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[0:00] Bella Brown: My name is Bella Brown and you're listening to Eleven, the official theatre podcast.

[0:16] William J Connolly: Hello and welcome to Eleven, the official theatre podcast that brings the biggest stars and creatives together in one place to discuss life in the arts. She's the extraordinary star of Jamie Lloyd's Evita that's breaking the hearts of thousands each night as the Mistress in a role and performance that's earned her the love of anybody lucky enough to snatch a ticket. So what does it take to sing a mega hit like Another Suitcase in Another Hall each night? And what about this rather famous bob that we've all come to love? Well, let's find out more as direct from her home we talk all things Evita including playing the Mistress, the genius of Jamie Lloyd's direction for the role and why she wants you to send her suggestions on what she should now call her rather iconic bob.

Plus, as she prepares to take her final bow as the alternate Eva, we talk battling imposter syndrome to step in place of titan Rachel Zegler, why she's not afraid of adding in a cheeky growl or two and how her cast, co-stars and the audience made a potentially terrifying experience one of the greatest moments of her career so far. Plus, she reflects on your social media comments of her performance as the Mistress and alternating Eva, the place social media has in productions like this and how she felt when her Don't Cry For Me Argentina performance soared past two million views in one viral clip. It's megastar Bella Brown here now on this the next episode of Eleven, the official theatre podcast.

[1:44] William J Connolly: Please let me welcome to this the next episode of Eleven, she's the breakout stage star of Jamie Lloyd's remarkable production of Evita that's currently got audiences falling madly in love with her nightly as the Mistress and she's here to tell me all about life at the London Palladium. So I say sadly without her now iconic Mistress bob, hello and what's new Bella Brown, how are you?

[2:06] Bella Brown: I'm good, I'm good, missing the bob, missing the bob but I'm good.

[2:10] William J Connolly: I was worried that I've just spoiled something but people have seen the bob, people know how iconic the bob is right, they've met them.

[2:14] Bella Brown: The B.O.B is iconic, it is iconic and anybody that's not seen it you're missing out, you're truly missing out.

[2:21] William J Connolly: Do we have a name for said B.O.B yet?

[2:23] Bella Brown: You know what, I've never named her and I really think I should, that feels a bit disrespectful actually to have not given her name, I'll have to have a think about it.

[2:29] Bella Brown: Maybe people will remember her as the B.O.B.

[2:31] Bella Brown: That feels a bit disrespectful actually to have not given her name, I'll have to have a think about it, maybe people can help me.

[2:36] William J Connolly: Okay please now start this entire podcast by sending in your suggestions of what we should name the B.O.B, it gets, basically gets a bow every night so it deserves at least a name.

[2:44] Bella Brown: It deserves a name, it deserves a name, it's disrespectful that she doesn't have one.

[2:49] Bella Brown: I'm now terrified about what people are going to send in and suggest so I apologise so your mentions are going to be bizarre.

[2:53] Bella Brown: It's, you know what, I'm excited, give me the, give me the best, give me the best, the best and the worst shall we, best and the worst.

[2:59] Bella Brown: It'll be the worst if I suggest them, but I'm going to think about this while you're talking to me today so I'm going to come back to you on that one, but thank you so much for agreeing to do this, I genuinely appreciate it.

[3:06] Bella Brown: In a time I can imagine, you've had some pretty extraordinary chapters in your career and life so far, this one must be something that I imagine you can't even foreshadow, predict, dream to the world that something in a chapter like this must happen.

[3:20] Bella Brown: You're, we're over halfway in this journey so far, I know it's going to be a sad face to even say that, but you've managed to settle in, you've done the opening, you've done these shows, you've done your, also your alternate shows as well, you've been caught up in the madness of it all. How are you feeling?

[3:32] Bella Brown: The whole thing is like, it's so, as you said, it's like, there's been some great moments in my career that I'm very, very proud of, but this is very monumental and it really is up there with probably one of the most surreal and challenging things I've kind of experienced. And I'm still being challenged, you know, we're, we are a couple of weeks in, we've got four weeks left of the run and still there's, there's moments of being like, every day this show pushes me to learn something new about myself, whether it's a stamina thing, whether it's discovering something new within the story that you resonate with, that you didn't feel last time. A big learning journey.

[4:08] Bella Brown: It's also at the same time, having the most amazing time with the most amazing people. And I can't believe in four weeks, we all won't be on the same journey together because it has been remarkable, but it also, that being said, is so overwhelming. And so like, with, with how, in the best way, with how well it's being received, there's just so much information always coming out in the show. And I think it's, what I've, what I'm learning is really important, is that actually as a company, what we feel about the show and how we keep learning throughout the next couple of weeks that we've got left.

[4:40] William J Connolly: I've had the pleasure of talking to some of your lovely co-stars and everybody talks about stamina, about this show, and the fact that it's not, as I said in the introduction, your traditional stand and sing with Evita. There's so much going on. You are literally running around that stage. And part of your track, when you're not singing this ridiculously iconic song, literally, not too far after A Ridiculous Number, which is classic Jamie Lloyd-Angela Rebel work, but is that you also have to do, and are very much involved in all the dance numbers, all the ensemble numbers as well, which means there is no just park and bark and go and sit in your dressing room and watch Friends. You're on that stage the whole time. So talk to me about what a show looks like for you at the minute when you're playing the Mistress.

[5:16] Bella Brown: So it's, it's about being in the ensemble, being part of the team, then singing this iconic song, and then more dancing, I believe. And then returning, yeah, returning to ensemble, which I remember when I first got this job, I was so curious as to how big of a part of the production I would be. And from the beginning of rehearsals, it was pretty much the get-go was, you are going to be involved in this production as much as the next person, which I felt I really liked. I was like, I really want to be connected to this piece as much as everybody else.

[5:41] Bella Brown: And it's so nice that Jamie and Fabian have had, worked in a really beautiful narrative for the Mistress. Because it is an iconic number, I really feel like they focus so much on being like, okay, this is a moment for her. And it's also an integral moment for both Ava and Che, reflecting on where Ava is in her journey and what Che is trying to teach Ava in that moment as to the Mistress' song. But it was really, really cool the way that Jamie kind of explained the journey of that song to me and kind of what, how it was going to add to the narrative and how I was going to continue on once the number was done.

[6:24] Bella Brown: So she starts off as one of the Descamisados from the beginning. She's one of the people that Ava is trying to champion for within her political career. And she, I see her in a similar way to Ava, Mistress sometimes, but not necessarily quite executing things to a level of commitment that Ava does. And she just doesn't have the willpower that Ava does to be able to come in and be like, this is my space and I'm going to be assertive and take this charge. And she kind of gets blocked by Ava in that moment. And then, you know, the whole nature of the song is, well, what happens and where do I go? And I kind of thought this about myself and maybe that's not the right thing. Actually, maybe I should try this direction.

And she descends from the stairs. She, you know, she's come from the top and she's heading her way back down. As she gets to the bottom of those stairs, she's greeted again by her people, by her fellow Descamisados. And she rejoins them and comes back to this way of life. And I think it's so beautiful. That way she can just, you know, she edges her way back into a normal way of life. So when you see her throughout the rest of Act Two, it's not jarring. You're like, oh, well, I've just seen you with your people. So yeah, of course you'll join them again. So yeah, it's really beautiful.

[7:32] William J Connolly: It's really beautiful, especially when you talk about the staging and you explain the staging and the visual imagery, which is essentially, I think, more than most productions, this extra player, which Jamie does so brilliantly. But then also it must be nice for you because you do get to be with your people. Then you get this lovely breakout moment, which is this gorgeous song, which I imagine is a joy to sing. And then you get to go back to being with your friends as well. So you kind of get the best of every world, I guess.

[7:54] Bella Brown: Absolutely, absolutely. I'm so glad to have like a moment to sing. As you said, the song is iconic. Like so many people, like throughout drama school and stuff growing up have sung this song. So to kind of, you know, take ownership of it in a way, some like every night is really beautiful. But I'm also so grateful to be part of this choreography. Fabian's choreography in this show is so detailed and so, so integral to the building blocks of this narrative that it's so, I'm really glad that I get to be a part of that because it is such an impactful moment in the show. I also get to go, yeah, I get to sing this number and I also get to be part of the choreography. So I'm impacting the show both through movement and through song. I feel very lucky.

[8:38] William J Connolly: When do you start to transition from being in the ensemble and being with your peers to being more of a solo performer ahead of that song? When do you find yourself starting to transition?

[8:46] Bella Brown: Probably I imagine bring your breathing down and your concentration down a little bit and a bit more insular.

[8:52] Bella Brown: Absolutely, it's pretty early on actually in act one. Once Buenos Aires is done, that's the moment where I'm like, okay, I'm feeling it's, you know, that number is very much, it's quite descamisado heavy. There's a whole section of it that's like, there's a whole set, like the whole first couple of minutes of that number is the descamisados and Ava. And I'm like, okay, she's here and she's in Buenos Aires. This is, she's with, she's part of the ensemble here. And as soon as that number is done, I exit stage to go put my wig on and take off the dress to reenter for the Art of the Possible. And as soon as I reenter, I am the Mistress. So for me, that journey starts on pretty early. So once I'm off stage, that's a moment for me to be like, okay, I'm off stage and I can breathe.

And I can start that process of becoming the Mistress. The wig goes on, I take off the dress and I go to take one of the balloons for Art of the Possible. And that's the moment where I go, okay, I'm about to reenter the stage with a narrative and with an individual purpose, rather than a, like an ensemble group purpose.

[9:54] Bella Brown: So when I reenter that stage, I'm thinking, okay, this is a moment that I'm about to meet Perón. He's part of the military. He's part of the army. And I know that he's a man of significance. So when I reenter, I'm going in with my own agenda.

[10:07] William J Connolly: And do you put the narrative first or do you then bring the song into the narrative or do you put the song first and try and explain where she's at with the song? How do you sort of build her as a person in that moment when sort of you become the focus?

[10:19] Bella Brown: It's pretty much from the get-go. Cause I feel like with, I think, I actually think the wig is such a smart, was such a smart move from Jamie to incorporate that. Like once she comes on stage, she's immediately set out from all the other Descamisados. Your eye is drawn to her and you go, okay, you're different, but I'm not sure why yet. So for me, I'm sat there going, okay, I'm already immediately somehow paired with the man that I want to be paired with. So I'm starting that journey of going, okay, in my head, I'm going to, I'm going to like make my presence known to this man and hopefully work in my favor. And at the end of the Art of the Possible, he turns around and he's like, there's this woman here that's been waiting for me.

And it's great. And he's now a man of authority. I think that's attractive to her. So for her, I'm not thinking necessarily about what's the song that I'm about to sing. I'm thinking, okay, actually, I've got a shot here at making my life as the Mistress better. And I guess it starts when it's shut down quite quickly. They head into the charity concert. It's a public event. Perón is speaking to the people of Argentina.

[11:19] Bella Brown: And that is a moment where I think she thinks she's arrived and she's made it and she's gonna start this completely different life with this man. And then I'm present for the whole meeting of Ava and Perón in the same sense that Ché is, and she's observant, and I think she's... I see her and their interaction and I think it's not happened yet. I'm still in the picture, I'm still on stage, I'm still present, like I can still have a shot at this. And she's then still present for the moment that they share a kiss with each other, and Ava turns to her at the beginning of the number, and it's that process of listening and being told that you are no longer necessary and you've served your purpose.

That's the moment where I go, okay, the narrative and the shift, and that is when the song and that kind of journey of discovery about how she's now going to navigate the rest of her life, that's when that starts for her then. I just think it's so interesting, like the fact that the removal of her position comes from Ava and not Perón himself says so much about the dynamic of Ava in the show, and I do think it's... I just think it's so smart, I think it's so clever.

[12:26] William J Connolly: Do you think audiences are starting to figure out who she is from the visual cues before we're told very clearly who she is, or do you think they wait until that moment?

[12:35] Bella Brown: I think it's... I think because there's so much going on within the production, there's so many people you meet, and then Migaldi comes back into the mix during the charity concert. I think it's quite easy to be like, oh, something's happened there, but I'm sure we'll come back to it. In the second that it comes back to Ava and the mistress, that's when they go, oh, okay, yeah, that's what that moment was. Because it feels so extraordinary in the theatre, and I'm sure you're very well aware of it, of when that transition starts happening because it's a legacy piece and people understand what's going to happen. They sort of maybe are starting to piece it together, and then when the music starts, it feels so extraordinary as an audience where you sort of feel everyone tense up for a moment that they're all waiting for... not to add the pressure on to you, but you know people are so excited to be with you, and you know audiences are on your side.

You know they love this song, they want you to do a good job, they want you to be successful and enjoy it. And I can imagine, you know, sometimes songs are quite dodgy, but I imagine actually when you've got a song like this, it's probably quite a lovely moment to share with an audience before you've even done anything.

[13:31] Bella Brown: It's a lovely moment to share with the audience because I think the show is so high intensity that it gets to that moment and everything is just quiet. It's quiet and it's still, and it's simply me and the audience, and it's so great. It's such a special moment because it's the first moment I feel like the audience can kind of come back down to earth and come back down to reality and sit and simply watch one person. This, as I said, there's so much choreography and intention and told through movement that this is one moment because it just comes to one girl and her experience and a reflective moment on everything that's just happened so far in the first act. It's so personal. I swear that's why I love it so much.

It's literally just like a moment for the audience to just... like I feel like they get to sit back so much and go, wow, this spectacle, and then they get to sit back and lean in and go, oh, I really want to listen to what you say because the words are so impactful in this number. I feel like it's a moment for the audience to really listen in and focus. It's just one person on stage, so it's really special.

[14:36] William J Connolly: Okay, so the killer question for somebody that would never ever be able to do what you do, because one, I can't sing, which I guess is kind of the point, but also I wouldn't be able to deal with the pressure of the fact that this is a song similar to "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" that I know has had a lot of success with Rachel in the charts. Is that this also did the same when it was released? This has been covered by a ridiculous number of icons. So how do you start to make that make sense? How do you ignore the noise from outside, the expectation, the fact this is like a pop song as well as a musical theater song? This is technically, and Andrew O'Donoghue has pulled this apart many times, very challenging across many people's breaks. How do you make it feel comfortable for you, or do you know that you've got it and you just have to be in the moment and trust in yourself? I guess how does it make sense in your head?

[15:18] Bella Brown: I really lead quite heavily on the narrative of that number. I think because it has been done so many times and I think people think that they know this version of this song, I was like, I'm kind of in the best way not necessarily going to acknowledge other people's interpretations of this number. I really wanted to find my own, and the journey lyrically that she goes on and musically through that song. Like she starts, for me anyway, she starts in a very, very different place to where she ends the song. The beginning of the song is, I listen and I think, okay, well what she's saying is, well, I don't expect my love affairs to last for long. She's kind of aware of that. Within the same breath, she says, I never for myself, but what happens now?

And it's the first time she turns around and actually confronts her to herself. I thought I knew something about myself, and actually I'm not sure. And again, I'm not sure other people's approaches on it, but for me that kind of initial, like the beginning of the song is like that initial shock. It's like, whoa, someone has told me that I'm no longer... I'm no longer necessary, I'm no longer needed. And then it's the same verse musically, but the lyrics are different. She descends down the stairs and she moves and she says, time and time again I say that I don't care. So again, it's a bit more resilient than the last verse that the first one was very, you know, it was shocked, it was taken back, and she's processing what's just been said to her.

And by the second and third verse, I find she's becoming a bit more assertive and taking charge a little bit more of the fact, okay, yeah, I actually don't know what's gonna happen, but it's not the end. Yes, it's the bottom, but the only way is up. And I think there's a beautiful journey lyrically that I can follow. So again, I guess I didn't want to necessarily follow what other people had done or how other people had sung it, but lyrically, I was like, lyrically she has a journey for me that goes from strength to strength to strength. So that's kind of how I find the song anyway for me.

[17:09] William J Connolly: Do you think that's also why it feels so special when she does take the bob off? Because it feels like it's not someone taking it off her, it's her going back to herself?

[17:15] Bella Brown: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think again, there was a... we did a Q&A with Jamie and Fabian about two weeks ago, and one of the questions was about hair in the show and how would, like, what was Jamie's process with allowing people to have their own hair? And I thought it was such a brilliant question because there is so much unity in the costume where you clearly see this is one group, this is another group, this is the military, everybody's unified in a group, yet people's hair is so individual. So the second she has the bob on, from the second you meet her as mistress, you see that she's been placed almost, like I said, like in almost a place of authority. She's kind of separate from everywhere else, and she's being made into this image of Argentina that Perón wants to apply to her.

And she gets to that last verse and she takes it off, and it's like, that's not my identity. My identity actually is completely separate to this image that he was trying to make of me. And I find it so... it is so powerful. She takes it off herself, actually. I do, I'm sure the people, because Alicia has been on for mistress as well, have their own interpretation of it, but she takes it off and she's discarded. It's like, I actually don't even want to be associated with that anymore. Like I want to return to what I know and what is comfortable, and that is shown so much through the hair. And I think the bob does play such a significant part of that journey. She takes it off and it's like shedding that extra layer of skin, and then also adding on top, I guess, the sense of conformity in that era, particularly under the looming reign of Ava, where she then puts the dress on over the top, which is always... it's almost like going back to herself, but also giving herself some form of security and conformity at the same time. It's an interesting juxtaposition of two individual things at the same time.

[19:06] William J Connolly: Absolutely.

[19:06] Bella Brown: She's... and what I love is that Keeks, who's one of our best gamisados, is the person to bring it to her, and it's a moment of, like I said, unity and like in the juxtaposition of the wig and the dress, she returns to something that she knows and is comfortable and it's home for her. So yeah, it's really beautiful, really beautiful.

[19:26] William J Connolly: Isn't Jamie Lloyd clever?

[19:26] Bella Brown: It's so... isn't he an absolute genius? So, so brilliant.

[19:35] William J Connolly: When you first auditioned to be part of this production, was this always the plan? Was it that you were going to be the mistress? Did you apply to be in the... I don't apply as if it's a job. Did you audition to be able to be part of the ensemble? I guess where did you think you were going to be putting yourself?

[19:47] Bella Brown: I, when I was first in for my audition, I wasn't called for mistress. I was called for ensemble. I did an ensemble dance, and I did... I took a song of my own choice for a first round, and then I did another dance round. So I was like, I'm very much kind of... I was like, I am in for an ensemble track. It wasn't until like my third or fourth round that I was actually given them the mistress material, which was interesting. So yeah, it was like halfway through the process I was like, oh, this is also going to be something else to look at.

[20:22] William J Connolly: So when did the discussion of the mistress start to come in where you thought, oh, this is maybe not what I thought, but this could be interesting?

[20:27] Bella Brown: Yeah, I didn't go in with the intention of or the thought of playing the mistress at all. So when it was like my third round, I think I'd been asked to sing some... to sing the mistress material, I was like, oh, this could be really, really interesting. Again, because I wasn't sure how much of the process I would then be in for the ensemble, if how big a part of the mistress was going to be in this particular production, because there was just so little being said about what was going to happen in the room. So I was like, okay, this would be... I was like, I knew the song, and I thought I would love... I was like, I was 100% set once I got that material. I was like, I would love to do the mistress track regardless of however much or little she was going to be in it.

And when I'd got it after the last round, I'd still done quite a lot of dance rounds, so I was like, oh, I have done a lot of dancing, and I have done, you know, I've done some of the mistress material a few times now. I was like, they've seen everything that I can... everything that I have to offer. So I was like, I guess I will leave it with them. And then, yeah, that first day of rehearsals, it was made pretty apparent that the mistress and the ensemble were going to be working hand in hand, really.

[21:31] William J Connolly: And if you feel comfortable sharing, at what point did they also bring in the Ava alternate options to you, just in case you hadn't got enough to do?

[21:37] Bella Brown: I did my whole audition process without ever auditioning for Ava. It was never... I hadn't... I hadn't even considered it. It wasn't something that ever came to me either. It was most of the time, I think I'd got offered the role in the January before rehearsals in April. I was like locked in the whole, like, two months before we started being like mistress. And it was about three weeks before rehearsal started that I got a call from my agent, and he was like, um, we've... we've like the green rod team have asked if you would submit some tapes for Ava. You know, no pressure, but they just were wondering if it would be something you would be interested in. And I was like, it can't hurt. I was like, we start rehearsals in three weeks, I guess, you know, might as well give it a shot.

I sent some tapes, and genuinely a couple of days later, they were like, you're... yeah, they would like you to be the alternate. And I was like, all of a sudden I went from being like, okay, I've got my track, and then I've also got the most...

[22:37] Bella Brown: One of the most insane roles in musical theatre history. Also, in the back pocket, I was like, this completely turned my life around when I knew that I was going to have to learn that track. It was going from learning, you know, I've done a lot of covering in previous jobs, but I've gone from thinking I have one track to learn, to now two pretty intense tracks. And I thought, okay, I'm gonna have to get my head down in the next two weeks before rehearsals start. And you knew at this point that Rachel was going to be leading as well. So you knew that you were going to be covering for Rachel, which, yeah, easy job, right? Rachel Zegler is an absolute titan of this industry. To cover her, you know, I was so nervous.

I really was. I can't lie, because I just thought, she is an icon within her own right, as an actress and as a singer. And I thought there is going to be a certain expectation that comes with that, because she is such a champion of her craft. I thought, I don't know how I'm actually going to follow that and what is going to be expected of me as an alternate to be able to follow that. But again, pretty early on in rehearsals, Rachel had kind of asserted herself as someone that was really approachable, which is so nice as a cover, because you don't always get that when you're covering. She was just so welcoming and offered so much support. I was like, this score is insane to learn. And she was always so open, like, this is kind of how I’d approached it.

And I was like, thank you so much. It's just so nice to have that knowledge that somebody else is also learning this as well. She was so open to sharing what she was discovering with the role with me, which was so relieving. It's also important to say that you are an alternate for Eva, which means you do in this production, which doesn't always happen, perhaps similar when people are in understudies, you have guaranteed shows. This is not Rachel's not feeling it, which meant you knew, you know, sometimes you do jobs and unfortunately the stars don't align. You get to learn it, but never do it. But you have now very publicly got to do it. So I guess initially, what was it like knowing you've got to do this ridiculous song in your normal track, plus also the ensemble stuff? And then you're also definitely 100% going to be doing it as well. When did you first start to transition into that? Maybe I should consider a little bit of me as Eva, because it's going to happen.

[25:01] Bella Brown: Yeah, it was a bit like that. For a lot of the rehearsal process, I was so focused on Mistress that I'd had some rehearsals musically and I was like, this would be really cool. And it was so cool to watch Rachel discover this role. It wasn't until we kind of got to tech and we'd moved into the theater that the piece was kind of forming and I was staging things on stage. I was like, I'm actually going to have to do this. As I said, when you cover it, it's like, oh, it will be great to have the opportunity to do this. I was going throughout the rehearsal process going, no, I actually really need to be on my game and know this track like the back of my hand, because in two weeks' time, I am actually doing this.

So it was daunting, to be honest. Especially because, you know, people on stage form very close relationships with each other. And that's the nature of the show, like Che and Eva and Perón, they never leave the stage. So you end up forming a relationship with each other on stage that you learn and you learn with those people. I thought, I'm also going to go on, like 100% go on and go into a version of the show that's kind of already found its feet. And these people, Diego and James, are so used to Rachel's interpretation of the show that I was going, is my interpretation of Eva going to lock in and work alongside theirs? Is this going to be a world in which our characters mesh together? I was nervous.

But again, Diego and James are so open and so ready for a challenge that I felt like I'd gone on to that first show and felt so supported by everybody, like whatever choices I was making on stage, I felt like I'd influenced, it was part of the influence of how they would respond to me. I was going, well, I don't know how you're going to play this, because I've done it in cover rehearsals with somebody completely different. It was so nice to then be surprised and go, okay, you've delivered like that. We actually have the space to find a version of this show together. So it was daunting, but again, uplift and uphold this company. Everybody is so supportive of each other that there wasn't actually any room for going on stage and not feeling any other type of way, really.

[29:23] Bella Brown: One thing that the Jamie Lloyd Company has had a lot of praise and credit for is not just the fact that Rachel was really bigging up, the fact that you were going to do it and really showing up for you and passing the baton to you and giving you ownership of the role, but also production imagery was released. And of course, there's also the set shows and the bit outside, the bit where everyone's got a phone, everyone's got a camera, there's pictures, cameras, video clips, everything. I mean, that Getty footage of you has like 2 million views of you singing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina," which means the world has seen. So it means that hopefully, I know these things while always daunting, hopefully, you felt like you had the right to be there in your space and your opportunity to show you.

And I love the fact that audiences were saying, oh yeah, I love Rachel. I've seen Rachel, but I'm showing up for Bella today. And I want to see you. And I imagine, even in all of the noise, I hope that that shone through to you and you knew that people were showing up for you.

[30:16] Bella Brown: It really did. It really did. Because as I said, I was like, this is so daunting. And like, Rachel stands so well on her own. And this show stands so well on its own that I was thinking, gosh, I could be received any type of way. And then to go out there and do that first show, I knew that people had booked because it was, you know, it was all online that on Monday, the 14th of July, the role will be played by Bella Brown. Immediately, like the reception was like, this girl's probably really nervous. Let's show up and show her the support. As soon as I saw that, I was like, there isn't anybody here that is wishing me anything other than the best of luck. And when you kind of have that, you do kind of like, I had a bit of imposter syndrome with it first being like, gosh, I know I'm the alternate.

I've got a couple of scheduled dates. But I, you know, it's not really something that's mine. I can't take any ownership of this. And that was pretty much then from the get-go, not the case. They're like, we're going to release this footage of you. You're going to be on the balcony. Everybody's going to see this. And you have got, you know, you've got everyone's support behind you. And I was like, so I can take some of the authority and go, yeah, I actually have the space to go. This is a role that I am here because, you know, I have also put in this, you know, I put the work in and people recognize that I'm doing my best. I only want to go out there and give a show that is equal and worthy of Rachel's absence, you know, so, and it has been received well. I thought, thank goodness, I feel like I can get rid of that imposter syndrome and just go, yeah, take a bit of ownership on this.

[32:43] Bella Brown: Received well-being in the understatement of the century. Bless you for being humble. I mean, when it does, it was just so like, because I really did think I was like, this could go any type of way. People could love this and people could hate it. And when it was received positively, I just thought, okay, I can just breathe a bit and relax and take off some of that pressure that I put on myself. I don't think it's spoiling anything in this production by saying there's a very definitive little drum roll and a beat, and then there's a very strong light and it's very much like, and here she is. It's kind of your first entrance as Eva, it's very specific. So what was it like the couple of moments just before that?

And then if you then transition to the end of the show, what was it like when you, the sign goes out, which we've seen the extraordinary Kurt Cobain, and you made your descent down as you, similar in the way that The Mistress does, but getting to present as yourself. What were those two moments like for you as the human, as the artist?

[33:40] Bella Brown: It is really kind of one of those surreal moments where in theatre you are allowed to be yourself on stage and put a little bit of yourself into something because we spend so much of our time as actors receiving material and going, okay, well, who is this character? And what makes this person this person? And what's their journey throughout a body of work? And actually being able to kind of open a show and go, the first thing you're seeing is me, not said anything yet. I don't need to say anything yet. You simply take in my presence and what I have to offer is really powerful. And it's so fun to play with. And it's the same again, you get to the end of the show, you've been on, she's been on such a journey as Eva from the beginning to the end of the show that you then come to the end of the show and you can relax out everything that you've just left on stage, breathe and go, I'm just back to being me again.

I'm just back to being a person that has told a story. I'm just a person telling a story. So it really is quite monumental being able to open a show and close a show and be present in yourself and not have to think, you know, I'm still this person, I'm still championing this narrative and actually be able to just breathe, like exhale all of that out. It's great. It's really great.

[34:11] Bella Brown: It's been such a journey, honestly. I think back to when I first joined the ensemble, and I never imagined I would be here, performing as The Mistress and now as Eva.

[34:20] Bella Brown: The support from the audience has been incredible. Every night, stepping onto that stage, I feel the energy and love, and it really pushes me to give my best performance.

[34:45] Bella Brown: Performing "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" has become such a significant part of my routine. It's a beautiful song, and I love the emotional depth it brings to the character.

[34:55] Bella Brown: And then there's the bob! I mean, it's just hair, but it feels like it’s become a part of my identity on stage. I can't wait to see what names the audience comes up with for it!

[35:15] Bella Brown: Jamie Lloyd's direction has really shaped my performance. He encourages us to explore our characters deeply, and that has made a huge difference in how I approach The Mistress.

[35:35] Bella Brown: Social media has also played a big role in this journey. It's fascinating to see how it connects us with the audience and allows us to share our experiences in real-time.

[35:55] Bella Brown: When I stepped in for Rachel Zegler as Eva, I was terrified. She's such a titan in this industry, and I felt the weight of that expectation. But the support from her and my cast mates helped me find my footing.

[36:15] Bella Brown: I remember the moment my performance of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" went viral. It was surreal to see it resonate with so many people. What started as a daunting challenge turned into a defining moment for my career.

[36:35] Bella Brown: The love from the audience has been overwhelming. It’s a reminder of why we do what we do, and I’m so grateful for every single person who has come to see the show.

[36:55] Bella Brown: I think the future of theatre is going to be so exciting, especially with how social media is evolving. It’s a new way for us to engage with our fans and share our stories.

[37:15] Bella Brown: I’m looking forward to what’s next, both for myself and for the industry. There’s so much potential for growth and connection.

[37:35] Bella Brown: And I can't wait to see how audiences continue to respond to our performances. Their reactions are what fuel us as performers.

[37:55] Bella Brown: It’s all about creating that shared experience, and I feel lucky to be a part of it.

[38:15] Bella Brown: I really hope that my journey inspires others to pursue their dreams, no matter how daunting they may seem.

[38:35] Bella Brown: Every step has been worth it, and I’m excited for what the future holds.

[38:55] Bella Brown: Thank you for having me on the podcast. It’s been a pleasure to share my story and connect with everyone.

[39:05] Bella Brown: I hope to see you all at the theatre soon!

[39:25] Bella Brown: Remember, keep dreaming big and don’t let fear hold you back.

[39:45] Bella Brown: Let’s keep the conversation going on social media. I love hearing from everyone!

[40:03] Bella Brown: And don’t forget to share your thoughts on the show. Your feedback means the world to us.

[40:23] Bella Brown: I’m so grateful for this opportunity and for all the love and support I’ve received along the way.

[40:43] Bella Brown: Here’s to more magical moments on stage and in life!

[40:53] Bella Brown: Thank you again for this amazing experience.

[41:13] Bella Brown: I can’t wait to see what’s next for all of us in this beautiful world of theatre.

[41:33] Bella Brown: Let’s keep pushing boundaries and creating art that resonates.

[41:53] Bella Brown: I truly believe that we are just getting started.

[42:21] Bella Brown: So, let’s embrace the journey together!

[42:41] Bella Brown: I’m excited to continue sharing my story with all of you.

[43:01] Bella Brown: Thank you for being a part of this incredible chapter in my life.

[43:21] Bella Brown: I look forward to what’s ahead and hope to see you all soon!

[43:41] Bella Brown: Until next time, keep shining bright!

[44:01] Bella Brown: And remember, the stage is always open for you to step into your dreams.

[44:21] Bella Brown: Thank you for listening, and I’ll see you at the theatre!

[44:41] Bella Brown: Bye for now!