This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:06] Bret Shuford: Hi, I'm Brad, and I'm Steven, and we are The Broadway Husbands.

[0:11] Stephen Hanna: We are an all-American married couple making their living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:16] Bret Shuford: On the Broadway Husbands podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:22] Stephen Hanna: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:25] Bret Shuford: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:29] Stephen Hanna: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever platform you listen to us on.

[0:34] Bret Shuford: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands.

[0:38] Stephen Hanna: We are proud members of the Broadway Podcast Network.

[0:42] Bret Shuford: Make sure you check out BroadwayPodcastNetwork.com backslash husbands to see all the amazing things they're doing for our community at this time.

[0:50] Stephen Hanna: And who have who are guests today?

[0:53] Bret Shuford: Well, a very dear friend of mine from Wicked, Alexandra Billings and her wife Chrisanne Blankenship.

[0:59] Stephen Hanna: Yay! Welcome to the show.

[1:01] Alexandra Billings: Hi kids.

[1:03] Chrisanne Blankenship: How's every little thing?

[1:04] Alexandra Billings: Hello.

[1:06] Chrisanne Blankenship: Hello.

[1:07] Alexandra Billings: Hello.

[1:08] Chrisanne Blankenship: How are you both?

[1:09] Bret Shuford: Well, actually.

[1:12] Stephen Hanna: Tell the tell our audience if they don't know who you are, if they've been living under a rock, um, who who are you uh both individually, and we'll talk a little bit about how you met and who you who you are together as a couple.

[1:25] Alexandra Billings: Who are we?

[1:27] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, she is an award-winning actress.

[1:31] Alexandra Billings: Are we gonna talk about each other?

[1:32] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yes, I love it.

[1:33] Alexandra Billings: Who's been uh theater for the past X amount of years, many, many years.

[1:41] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh, and has also been uh uh a uh co-star featured performer, whatever in TV shows.

[1:51] Alexandra Billings: Uh most recently Disney's uh uh uh uh Diary of a Female President I know it's going so great.

[2:01] Chrisanne Blankenship: She probably also know her from Transparent uh or um Goliath, and uh she's been in um theaters across the country, most notably in uh Steppenwolf in Chicago, and most recently as the um uh uh witch, not which Madame Morrible, a witch, uh in um what's it called?

[2:34] Alexandra Billings: Wicked.

[2:34] Chrisanne Blankenship: Wicked in Wicked, and uh the musical Wicked that's on Broadway.

[2:42] Alexandra Billings: And um she's my wife and my my um my longtime friend and uh just we've known each other for centuries and love beautiful, beautiful.

[3:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well said.

[3:02] Alexandra Billings: That's the greatest introduction I think I've ever gotten in my life.

[3:07] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um I'm just Chrissy.

[3:09] Alexandra Billings: No, no, you well, you never uh you never tell people your whole bio.

[3:14] Chrisanne Blankenship: So this is actually I'm glad that you did this.

[3:16] Alexandra Billings: My wife is a um celebrated and critically acclaimed director from Chicago, Illinois, where she was a the one of the first, in fact, I think the first female managing director of a major non-equity theater uh in Chicago.

[3:32] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh, she also uh was a managing director and artistic director of Push Studios, also in Chicago for a few years.

[3:38] Alexandra Billings: She started two of her own theatrical companies, one of which I think is still running, Borealis might still be running, that might be true.

[3:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um, she's a producer.

[3:48] Alexandra Billings: She and I have both written an original musical called Dracula the Musical.

[3:56] Chrisanne Blankenship: Oh, yeah, that's right.

[3:57] Alexandra Billings: It's a call.

[3:57] Chrisanne Blankenship: We wrote it.

[3:59] Alexandra Billings: And uh she wrote the lyrics and I wrote the music.

[4:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: And duh and the and the book, we both wrote the book, really.

[4:06] Alexandra Billings: Oh, didn't I?

[4:08] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh I don't remember.

[4:09] Alexandra Billings: And uh we met in 1976 at Schaumburg High School in our drama club.

[4:18] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um, and we were married in 1996.

[4:22] Alexandra Billings: Is that right?

[4:23] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah.

[4:25] Alexandra Billings: And uh she is uh my spouse and my protector and my safe place to land.

[4:35] Chrisanne Blankenship: And she was the one that got me out of New York City when I was in Wicked when the zombie apocalypse hit and everybody was caught.

[4:41] Alexandra Billings: And my wife called and said, You're getting on a plane.

[4:44] Chrisanne Blankenship: I went, honey, I can't have a contract.

[4:46] Alexandra Billings: And a Broadway show, get on a plane.

[4:47] Chrisanne Blankenship: I said, No, listen, nothing's gonna, everything's fine.

[4:51] Alexandra Billings: It's gonna be up.

[4:52] Chrisanne Blankenship: She said, if you don't, and when that tone happens, then I just do it.

[4:56] Alexandra Billings: And literally, I got this is true.

[4:58] Chrisanne Blankenship: I got here to California, and 48 hours later, every single road, airplane, road, bus, uh, train out of New York City was canceled, and everyone was trapped except me, because I married up.

[5:21] Alexandra Billings: What a good bio.

[5:22] Chrisanne Blankenship: I have a I like that one.

[5:24] Alexandra Billings: Okay.

[5:25] Chrisanne Blankenship: So you were in high school, but that's back at Schaumburg High School.

[5:29] Alexandra Billings: So tell us about who had eyes for who first and what was your relationship then?

[5:35] Chrisanne Blankenship: Like, you know.

[5:38] Alexandra Billings: Well, we actually played brother and sister in uh a Shakespeare play, uh 12th Night.

[5:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um and uh Alex uh at that point taught me the fine art of of imp not improvisation but impersonation, fine art of impersonation, because we were twins, we had to play twins, so we we developed uh similar um um gestures and and the way we talked, etc.

[6:08] Alexandra Billings: etc.

[6:09] Chrisanne Blankenship: So we started out as uh very very close, you know, uh not just friends, but we used we used to go around um to different parts of the city and and order drinks and um tell people that we were brother and si that we were brother and sister or sister and sister after a while.

[6:36] Alexandra Billings: So um so yeah, so we we've been quite we recognized each other I think very shortly after you know we met.

[6:47] Chrisanne Blankenship: And uh so we've always been yes, that was good.

[6:53] Alexandra Billings: It was very good.

[6:54] Chrisanne Blankenship: Okay, nice work.

[6:55] Alexandra Billings: You're you're always in cahoots is what it's always like.

[6:58] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yes.

[6:59] Alexandra Billings: Yeah, we do we do tend to go on the same uh track.

[7:06] Chrisanne Blankenship: We're not always though at the same speed or the same station or the same station, but but we are definitely on the same track on the same track.

[7:16] Alexandra Billings: That's true.

[7:17] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah.

[7:18] Alexandra Billings: That's a great analogy.

[7:20] Chrisanne Blankenship: I love that.

[7:20] Alexandra Billings: I love that.

[7:21] Chrisanne Blankenship: I love that.

[7:22] Alexandra Billings: That's actually really true.

[7:25] Chrisanne Blankenship: Okay, I'm gonna stop talking now and drink my coffee because I I need to have more fun.

[7:32] Alexandra Billings: Can you can people see us?

[7:34] Chrisanne Blankenship: Please tell you.

[7:34] Alexandra Billings: No, it'll just be um.

[7:37] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, it'll just be voice.

[7:39] Alexandra Billings: I would have dressed differently.

[7:42] Chrisanne Blankenship: No, she would not have.

[7:44] Alexandra Billings: That's a lie.

[7:45] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, I would have put on my you wouldn't have put on you wouldn't.

[7:52] Alexandra Billings: Press on.

[7:53] Chrisanne Blankenship: Wait, so who's so then who on that path said I love you first?

[7:58] Alexandra Billings: Do you remember?

[8:00] Chrisanne Blankenship: Remember.

[8:01] Alexandra Billings: Do you remember?

[8:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, I asked you to marry me first.

[8:03] Alexandra Billings: Oh, yes, but that's a different statement.

[8:05] Chrisanne Blankenship: Who said I love you first?

[8:07] Alexandra Billings: Oh well, no, actually.

[8:10] Chrisanne Blankenship: Oh no, no, no, no.

[8:11] Alexandra Billings: You just recently discovered.

[8:13] Chrisanne Blankenship: I think Alex said it first.

[8:15] Alexandra Billings: Um recently we discovered behind because I tend to take talismans especially written statements of things and put them behind photographs because I think that our niece and nephews and our cousins when we pass are gonna find these things and go, oh, this is so sweet.

[8:34] Chrisanne Blankenship: So one of the things was a note that um Alex wrote to me for a Christmas gift.

[8:40] Alexandra Billings: Oh yeah, and uh which we just like I say, which we just recently found one of those things.

[8:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: And it it basically said, I love you.

[8:48] Alexandra Billings: It said, uh, we've been together for centuries, and um you have my heart, and I will never leave you, which she shortly thereafter did.

[8:58] Chrisanne Blankenship: And uh it was this story, it was fabulous, it was great at the time.

[9:06] Alexandra Billings: I mean it was very I love that you constantly make talismans for us when we're dead, like that's what you think.

[9:14] Chrisanne Blankenship: Let's let's save this because this isn't when we die.

[9:18] Alexandra Billings: People are gonna want to know that this thing existed in our lives.

[9:23] Chrisanne Blankenship: I'm like, can we have things now?

[9:25] Alexandra Billings: Can't we have nice things?

[9:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Oh, really?

[9:29] Alexandra Billings: Can't we have things?

[9:30] Chrisanne Blankenship: We do have nice things.

[9:34] Alexandra Billings: You show me some of your talisman.

[9:36] Chrisanne Blankenship: I like that one you got at Disneyland.

[9:38] Alexandra Billings: Oh yeah, the uh the masks, the masks, yeah.

[9:43] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh yeah, we that was a good one.

[9:45] Alexandra Billings: And let me tell you something.

[9:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: There was nothing else like it in that shop.

[9:49] Alexandra Billings: Yeah, all of the rest of the were typical masks, and this was this was unique in a in a variety of ways, but um certainly you know the the form was incredibly yeah uh unique.

[10:03] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, yeah.

[10:04] Alexandra Billings: I love that.

[10:06] Chrisanne Blankenship: I mean, not for so who so then you said you proposed.

[10:11] Alexandra Billings: Tell us about the proposed.

[10:13] Chrisanne Blankenship: I propose tell us about that.

[10:16] Alexandra Billings: What was that?

[10:16] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, honey, tell us about that.

[10:18] Alexandra Billings: Yeah, let's hear it.

[10:19] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, let's hear it.

[10:21] Alexandra Billings: Yeah, that's well, tell him about that.

[10:23] Chrisanne Blankenship: Tell him, tell him.

[10:24] Alexandra Billings: It's it's an embarrassing story, embarrassing for her.

[10:30] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, well, tell him it it's okay.

[10:36] Alexandra Billings: What can you imagine?

[10:39] Chrisanne Blankenship: This is what it's like to be married to me.

[10:41] Alexandra Billings: I don't care.

[10:43] Chrisanne Blankenship: So my story is embarrassing.

[10:45] Alexandra Billings: I think it's much more romantic the way Alex asked me to marry her.

[10:51] Chrisanne Blankenship: So you should tell me.

[10:52] Alexandra Billings: Is that the story you're gonna tell?

[10:54] Chrisanne Blankenship: No, that's true.

[10:55] Alexandra Billings: I have to tell the way you propose, yes.

[11:01] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, I proposed after beautiful.

[11:05] Alexandra Billings: I I mean we had a fight.

[11:07] Chrisanne Blankenship: We did.

[11:08] Alexandra Billings: Oh god, yeah.

[11:09] Chrisanne Blankenship: You know, all pre-married couples have a fight.

[11:11] Alexandra Billings: We did, yes.

[11:17] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, now I don't remember.

[11:18] Alexandra Billings: Oh my god.

[11:18] Chrisanne Blankenship: I don't remember what we thought about, but then she took me out very sweetly.

[11:23] Chrisanne Blankenship: And well, we went to one of our favorite um our favorite restaurants, yeah, period, which was called King Crab.

[11:30] Chrisanne Blankenship: I don't know if that's still there, it's in Chicago.

[11:33] Chrisanne Blankenship: And uh and I proposed to her over dinner, and we ordered our favorite meal.

[11:38] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, she ordered her favorite meal.

[11:40] Chrisanne Blankenship: I ordered my favorite meal because I don't like seafood, but I like fried kind of people.

[11:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: They fry stuff.

[11:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: I did tell them put it in the fryer.

[11:48] Chrisanne Blankenship: So we did that, and then I proposed, and I think I give you flowers.

[11:54] Alexandra Billings: Yes.

[11:54] Chrisanne Blankenship: Probably, probably.

[11:56] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, but it was just a it was a dinner, and I asked her to marry me, and she said that.

[12:00] Alexandra Billings: It was beautiful, it was lovely.

[12:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: It was great.

[12:03] Alexandra Billings: Tell them how you proposed.

[12:05] Chrisanne Blankenship: Listen, if we ever do a uh uh uh a bio Why don't you want to tell them because I don't want to uh if we ever do a biographical um you know documentary on me, then I'll I'll tell people this oh dear without without going into my story to tell.

[12:25] Alexandra Billings: Without going into detail detail, okay.

[12:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: We were in an intimate situation and she proposed to me okay there we go that's it okay and it was a quick yes and you said yes it was a very quick yes literally she asked me and the way she asked me was hilarious because she didn't really ask me she said I don't know if you remember this I did she said what would you say if and I was like that's my proposal no she is not remembering correctly that's exactly I said I didn't ask what she said I said marry me I didn't even ask her I just demanded I love what you remember yeah marry me and she said yes and how do you remember it Alexandra she said what would you say if she was so frightened she did not think I was gonna say yes but you told me that in the moment I definitely was not fright that was not or no you were not scared you were scared that I was gonna say no I like I say in the moment it was not there that was not the emotion that was coursing through me okay there we are so then you got married tell us about the wedding.

[12:28] Alexandra Billings: Oh, the wedding, the wedding was beautiful.

[12:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yes, yes, it was. It was probably...

[12:28] Alexandra Billings: It was the...

[12:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: She doesn't remember it.

[12:28] Alexandra Billings: Um, but it was... do you? We have a video of it.

[12:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Do you remember?

[12:28] Alexandra Billings: I know she has no idea.

[12:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Not a clue.

[12:28] Alexandra Billings: No, you don't have a memory thing. That's untrue.

[14:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: So the day was amazing, and we had a hundred about a hundred, and remember, this was a very long time ago.

[14:07] Chrisanne Blankenship: This was 20, almost 23 years ago.

[14:10] Alexandra Billings: 24 years ago.

[14:12] Chrisanne Blankenship: So this was a time when it was illegal, when gay marriage was illegal.

[14:17] Chrisanne Blankenship: We were married in Chicago at a theater, uh, in a theater called the Bailiwick Theater, and everyone that we invited, and we invited about 150 people.

[14:27] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um assumed it was a performance.

[14:29] Chrisanne Blankenship: They didn't think we were actually getting married because no one was getting married.

[14:34] Alexandra Billings: It just that was insane.

[14:36] Chrisanne Blankenship: So people came and thought this, and were like coming backstage and wishing me like break a leg, like break a leg.

[14:44] Alexandra Billings: And I'm like, in my marriage.

[14:46] Chrisanne Blankenship: I don't know what you're telling them.

[14:49] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh but the ceremony itself was amazing.

[14:52] Chrisanne Blankenship: We had two reverends, a male and a female that married us both.

[14:56] Alexandra Billings: Both good friends of ours, good friends and both actors.

[14:59] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah, both actors.

[15:00] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um, I you had six best men, is that right?

[15:05] Alexandra Billings: And one bridesmaid, not six, I think it was more like four, and one bridesman.

[15:10] Chrisanne Blankenship: I had my maid of honor, mate, matron of honor, and four four, yeah, four groomsmen.

[15:17] Alexandra Billings: That's pretty big.

[15:18] Chrisanne Blankenship: That's big.

[15:19] Chrisanne Blankenship: It it was a bit, it was.

[15:21] Alexandra Billings: We didn't mess around, and you had a I had all bridesmaids except one groomsman, right?

[15:27] Chrisanne Blankenship: Michael, that's correct, yeah.

[15:29] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh and singers, and singers.

[15:32] Chrisanne Blankenship: We had a half a dozen singers, yeah.

[15:34] Chrisanne Blankenship: And the ceremony itself was really done by Chris Ann, and she she wove in um a lot of different cultures.

[15:44] Chrisanne Blankenship: We had the Native American, we had a little uh Jewish uh ceremony partly.

[15:50] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh we had a spiritual moment, we had a little, I don't know about Christianity, but we had a lot of different she she that was really her job, and my job was the music.

[16:01] Alexandra Billings: Hooray.

[16:01] Chrisanne Blankenship: So literally it was a giant musical because every five minutes somebody would stand up and sing something from show boat, so it was a giant musical.

[16:10] Chrisanne Blankenship: My parents, my mother boycotted our wedding and said, I'm not coming because I don't know what you're doing, and it's upsetting.

[16:17] Chrisanne Blankenship: And my father pretended he was sick, so my parents were not there, which was very disheartening to me.

[16:26] Alexandra Billings: Um Chris Ann's parents, however, were both there, as well as her brother.

[16:32] Chrisanne Blankenship: Who was my who was one of my groom's right groom's so we had parents there, and uh they sort of represented both sides.

[16:44] Chrisanne Blankenship: Now, I also had my good friend Chili Pepper, who sort of stood in for my mother.

[16:51] Chrisanne Blankenship: She's a performer at the um Baton, where I performed for five years, and uh I had my best friend Kelly there, and my best friend Honey West sang, and um and Michael, it was beautiful, and there was one moment with that Chrisanne had designed where she was where we were supposed to get this big loaf, bunches of loaves of bread to hand out to the entire audience, and everybody was gonna take a little thing and you ate and you passed it along, and we were all gonna be family.

[17:24] Alexandra Billings: And that was the only thing I was responsible for in the world.

[17:27] Chrisanne Blankenship: She had one job, one job, one job.

[17:31] Chrisanne Blankenship: And I said to everyone, which I always say at the beginning of every show, something's going to go wrong.

[17:39] Chrisanne Blankenship: Something terrible is going to happen.

[17:41] Chrisanne Blankenship: Everybody needs to know it.

[17:42] Chrisanne Blankenship: Once the terrible thing happens, then we can all relax and enjoy the rest of the blah blah.

[17:48] Chrisanne Blankenship: I say that in every class, I say that in every every situation I say that in.

[17:52] Chrisanne Blankenship: We just did this gay live parade thing, and I said that.

[17:55] Chrisanne Blankenship: I said something horrible's going to happen.

[17:57] Alexandra Billings: And it did, and everything was fine.

[17:59] Chrisanne Blankenship: So we're sitting in this big beautiful Shay's lounge while all kinds of fabulous accoutrement is falling and happening around us.

[18:09] Chrisanne Blankenship: And all of a sudden, one of the reverends says, And now we'd like to break bread with our and Chris Ann does this to me only.

[18:23] Alexandra Billings: And I go under my breath.

[18:26] Alexandra Billings: You forgot the frickin' bread, didn't you?

[18:31] Chrisanne Blankenship: She nods, all of a sudden, one of our friends, Andrew, who's up in the sound booth running the lights.

[18:37] Chrisanne Blankenship: Sorry, honey, who's up in the sound booth running the lights, he gets word somehow.

[18:42] Chrisanne Blankenship: Oh, we tell him we don't have any bread.

[18:44] Chrisanne Blankenship: So he leaves the theater.

[18:45] Chrisanne Blankenship: He runs across the street to a bagel shop and gets because it was the only place it was open, I think it was a Sunday, and we're all sort of sitting, we're vamping till ready, and he's running, he gets like, I don't know, six bagels.

[18:57] Alexandra Billings: Oh, eight bagels.

[18:58] Chrisanne Blankenship: A bagel for 150 people.

[19:02] Alexandra Billings: Right.

[19:02] Chrisanne Blankenship: And just and kind of like shoves it in our face, and we take a little and we give it to the 150.

[19:07] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, well, we gave it to the to the parents, we gave it to our parents until like the first we gave it to uh Chili, I hope, and uh, you know, gave it to the front row.

[19:16] Alexandra Billings: Right.

[19:17] Chrisanne Blankenship: However, long it lasts.

[19:18] Chrisanne Blankenship: But the wedding itself was beautiful, and we got married, and that was my wedding.

[19:22] Chrisanne Blankenship: Even when we got married again for legal sake, that was my marriage.

[19:26] Alexandra Billings: I was already married.

[19:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Right.

[19:29] Alexandra Billings: Right.

[19:30] Chrisanne Blankenship: Wow.

[19:30] Alexandra Billings: That's so fun.

[19:31] Chrisanne Blankenship: Congratulations.

[19:33] Alexandra Billings: Thanks.

[19:35] Chrisanne Blankenship: No.

[19:36] Alexandra Billings: So you want to ask this question?

[19:39] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yeah.

[19:39] Alexandra Billings: You know, I Alexandra, I think that you are so inspiring.

[19:45] Chrisanne Blankenship: Um, I've only met you, I think this is like my second time really like talking to you.

[19:50] Alexandra Billings: Um, but just everything that I know about you and hear about you is like just super inspiring.

[19:57] Chrisanne Blankenship: So I I think I I want to know, like, what um, like how how in your life have you found hope and belief when life feels hopeless?

[20:13] Chrisanne Blankenship: Like, what is like maybe one saying that's gotten you to get up on your feet and get going, or like a prayer.

[20:24] Alexandra Billings: Yes, uh, yes, yeah, I love what you're asking, and uh thank you for what you said.

[20:29] Alexandra Billings: I appreciate that.

[20:31] Alexandra Billings: Um the answer to your question is in your question, because I don't ever feel hopeless, ever.

[20:43] Alexandra Billings: It doesn't matter what's going on around me or to me, I don't ever feel hopeless.

[20:50] Alexandra Billings: Now, when I was diagnosed with AIDS back in a time when everyone was dying, what I lost was not my hope, what I lost was my faith.

[21:01] Alexandra Billings: Um, because I didn't believe I had any foundation underneath me because that's what that's what I saw because I buried all of my friends in the early 80s, and that's what the scientists and doctors told me, you're going to die in a matter of minutes.

[21:17] Alexandra Billings: And so I really um crawled up inside myself.

[21:22] Alexandra Billings: And as I said before, I married up, and Chris Ann stood around for I think a couple of days and allowed me to feel very sorry for myself, which I think I was allowed to.

[21:34] Alexandra Billings: And then came in to the bedroom and said, okay, look, here's the thing.

[21:39] Alexandra Billings: If you're gonna curl up into a little ball and die, that's your choice, but I'm not gonna stand here and watch you do it.

[21:48] Alexandra Billings: And although that didn't restore my faith, that took work.

[21:52] Alexandra Billings: Faith takes work, um, just like kindness takes work, it's an active um study and practice, it's not something that anybody can be nice.

[22:03] Alexandra Billings: Uh uh cats and dogs are nice, but it takes it you have to activate kindness.

[22:10] Alexandra Billings: Hope never leaves.

[22:12] Alexandra Billings: So when she said that to me, what it was was a reminder.

[22:16] Alexandra Billings: Because what she said was, look, you can absolutely pay attention to your sorrow and your sadness, or you can pay attention to well uh health and wellness.

[22:28] Alexandra Billings: So it's really just about where your attention is.

[22:30] Alexandra Billings: So I turned my attention away from my temporary loss of faith, and I turned it towards hope.

[22:38] Alexandra Billings: What you're asking is, you know, uh and I get it, but what you're asking for is a panacea. You're asking for a lucky charm, really. There is nothing that I do that keeps me going. Look, we're in the middle of a giant viral pandemic. And right, a second one that we've gone through, our generation. And also another massive spiritual revolution, global. This isn't just like in this city. This is global. So the world itself is birthing a newness. There's no such thing as a thing that's gonna get us through it. That's not gonna happen. Everybody's pain and loss is different. So I can't give you a thing. The only thing I can tell you is for me, it all depends on what I pay attention to. I pay attention to my loss, then my loss takes up space, which is fine. If I pay attention to my sadness, then my sadness takes up space. But if I pay attention to my hope, my rage, and my faith, I'm in good hands.

[23:54] Bret Shuford: Wow. Love it. What would you say to that person now? If you were in the room with the person who you're with Chrisanne and you're looking at who you were at that time who had lost their faith, what would you say to them to get them through that?

[24:15] Alexandra Billings: Um I think I might say kind of the same thing that Chris said to me. Really, you can do whatever you need to do, but I'm not gonna stand here and watch you waste away. I'm gonna go over here until you're done. But I can't look at it. But you can do whatever you need to do. Look, I tell people this on social media all the time. I just spoke to a very, very dear friend of mine. Um, she's a white lady of a certain age. And she said to me, Alex, I'm a trans person of color. So she said to me, Alex, I have no idea what to say. Like I literally don't know. I don't know how to be anymore. These are her exact words. I don't know how to be. If I say something, it's wrong. If I don't say something, it's wrong.

If I march, it's wrong. If I don't march, it's wrong. If I say I'm going to march it, but she goes, I don't know how to be as a white person in this country. I don't know how to be. And I said, Shannon, that's exactly what we want to hear. That's it. That's the golden ticket, my friend. Because that is how the marginalized has felt. That's how I felt my whole life on the outside of every single party. Every single party, let me just say, including Black Lives Matter. I'm not in that party. I'm not invited to that party.

[25:42] Alexandra Billings: So my whole philosophy revolves around saying to other people, look, if you need to say, I'm gonna post videos of Liza Minnelli at Radio City because it's a really great concert, and she's excellent in it. I just watched it, it's really good. Then that's what you need to do. And if you want to post videos of Maya Angelou, and if you want to post videos of Martin Luther King or Malcolm X or Lady Gaga or Lena Horne or yourself or your parents or your African American friends, or whatever you want to post in order to be in the center of your revolution, that's what you should do. That's my advice. Do the things you need to do. Self-care is just as revolutionary as activism.

[26:31] Chrisanne Blankenship: Amen.

[26:32] Alexandra Billings: Yeah. Amen. Why do you think, you know, I know when Wicked announced you were coming into the show and they taught they gave so much, so much, you know, part of the press is always you're you were the first trans actor to step into a role in Wicked, um, or no, you know, visible, like who's who's openly trans. So why is it important to be open about that in when you're announcing, you know, coming into a show or something like that? Why for you is it important to lead with that?

[27:11] Alexandra Billings: Well, again, the answer to your question isn't your question because of what you just said, because I'm not the first trans person in Wicked. Wicked has been going on for how many 16 years now? It's had I'm guessing thousands of actors in it. Uh, and if you can't count the orchestra, hundreds of thousands, probably. I think I'm the first transgender person involved in this show. No, of course not. I'm the first open transgender person. So that's why it's important. Because it's absolutely ridiculous that all of those trans people, and there's some in our cast right now that are still living in stealth because they're filled with shame and terror. So the fact that I'm open and loud and take up space, hopefully, opens those doors because it doesn't make any sense.

It's ridiculous that we live in a time right now where there are people still silent about what they are. And you know, and that's part of what this moment, hopefully, movement, uh is um getting to the point where we no longer ask those questions, you know, that or we no longer have to say first transgender, first black person, first uh um Asian, first, etc. etc. etc. That we no longer have to say or highlight that that and it's not a color blindness. I'm not suggesting colorblindness. What I'm suggesting is um the um the family of humanity that that um whether whether you're like it or not, my southern brethren, we come out of the Rift Valley in Africa, and we have uh one set, or we have a couple of sets of DNA in us, all of us, and uh that uh, you know, that's what people are taking to the streets for, and it basically it's every time people take to the streets is to say it's ridiculous to be marginalized, and I will no longer do it because you the white power hierarchy, you're no different.

You'd like to think you are, but you are not. If I cut my uh uh chest open, uh, or I'm sorry, and and my very dear friend Michael cuts his chest open. Believe me, the color of the blood is gonna be the same. So are the arrangements of the internal organs, so is the weight of the brain. We're it's it's so it's almost it's to me, it's almost like gender as well. It's so ridiculous that you have to find that the that white people myself have to find a way to differentiate ourselves. There is no difference, folks. There's just none, there's no difference. Go listen, the world is being destroyed around us. We by 2035, we're gonna be in a heck of a way with our climate, with the with the destruction that's going on to uh species, to ourselves, we're gonna be in a heck of a way. So enough with the enough with the crap, yeah. Enough with the crap. Let's really focus as a family on our home.

[31:37] Chrisanne Blankenship: Amen.

[31:38] Bret Shuford: Yeah. Well said. This is beautiful. Um what a blessing you both are to our lives this year. Thank you for that.

[31:50] Alexandra Billings: Thank you.

[31:51] Chrisanne Blankenship: Thank you for giving us this platform and inviting us in.

[31:56] Alexandra Billings: Yeah. We appreciate it. So okay, we're gonna change gears a little bit. What when you're I know you both work together on projects. You have a production company.

[32:08] Chrisanne Blankenship: Yes.

[32:10] Alexandra Billings: Incorporated. Shmangey.

[32:12] Chrisanne Blankenship: Shwangi.

[32:14] Alexandra Billings: Shmangi. It's spelled C H M E N G I E. It has a C in it. And it's encompassing. It encompasses. It's an encompassing word.

[32:28] Chrisanne Blankenship: Encompass.

[32:29] Alexandra Billings: We we're all together in it. I love that Shmangi. So what is it like for you to work together on projects?

[32:36] Chrisanne Blankenship: Oh my god, I hate it horrible. Have you ever had your fingernails pulled out? One by one. Or circumcision.

[32:51] Alexandra Billings: It's a lot like circumcision.

[32:53] Chrisanne Blankenship: Well, I wouldn't know.

[32:54] Alexandra Billings: No, you wouldn't.

[32:56] Chrisanne Blankenship: I would not know that.

[32:57] Chrisanne Blankenship: Or I'm not sorry.

[32:58] Alexandra Billings: No, I'm sorry.

[33:00] Alexandra Billings: I'm not sorry. I would not be sorry. It's like the best thing in the world. It's like uh I think um when when it's it can be well, it's like the best thing in the world, it's also like the worst thing in the world. We both have egos.

[33:16] Chrisanne Blankenship: Uh I don't.

[33:18] Alexandra Billings: No. We both have egos pressing on. Um, the lucky thing or or the divine thing, or whatever you want to call it, is that we agree what the need is. We agree that marginalized, otherized communities are the stories that we want to tell. That's what we agree on. Now we don't often agree on timing. Like I want to have things done today.

[33:50] Alexandra Billings: And sometimes Alex wants to say, you know, I'm just gonna sit on that for a while. Tomorrow. So fine. So but we never ever disagree on the stories that we want to do. As you guys both know, trying to get me on this thing took, you know, a year and a half. I mean, I just but this is why I have people in my life, you know. I like me. Like my wife and assistants and managers and people like that, because otherwise, really, I I really I would just watch Liza and Judy pretty much all day, every day. So Billy, can we shout out to you, Billy? Billy, we're shouting out to Bonnie, we're shouting out to Bonnie, Eric. We shout out to these are all people who make sure that I brush my teeth and dress. Oh God bless them.

Oh, God bless them. You have goddess. Yeah, listen, whoever you want to pray to, getting me to, right? Getting me to New York to do the wicked was took a village because I I, you know, I just don't travel. I'm not drip dry. I don't travel well, darling. I need things, and I don't really oh, so it's a lot. So that's where we differ because she's very she's analytical, she's linear, she understands the thing, she can go from A to Z. It makes perfect sense to her. And this is kind of how I teach and how I've lived my life. I'm completely non-linear. Everything that's fantasy and make believe makes perfect sense in reality is stupid. I hate it. And I make up my own rules all the time, no matter even if somebody goes, listen, here's the contract, and I'm like, I have to go now.

So I just fucking leave. So yeah. So that's where we that's where things get mushy and weird. But the great thing is we both realize both of those things are gifts. And so I try really hard to listen and go, all right, what is she saying? And how is this gonna make this project bigger and reach more people? And so I try to do that. And I I don't know whether you guys know the the movie, oh shoot. The cottage, the enchanted cottage. I don't know if you guys, but everybody needs to watch. No, they're but you need to go find it. The enchanted cottage, you're in it, who's in it? Dorothy McGuire and Robert Young. Listen to what I'm saying to you. This movie, first of all, not it's not very well. I'm so glad you brought this up.

It's not very well known. It is a beautiful, romantic fairy tale. The enchanted cottage. Watch it tonight. We will. But that is what I get to come home to then every day, is the enchanted cottage. Uh, so that to me is I mean, it's life-affirming, and it's and it's it's restful, and I get to step away from the reality of what's going on outside, and and uh you know, the job and whatever. So it's a it's a fantastic balance. Nice.

[36:56] Bret Shuford: Somebody said to me today, I was posting some stuff on Instagram, and somebody said, Do you know? Because people love to tell me what to do my whole life. Do you know Alec? Yeah, do you know, Alex? You really should be posting things about things that matter. They're not these silly. You should be posting things that matter politically. And I said, I did. Did you not see the video of Lena Horn? Hilario. Exactly. Exactly. Hilarious. So that's what I mean. Art is a political statement. It is. It's a humanity. It's humanity. It's it's yeah, 100%.

[37:40] Stephen Hanna: Um, all right. We're gonna bring you into a segment that we call spotlight on love. You get to answer that.

[37:47] Alexandra Billings: What?

[37:50] Stephen Hanna: You both have to answer. I'm not giving out advice.

[37:53] Alexandra Billings: You're not giving out advice?

[37:54] Stephen Hanna: You do it all. You say that now, and then you're gonna ask the question, and you're gonna be like, okay, I got something to say. Just ask the question, she'll chime in.

[38:04] Stephen Hanna: So, what we what we do in the segment is uh uh one of our listeners writes in with a question or a situation that they want at completely unqualified advice from us and our guests um on the podcast. And so we had a listener named Jay write in, and he said, I'm gonna read it. Yeah, he says, My current partner is still best friends with their ex. I feel really insecure about their relationship. What can I do to be supportive and feel comfortable at the same time?

[38:39] Chrisanne Blankenship: You want to answer that? That's kind of up your alley. I know you want to that's going that's something's happening in your brain.

[38:45] Alexandra Billings: Sure. What do you want to say? Uh okay. They're best friends. Now I have to go over it again because it's a story. So his current partner is still friends with his ex. And he feels insecure about the relationship. So, like, what can he do to be supportive yet still feel like not jealous and I guess insecure about it? I yeah, I would say exactly. That's what I was gonna say. I they need to have to talk, they have to say it to each other. They have to say, um, and very clearly, I'm jealous of you know Frank. I'm just I don't like it. It makes me feel icky when you see him. Now, I'm not saying don't see him, but I am saying that it feels really weird, and it's something I have to work on. And I would say, you know, because we're talking about trust, right?

Because that jealousy comes from, God, I really sound I like I know what I'm talking about. Oh my lord. Unqualified. This is unqualified. Although we have been through years of therapy. Years. So I have a half by now, but never mind. That's right. You'd think we'd stop going. Uh it I would say, yes. Say it, first of all, say it to each other. Also, I would ask, this is something I would actually ask you. I would say, why do you feel the need to have this person in your life? What gifts are they actually bringing you? And I need to know this first of all, because I'm your spouse, and second of all, because I am feeling weird about it. But if this is something you need, something you desire and want in your life and it fills you up, then yeah, I would say go do it. Just be honest with each other.

[40:31] Chrisanne Blankenship: I don't I think I'd also add that uh inclusive being inclusive, being included in the two of them is probably also very important. That uh that if this truly is a friendship, then let's make it a three-way friendship, you know. Let's let's all get to know one another. Yeah, let's make it a three-way friendship. That's a good idea. Yeah, absolutely. You know, and serious and that kind of actually it's so funny because just recently well, anyway, you know, married couples tend to hang out with other married couples, and then it's or or just couples and they they lose their single friends, and that's one way to get around it is you know, there's three of us in this relationship. It's not just two of us.

Alex is a a wonderful best friend, honey West, and I love honey. I love hanging out with her. She knows I love her, I'm pretty sure she loves me, you know. It so, but I'm not in constant contact with her, but because I know that honey feeds something in Alex. Um, but I'm always included. Um, you know, if I want to be, that's that's not a problem. So I I also think that that's a inclusive major part of it. That's a good thing to get.

[41:57] Alexandra Billings: Well, also it'll actually, I think that's really a good good question, good suggestion too, and that maybe that will make his partner question why like what if I don't want to hang out with him with both of us, then why am I hanging out with them at all? The motives are a little off. Yeah. Self some self-evaluation is probably needed, especially if be I always feel like if there are lovers in your life or friends, and they become estranged from you, and then they come back. My big question is why? Because who what has changed? What is different? What what do they what gifts are they bringing into the relationship? Because when you're married, you you go as a tucsome, period, no matter what happens.

[42:44] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, yeah. I agree. I like the inclusive three-way friendship idea. I think that that's so healthy. I feel like that is like the healthiest answer. Like it's it's awesome advice. Really good. I like that. Good night.

[43:01] Bret Shuford: Okay, fine. We'll get you a cup of coffee. You can't just say thank you.

[43:13] Stephen Hanna: Well, we want to thank you both for being on our podcast. Where can people follow you if you're online, social media? Where's Schmangy at?

[44:21] Alexandra Billings: Let us we well, they can come to our house. I'll give you our address. Um they can find me, because you know, I'm all over the social need. Yeah, you nailed it. I yeah, I'm addicted, as you know, Brett, to the Instagram addicted. Uh so you can find me, I know. So you can find me on the Instagram, the real Alexandra Billings, because apparently there's a lot of Alexandra Billings' is odd. Yeah. Um, so the real Alexandra Billings on Instagram, and then also I am also on Facebook. Uh, I have a professional page because I'm professional. And I also have a personal page because I'm personal. And then Schmengee also has two pages, Schmengey Inc. on Instagram and Schmingy Inc. on Facebook. So I I don't do the Twitter because it's too mean. So I I'm only on Instagram and Facebook.

[44:54] Stephen Hanna: And to all of our listeners, don't forget to love who you love and love what you do.