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Have you ever walked into a room filled

with actors,

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casting directors, agents, producers,

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and suddenly forgotten how to be

yourself?

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Ha, it's remarkable how quickly it

happens.

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Five minutes earlier, you were relaxed,

comfortable, funny.

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You were simply another human being

looking forward to an interesting evening.

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Then

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you recognized some one.

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Immediately,

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your attention suddenly shifted,

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not towards them, towards yourself.

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What should I say?

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Should I introduce myself?

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Do they remember me?

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Should I mention I've auditioned for

them?

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Should I wait?

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Should I leave them alone?

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Should I hand them my card?

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Should I just pretend?

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I didn't see them?

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Within seconds,

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meeting another person

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became managing an impression.

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If you've ever experienced that you're

not alone,

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I certainly have.

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And after spending decades as both an

actor and casting director, I've come

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to believe something

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networking isn't what makes us

uncomfortable,

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pressure is

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there's a tremendous difference.

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Let's talk about that

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on this episode of casting actor's cast.

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Well, hello, and welcome to today's

episode of cassing actors cast.

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I'm Geoffrey driesbach.

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I'm a casting partner with mccorchel

cassing in New York.

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How are you?

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I hope you're having a good day.

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I'm having a good day.

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And yeah, there's that bugaboo word,

right?

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I have all kinds of emotional reactions

to that word, when I was an actor and

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still even now as a casting director.

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But first, this is that moment of the

conversation

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where I get to say thank you for tuning

in to casting actor's cast.

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I invite you to check out the website,

casting actor's cast, all in word dot

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com.

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There you're going to find all kinds of

information.

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My new book is available.

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I have a course that's out.

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All of that's available right there on

the landing page also there's a form

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that says, dive into the talent pool.

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It asks for your name and your email

address.

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That's it, by the way, I don't do

anything with that.

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And that'll open up a couple of

freebies, one of book, I'm doing voice

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over work.

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The other is a twenty minute video

called casting secrets.

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What they don't tell you,

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that's all completely free of charge

just by checking out the website.

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And there's also jeff's jots, which are

is the blog that corresponds to each of

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the episodes.

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So you can check that out as well.

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So I would appreciate your time.

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I'm checking that out because I love

doing these podcasts.

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I've been doing them for a long time

now, and I just want to say I will

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continue to do them.

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The only thing I ask.

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It might not feel like a big ass, but

if good for some of you, and that is,

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if you like what you hear, if you've

been enjoying these podcasts, it would

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mean the worlds to me.

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If you shot me an email,

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yeah, casting actors cast a, Gmail dot

com, or on the website, there's a way

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you can leave me a message very easily.

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Also, if you could think about leaving

a review, a thumbs up, subscribe.

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We're also on YouTube.

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So if you're watching me on YouTube,

fantastic.

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Thank you very much.

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I simulcast the podcast on YouTube as

well.

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All right, finally, my shout out to my

good friends at actor's connection dot com.

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Actors connection slash, New York dot

com is actually the address.

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So do check them out.

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They're very good friends.

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And I recommend what they do very, very

highly.

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Now, if you walked into your

neighborhood coffee shop, let's say,

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and you started talking with some one

in line,

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you probably wouldn't think twice about

the conversation.

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You'd smile.

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Exchange a few words, maybe laugh,

maybe discover something interesting

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about one another.

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No pressure, no agenda, no internal

dialogue.

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Now take that exact same person,

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put them inside an industry event.

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Everything changes.

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Nothing about them is changed.

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The room changed, or perhaps their

thinking change.

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Instead of asking, I wonder who this

person is.

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Their mind quietly begins asking.

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I wonder what this person thinks of me

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that's a completely different

conversation.

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One is driven by curiosity,

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the other is driven by evaluation.

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And evaluation

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is exhausting.

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I've been thinking about this quite a

bit.

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Actors often tell me I'm terrible at

networking.

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Really.

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I'm not convinced.

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Actors spend their lives studying

people,

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listening, observing, imagining,

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connecting, emotionally,

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those are exactly the skills that made

someone enjoyable to talk with.

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So why does networking feel so

unnatural?

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See, I don't think it's because actors

lack social skills.

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I think it's because they care so

deeply about their careers

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that every meeting begins feeling

important.

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And when every meeting feels important,

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every conversation begins carrying.

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Weight it was never meant to carry.

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I would like to share something that

took me years to understand.

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Whenever I met someone I believed could

influence my career,

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I wasn't actually meeting them.

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I was meeting my expectations.

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Ok?

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Somebody write that down?

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That was really good.

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You see, looking back, I had quietly

assigned them a role before we've even

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shaken hands.

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Maybe this is the casting director who

changes everything.

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Maybe this is the producer I've been

hoping to meet.

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Maybe this is the agent who finally

notices mebbe.

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Maybe this is the answer.

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M,

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that's an incredible responsibility to

place another human being,

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especially someone who has absolutely

no idea they're carrying it.

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I don't believe actors do this because

they're manipulative.

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I really don't.

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I think they do it because they're

hopeful.

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Hope is beautiful.

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Hope keeps us going.

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Hope gets us through rejection.

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Hope convinces us

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to come back after another difficult

audition.

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But hope can quietly become expectation.

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And expectation changes relationships.

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The moment another person becomes the

answer,

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they stop becoming a person.

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They become an opportunity,

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a possibility, a solution.

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Almost like carrying around an invisible

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lottery ticket.

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Every room becomes,

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what if today is the day?

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What if this is the one?

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Careers don't work that way?

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don't either.

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We've all heard the expression, it's

who you know?

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I understand what people mean.

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Relationships

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absolutely

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matter.

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This business has always been

collaborative,

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people enjoying, hiring, talented

people they trust.

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That part is definitely true.

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But I think we've misunderstood

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the impression

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I'd rewrite.

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It

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it's not who you know,

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it's who knows you accurately.

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Someone may know your name,

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someone else may know your resume.

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Someone else may know you've booked a

television series.

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Wow, that's nice,

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but it's not enough.

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When someone knows your professionalism,

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your kindness, your curiosity,

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your reliability,

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your generosity,

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now they know something much more

valuable.

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Now they know your character.

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And character creates trust.

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Trust

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creates opportunity.

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Recognition simply creates familiarity.

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Those are entirely different things.

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One of the greatest privileges of

working and casting, I have to say, has

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been watching careers unfold over many

years.

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For example, I've watched readers

become producers,

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assistants become casting directors,

interns, become executives.

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Actors become writers,

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directors become studio heads.

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What's fascinating

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is that very few of those relationships

began with someone asking for a favor.

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Most began, oh, I don't know, with a

conversation,

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and then another, and then another.

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Over time, people simply became part of

each other's professional life.

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That's how careers usually grow,

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not through one remarkable conversation,

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through hundreds of ordinary ones.

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I think that's encouraging

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because it means you don't have to be

unforgettable tonight.

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You simply have to be genuine.

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Here's another thought before we

continue on.

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Perhaps the goal of networking has

never been networking at all.

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Perhaps the goal has always been

learning to become

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how genuinely interested in another

human being you are.

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Before hoping they'll become interested

in you.

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Even

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that one shift changes everything.

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I like to share something that

surprised me.

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The longer I've worked in this

business, the less interested I've

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become in networking,

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and the more interested I've become in

community.

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Those are definitely not the same thing.

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Networking asks.

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Who should I meet?

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Community asks?

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Who would I genuinely enjoy knowing?

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That's a different question.

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One begins with strategy.

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The other begins with curiosity.

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And curiosity almost always leads to

better relationships.

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Let's think about your closest friends

for a moment.

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How many of them became your friends

because you were trying to get

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something from them?

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Probably none.

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You spent time together.

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You discovered common interests.

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You laughed, you listen, you showed up

for one another.

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Trust grew naturally.

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Now imagine it if the very first time

you met

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you immediately asked for a favor.

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It would feel strange,

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not because asking for help is wrong,

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because the relationship hasn't had

time to breathe.

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Professional relationships work exactly

the same way

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they're still relationship.

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The titles may change, the environment

may change, but human beings don't.

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Now here's something I've noticed over

the years of sitting behind the casting table.

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The actors I remember most

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aren't necessarily the actors who

talked to me the longest,

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or the actors with the biggest

personalities,

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or the actors who made sure I knew

every credit on their resume.

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I remember the actors who made the room

feel better,

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the actors who listened, the actors who

smiled without trying to impress anyone,

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the actors who treated my associate the

reader, the assistant, exactly the same

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00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:03,823

way they treated me.

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00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:05,291

That

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gets noticed.

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Believe me,

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professionalism

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isn't something you turn on when the

audition begins.

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It's something people experience from

you the moment you walk through the door.

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00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,706

I also have been thinking about

something else.

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People don't remember perfect

conversations, do they?

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00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,546

They remember how they felt during the

conversation.

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Think about your own life.

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00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,152

How many conversations can you quote

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00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:33,753

word for word?

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I'm sure the answer for you is the same

for me.

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Very few.

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But

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I imagine you can remember exactly how

certain people made you feel,

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encouraged,

263

00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:48,868

comfortable,

264

00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:50,3

respected,

265

00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,172

heard, inspired.

266

00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,240

That's what stays with us.

267

00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:59,512

Which means the goal of networking

isn't delivering the perfect introduction,

268

00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,683

it's creating a memorable human

experience.

269

00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:09,556

One question has served me

extraordinarily well over the years.

270

00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,524

It's remarkably simple.

271

00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:13,426

The question,

272

00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,829

how did you get into this business?

273

00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,64

That's it

274

00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:19,165

then?

275

00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:19,632

I listen.

276

00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,1

I really listen.

277

00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,804

People love telling the stories that

shaped their lives.

278

00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,674

Casting directors have stories.

279

00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:28,975

Agents have stories.

280

00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,877

Writers have stories.

281

00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,446

Producers have stories.

282

00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,483

And actors certainly have stories.

283

00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,185

Every one of those conversations

284

00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,287

teaches us something

285

00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:46,526

I've learned far more by asking

thoughtful questions than I ever

286

00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:46,826

learned.

287

00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,795

Trying to sound impressive.

288

00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,966

Here's another perspective I would like

to offer.

289

00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,338

Actors often believe networking means

finding the most important person in

290

00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,39

the room.

291

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:00,807

Why?

292

00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,242

Who decides that?

293

00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:06,413

What if the most important conversation

you have tonight

294

00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,481

is with another actor,

295

00:14:09,49 --> 00:14:13,620

or a production assistant, or a

director, or a reader, or someone

296

00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,322

standing alone, wondering if they

belong there?

297

00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:22,762

I've watched this industry long enough

to know careers rarely unfold in

298

00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:23,663

straight lines.

299

00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,1

Today's assistant may become to,

morrow's executive

300

00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,172

to day's classmate, may direct your

next film

301

00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:36,9

to day's intern, may some day hire you.

302

00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,513

That's one reason I often say, careers

don't grow upward.

303

00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,716

They grow sideways.

304

00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,250

Communities expand

305

00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,286

relationships deepen.

306

00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,987

Opportunity follows

307

00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,890

here's something practical.

308

00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,94

The next time you attend an industry

event,

309

00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:58,31

I would like you to give yourself a

completely different assignment.

310

00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,134

Don't try to meet the most influential

person in the room.

311

00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,304

Meet the most interesting person in the

room.

312

00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,673

Notice, I didn't say the most

successful.

313

00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,442

I said the most interesting,

314

00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:10,910

the most interesting.

315

00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:15,48

Someone whose story you would genuinely

like to hear.

316

00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,283

Someone who fascinates you,

317

00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:22,655

someone who seems thoughtful or kind or

quietly standing by themselves.

318

00:15:23,56 --> 00:15:23,823

See what happens.

319

00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,27

I think you'll discover something

remarkable.

320

00:15:28,28 --> 00:15:29,429

The pressure disappears

321

00:15:30,30 --> 00:15:32,799

because curiosity has replaced

performance.

322

00:15:34,34 --> 00:15:34,200

Okay.

323

00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,168

Somebody write that down?

324

00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,469

That was really good.

325

00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,974

Now, let me offer another practical

exercise.

326

00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,175

Once a month.

327

00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,944

Invite another actor to coffee.

328

00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:46,246

Yeah.

329

00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:47,847

Try that

330

00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,718

there's no agenda, no networking, no

hidden purpose.

331

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:57,390

Simply spend an hour talking about the

work, about books, films, life,

332

00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,192

auditions, the business.

333

00:16:00,26 --> 00:16:01,127

Support one another.

334

00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,830

Celebrate each other's victories.

335

00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,366

Encourage each other after

disappointments.

336

00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,636

Build your community before you think

you need it.

337

00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,239

Some of the strongest careers I've

witnessed were built by groups of

338

00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,9

artists who simply continued growing

together.

339

00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,244

Here's another challenge.

340

00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,146

Become a connector.

341

00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:25,752

If you know two people who would

genuinely benefit from meeting one another,

342

00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,154

I want you to introduce them.

343

00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,558

No expectations, no reward, just

generosity.

344

00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,27

One actor needs a photographer.

345

00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,831

Another photographer is looking to

build a portfolio.

346

00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,32

Introduce them.

347

00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,202

A playwright needs actors for a

reading.

348

00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:43,370

For example.

349

00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,105

You know, three wonderful actors.

350

00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,406

Introduce them.

351

00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:48,742

Do that often enough.

352

00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,677

And something interesting happens.

353

00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:55,348

People begin to think of you as someone

who contributes, not

354

00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,950

someone who simply asks.

355

00:16:57,751 --> 00:16:58,51

Generosity

356

00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,287

has an extraordinary memory.

357

00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,559

So let's move on to this conversation,

358

00:17:07,60 --> 00:17:08,628

into something slightly different.

359

00:17:10,96 --> 00:17:14,567

I honestly think it may be one of the

most important ideas in this episode.

360

00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,270

The goal of networking,

361

00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,673

it isn't to become uncomfortable,

362

00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:21,541

it's to become genuinely

363

00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,209

knowable.

364

00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:24,844

That's a big difference.

365

00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,514

People may forget what you said.

366

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,282

They rarely forgot

367

00:17:30,16 --> 00:17:30,984

who you consistently

368

00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:32,786

are.

369

00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,956

We're going to pick up more right after

this.

370

00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:39,959

Welcome back.

371

00:17:40,26 --> 00:17:42,228

We're talking about that bugaboo

networking.

372

00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,131

And here's another misconception I'd

like to challenge

373

00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:51,71

before we conclude this episode, actors

often tell themselves, I have to make a

374

00:17:51,71 --> 00:17:52,639

great first impression.

375

00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:54,74

Do you

376

00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,375

really

377

00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,277

let's talk about that.

378

00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:02,749

How many meaningful relationships in

your own life were built from one

379

00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,317

perfect conversation?

380

00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:06,720

Very few.

381

00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,191

Most relationships are built through

repeated moments.

382

00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,426

You see someone again

383

00:18:14,27 --> 00:18:14,728

and again.

384

00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:20,166

You remember their name, you ask about

something they mentioned the last time

385

00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,402

you celebrate a success,

386

00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,505

you offer encouragement.

387

00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,374

After a disappointment,

388

00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,510

little by little, trust begins to grow.

389

00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,79

The pressure to be unforgettable begins

disappearing

390

00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:38,251

because you no longer are trying to win

the relationship.

391

00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,320

You're simply building it.

392

00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,791

Now here's something that took me years

to understand.

393

00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,827

People actually enjoy helping other

people

394

00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,295

that's true.

395

00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,799

Think about your own life, as someone

ever asked you for advice,

396

00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,535

and you were generous, genuinely happy

to give it.

397

00:18:56,36 --> 00:18:56,636

Of course,

398

00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:02,342

as someone ever thanked you for

encouraging them, or sharing an idea or

399

00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,144

introducing them to someone,

400

00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:05,879

that feels wonderful.

401

00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:06,513

Why?

402

00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:10,717

Because generosity is one of the most

satisfying parts of being human.

403

00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:16,489

Actors often assume they're bothering

people simply by introducing themselves.

404

00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,725

Most of the time they're not.

405

00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,127

People don't mind helping.

406

00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,363

What they mind

407

00:19:24,97 --> 00:19:25,432

is feeling used.

408

00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,602

Those are two different experiences.

409

00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:34,240

You see, healthy relationships have

room for generosity.

410

00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:35,8

Transactional

411

00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:36,810

relationships,

412

00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,313

they don't usually last very long.

413

00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,784

I've been thinking about one word

throughout this entire episode.

414

00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,886

The word is need.

415

00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,557

Need quietly changes our behavior.

416

00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:54,94

Need makes us rush conversation.

417

00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:55,829

Need makes us

418

00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,764

oversell ourselves.

419

00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,666

Need makes us

420

00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:00,834

talk too much.

421

00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,902

Need makes us forget to listen.

422

00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,804

Need convinces us

423

00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,374

that this is one meeting.

424

00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,243

It has to become something.

425

00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,446

But here's the truth.

426

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,47

One.

427

00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,950

rarely changes a career

428

00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,986

100 conversations

429

00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,287

often do.

430

00:20:22,88 --> 00:20:23,790

That's a much healthier way to think

about networking,

431

00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,527

not as one extraordinary opportunity,

432

00:20:28,94 --> 00:20:31,531

but as the gradual building of a

professional life.

433

00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,868

Here's something practical.

434

00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:40,573

These are five relationship habits that

I believe can genuinely change your career.

435

00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:42,242

The first,

436

00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:44,144

become interested

437

00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,880

before trying to become interesting.

438

00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:51,484

The next time you meet someone, ask

three thoughtful questions before

439

00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,119

talking about yourself.

440

00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,656

You'll be amazed how different the

conversation feels.

441

00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,224

Second,

442

00:20:59,392 --> 00:20:59,993

follow up,

443

00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,395

not because you need something,

444

00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:06,66

because the conversation you had

matters to you

445

00:21:07,0 --> 00:21:08,1

a short message.

446

00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,236

It was wonderful meeting you.

447

00:21:10,904 --> 00:21:12,639

I enjoyed our conversation.

448

00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,208

I hope our paths cross again.

449

00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:17,277

That's enough.

450

00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:21,614

No request, no attachment, just

appreciation.

451

00:21:22,182 --> 00:21:25,118

In a world where everyone is asking for

something,

452

00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:25,785

gratitude

453

00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:27,520

stands out.

454

00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:33,293

Third, expand your definition of your

professional circle.

455

00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:37,130

Some of the most important people in

your future

456

00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,32

haven't meant you yet.

457

00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:43,136

They're sitting beside you in an acting

class, working in the production

458

00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:47,640

office, running the camera stage,

managing a reading, serving as an

459

00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:47,807

assistant.

460

00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:51,778

Don't overlook people simply because

they aren't in a position of authority

461

00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:52,812

to day.

462

00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,81

Careers evolve.

463

00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,717

I promise you people, evolve

relationships

464

00:21:58,818 --> 00:21:59,519

evolve

465

00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:05,759

4th, become someone people genuinely

enjoy seeing again.

466

00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,694

How do you do that?

467

00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:09,62

Easy.

468

00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:10,864

Just arrive on time.

469

00:22:11,865 --> 00:22:12,665

Keep your promises.

470

00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:13,867

Learn names.

471

00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,935

Remember birthdays when you can.

472

00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:17,604

I'm terrible

473

00:22:18,38 --> 00:22:18,905

at remembering birthdays.

474

00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,274

I don't know about you.

475

00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,710

I think we need a calendar implant.

476

00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,345

Some days

477

00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,481

congratulate people on their successes.

478

00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:30,383

Celebrate others

479

00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,152

without comparing yourself.

480

00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:33,787

Now listen.

481

00:22:34,20 --> 00:22:35,689

Those things may seem small, but

they're not.

482

00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:41,294

Character is built through small

moments, repeated consistently.

483

00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:43,363

That's what people remember.

484

00:22:44,264 --> 00:22:44,964

And finally,

485

00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:46,32

practice generosity

486

00:22:47,67 --> 00:22:48,468

without keeping score.

487

00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,37

Recommend another actor,

488

00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:55,241

share information, introduce people

volunteer, offer encouragement,

489

00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,310

celebrate someone else's victory.

490

00:22:58,11 --> 00:23:02,82

Generosity has a remarkable way of

finding its way back to us.

491

00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:03,516

Not because

492

00:23:04,351 --> 00:23:06,252

we keep score on life,

493

00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:07,354

because

494

00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:11,991

generous people naturally build strong

communities.

495

00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,394

So I'm going to give you just

496

00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:15,995

here's one more exercise.

497

00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:17,263

Now this one is simple.

498

00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:20,333

The next time you attend an industry

event

499

00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:25,5

don't measure your success by the

number of business cards you collect or

500

00:23:25,71 --> 00:23:27,374

how many important people you met.

501

00:23:27,841 --> 00:23:28,641

Instead,

502

00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,678

ask yourself three questions on the way

home,

503

00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:34,414

did I learn something interesting?

504

00:23:35,315 --> 00:23:37,450

Did I make someone feel heard?

505

00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,353

Then I leave someone feeling better.

506

00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,454

Than when I met them.

507

00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:47,527

If the answer is yes, the evening was

successful,

508

00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:51,664

regardless of whether anything

immediate comes from it.

509

00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:55,201

Because you need to play the long game.

510

00:23:56,36 --> 00:23:57,103

And the long game

511

00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,506

is where careers are built.

512

00:24:01,74 --> 00:24:03,43

So here's your reset for this week.

513

00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:07,380

So just attend one gathering or have

one conversation

514

00:24:08,415 --> 00:24:10,550

with one simple intention,

515

00:24:11,551 --> 00:24:13,586

leave the other person better

516

00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,355

than before you met them,

517

00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:19,459

not impressed, not recruited, not

persuaded,

518

00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:21,928

simply better.

519

00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:27,233

You know, maybe they laugh, maybe they

feel heard, maybe they receive encouragement,

520

00:24:28,268 --> 00:24:31,504

maybe they simply enjoy spending a few

minutes talking with you.

521

00:24:32,739 --> 00:24:33,406

Do that consistently.

522

00:24:34,107 --> 00:24:38,712

And I honestly believe you'll never

worry about networking again,

523

00:24:39,713 --> 00:24:41,915

because you'll stop trying to build

contacts

524

00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:45,118

and start building relationships.

525

00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,122

One quick actual story that happened to

me

526

00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:50,824

was I was doing a workshop.

527

00:24:51,224 --> 00:24:51,791

And after the workshop,

528

00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:56,629

many of those people in the workshop

came up to thank me.

529

00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:59,165

And I appreciate that so much.

530

00:24:59,299 --> 00:25:01,868

It's such a nice gesture to go up and

say, thank you so much.

531

00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:04,637

I learned a lot, or whatever the

comment was.

532

00:25:05,638 --> 00:25:08,975

But it was the actor that came up to me

and said,

533

00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:11,211

I'm from Michigan too.

534

00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:12,946

Did you

535

00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,414

go to school?

536

00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:16,783

Where did you live

537

00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:18,718

when did you come to New York.

538

00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:20,153

To me,

539

00:25:21,154 --> 00:25:22,689

that was just beyond the sort of

540

00:25:23,957 --> 00:25:28,361

hopeful sign of shaking my hand and

thanking me is going to be enough for

541

00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,295

me to remember them.

542

00:25:29,863 --> 00:25:31,998

And I apologize I'm not that smart,

543

00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:35,769

but it was the person who showed

genuine interest in me.

544

00:25:35,769 --> 00:25:37,70

And that's a real world example.

545

00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:40,6

I love when those kinds of things

happen.

546

00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:44,310

All right, so I'd like to leave you

with a final message.

547

00:25:45,478 --> 00:25:49,449

I want you to imagine every

relationship in your career as

548

00:25:49,849 --> 00:25:50,550

a garden.

549

00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:54,287

You don't plant a seed and expect

flowers to morrow.

550

00:25:54,988 --> 00:25:55,955

You prepare the soil.

551

00:25:56,489 --> 00:25:58,992

You water it, you return, you remain

patient.

552

00:25:59,459 --> 00:26:01,127

Some plants grow quickly,

553

00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:03,196

some take years.

554

00:26:04,197 --> 00:26:06,566

Relationships work exactly the same way.

555

00:26:07,0 --> 00:26:07,867

You don't force them.

556

00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:08,735

You nurture them.

557

00:26:09,69 --> 00:26:10,36

You don't rush them.

558

00:26:10,437 --> 00:26:11,638

You invest in them.

559

00:26:12,105 --> 00:26:13,106

And over time,

560

00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,675

something beautiful begins to grow,

561

00:26:16,176 --> 00:26:17,744

not because you demanded it,

562

00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,146

because you cared for it.

563

00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:25,118

So the next time someone tells you, oh,

it's all about Ned working,

564

00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:27,620

I hope you'll quietly smile.

565

00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:31,24

Because now I think you'll know

something more important.

566

00:26:32,92 --> 00:26:34,94

It's really about curiosity,

567

00:26:34,661 --> 00:26:36,896

it's about kindness, it's about

professionalism,

568

00:26:38,98 --> 00:26:38,898

it's about generosity.

569

00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:41,401

It's about becoming someone.

570

00:26:42,35 --> 00:26:42,869

People trust

571

00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:46,706

and someone they're genuinely happy to

see again.

572

00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:49,609

Because after all these years,

573

00:26:50,410 --> 00:26:51,845

that's what I've come to believe.

574

00:26:53,146 --> 00:26:54,414

People don't open Doors.

575

00:26:55,382 --> 00:26:57,617

They don't open door simply because

they know your name.

576

00:26:57,717 --> 00:26:59,853

They open Doors because they're glad

577

00:27:00,987 --> 00:27:03,356

you're the one walking through them.

578

00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:08,94

Thank you so much for spending this

time with me.

579

00:27:08,94 --> 00:27:11,631

To day, if this conversation made you

think differently about networking, I'd

580

00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:14,868

love for you to share this episode with

another actor.

581

00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,237

Also, please leave me a thumbs up, a

like,

582

00:27:19,72 --> 00:27:20,807

subscribe all that kind of

583

00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:23,343

social networking stuff that's out

there.

584

00:27:24,344 --> 00:27:25,612

Because I have a feeling

585

00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:27,480

they've been carrying

586

00:27:28,515 --> 00:27:29,749

the same pressure.

587

00:27:31,51 --> 00:27:31,518

Who

588

00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:35,55

those people that you're networking with

589

00:27:35,388 --> 00:27:35,989

that's who

590

00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:41,61

I'm Jefferies by thanking for listening

to casting actor's Cass until next

591

00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:41,327

time.

592

00:27:41,394 --> 00:27:41,795

Be curious.

593

00:27:42,95 --> 00:27:42,429

Be generous.

594

00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:43,229

Build relationships.

595

00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:48,34

Keep learning, keep growing and keep

telling stories that matter.

596

00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:52,172

Because your career won't be built by

collecting business cards.

597

00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:56,609

It will be built one genuine

relationship.

598

00:27:58,678 --> 00:27:59,512

See you next