyway, that's all there and

available for you.

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And so I guess that's all I have to

say.

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Except I want to give my shout out to

my good friends at actor's connection,

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actress connection dotcomslash, New

York.

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So I just needed to say that thank you.

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And if you've been listening for a

while,

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I just want to say thank you for making

me part of your acting journey.

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Every week we talk about the craft, the

business, and perhaps most importantly,

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the mindset that allows actors to build

long, creative and fulfilling careers.

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Because booking a role is wonderful,

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but building a career

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that's a different skill.

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Let's jump into it.

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Today's conversation, isn't really

about auditions.

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Honestly, it's about something much

bigger.

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It's about the relationship you have

with yourself.

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And that relationship quietly walks

into every audition

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before you do.

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You know, I can't count the number of

times I've heard an actor say, Jeff, I

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just wish I had more confidence.

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Maybe you've said something similar.

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Maybe you've thought, if I were only

more confident, I would audition

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better, I'd get more callbacks,

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I'd stop second guessing myself.

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I'd finally feel like I belong in this

business.

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Guess what I understand?

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I've thought those same things myself,

but here's what I've learned.

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Confidence isn't something you go out

and find

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it isn't hidden behind the perfect

acting class, or the perfect agent, or

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the perfect self tape set up.

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Confidence is something much quieter

than that.

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And I think we've mistaken it for

something it was never meant to be.

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That's what I call the confidence myth.

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So let's talk about this for a second.

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What picture comes into your mind when

you hear the word confidence?

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Now, most people imagine some one who

walks into a room with,

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oh, I don't know, perfect posture, a

firm handshake, great eye contact,

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never seems nervous,

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always knows exactly what to say.

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We've all met people like that, or at

least we've met people

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who appear that way.

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But here's what's interesting.

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Some of the most confident actors I've

ever cast

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were among the quietest.

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They weren't trying to impress any one.

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They weren't performing confidence.

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They were simply present.

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Meanwhile, I've seen actors walk into

auditions with enormous personalities,

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big Smiles, big energy, big handshakes,

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big voices.

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And underneath all of that,

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they were terrified.

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Sometimes what we call confidence is

actually performance.

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We're acting confident, not feeling

confident.

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And believe me,

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casting directors can usually tell the

difference

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absolutely.

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So here's something that I've observed

over thousands, and I don't know

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thousands, I guess, of auditions.

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Confident actors don't spend much

energy trying to convince me they're confident.

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They spend their energy telling the

story.

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That's where their attention lives,

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not on themselves, on the work

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that changes everything.

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So allow me a casting room observation.

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Let me tell you something that I've

noticed.

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Every once in a while, an actor walks

into the room, and within thirty

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seconds, everyone relaxes,

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the director relaxes, the producer,

relaxes, I relax.

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And not because the actor is dazzling,

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necessarily,

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not because they're famous,

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not because they're loud,

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because

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they're grounded.

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You see, they listen, they're curious.

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They are playful, they're prepared.

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If something unexpected happens, they

adapt.

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If they make a mistake,

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they recover.

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They don't panic, they don't apologize,

they don't suddenly begin acting

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harder.

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They simply stay connected.

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And do you know what I find fascinating

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when those auditions are over,

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those actors almost never describe

themselves as confidence.

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They usually say something like, I

trusted my preparation,

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or I was having fun,

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or this is my favorite.

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I decided to stop trying to get the job

and just tell the story.

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Isn't that great?

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See, that's confidence.

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It just doesn't always look the way we

imagine.

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Now let's talk about the strange

paradox of our profession.

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Actors spend years learning how to

become more emotionally available.

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We study behavior, relationships,

empathy, listening imagination.

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We learn to cry, laugh, love, grieve,

celebrate, fear.

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We train ourselves to experience life

more deeply.

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We then walk into an industry

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where people we've never met

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decide whether we continue,

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sometimes in five minutes,

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sometimes in thirty seconds,

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sometimes without saying a single word.

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If we're not careful, we've been

connecting our value as human beings

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to someone else's casting decision.

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And that's where confidence begins to

crack.

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Not because we lack talent,

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but because we've asked auditions to

answer questions.

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They were never designed to answer

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questions like, am I good enough?

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Do I belong here?

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Am I talented?

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Am I worthy?

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An audition

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can't answer those questions.

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They never could.

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Yet, many actors unknowingly asked them

every single week.

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So why does rejection hurt so much?

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Have you ever wondered why rejection

feels so personal,

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even when everyone tells you don't take

it personally

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well.

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there's actually a reason

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our brains evolved in communities

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thousands of years ago,

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being rejected by the tribe, wasn't

merely uncomfortable.

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It could be dangerous,

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acceptance, meant survival,

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belonging,

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meant safety,

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isolation, meant risk.

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So today, when we walk into an audition,

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our nervous system sometimes reacts as

though our survival

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depends on the outcome.

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Of course it doesn't.

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But

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our ancient wiring doesn't always know

that, which means sometimes you're not

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lacking confidence.

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Sometimes you're simply having a very

human biological response.

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I don't know about you, but I find that

strangely comfortable

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it's very comforting.

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It reminds me that feeling nervous

doesn't mean something is wrong with

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me.

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It means I'm human,

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and so are you.

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But this is where we get it wrong.

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This is where

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actors accidentally make life much

harder

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than it needs to be.

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We believe confidence comes first,

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then

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we become courageous.

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But life doesn't actually work that way.

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I want you to think back to your first

audition.

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Were you confident?

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Probably not.

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You.

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First on camera, class

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your first call back, your first

professional job,

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your first day on a television set.

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Confidence probably wasn't leading the

way

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courage was.

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You showed up anyway,

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you were nervous, anyway, you took the

risk anyway.

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And afterward,

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you discovered something remarkable.

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You survived.

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And guess what?

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You did it again and again.

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And eventually, confidence quietly

arrived,

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not because fear disappeared,

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but because experience slowly replaced

uncertainty.

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And that is a very different definition

of confidence.

246

00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,123

And I think,

247

00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,526

well, I think it's a much kinder one.

248

00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:45,298

You know, there's another word that I

think gets confused with confidence all

249

00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,367

the time, and that's self esteem.

250

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,237

Most people use those words as though

they mean the same thing.

251

00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:51,838

They don't.

252

00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,773

Confidence says,

253

00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,9

I believe I can do this.

254

00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,411

Self esteem says,

255

00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,513

I believe I'm still valuable,

256

00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,882

even if I don't

257

00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,585

think about that for a minute.

258

00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,955

Those are two entirely different

conversations.

259

00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,524

One is about performance,

260

00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:12,959

the other

261

00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,728

is about identity.

262

00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,864

And here's where actors sometimes get

into trouble

263

00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:20,33

without realizing it.

264

00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,4

We allow our confidence to become

attached to our self esteem.

265

00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,207

If the audition goes, well, I feel

great.

266

00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,609

If the callback doesn't come,

267

00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,845

I must not be good enough.

268

00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:37,584

Now our self worth is writing on

someone else's decision?

269

00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,153

Well, that's a dangerous place to live.

270

00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,624

Because confidence naturally rises and

Falls.

271

00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,92

That's normal.

272

00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,763

Even athletes have good days and bad

days.

273

00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,933

Hm, musicians have off performances.

274

00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,70

Writers stare at blank pages.

275

00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,807

Teachers have classes that don't quite

connect.

276

00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,575

I know what that feels like.

277

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,343

Sometimes

278

00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:04,978

we're all human.

279

00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:10,417

But if your self esteem rises and Falls

with every audition, you're asking your

280

00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:14,87

career to answer questions that only

you can answer.

281

00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,656

Let's talk about something else.

282

00:14:18,91 --> 00:14:23,29

Have you ever noticed how often actors

talk about confidence as though it is a feeling?

283

00:14:24,30 --> 00:14:26,266

I just don't feel confident to day.

284

00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,335

I wish I felt more confident.

285

00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,236

I lost my confidence.

286

00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:33,73

Hm, maybe

287

00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:37,911

or maybe confidence isn't a feeling at

all.

288

00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,947

Maybe it's a decision.

289

00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,150

Think about your own life.

290

00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:48,621

Have you ever done something while

feeling completely unprepared?

291

00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,390

Of course you have.

292

00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,694

Have you ever walked into an audition,

terrified

293

00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,64

and ended up doing some of your best

work?

294

00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:00,200

I certainly.

295

00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:00,633

Have.

296

00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:07,140

Have you ever taught a class or given a

speech, ammet someone important or

297

00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:11,678

starting something new, while secretly

wondering if you belonged there?

298

00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,780

Now most of us have had that feeling.

299

00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,685

So, apparently we don't need confidence

to act.

300

00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,487

We need courage.

301

00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,88

Confidence usually

302

00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,324

chose up afterward.

303

00:15:26,26 --> 00:15:29,863

One of my favorite observations comes

from years of watching actors before

304

00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:30,497

auditions.

305

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:37,437

i'll see an actor sitting quietly

outside the audition room.

306

00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:41,141

You know, when auditions were in

person, and they still are.

307

00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,944

Occasionally, mostly callbacks are in

person with our office.

308

00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:46,713

They don't,

309

00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,549

actors don't do dramatic breathing

exercises,

310

00:15:51,51 --> 00:15:52,952

no pacing, no pep talks,

311

00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,355

just sitting present.

312

00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,192

And then another actor arrives.

313

00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:04,831

They're talking a mile a minute,

repeating the lines over and over,

314

00:16:05,65 --> 00:16:09,135

checking the mirror, changing jackets,

looking at every one else, comparing

315

00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,806

themselves, trying to convince

themselves, they're ready

316

00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:14,574

now.

317

00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,744

Can either one book the job?

318

00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,714

Absolutely.

319

00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,415

But here's what I've noticed,

320

00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:27,53

the quieter actor usually isn't trying

to eliminate nervousness.

321

00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,923

They're simply making peace with it.

322

00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,158

There's a huge difference.

323

00:16:33,59 --> 00:16:35,562

Confidence doesn't require the absence

of nerves.

324

00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:39,999

It simply refuses to let nerves become

the director.

325

00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,239

That reminds me of something I tell

actors in class, nervousness isn't your enemy.

326

00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,275

It isn't it's your body's way of saying

327

00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:50,710

this matters

328

00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:52,645

it's important.

329

00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,215

That's all.

330

00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,83

You see somewhere.

331

00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:01,121

Along the way, we decided nervousness

meant weakness,

332

00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:02,889

it doesn't.

333

00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,324

It means you care.

334

00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,827

The goal isn't to stop caring.

335

00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:13,133

The goal is to stop interpreting caring

as failure.

336

00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,368

We're going to have more

337

00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:16,970

right after this.

338

00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,608

Now I would like to share something

339

00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:22,742

a little more personal.

340

00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,612

I don't usually do this, but over the

years,

341

00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:31,51

I have spoken openly about something

that made an enormous difference in my

342

00:17:31,51 --> 00:17:31,685

own life,

343

00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:33,586

therapy.

344

00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:39,693

And I know for some people that word

still carries unnecessary baggage.

345

00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:41,428

It shouldn't,

346

00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:47,33

for me, therapy wasn't about fixing

something that was broken.

347

00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,602

It wasn't about discovering

348

00:17:50,36 --> 00:17:52,305

that I was somehow less capable.

349

00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:57,277

It was about understanding myself more

honestly.

350

00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:02,248

It helped me recognize old studies

stories I had been telling myself,

351

00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,784

you know, stories about worth,

352

00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,53

stories about success,

353

00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,655

stories about approval.

354

00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,126

And some of those stories had been

following me for decades.

355

00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:18,865

And here's the interesting thing, most

of us don't even realize we're carrying them.

356

00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:19,933

We simply assume

357

00:18:21,0 --> 00:18:21,768

they're true.

358

00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,170

Therapy

359

00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,873

helped me ask a different

360

00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,8

question,

361

00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,243

the question,

362

00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,946

is that actually true?

363

00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:36,783

Sometimes the answer was, yes.

364

00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,251

Often

365

00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:39,519

it wasn't.

366

00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,588

That realization was in

367

00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,990

an incredible feeling

368

00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:45,859

and very freeing.

369

00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:50,730

Because once you stop believing every

thought that enters your mind,

370

00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,1

those thoughts begin losing their

authority over you.

371

00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,469

And that changes

372

00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,604

everything.

373

00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,141

Now, I want to be really clear here.

374

00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:04,344

I am not suggesting every actor must

have therapy,

375

00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,415

but I do believe every actor should

become deeply curious

376

00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,383

about themselves.

377

00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,119

Where does your fear come from?

378

00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:23,830

Why does one audition ruin your week

while another simply rolls off your shoulders?

379

00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:28,468

Why does one piece of criticism

motivate you, while another

380

00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,70

feels devastating?

381

00:19:31,71 --> 00:19:32,272

Those aren't acting questions.

382

00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,574

Those are human questions.

383

00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:39,45

And understanding them will make you

not only a healthier actor,

384

00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:41,614

but a healthier person.

385

00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,850

I honestly believe that.

386

00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:49,756

And here's something I've noticed after

many years in this profession.

387

00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:55,362

The actors who have the longest careers

aren't necessarily the most talented.

388

00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,931

Now that surprises people.

389

00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,666

They're certainly talented.

390

00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:00,967

But that's not what

391

00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,602

keeps them working.

392

00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,804

What keeps them working

393

00:20:05,71 --> 00:20:06,72

is resilience,

394

00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,507

perspective

395

00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,409

professionalism,

396

00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,511

curiosity.

397

00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,313

They recover quickly.

398

00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,783

They don't spend six months replaying

one audition.

399

00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,385

They learn,

400

00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:20,320

adjust, move forward.

401

00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,324

Now that's confidence not because they

never hurt,

402

00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,760

because they don't stay hurt.

403

00:20:27,60 --> 00:20:27,994

That's the difference.

404

00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,265

Here's another casting room observation

405

00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:36,503

that still, well, it still surprises me

after all these years.

406

00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:41,608

Occasionally an actor leaves the room

convinced they gave a terrible audition.

407

00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,912

I've even had actors apologize on the

way out.

408

00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,48

I'm so sorry.

409

00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,449

I don't know what happened.

410

00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:54,721

And then the creative team turns to me

and says, I love them.

411

00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,591

I've seen it happen more than I can

count.

412

00:20:58,892 --> 00:21:02,896

I've also seen the opposite, an actor

who walks out, absolutely convinced

413

00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:03,997

they booked it.

414

00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,66

They call their agent,

415

00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,534

they celebrate.

416

00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,504

Then the role goes another direction.

417

00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:13,606

Why?

418

00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:15,842

Because we're

419

00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:19,45

often the worst Judges of our own work.

420

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,915

Tw, too close to it.

421

00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,752

We confuse feelings with facts.

422

00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,622

Feeling uncertain doesn't mean you

performed poorly.

423

00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:33,126

Feeling confident doesn't guarantee

success.

424

00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:39,532

That's why I encourage actors to stop

grading themselves after every audition.

425

00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:42,402

Do the work, learn from it,

426

00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,4

then let it go.

427

00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,406

You may be a wonderful actor,

428

00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:47,374

but

429

00:21:47,941 --> 00:21:51,211

you're not the best casting director of

your own performance.

430

00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:52,946

I can promise you that.

431

00:21:54,914 --> 00:22:00,487

So this brings me to what I believe may

be the most important idea in today's episode.

432

00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,690

Stop trying to be more confident,

433

00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,393

become more trustworthy.

434

00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:10,997

Now I know, I know that sounds kind of

weird, but stay with me.

435

00:22:11,231 --> 00:22:12,799

Imagine you had a friend.

436

00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:17,270

Every time they promised something,

they followed through,

437

00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:18,705

every time

438

00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,640

they said they'd call,

439

00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:21,908

they called.

440

00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,644

If they said they'd help,

441

00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:26,546

they helped.

442

00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:28,348

If they made a mistake,

443

00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,383

they admitted.

444

00:22:31,51 --> 00:22:34,888

If life knocked them down, they

eventually got back up.

445

00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,91

Would you trust that person?

446

00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:40,160

Of course you would.

447

00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:41,461

Of course.

448

00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:47,667

Now here's the question though, can you

become that person for yourself?

449

00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:51,204

Because every time you keep a promise

to yourself,

450

00:22:52,272 --> 00:22:53,773

you build self trust.

451

00:22:54,274 --> 00:22:56,810

Every time you prepare when you said

you would,

452

00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,45

you build self trust.

453

00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:03,850

Every time you recover from

disappointment, instead of giving up,

454

00:23:04,117 --> 00:23:05,452

you build self trust.

455

00:23:06,653 --> 00:23:10,590

Every time you walk into another

audition, despite being afraid,

456

00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:13,293

and build self trust.

457

00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,263

And something remarkable begins to

happen.

458

00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:18,64

Confidence

459

00:23:19,65 --> 00:23:20,333

quietly follows

460

00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:25,238

not because you forced it, not because

you repeated affirmations in the

461

00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:26,873

mirror, but because

462

00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:28,641

you become

463

00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:31,778

some one your own mind has learned.

464

00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,613

It can rely on

465

00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:36,583

honestly.

466

00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,352

I think that's far more powerful, don't

you?

467

00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,388

To day's episode all about confidence.

468

00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:42,355

And you know what?

469

00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,125

The older I get, the more I realize

that confidence

470

00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,394

isn't something I've finally achieved.

471

00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,763

It's something I continue to practise.

472

00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:51,364

Some days it's

473

00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:52,599

stronger than others.

474

00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:55,669

Some days I feel completely connected

to my work.

475

00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:59,205

Other days I question myself, just like

anyone else.

476

00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:00,507

And you know what?

477

00:24:01,74 --> 00:24:02,575

That's perfectly normal.

478

00:24:03,309 --> 00:24:05,111

Confidence isn't a destination.

479

00:24:06,12 --> 00:24:06,346

It's a relationship

480

00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:10,717

we return to over and over again.

481

00:24:12,18 --> 00:24:14,254

Now let's think about children for a

moment.

482

00:24:15,155 --> 00:24:17,590

Have you ever watched a toddler learn

to walk?

483

00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:20,660

It's so cool, right?

484

00:24:20,994 --> 00:24:24,998

They stand up, they wobble, they fall,

they cry for about three seconds.

485

00:24:26,99 --> 00:24:27,834

Then they stand up

486

00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:29,269

and do it again.

487

00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:32,472

No one has to convince them their

488

00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:33,707

walking material.

489

00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:35,642

They don't decide.

490

00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:38,745

After the third fall, maybe walking

just isn't for me.

491

00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:40,480

Can you imagine?

492

00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:42,282

I fallen four times to day?

493

00:24:42,515 --> 00:24:45,452

I think i'll pursue crawling

professionally?

494

00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:47,187

Of course not.

495

00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:49,856

We laugh because it sounds ridiculous.

496

00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:54,94

But as adults, we do exactly that.

497

00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:55,695

One difficult audition,

498

00:24:56,830 --> 00:25:01,67

one critical review, one rejection, one

callback that doesn't happen.

499

00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:06,239

And suddenly we begin questioning

whether we belong in the profession at all.

500

00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,641

What changed?

501

00:25:09,142 --> 00:25:10,243

Not our ability,

502

00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,12

our interpretation.

503

00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:14,881

Interpret falling

504

00:25:15,215 --> 00:25:16,316

as learning

505

00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:18,718

adults often interpret falling

506

00:25:19,386 --> 00:25:20,153

as failing.

507

00:25:21,154 --> 00:25:22,889

There's a tremendous difference.

508

00:25:25,859 --> 00:25:26,993

Ay, here's another thought.

509

00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,897

Actors spend enormous amounts of time

trying to eliminate uncertainty.

510

00:25:32,265 --> 00:25:35,535

I'll feel confident once I know exactly

what they want.

511

00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:40,6

I'll feel confident once I have a

better agent.

512

00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:43,677

I'll feel confident after I book my

next role.

513

00:25:44,978 --> 00:25:46,246

But the truth is,

514

00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,916

certainty is in part of our profession.

515

00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:51,518

It never has been.

516

00:25:52,352 --> 00:25:53,553

Every audition is uncertain.

517

00:25:53,953 --> 00:25:55,155

Every call back is uncertain.

518

00:25:55,789 --> 00:25:56,256

Every contract

519

00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:58,558

is uncertain.

520

00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,794

Every career is uncertain.

521

00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,262

Confidence isn't learning

522

00:26:03,463 --> 00:26:05,131

to control uncertainty

523

00:26:05,799 --> 00:26:08,268

it's learning to function beautifully

inside.

524

00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,570

It that's what professionals do.

525

00:26:12,272 --> 00:26:14,407

Here's another casting room observation.

526

00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:18,745

I have to say, one of the greatest

privileges of my career has been

527

00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:21,748

watching extraordinary actors work.

528

00:26:23,383 --> 00:26:24,651

Some have won awards.

529

00:26:25,385 --> 00:26:26,753

Some became household names.

530

00:26:27,220 --> 00:26:30,557

Some built wonderful careers without

ever becoming famous.

531

00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:33,126

Do you know what they all had in common?

532

00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:34,728

Not perfection

533

00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:36,529

professionalism.

534

00:26:37,864 --> 00:26:39,32

They arrived prepared.

535

00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:40,333

They listened, they collaborated,

536

00:26:41,468 --> 00:26:42,569

they adjusted,

537

00:26:43,69 --> 00:26:44,471

they remained curious.

538

00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:50,243

Most importantly, they didn't spend all

of their energy trying to prove themselves.

539

00:26:51,77 --> 00:26:53,613

They spent it serving the story

540

00:26:55,215 --> 00:26:56,282

listen that's worth repeating.

541

00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:59,486

They weren't trying to prove they

deserved the role.

542

00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,255

They were trying trying to understand

the character

543

00:27:03,223 --> 00:27:04,157

that's simpler

544

00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:05,125

that's

545

00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,559

much more pure.

546

00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:10,230

Those are two completely different

energies.

547

00:27:11,64 --> 00:27:13,133

And believe me, people in the room,

548

00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:14,734

they can feel the difference.

549

00:27:16,436 --> 00:27:19,539

So let's talk about something that took

me a very long time to understand.

550

00:27:20,106 --> 00:27:22,842

Confidence is in something another

person gives you.

551

00:27:23,76 --> 00:27:27,547

By the way, it might, coming from your

agent, not your acting teacher, not

552

00:27:27,714 --> 00:27:29,749

your spouse, not your audience,

553

00:27:30,16 --> 00:27:33,453

not your casting director or podcast

host.

554

00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:37,757

We can encourage you, we can believe in

you.

555

00:27:38,91 --> 00:27:39,526

We can even hire you.

556

00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:42,262

But none of us can hand you confidence.

557

00:27:43,396 --> 00:27:46,733

Because confidence doesn't arrive from

the outside.

558

00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:49,602

It grows quietly from the inside

559

00:27:50,36 --> 00:27:51,538

every time you honor the commitments

560

00:27:52,572 --> 00:27:53,907

you've made to yourself.

561

00:27:55,375 --> 00:27:58,244

So how do we actually build that

relationship?

562

00:27:58,812 --> 00:28:02,982

So I'm going to offer you five very

simple practices, not because they'll

563

00:28:03,149 --> 00:28:06,386

make you fearless, but because they'll

make you trustworthy.

564

00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,187

First,

565

00:28:07,954 --> 00:28:09,589

keep promises to yourself,

566

00:28:10,657 --> 00:28:13,293

yeah, if you tell yourself you're going

to prepare,

567

00:28:14,94 --> 00:28:14,728

prepare.

568

00:28:15,228 --> 00:28:17,597

If you schedule time to read a play,

569

00:28:18,431 --> 00:28:19,32

read it.

570

00:28:19,399 --> 00:28:22,736

If you promise yourself, you'll submit

that self tape

571

00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:24,304

submit it

572

00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:25,705

self.

573

00:28:25,939 --> 00:28:28,641

Trust grows through consistency.

574

00:28:30,76 --> 00:28:30,710

Second,

575

00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:33,113

separate effort from outcome.

576

00:28:34,347 --> 00:28:36,16

You control your preparation.

577

00:28:36,516 --> 00:28:37,317

You control your professionalism.

578

00:28:38,585 --> 00:28:40,620

You control your imagination.

579

00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:44,157

You do not control the final decision.

580

00:28:44,758 --> 00:28:49,796

Stop measuring yourself by things you

never had the power to control in the

581

00:28:49,796 --> 00:28:50,397

first place.

582

00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:52,799

Third,

583

00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,35

collect evidence.

584

00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:59,39

Instead of asking, why am I not

confident?

585

00:28:59,706 --> 00:29:02,409

Ask what evidence have I earned?

586

00:29:03,376 --> 00:29:04,644

Have you trained?

587

00:29:05,612 --> 00:29:06,346

Have you improved?

588

00:29:06,980 --> 00:29:09,149

Have you survived difficult auditions?

589

00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:10,917

Have you booked work before?

590

00:29:11,718 --> 00:29:13,286

Have you made people laugh,

591

00:29:14,87 --> 00:29:14,888

cry?

592

00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:15,855

Think

593

00:29:16,656 --> 00:29:17,424

then

594

00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:18,124

yes.

595

00:29:18,358 --> 00:29:18,558

What

596

00:29:19,292 --> 00:29:21,428

you already have evidence?

597

00:29:22,328 --> 00:29:24,798

Your mind simply forgets to look for it.

598

00:29:26,99 --> 00:29:27,834

4th, celebrate courage,

599

00:29:28,835 --> 00:29:29,769

not just success,

600

00:29:31,71 --> 00:29:32,38

walking into the room.

601

00:29:32,172 --> 00:29:32,639

Matters,

602

00:29:33,306 --> 00:29:35,41

sending the self tape, matters,

603

00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:36,943

taking the class, matters

604

00:29:37,377 --> 00:29:38,278

trying again.

605

00:29:38,745 --> 00:29:41,748

Matters, the industry celebrates

bookings.

606

00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:45,919

I think we should celebrate bravery,

because bravery

607

00:29:46,653 --> 00:29:46,853

is available

608

00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:49,189

every day.

609

00:29:50,256 --> 00:29:52,325

And finally, stay curious.

610

00:29:53,426 --> 00:29:53,727

Curiosity

611

00:29:54,594 --> 00:29:56,429

leaves very little room for fear.

612

00:29:56,896 --> 00:29:59,566

Instead of wondering, what do they

think of me?

613

00:29:59,699 --> 00:30:03,837

Try asking, what can I discover about

this character?

614

00:30:04,571 --> 00:30:07,40

Instead of asking, what if I fail?

615

00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:08,8

Ask,

616

00:30:08,508 --> 00:30:10,76

what if I surprise myself?

617

00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:14,714

Curiosity is one of the healthiest

forms of confidence I know.

618

00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:18,551

So here's your reset for this week,

619

00:30:19,52 --> 00:30:22,989

for just seven days stop asking

yourself, do I feel confident?

620

00:30:23,623 --> 00:30:26,826

Instead ask, what do I trust about

myself?

621

00:30:27,60 --> 00:30:27,694

To day?

622

00:30:28,495 --> 00:30:30,563

Maybe to day you trust your preparation.

623

00:30:31,131 --> 00:30:33,600

Maybe to day you trust your work ethic.

624

00:30:35,301 --> 00:30:39,506

Maybe to day you trust your sense of

humor, your imagination,

625

00:30:40,106 --> 00:30:40,340

your resilience,

626

00:30:41,374 --> 00:30:42,342

your kindness, your professionalism,

627

00:30:43,543 --> 00:30:45,745

your ability to begin again.

628

00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:49,749

Because confidence isn't the only thing

worth trusting.

629

00:30:50,550 --> 00:30:51,184

Sometimes

630

00:30:51,718 --> 00:30:53,920

trusting yourself is enough.

631

00:30:55,555 --> 00:31:00,160

And in my experience, that's exactly

where confidence begins.

632

00:31:02,729 --> 00:31:06,232

Now listen, before we wrap this up, I'd

like to leave you with a

633

00:31:06,599 --> 00:31:07,667

final image.

634

00:31:08,268 --> 00:31:08,835

Imagine confidence

635

00:31:09,936 --> 00:31:11,37

as a shadow.

636

00:31:12,172 --> 00:31:13,540

Have you ever tried to catch your own

shadow?

637

00:31:14,841 --> 00:31:15,241

You can't.

638

00:31:15,942 --> 00:31:19,212

The harder you chase it, the further

away it seems.

639

00:31:20,13 --> 00:31:26,52

But the moment you simply begin walking

toward the light, your shadow follows automatically.

640

00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:29,589

Confidence works much the same way.

641

00:31:30,357 --> 00:31:35,28

If you chase confidence, you probably

spend your life wondering where it went.

642

00:31:35,862 --> 00:31:38,398

But if you walk toward growth,

643

00:31:39,199 --> 00:31:40,166

preparation,

644

00:31:41,134 --> 00:31:41,434

curiosity,

645

00:31:42,502 --> 00:31:44,304

service and self trust,

646

00:31:45,472 --> 00:31:48,641

confidence quietly follows behind you.

647

00:31:49,776 --> 00:31:51,211

Well, not because you chased it.

648

00:31:51,778 --> 00:31:53,446

Because it was never the destination.

649

00:31:54,114 --> 00:31:56,483

It was always the companion.

650

00:31:58,251 --> 00:32:01,588

So the next time someone tells, you

just be more confident.

651

00:32:02,255 --> 00:32:03,356

I hope you'll smile.

652

00:32:04,90 --> 00:32:06,226

Because now you know something a little

different.

653

00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,828

Confidence isn't pretending you're

fearless.

654

00:32:09,396 --> 00:32:12,265

Confidence isn't believing you'll book

every rle.

655

00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:15,402

Confidence isn't walking into a room

trying to impress everyone.

656

00:32:16,169 --> 00:32:20,206

Confidence is walking into a room

knowing this one audition doesn't

657

00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:21,608

determine your worth.

658

00:32:22,509 --> 00:32:26,179

Confidence is trusting your

preparation, trusting your craft,

659

00:32:26,813 --> 00:32:27,614

trusting your imagination,

660

00:32:28,815 --> 00:32:32,152

trusting your resilience and most

importantly,

661

00:32:32,752 --> 00:32:33,586

trusting yourself.

662

00:32:36,489 --> 00:32:39,325

Thank you so much for spending this

time with me.

663

00:32:39,392 --> 00:32:43,530

To day, if today's conversation

resonated with you, I'd love for you to

664

00:32:43,530 --> 00:32:46,866

share this episode with another actor

who may need to hear it.

665

00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:52,505

Also, it would be amazing if you

enjoyed this episode, if it gave you

666

00:32:52,505 --> 00:32:55,942

some insight, if it helped you just a

little bit, won't you consider leaving

667

00:32:56,176 --> 00:32:57,277

me a review?

668

00:32:58,111 --> 00:32:58,978

ITunes or Spotify,

669

00:33:00,13 --> 00:33:01,881

those are really great help to me.

670

00:33:01,948 --> 00:33:03,983

I don't charge for the information here,

671

00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:05,919

but I would love some feedback.

672

00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,988

So please let me know if you found this

episode helpful.

673

00:33:09,222 --> 00:33:11,324

You can also write to me with

additional questions.

674

00:33:11,858 --> 00:33:16,996

Casting actor's caste at Gmail dot com,

casting actress Cass all one word at

675

00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,64

Gmail dot community

676

00:33:18,431 --> 00:33:21,935

and the webside casting actor's cast

outcome is another place where you can

677

00:33:22,168 --> 00:33:23,503

reach me if you'd like to.

678

00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:28,8

And remember, the world doesn't need

actors who never feel fear

679

00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:32,946

and needs actors who have learned not

to let fear make their decisions.

680

00:33:34,681 --> 00:33:35,315

I'm Jeff drizeback.

681

00:33:35,782 --> 00:33:38,818

Thank you for listening to casting

actors cast until next time.

682

00:33:38,918 --> 00:33:40,754

I want you to keep learning, keep

growing.

683

00:33:41,388 --> 00:33:43,690

Keep telling stories that matter.

684

00:33:44,257 --> 00:33:48,328

And remember, the audition is not

asking, how confident are you?

685

00:33:49,62 --> 00:33:52,966

It's asking, can I trust you with this

story?

686

00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:55,535

I'll see you next

© Broadway Podcast Network, All Rights Reserved

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