This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:30] Robert Peterpaul: Hello friends! I hope you're having a sunny start to summer. June is Pride Month, which I think is a beautiful time for us all to embrace the weird and wonderful things that make us unique! I know I have a lot of them. Mostly weird things, okay. As AOK guest and Tony winner J. Harrison Ghee eloquently puts it, we have to free ourselves to see ourselves. To celebrate, I thought I would play you some fun clips from LGBTQ plus AOK family members cut together by our intern Carly that hopefully inspire self-kindness in you this Pride Month and beyond. If you enjoy these little snippets, I do want to remind you that all these episodes are streaming in full wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's start with our friend Javier Muñoz, who you might know from a little show called Hamilton, discussing his advice for accepting yourself.

[1:28] Javier Muñoz: Well, you know what, first of all, I think of this in the same way as I think of any personal journey. It is always the thing that I constantly say. You got to be gentle with yourself in the process. I think that is a fundamental place to begin no matter what you're talking about. But if you are talking about being an LGBTQ plus person, and you're talking about finding your community, your place, your purpose, your worth, your beauty, your calling, your endurance or persistence to keep going, whatever it is, I think the first place to start is just be able to look in the mirror and just be kind. Let that inner voice be kind to you. There's enough out there that's going to want to silence you or make you disappear or just have you vanish into the background.

Why feed it? Don't feed that. We all face that every day to some degrees. So when you're with you, let that be so gentle and so loving and so kind to you and start there. I think that is the best advice I can give because there's plenty of energy out there that wants to make us LGBTQ plus folks feel like we don't deserve joy and love and equality, but we do. Of course. I think there's this thing in life where the energy you're putting out is kind of what you get back. Across communities, I mean, how many people do we know? I'm pointing at myself. How many people of us, how many people am I? How many of us, let me try that again, look in the mirror at least a couple of times a week and are like, you're so ugly.

You have nothing to wear. We talk so poorly to ourselves a lot. Do you have specific ways of, I guess, even just self-care? What kind of recenters you? You mentioned laying on the couch and just chilling.

[3:55] Javier Muñoz: I have a lot that recenters me because you know what, and I think prior to Hamilton, I had a handful of things that were my go-tos, like hiking or having coffee with a friend. Those are very much things that still ground me, but in order to survive the whirlwind that was Hamilton, I had to really find daily things that kept me grounded and connected and not overwhelmed because it was... I always joke around and I call Hamilton my blonde ambition tour, Madonna's big first thing that redefined how people perform concerts forever. It's like, that was my blonde ambition tour. I did it and it's done. I'm never doing it again. The demand every day during that show, and I was in it for so many years, so I really had to come up with ways to nourish and feed.

I meditate every morning. I journal every morning. I occasionally pray. I am not a church-going person, but I do have a faith that I believe in and it's my version of it for sure. I do all those things consistently on top of the time with friends, the getting to nature. I need nature. I need to be by water just quite often. I just need to sit and be by the water. I don't have to do anything. I just need to be by it. Sometimes I'll fill up a bowl of water in the kitchen and just watch it. It's the way you can get. Put my finger in and watch the ripples. You gotta work with what you got. Sorry. Next up, we have the spectacular drag queen, Nina West, who gives us more reason to believe in ourselves.

[5:47] Nina West: I think it's another lesson in how people have given me kindness and how I've received it is that a lot of people throughout my story and my career have lifted me up and put me on a level to really try my art, whether it be drag or writing or theatrical performance, what have you, and have allowed me to make mistakes and fail and ask questions and come back better and stronger. I have been lifted by a community back home in Columbus, Ohio. My drag mother, Virginia West, is a huge voice who got me really started in drag and allowed me to flourish and find my own path and carve that path two decades ago in Columbus, Ohio. There's a lot of champions I have in my life who've said to me, you're worth it.

I have to remind myself also because we all have those, as RuPaul calls them, those inner saboteurs. We all have those voices inside of our heads that are like, you don't deserve this. You're not worthy of this. You are a fraud. You're a phony. I have to look back and be like, all these people believe in me. I can believe in myself too. Again, it's all rooted again. These are all acts of kindness, all acts of love. So yeah. Now enjoy some gospel according to Tony winner, Jay Harrison G, for people who are met with unkindness from others.

[7:16] J. Harrison Ghee: So this, I mean, this basically goes into like my gospels according to Jay or whatever. Someone doesn't understand you. Have they asked you questions? Have they taken the time to get to know you? Honey, don't waste your time on their ignorance. Live in the truth and the authenticity of who you are and shine on them hoes. And honey, that's the gospel according to Jay. That was amazing. Oh my goodness. Okay. I got another one. This is exciting. For people who might not feel seen, free yourself to see yourself, give yourself the space and the permission to be all of who you are and a little room to play on the side. Cause that's you boo.

[8:00] J. Harrison Ghee: Have you said these before that one? I live by that free, but free yourself to see yourself. Yes. I literally was saying yesterday I was in a rehearsal for, um, uh, another situation, another gala I'm doing. And, um, somebody complimented my leather pants and they were like, I could never do that. And people say that often with things I wear or like they see me and they're like, oh, that looks great. I can never do it. And it came to me one day and I was like, oh no, cause you haven't freed yourself to see yourself. You haven't given yourself the permission to be or to play. And again, it's like how I get dressed every day. I go to my closet and I was like, okay, what do I feel? And oftentimes I will look at myself in the mirror and be like, oh, you are doing the most today. Or this is very, and then I'm like, okay, great. Get everybody else's voice out of your head because you're already creating a narrative of how people are perceiving you. How do you perceive you?

[9:06] J. Harrison Ghee: Yeah. For people scared to follow a dream, what would the gospel be there? If it doesn't scare you, then it's not for you. And it's, that is a hard truth mirror to face, but quite often those things that make us feel most

[9:19] Liz Tigelaar: Executive Producer & Television Showrunner who you might know from shows like Little Fires Everywhere, Liz Tigelaar touches on not having all the answers, but instead relishing in the joy of having questions and being curious. Don't rush to answer the questions. Living in the questions and having questions are great. I think about, I said this one day, I was taking my son to preschool and I saw these two girls, probably in their early 20s, mid 20s, jogging in sports bras at the beach. I was like, oh, I remember when I used to jog in just a sports bra at the beach. Anyway, so I was looking at them and I was just imagining exactly what they were talking about. And I figured that they were probably like, who likes them?

And are they going to get, and like, they're in another wedding, but when are they going to get and like, you know, the conversations that like women in their 20s have. And I wanted to like roll down my window and be like, first of all, don't worry about these answers. Like you are going to live into all these answers, like whatever you want, you are going to get. And it is so fun to have questions. Like I was, I was, you know, I'm like driving and I'm like a mom in my 40s is married. And I'm like, it's great. It's what I aspired to. It's what I wanted. But like, there aren't always a lot of questions. Like, I'm like, Oh, this is what I did with my life. This is my career. This is my spouse. This is my child. This is where we live. Like full of the questions that I used to ask in my 20s and so want the answers to. So I just want to throw up in my window and be like, enjoy the questions.

[11:33] T. Oliver Reid: Now let's listen to Broadway star and activist T. Oliver Reed's tangible tip on the importance of owning your emotions. There's a lack of mental health awareness and things that are going on in the world in the classroom. And so I was wondering for you, if there are certain things you teach your students mindset wise, whether it's how to get out of their own heads, which is kind of a funny statement because you're always going to be in your head, but you know what, how to get out of your own way and be kinder to yourself. Do you have any advice for that? We have a lot of performers that listen to the podcast. So anything you could kind of drop would be helpful. I mean, the biggest thing for me is owning the emotion that you're in at the time that you're in it.

So that as we get soaked, we numb ourselves so many times to the, how are you doing? Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. And for me, I tell them always like, don't live in that place so that you and your body and your emotions understand when you are fine, when you're having a great day, when you're having a horrible day and why that day is horrible. So that you can focus in and say, this is this emotion. This is where I am right now in this moment. And I'm going to live in this moment and then I'm going to get out of this moment. But if everything is fine, you numb yourself and you don't know what's a good day and a bad day, and then you find yourself one, trying to find those emotions on stage and two, not understanding why your body and your emotions are pulling you in a place that feels like it's depression or feel like you're having a down day.

It is about being able to own where you are when you're there. So I can say, I'm sad today, but I won't necessarily be sad tomorrow. Tomorrow is a brand new day, new experiences, or when you have one of those days where you've gotten 16 no's or no responses at all. And you're wondering if that is reflection of your talent. It's like, no, that's just the day. There are 10 people who are having their own days. And yes, it is compiled on you to feel like there are 10 no's or 10 nothings, but that's just 10 other people trying to make it through their day. So for me, it really is just owning where you are when you're there. And I asked them, truthfully, every class is like, how are you doing today?

And sometimes their students are like, I'm really having a bad day. It's like, do you need to be outside more than you need to be in this class right now? If you need to go take a walk for 15 minutes and then come back, I'm totally fine with that. If you need to go and have this time by yourself instead of being in this class, I understand that. And I'd rather you take care of yourself now than have it build up and become something much larger later.

[14:10] Claybourne Elder: Time to hear from my friend, Claiborne Elder, Broadway star and just all around kind soul. You know, I think the through line I see is that there is no through line. I think that that sort of would imply that there's like a way, a thing that makes you successful or something almost, which is, you know, I always say that success is the cross section of talent and luck. Because we all know some really talented people who just haven't been lucky, who just haven't had the day in which the show that needed them was there. Way more talented people than me. So much more talented. I've been very lucky in that I was the right person for that thing. And that got me in that door. I think that the most talented people to me or the most successful in the way that I would view success are the people that are buoyant, that bounce back from defeat.

Because I know so many people who have just been beaten down by defeat. And that is OK, too, because it's not for everybody to do this sort of thing. And we face a lot of rejection that feels very personal on a daily basis. But it's the people that can bounce back from that that I find are the ones that end up making it because they just keep going. Yeah. And it has something to do with believing in yourself and it has something to do with never letting yourself get jaded by it, kind of. And I would say that's where kindness would come in, is that even when you have been turned down and turned down and told you were too much this or too little of that, to be able to walk in a room again with those people with some sort of an open heart and try again. That's kindness. That is kindness to those people. And it's hard. I mean, I say it like I do it all the time. I don't. But it's what I strive for, for sure.

[16:22] Kalen Allen: I had such a great time talking with Kaylin Allen, and I hope you'll listen to the full episode as well as all the full episodes of the clips we played here today. But for now, please enjoy this little moment in the sunshine with Kaylin. I would love to know maybe specific ways, if you don't mind sharing, how you practice self-care and show yourself love. Well, I get a monthly massage. I get a monthly manicure and pedicure. He's getting it right now. No, he's not. No, I do things that allow me to disconnect, that allow me to step back and be like, OK, I need to take a break, you know. I'm definitely doing things that are just purely for my own benefit and my own health and well-being, you know, especially when it's like meditating or binge watching my favorite show or going to Disneyland.

That's my kind of meditation. Exactly. Like doing stuff like that, that kind of also reminds me of my childhood that takes me back to a place of innocence when nothing else mattered and living in that present moment of that. Isn't that crazy? I'm constantly trying to go back to that feeling of when I was a kid. And I feel like my brain's probably never left there, you know, in a different way. I mean, candy and all this stuff. But I just want to get back to that time where you did not care about the business end of things like we were saying before. You just wanted to be creative and enjoy the moment. It wasn't even a thought. You didn't even really know you were being creative. You were just playing and enjoying.

[17:48] Kalen Allen: Just having fun. Yeah. So I'm glad you're getting back there with all these different gigs. Do you have any advice for balancing them and your self-care? Like, are you approaching that differently after this reset? Yeah, I think also what I had to realize that I was pouring into a lot of other people and not really pouring the same effort into myself. I think we sometimes take care of other people more than we take care of ourselves. So I had to reposition my thinking of that and realizing that I needed to take care of myself and taking care of myself was not a selfish act, you know, because in order to be able to love the best, I have to be able to feel the best, you know, and working and operating within that mindset has really brought a lot of clarity.