This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:02] Jennifer Apple: Hello. Welcome to this week's episode of the Empowered Artist Collective Podcast. My name is Jennifer Apple, she/her. And this week I talk to Lauren Noll. Lauren and I have known each other through many seasons of our lives. And I have her on to talk about the transition from really being theater-focused into film work. As you will hear, Lauren is someone who is incredible at setting goals, is really great with structure, and has really put the pedal to the metal in acting, writing, producing, directing her own work. Lauren shares her experience with her first short film called Honor, the projects that have come after. She's candid about her learnings, tools she has found helpful along the way, and mindsets to keep you honest with yourself throughout your journey and the ways in which you can surround yourself with other artists who can lift you up and teach you on the job. So without further ado, enjoy.

[1:00] Jennifer Apple: Hi. Welcome. Hi Lauren.

[1:03] Lauren Noll: Thanks for having me.

[1:04] Jennifer Apple: I'm so excited that you are here.

[1:07] Lauren Noll: Me too.

[1:08] Jennifer Apple: This is this is like I feel like our friendship has taken some like interesting longer weird turns through all of this. So it's so great to have you in this capacity and also just like in this moment.

[1:20] Lauren Noll: Thanks.

[1:21] Jennifer Apple: No, same. I feel like maybe that's just like getting older.

[1:24] Lauren Noll: Yeah.

[1:25] Jennifer Apple: You're just like, wow, like you have these friends from different parts of your life, and lives just change.

[1:30] Lauren Noll: Yeah.

[1:31] Jennifer Apple: Like so much.

[1:33] Lauren Noll: Yes.

[1:34] Jennifer Apple: If you've known someone for a decade, like you've probably known them through a couple of different lifetimes.

[1:39] Lauren Noll: Yeah, and I mean it has, I feel like it has to have been a decade at this point or almost, right?

[1:43] Jennifer Apple: Yeah, because I'm trying to think when I was like in New York and in class.

[1:48] Lauren Noll: Yeah.

[1:49] Jennifer Apple: Yeah, 20, like 2013, maybe.

[1:53] Lauren Noll: So coming up.

[1:54] Jennifer Apple: Yep. 2013, 2014.

[1:58] Lauren Noll: And we had to share our grad school together.

[2:00] Jennifer Apple: We did.

[2:01] Lauren Noll: That was a thing.

[2:02] Jennifer Apple: That was totally a thing. Gosh, yeah, like lifetimes. Well, tell the listener who you are today.

[2:08] Lauren Noll: Hi. Hi, I'm Lauren Noll. I am, uh, I'm gosh, this is what we're here to talk about.

[2:11] Lauren Noll: This is what we're here to talk about. What is my identity? Um, I'm an actor, uh, and that's what I have done most of my life, um, in various mediums, uh, but now I am also a filmmaker, which includes, um, producing, writing, and directing in terms of sort of overall creating my own content, which is literally why you're here because we were talking about this before we even pressed record, but it's just so you know, I feel like I've been such a cheerleader from afar watching all of your stuff and the amount of projects that you are churning out and the ways in which you are showing up and creating, and it's for me, I'm super pumped for you and just like cheerleading on the side, but that's, I mean, you know, obviously the inner workings of it all is a totally different experience, which is what I imagine to chat about.

But you know, you've been doing so, so much and I guess obviously you have lived a life prior to, you know, putting on the filmmaker multi-hatted human self, but I guess in your shortened version, like what brought you to be doing that now?

[3:35] Lauren Noll: I, uh, geez, I wish I had like a really super clear answer for that. I mean, I just feel like it was just kind of the ride that my life took. Uh, but you know, I when I met you, um, we were both really focused on musical theater. Um, I sing too, and it's not something I do a lot of anymore, though I miss it, and I'm sure I'll do musical again at some point in my life. Um, but that that was sort of my initial, uh, pursuit in terms of after I left like a smaller market and moving to a bigger city and graduating from college with my BFA. I, uh, went to New York and pursued musical theater. Um, and film acting, I think I started taking like, um, Heidi Marshall's screen acting class while I was there because my agent at the time recommended me when I mentioned to her that I was interested in being represented for, um, for like, you know, TV and film as well.

And, um, so I, you know, I sort of like had that planted. I th the most I'd really ever done was maybe like a student film when I was in college, but it was very super theater focused. Um, which to be honest, I think that's because formal acting training is so theater focused. And so, um, you know, after spending a few years in New York and feeling like, I don't know, like kind of like I was hitting a wall, though if I look back, I'm not sure that I was. Um, but you know, I just thought, okay, you know what, I've had this kind of goal to go get my MFA for some time. I thought about it, you know, earlier after graduating, um, from undergrad, and it just sort of re-entered my mind when I was in New York, and it just felt like, um, something that I wanted to do to sort of like refocus. Uh, because I, I sort of like let the survival lifestyle of that New York hustle just like sort of wear on me, and I was just looking for a reset and a place to like immerse.

[5:43] Lauren Noll: Yeah. Um, and so for me, I chose a very expensive master's program. I don't think you have to do that to have the experience that I did. While I love it and I'm grateful for my training, um, you know, that was just what I did at that time. And so I went through some life changes during that time. Um, uh, you know, I had a very major relationship in my life and during that time, and it was just sort of this moment of rebirth anyway. And so I sort of surprised myself by coming to LA rather than going back to New York after I graduated from that program.

[6:16] Jennifer Apple: Yeah.

[6:16] Lauren Noll: Um, and then in doing so, that is like immediately sort of a switch in, uh, focus, um, from stage to screen, though there is some theater in LA and I have done some theater in LA. You know, it's more of a film for sure industry here. So, uh, so in doing so, I, I, um, I just started, you know, auditioning. I managed to find some representation out of my, uh, showcase. And, you know, they started submitting me, and I was auditioning, and I was like feeling pretty proud of my auditions, but also it was just hitting that wall then of like, oh, I've spent my whole career up to this point building a resume for theater, and I don't really have a resume for film and TV.

[6:59] Jennifer Apple: Right.

[7:00] Lauren Noll: And, um, even where I was getting great feedback on my work, it was just kind of like they were like, uh, but we went with somebody who, you know, had some films under her belt or had some current TV credits, whatnot, blah, blah, blah. So it became clear to me, and everybody said this, they were like, well, you've got to create your own work, you've got to make your own stuff. And I was like, I went to school for acting for like however many years, two degrees later. I didn't go to film school. And, you know, having been someone who had two degrees, I'm very like, that's my way into something is like a class and a test and a this. And now I know it. And so just to like learn this whole other, uh, you know, multiple skill sets, actually.

Yeah, I, I just, I was feeling like super overwhelmed by it. For so for the longest time I didn't. I was like, well, I'm not a writer, I'm an actor, I'm not a director, I'm an actor, I'm not a blah blah blah, I'm an actor. So I don't know what to do. And then finally one day I was like, stop, just stop.

[7:55] Jennifer Apple: What was that moment? Like what made you have the stop moment?

[8:03] Lauren Noll: Um, was there a particular moment? I don't know. It was probably another audition or something like that that I felt like super great and felt like I'd gotten some good feedback and maybe had moved like a little bit in a certain direction with it, and then it ultimately came down again to like gotta have the credits, need the footage, need the this and that. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna make something. Um, and so initially that that became that that started as sort of a vehicle, I guess, for myself to just have um some materials, you know what I mean, that I thought might help me as an actor. And then I sort of, uh, it took over, like here's because at the end of the day, like I, I saw this film, um, at Dances with Films recently, and it was, um, it was sort of a it was about this writer who was sort of on this sort of pursuit and like this one hit writer and he had, um, taken this retreat to try and write something else that mattered and there was this idea that was like okay what do you want to be like what's your real goal is it to be seen as a writer is it to be like giving the appearance of being a writer or do you have something to say right and so I think I think that was what ultimately happened because the first thing that I wrote um was just bigger than me it was bigger than myself as an actor it was bigger than you know I did I did play the lead role in it and you know that was sort of my initial motivation to be honest was just to give myself something to do something to work on as an actor but um but the story just became like it turned out there was something to say and I think that that is super important and then when when that happens other things fall into place and um sometimes you're not the like the right person for a certain role or for whatever and then you can like reach out to your community and um and and fill it in the way that best serves the the story which is then in turn the best thing that serves like the audience that will receive it and how it will impact their lives.

[8:39] Jennifer Apple: Yeah. Do you want to talk about that first piece? Because it's awesome.

[10:22] Lauren Noll: So it's called Honor and it's a 15-minute short film. Um, and I wrote the script primarily in a writing class.

[10:33] Lauren Noll: So that's what I did. Again, me school, school, school type. You don't have to be that way. But I signed up for a class when I decided I wanted to make something, I was like, well, let me get in a writing class.

[10:44] Jennifer Apple: And was it a screenwriting class or just like a writing, a general writing?

[10:48] Lauren Noll: Uh, a screenwriting class, yeah.

[10:49] Jennifer Apple: Cool.

[10:50] Lauren Noll: Uh, so my teacher, uh, Olivia Cuartero Briggs, um, was instrumental in sort of I, I don't know. I it's just like if somebody is like, tomorrow come back with three pages, and it needs to this is the exercise. Like we're working. Do you remember when you like, I mean, I, I don't know if all of the audience of this podcast will have this experience, but like if you're in an intro acting class and you start doing these like little scenes, and every time they're like introducing a new thing, like this one is room conflict. So now you already have to have, you know, your objective and your tactics, and that's already built in. But now we want to work with like something that's going on in the environment that would potentially be an obstacle for you.

It was things like that. It was like kind of you you do that in learning screenwriting too. It's like building in conflict. And so we would have these like little assignments, and you know, I learned about the structure of a screenplay. And I do think whether you take a class or not, or like learn from say picking up a book or just talking to a friend of yours who studied screenwriting, um, it's, uh, it is good to know the rules so that you can choose to break them.

[12:05] Lauren Noll: Correct. Um, you know, like it'll just set you up for more success if you understand that like a story needs conflict. You know what I mean? A protagonist needs a flaw, you know, things like that. So I signed up for a class and I ultimately I, um, did you have this idea going into it?

[12:22] Jennifer Apple: No, so that's the thing.

[12:23] Lauren Noll: I knew I wanted to write a film that I was gonna make. And then, um, at this point, gosh, it was before COVID. So this would have been because we shot this in 2019, in December of 2019.

[12:37] Jennifer Apple: Thank God.

[12:38] Lauren Noll: Wow. We shot it in December of 2019. But, um, we so in April of that year, my alma mater, uh, my undergrad alma mater, which is uh BYU, Brigham Young University, which is a um Mormon church-owned university. There were students there that started protesting the honor code office on campus. And I was seeing this story, and it was like I was so blown away because when I had been at BYU, it was just such a it was not like a protest culture school. People were it just felt very much like, um, people go there to be obedient. And I mean, of course, you have some along the way who don't, but like primarily people don't question things, don't, you know what I mean? And I mean it's a look, it's a great school.

There's a lot of educational value to be gained there, but um, because it's owned and operated by the uh LDS Church, you know, these sort of moral codes of conduct are put on that are maybe like stricter than at the University of Utah or some other state school, you know, it's not just about plagiarism, but it's about like your curfew, like how long you can hang out with people of the opposite sex before you have to go back to your own places, like when they're allowed to be in your apartment, like definitely no sex before marriage, definitely no drinking, no any of that.

[14:10] Lauren Noll: Um, and so you know, and I think if you come into BYU, you kind of know like that's the environment and that's the culture but what these students were really protesting was actually the enforcement methods of the honor code not necessarily you know the code itself. I was just blown away because I was like wow look at these students go they're like standing up for themselves. I started to reflect on my own experience because I went to BYU as sort of a very devoted member of the LDS church and while I was there is when I had sort of my own discovery process about like my sexuality and the fact that I was interested in women and I had my first girlfriend in like my final year there. And so I lived in fear of this thing all the time.

It was the thing that could strip my degree away from me after being there for four years. And it was all like if anyone found out about me and my girlfriend like I could be turned in and then kicked out of school without credits that were really super transferable to other universities and this happened to some people that I know and so I was watching these students protest this and I was like oh my gosh like when they tell you like pick that one story the thing that like only you can tell that you know so well I was like that's it I have to tell this story about you had that moment of this was it in that class or was that percolating and then the teacher Olivia right Olivia's her name was like pick the thing that only you can do when you're like that's it.

[15:45] Lauren Noll: What was the moment? Uh no, I'm and I think I think I was searching for well, what story do I want to tell? What should I write about? I mean, I feel like I knew that it was gonna have like a queer lens on it because that's just my lens. But um, but then I I so it had been sort of percolating in my mind, like what should I write? Because I knew at the end of this class, our final sort of project was supposed to be a 10 completed short script, like a 10 page script. Um then this I saw the story about this protest happening at BYU, and I was like, oh, there we go. Like that connects, like I can dig into that and talk about what it's like to sort of live in fear of that as like a queer student at BYU, particularly a queer female student at BYU, and um, and also in it, there are layers of like the identity crisis that is that moment if you've been sort of if you've had this one belief system, but then you learned something else about yourself.

Uh and then, you know, just took the sort of interview slash interrogation that would happen in the honor code office. And I talked to a lot of my friends that had been through that process about like what the experience was like for them so that I could keep that as authentic as possible. And um, and then we just you know, sort of use that scene to talk about what that experience might be like.

[17:23] Jennifer Apple: Wow. So you wrote this in that class, you came out with a 10 page short. How much change before you and or how much time between the time you finish that to either developing it more or like it in this?

[17:39] Lauren Noll: I can't remember exactly, but I think it was like, gosh, because I was doing this play. Speaking of theater, I was doing this play that year in like April. And it was after that point. So it was like maybe May or June that I had sort of like finished a draft that we were done with this class. And at that point, because I already went into it with the intention of like we're gonna make this. Okay. Um, and then on during the play that I was in, I met my friend Lily Richards and her partner Caitlin Coombe, and um I sort of wrote the one of the characters in the script for Lily, and then Caitlin, um, they both went to Emerson and Caitlin went for producing, and she had produced the web series that Lily and she made together, and she agreed to come on as a producer, and so then I started finding my people, you know what I mean?

[18:31] Jennifer Apple: And so that was my next question. Like, how did you go about discovering that?

[18:35] Lauren Noll: So that like that was it. So that's the other thing is you don't have to do it all on your own. Um you have to do a lot of it on your own because especially if you're working like scrappy, if you don't have like a lot of money, it does take money, like even if you're trying, even these last two films that I just made for like on the like just a shoestring budget, like we still we still spent money, you know what I mean? And and so that's one of the things I think that's also makes it hard to start. And so um you know, like so you you you do learn to do a lot yourself that otherwise it would be lovely to delegate out and hire out, but um, but you know, I found this team and they were willing to come in, and so if you can just find somebody who like compliments you and who has maybe a similar vision, who cares about the story too, um, you know, that's when we started.

Like, I had I had someone who knew more about how to make a film than I did, yeah, on my team. And so uh I attached to that, and that was maybe like uh yeah, May June, July. And then yeah, oh my gosh, it must have been because then I remember we shot this. Um we found our DP and we shot this uh footage um in the summer of that year because I again didn't know anything about editing, but just did it anyway. I just figured out over the course of the day how to put this little teaser together from our footage that we grabbed.

[20:05] Lauren Noll: Um, and then I compiled that so that we could start a fundraising campaign. So we were fundraising in October of that year, and I used Seed and Spark, um, which I think is a really great platform, and I think everybody gets to do one crowdfunding campaign in their career, yeah. As some people do many and like are really have learned how to do it. Uh it is a full-time job. Like, yes, you are going to then operate on the goodness of people's hearts and all these donations, but it's it's like you gotta be in people's faces, like yeah, every day, all day for a month, and you're just like hoping that your relationships stay intact and people understand it, you know what I mean? It's it's it's uncomfortable.

You're stepping outside of your comfort zone to do that, but I do think it's a good way to get something off the ground, um, you know, for your first project, and so we used Seed and Spark, and we raised um we met our goal there, and then uh we just set up how much did you try to set our date from that?

[21:11] Lauren Noll: I think I want to say my goal was fifteen thousand dollars and we raised twenty two. Yes look at you in the month of October. That was crazy. But I mean it was a lot of puzzling but also you now that I've made also I've made films for $2,000 which I want to talk about.

[21:36] Jennifer Apple: Yeah yeah yeah I I don't I don't think it was like necessary but it it made me feel really good to be able to like pay everyone who worked for me like a decent wage you do run into like sometimes people are willing to work for favors but they might not be willing to do it more than once or um you know or you can trade or whatnot and and people people jump ship boy because when they uh understandably so because like something a paying gig comes up and then you like start losing your crew so it made me feel like uh really really one good about paying the people who were there um for their craft and then uh two it just kind of gave me that security of knowing that it wouldn't fall apart.

[22:20] Lauren Noll: Um I mean it will in some way or another but it wouldn't fall apart because of that. Uh but yeah so that's that's what we did and then I even still I hadn't finalized the script at that point. Um so yeah, I I think I was just sitting on it going like okay I need I know this needs revisions and then it way I you start learning when you go into production um you can write the dream version of your script but if it has like a cast of like 30 characters and then like you know part of it takes place on the moon or like whatever then it's gonna be more expensive to make so ultimately um aside from like just streamlining um and getting like right to the point of the movie um I also just needed to strip it down to two locations for that for the sake of budget and so that's kind of what that rewriting process was like ultimately so I'd say I wrote the thing in May and we shot it in December and before COVID hit which would be March we were pretty done pretty well done with it we did a few more things in post virtually after that um but by June of the next year I was submitting a finished film to festivals and whatnot.

[23:38] Lauren Noll: And then doing really well doing uh really well on the festival situation. Um well we got it we got a lot of rejections too I mean clearly everything gets rejected at some point but nobody talks about that.

[23:52] Jennifer Apple: No except for me.

[23:54] Lauren Noll: Well no but I think that's a real thing. I think that's a real thing to acknowledge I'm not gonna let you like sit in that because I want to give you the praise that you deserve but yeah I think for all of anything that we put out there's gonna be the people that don't believe in it and then people that say no thank you and yeah and and for some film festival I mean it's just part of the learning curve of doing this the first time like 15 minutes is runs a little bit long for a short film and there were a lot of programmers who got back to us that didn't program the film that were like we just didn't have the the you know what I mean like the time to fit it into a block but we loved your film I was like okay there's another little bit that I learned, like aim for 10 minutes, 12 minutes.

[24:35] Jennifer Apple: Yeah.

[24:36] Lauren Noll: With a short film in the future. If your goal, if your goal is to play at festivals, maybe.

[24:43] Jennifer Apple: Do you feel like that is a goal for you now?

[24:46] Lauren Noll: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think the festivals are what led me to the next things that I did. It's just in terms of like marketing, especially for something like a short film, which is most likely not aiming for like a distribution deal. I mean, there's places, there's platforms, there's a lot of amazing platforms now where you where your short film can live after you're done with a festival run. But um, you know, it's not the same as like the kind of distribution you're you're looking for when you make a feature film. And um most for most people, a short film is like a calling card, uh, because it's like here's what I can do. Um, and so I think just festivals gave me the opportunity to put that in front of people to meet other filmmakers who may want to collaborate on something else moving forward, and they're just a they're just a good time too.

[25:42] Lauren Noll: You know what I mean? Like there's some really great festivals out there that that really celebrate their filmmakers um and make it an amazing experience for you. And I think after putting in the hard work uh to make the film come to life, it's kind of nice to have those celebratory moments.

[26:03] Jennifer Apple: Yeah, yeah. Well, to not not that I don't want to hear more about honor, but after this whole festival situation, where you then re ampt to be like, okay, this is having its moment, I need to turn out the next thing. Was it actually I've realized that I really love the directing and producing part of this? Like, what made you then decide to continue creating and putting therefore more hats on as you did so?

[26:29] Lauren Noll: My uh my friend Dahlia, who is one of my primary collaborators now, um she hit me up in I guess last year it was 2021 about a film competition uh called Collaboration Filmmakers Challenge.

[26:50] Lauren Noll: That's it. Um it's uh rather than like a 48-hour film festival, um, it's a two-week uh film competition. So it's sort of like also nuts, but a little more doable uh to make something from start to finish in that time. And she had done it before for a couple.

[27:09] Jennifer Apple: Do you have to apply for the like that to be a slot in it, or is it like anybody can do it and then you can just sign up?

[27:14] Lauren Noll: Yeah, yeah, you can just sign up. Uh and then you there's sort of an entry fee to sign up. Um, you can sign up as a filmmaker if you want to like create a film, or you can sign up as a key collaborator if you want to present yourself as a um, you know, uh cinematographer or a director or whatever you do, uh, you can also sign up in that regard and then go and just jump onto other people's films. There's this big mixer at the beginning of it, and they give you this quote, which you have which has to inform your film in some way, um, which is I guess sort of how they try to keep it uh yeah, or and also just to keep people honoring that two week um, you know, because it'd be easy to just get a jump start and have a script ready to go when you get there.

[28:05] Lauren Noll: And maybe some people do, but then once you get the quote, that might flip everything on its head, and so you have to sort of integrate that in some way, and then at this mixer, everybody meets each other and you find people who fill your crew or fill your cast or whatever.

[28:22] Lauren Noll: So she hit me up and at that point Honor had had its festival run and she had also made her a short film, her first short film. She has a very similar experience as me coming to LA as an actor and then just like making shit happen.

[28:36] Lauren Noll: Yeah. And so her first film she'd made shortly after I'd made mine. And she hit me up and she was like, "Hey, I want to do this two-week thing, would you be interested?" And I was like, is that a moment where I was like, when am I gonna do the next thing? Like it's the money thing, like, can I ask for money again? I don't feel like I can, or like whatever. And this was just a like say yes moment of just like yes, and then two weeks later, like process it all like because you don't have time to think.

[29:05] Lauren Noll: Right. So that's when we made Gen V. And yeah, that one I was not in as an actor. So that was the first time that I directed and then we co-produced, and I was like, you know what, just for this two-week competition, yeah, let me just let's do this. I'll focus on this, and then we can write you a role and I'll direct and that will help us like stay streamlined and be able to get this thing done.

[29:34] Lauren Noll: And so yeah, that was the first time I had an experience like directing solely from the other side of the camera. Did you and obviously clearly you liked it because now you're doing it.

[29:46] Lauren Noll: Yeah, I did. And it see that film opened up an opportunity for me to be to have my name thrown in the hat for a directing job for a feature film. And it those are those moments where you're like, oh man, like, can I do this? Could I do this? And then you sit down with a script and you just go, well, okay, what's my take? How do I envision this? You start like you know what I mean? And by the end of that, I went and sat down with this writer and had a pitch that I was super proud of. And you know what I mean? Like it just work begets work.

[30:22] Lauren Noll: And I just think if you just start, just find your team and just start. It doesn't have to be perfect, the first thing you make. Yes, strive for excellence, like absolutely by all means, but you're always gonna level up, you know what I mean? So just wherever you are, start there, and yeah, and then that landed me this opportunity to have like a very serious sort of opportunity. Like I think I went all the way down to her final two pick for this, you know, for this job. So and that was just because I all of a sudden, you know, like two years earlier, I was like, I'm not a director, and then yeah, yes, I am.

[31:12] Lauren Noll: Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, so yeah.

[31:19] Jennifer Apple: Have you been using the same monologue for years and could use a new piece? Are you applying to BA, VFA, or MFA programs and need a monologue for that process? Are you someone who simply has no idea where to search for monologues? Well, lucky for you, I do what is called monologue sourcing, in which I find monologues specifically chosen for you.

[31:43] Jennifer Apple: So many artists use pieces based off external labeling for types and roles rather than find pieces sharing who they really are and what speaks to them. So we'll meet virtually together. You share who you are as a human, what you love, your dislikes, your values, beliefs, family, friends, love, politics, you name it. I will help guide you through this. And then I go off on my own and find you monologues chosen just for you that fit like with love.

[32:10] Jennifer Apple: I've been doing monologue sourcing for years as an extension of the coaching I do with artists, and I have found pieces in this way for over hundreds of artists thus far. So if you are someone who wants to feel empowered about the monologues you bring into rooms and use for auditions, I would love to help you find them. And because you are a dedicated listener of the Empowered Artist Collective Podcast, I want to provide you with a custom link to an exclusive rate when you check out today.

[32:37] Jennifer Apple: Head to EmpoweredArtistCollective.com slash podcast promo to register. That's empoweredartistcollective.com slash podcast promo right now. I cannot wait to help you find monologues you absolutely adore.

[32:54] Jennifer Apple: I mean, this is not a fair question, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. Of the producer, actor, director, writer hats, at the moment, which one are you favoring? Or which one are you feeling the most copacetic with at the moment?

[33:08] Lauren Noll: That's a good word. I think it's still actor.

[33:15] Lauren Noll: Okay. Because that's just that's just what I love. Yeah. But I have fallen in love with the like ownership aspect of being the creator. Um, and I don't know, you know, there's probably several actors listening to this. It's just one of those things like you get auditions, like this is all you ever wanted to do, and then you get an audition, yay, and then you get the script and you're like, this is bad. You know what I mean? Like so much stuff that you audition for is bad.

[33:50] Lauren Noll: And I think just like making something to your own taste that you think is good, that you think you know what I mean? Like is a story that you think matters, like chances are you're gonna find its audience, and so they think it matters too, you know what I mean? And I think, or even just like finding a tone, like a humor, things that you think are funny, you know. Like, I just think there's so much freedom in doing that.

[34:17] Lauren Noll: And if you ever do want to direct and act, because the film we made after Gen V, we did that competition again this year. Okay, it's called Clean Slate, and I was like, you know what, this year I want to be in it. Um, and I would do both, I would do both again. Um, I hope that I have a career that includes both moving forward, but I do think that um, you know, my heart still loves to like jump inside of a role and yeah, yeah.

[34:48] Jennifer Apple: In terms of the technical part of or like the tool aspect of like how one creates, what have you found along the way were some things that you a wish you knew earlier, or like you found yourself in a position where you're like, oh, I don't know, and I'm making this up and now this next time now I have this. Were there any particular moments in any of these capacities that you kind of had that for yourself?

[35:07] Lauren Noll: So many times, um all the time like still I do think well one I would love to start with like don't let that be the reason you don't do it and you don't start um because I had zero ideas about how to make a film when I began and I so you other people like you're gonna eventually get a crew together and those people know what they're doing and they know what their jobs are so eventually you're gonna have to find somebody to shoot it so you're gonna have a director of photography and that cinematographer they have worked on their craft and they know what they're doing so it's okay to go to to not because I was like well I don't know what to tell them about like I don't know how to make a shot list like is this medium like super wide like ultra close like I don't know like I don't know what lenses we're using he I didn't even know what the difference between anamorphic and spheric was and he was like do you think we want to go like anamorphic anamorphic or spheric and I was like what does that mean and he's like oh like square or rectangle which there's so much more to it than that but that's the way my brain understands it right and so you know I I just leaned on him and so we you can get together with somebody who knows what they're doing and be like okay so in this scene here's what's matters and you can use your storytelling the thing you know right use that and go like this is where we need to feel like the intimacy between them.

[35:07] Lauren Noll: This is where we need to feel more of a sterile environment. And then they know what to do. You know what I mean? Like directing is sometimes just having people like filling a room with people who are good at what they do. Yeah. And lay and leaning on them. So one, don't be afraid to start. Two, yes, I have learned I now know what anamorphic means and what spheric means. Of course, there's like things like that that you pick up along the way.

[37:07] Lauren Noll: Um we had a crazy experience with um sound in Honor, which was that some of it just disappeared because that we had recorded in our first day. Yeah. Our sound recordist was working with some equipment that she'd never used before. And um, you know, just things like double check and make sure you got everything because then we went the majority of um the issues in our post process were trying to add the stuff that we had lost.

[37:46] Lauren Noll: And we had the, you know, we got in some studios, we figured it out, and it was this sort of we'd lost this one super long rambling monologue in which like half the time my head was turned away from camera, and so I had to like match up exactly like what like what matched the lips, but then also keep going and match again when my head turned. It was just like wild. Yeah, it was wild experience, and we got it, and you you would stare at it and you couldn't tell that anything was wrong with it, and still it just felt like it wasn't from that room because it wasn't.

[38:32] Lauren Noll: You know what I mean? And we he we had an amazing sound designer who's blending in the room tone and like doing everything, like it just still felt like it wasn't there, and so we ultimately came up with a different solution to just cut it all together and tie the tie the scene together. In my film, it cuts back and forth between these two places between a room she's in in the present and then her memories of like what happened that got her there.

[38:57] Lauren Noll: And so we just cut back to me in the room and recorded some voiceover, and then you just constantly in that memory, and so it just worked for that. So I don't know, things like that, just like double check, make sure you get room tone. People always forget that. Um, you know, it that's that's the thing is that it's just like when you learn this way rather than just going to school and learning from like class, it really is all just sort of symbiotic.

[39:27] Lauren Noll: Is that the word that I'm trying to find? What does that mean? Symbiotic means that it like each thing relies on the other thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it just sort of like one thing flows from one thing to another, and you're just like it sort of sinks in in a different way than like learning it from a textbook, you know what I mean? Not that that's what film school is, film school is very practical, but you know, it's just um I don't even think I could like name all of the things that I know now.

[39:55] Lauren Noll: I think if somebody pointed it out to me, I'd be like, Oh, yeah, I totally didn't know that when I started, and now I do. Yeah, and there's a bazillion things I still have yet to learn.

[40:04] Jennifer Apple: Do you find as you've continued going through this that your confidence has changed? Or what do you feel about you as you enter into these rooms? Clearly, having learned on the job and learned well on the job to continue getting and developing, you know, more projects. But how have you felt as you continue moving into this new sphere coming from where you started?

[40:31] Lauren Noll: I mean, um, like yes and no. Yes, I have. Yes, because I've done it now, and because uh things I've made have like received awards and accolades and things like that help, right? And you're like, oh hey, like other people think it's good too, you know, or maybe you weren't sure if it was good, but then you then you got something they're like, oh okay, like somebody thinks it's good.

[40:56] Lauren Noll: Uh and and so uh yes, in that regard, like I'm not scared to take on a project again. I'm like, okay, I know like we've got a crew, we've got a team, we've got people we work with now, we're gonna continue to meet new people who will be incredible collaborators. I have the confidence to do it again because I've done it before. Uh and yet there is like never an end to that imposter syndrome, I think.

[41:26] Lauren Noll: Um, like I definitely have moments of like I I don't know, I just think anybody I've ever talked to, like you level up and then you get there, and that's a level that where you were before, like you would look up to, right? You'd be like, oh, someday, like look at so and so who's at this level, like if only I could just be there, and then you get there because you do the thing, right? And then you're going to these like film festivals or to these things, and then you see somebody who's they like all of these future films, and they have a star in their film, or they have this and you know what I mean? There's just always and and then they start speaking to you to you in language that you're like, uh, like I don't know that terminology because I didn't go to school for this or whatever.

[42:12] Lauren Noll: And so then you have that moment of like ah, what am I doing here? Like, I don't know anything, and then you you constantly it's it's just a I think the battle of anything, and just it's so important to take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

[42:29] Jennifer Apple: But what do you do in those moments for you? Clearly, you're aware of it, you know.

[42:33] Lauren Noll: Yeah, oh, totally, totally. Uh I mean sometimes I just did have a complete meltdown, and I get and I go there, and like and then on the other side of it, you know, you wake up, you shake it off, and you have a good community, have a system of support in your life, hopefully, whether that's you know, family, parents, chosen family, partners, your own collaborators, you know, whatnot. Um, and then and and then too, I think you know, after you've done that a few times, maybe like when you can feel one coming on, you can then check in with yourself and remind yourself, like, oh yeah, I felt this way before, but then I made another film and people really liked it, and it meant something to some people, and um I'm proud of it. So like there's I think it's just there's like that that perfectionism mentality that like I've struggled with my whole life, which is that you're standing at letter A and all you see is letter Z.

[43:36] Jennifer Apple: Yeah, and you just want to like be there, and you're not getting yourself the grace to like walk through the whole alphabet and just take the steps it takes to get there, you know.

[43:45] Lauren Noll: And I think that it's just like you know, really important to remind yourself that like everyone, nobody was born Steven Spielberg, Steven Spielberg was born Steven Spielberg, but he wasn't he didn't win an Oscar straight out of the womb, you know what I mean? So, like and also just remembering that come letter G, if you didn't, you know, continue on the alphabet, you wouldn't have met this current collaborator, and then you wouldn't have, you know, like you need the other letters to complete the full alphabet.

[44:14] Lauren Noll: But it also reminds me, I watched um that J Lo documentary on Netflix, I think it's called Halftime. Um I I appreciate J Lo. She's not like, you know, I'm not like J Lo, but I was like, okay, this Netflix clearly thinks I'd enjoy this, so I should probably watch it. Thank you, algorithms. And so I watched it, and I guess I didn't know the intricacies of you know her experience with the movie Hustlers, and how she thought that this was going to be the vehicle through which she is she'll finally get nominated for an Oscar, but certainly win an Oscar. And you know, I it kind of relates to what you're saying, and that we forget that even people who are at the quote unquote top of the game are not are being rejected.

I mean, it's clearly like, oh, she didn't get nominated for an Oscar. Like, sorry, so must be awful for that. But but for her, that was like the next leveling up of her career. And she was nominated for a Golden Globe. She thought she was gonna like people kept talking about it, and then she didn't even get nominated for the Oscar and this whole dream and the people propelling her around her saying, This is gonna happen for you. Of course, this is your moment. Yeah, like, and then she has the full letdown of, oh no, I'm not even, I'm not even given the opportunity to be nominated for it, let alone winning. And it's like, oh, right, just because you're playing at this level up here, it doesn't mean that you get all the things that you want either.

[45:29] Jennifer Apple: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[45:30] Lauren Noll: Oh, no, totally. And you'll also you'll often meet people that are at that level too that sometimes you they'll level with you and they'll be like, Yeah, every day I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. You know what I mean? It's it doesn't end, and so just like check that and go anyway.

[45:48] Jennifer Apple: Yeah. We talked about this on on an earlier episode with Jazz Hall and just you know, this idea that in some ways imposter syndrome or the words around imposter syndrome, well, first of all, like if we were to unpack imposter like already, like or a syndrome, like just the words themselves are such a wild labeling, really.

[46:06] Lauren Noll: Yeah, but you know, that every single person is susceptible to feeling those things, and that in some way that actually can be a unifier, really, if you recognize that you're walking into a room and every single person from wherever they are in their life is entering with that in some way. It's like, oh no, no, no, no. I know I feel alone right now, but truly everybody knows what this feeling is for themselves. Um, it's not a solution, but I've found it to be a little bit more helpful.

[46:34] Jennifer Apple: Oh, 100%. And it starts to feel that way the more you get out there and just open your mouth and talk to people.

[46:40] Lauren Noll: Yeah. Um, and you you will learn things that you didn't know, you know, just by going and doing the thing. Um also you know more than you think already. Like, no, I couldn't open premiere and cut my own film, but when I sat in an editing session, I understood the beats and I understood the timing and I understood what mattered to the story, and I knew how to communicate that to my editor, and that's all you have to do to be able to finish the film. You know what I mean?

[47:07] Jennifer Apple: Yeah.

[47:08] Lauren Noll: And also if you want to learn to edit so that you can make your own film and you on a budget and you don't have the budget to hire an editor or don't have a you know a friend to call for a favor in that regard, like uh YouTube, like you can just get a the software resolve software is free. DaVinci Resolve is free, and you can sit there with YouTube. I mean, if you're devoted to you know what I mean, and then and then all of a sudden you can shoot it on your iPhone. What was it? Tangerine was shot on an iPhone, I think. I think. Um, you know, there's there's just things like if you want to. My friend made a web series that was shot on an iPhone. She edited it herself. Um, you know, they they did certain things to elevate the production.

I mean, I I think she had to sound is important. She had to, so that's where they put their money, was into hiring a sound recordist and mixer. But you know, like you don't have to have like a super full crew, like you can make things with a smaller crew, like you just you just need a camera, you need good sound, you need good light.

[48:14] Jennifer Apple: Is that how you did the 2000 one that you were just talking about, however many minutes ago?

[48:18] Lauren Noll: So okay, so here's the thing with those is that that those were part of this collaboration filmmakers challenge. So a lot of our crew we got from the people participating in that. So that was sort of a little bit different because there's just this environment of like, yeah, you're gonna come and jump on, you're not gonna expect payment, we'll feed you, but and we'll credit you, but like also I'm gonna help you with your film, and also you know what I mean. So that was more of that. That's like the vibe of that competition. Uh though I think you know, we there's certain roles you we we couldn't fill from that, you know. It it was easy to find maybe um other actors. Um you know, maybe I think we got our editor through that, but you know, uh Grip and Gaff, all your camera crew, like they those aren't usually the people who are at those events, though we did find an amazing C who work for the rest of my life, and I can't wait to like have money to pay her next time.

You know what I mean? Like that it did happen. So I don't know. I think we ended up paying our makeup artists because you need to. They have a kit, they're using their materials. You need to at least cover that. Um we maybe paid a colorist for Gen V. There's certain things, you know what I mean? So it's not like we had to spend some money. We had to each year we rented one of our locations and then we used a free location. Um, you know, you you do what you can. There's like little bits, but it makes it more manageable.

[49:44] Jennifer Apple: Yeah.

[49:45] Lauren Noll: Yeah.

[49:45] Jennifer Apple: As we begin to wrap up our time. Um, I know I kind of asked a version of this, but is there anything just generally that you wish you knew as an artist overall when you were younger, starting out, transitioning into different parts of your career that you feel would be a helpful share for anybody listening?

[50:09] Lauren Noll: Um, one, like nobody's gonna do it for you. So decide what it is you want, and then map out your ABC, you know what I mean? Uh break it down into tangible steps, too. Uh, because I I used to think like, oh, as soon as I have an agent, like that's the silver bullet, or as soon as I have, you know, this, or if only I was this, like it it's just not like just if you have something to say, if you have a story to tell, sit down with your computer. I don't even care if you have final draft or whatever. There is a free software program for screenwriting called I think it's spelled C E L T X. Um, or you know, if you feel like splurging for the final draft, that's sort of the industry standard. Even you can open up Microsoft Word.

Just start putting words on a paper. You know, you can pick up a book, you can YouTube story structure, um, but just start writing. I I think so one, nobody's gonna make it happen for you. And two, I think this is particularly for people um who've had a path of maybe like formal acting conservatory style training programs. You learn so much there. You learn about story, you learn how to bring it to life, you learn how to heighten stakes, you learn how to do all the things that you need to know how to do to tell a story there. And that's amazing. And yet sometimes in those programs there's a very like stay in your lane mentality because right if you're if you're say you're hired for a theater production and you're an actor there's a director there's a stage manager there are words that you're bound to right like there is a job and and yes you should be directable.

You should be a good collaborator. You should you you know but I think it's drilled so much into your mentality and I think that was one of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome was just I had gone through so much of that that I was like no I'm not a writer I'm an interpreter of someone else's words. No I'm not a director I am supposed to be directable. You know and I'd sort of taken on this like role of what the actor's job is and devoted myself to it. And then when I wanted to create my own work, I had a really hard time because I sort of like identified with this path. And so I think just anything you can do, yes, won't it be amazing when someday you're hired on a production and all those roles are in place and you can just do your one thing, but it is also like that there's a time and a place for that, and it's an incredible thing to be a part of like a well-oiled machine like that that feels very hopefully you feel very like valued as a collaborator in that environment, but also there's so much like reward for putting on a bunch of hats and just making something happen, you know.

And I think that is something I would just advise to like you know, check and just check in with yourself and have some awareness and like yeah, maybe you don't want to write, maybe maybe you have a story to tell, maybe you have an idea, but you'd rather give it to someone else. That's okay too. But if you do, or you want to direct, you can learn anything. Yeah, you know, you don't have to just do the one thing that you went to school for.

[53:40] Jennifer Apple: I love it. Um thank you so much for sharing so openly and going on this wild journey with me during our time together. If people wanted to check out the work that you have created, or they want to collaborate with you in some capacity, or they just simply want to like follow along on your journey. What are some of the ways in which people can reach out to you respectfully within your own boundaries?

[54:08] Lauren Noll: Yeah, absolutely. Um, you can find me on Instagram, which is just my name with an underscore in the middle. L-A-U-R-E-N underscore N O L L. Um, yeah, I would love to hear from folks. Just pop into my DMs if you have any questions or want to chat about something, or you're like, hey, I live in LA and I do this. Um I I'm in Yeah. I I make movies and I'm never gonna stop. So I I always want to find more people to collaborate with.

[54:46] Jennifer Apple: I know we should do something.

[54:48] Lauren Noll: For real. We should make something. Um yeah, I would love I would love to hear from folks.

[54:53] Lauren Noll: Perfect. And I don't think any of my actually, none of my films are available publicly online. But if there's anything I talked about that strikes anybody's interest, you can always reach out to me for a screener.

[55:04] Jennifer Apple: We love it privately.

[55:05] Lauren Noll: Yeah.

[55:06] Jennifer Apple: We love.

[55:07] Lauren Noll: Thank you so much.

[55:08] Jennifer Apple: Of course. Thank you.

[55:10] Lauren Noll: Thanks for having me. My pledge.

[55:14] Jennifer Apple: What a wonderful reminder that you know more than you think you know. For me, it was really helpful to be reminded of that in this episode, in addition to all of the other things that we talked about. And as always, this episode is here for you when and if you ever need it. With that said, if you like this episode, please like, follow, rate, and most importantly, review us. This allows us to continue having these types of conversations to meet other artists. If you did not like this episode, just let it all slide. If you have not already done so, please follow us on Instagram at Empowered Artist Collective, on TikTok at Empowered Artist Collective, on our website at Empowered Artist Collective.com. And if you're seeking some merch, you can find it in our show notes. As always, I am so grateful that you keep on coming back, and we will be back again next week. Until then.