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[0:00] Leah Walsh: Hi, and welcome to The Compass, the podcast documenting the struggles of life as an artist.

[0:05] Leah Walsh: I'm Leah Walsh.

[0:06] Leah Walsh: My guest today is Lizzie Robinson.

[0:09] Leah Walsh: Lizzie is a fantastic stage manager who I worked with a few years ago on the Food Odyssey.

[0:14] Leah Walsh: That was a site-specific play which culminated with the actors serving the audience a full dinner.

[0:21] Leah Walsh: So, needless to say, it was a feat for stage management.

[0:25] Leah Walsh: And Lizzie was such a positive force in the room for me.

[0:28] Leah Walsh: I really think stage managers are the backbone of a theatrical production.

[0:33] Leah Walsh: They can either make the experience so much easier or so much harder.

[0:37] Leah Walsh: So I have such respect for them, and I'm really glad Lizzie agreed to be on the podcast with me.

[0:43] Leah Walsh: She's going through an exciting time right now, and we decided I should mention in the intro that she's decided to become a single parent and is currently pregnant.

[0:52] Leah Walsh: She's making some big decisions and changes with her priorities right now.

[0:56] Leah Walsh: And we end up talking about this later in the episode, but we thought it was important context for you to know from the top.

[1:02] Leah Walsh: We've just started the Compass Podcast Patreon page.

[1:05] Leah Walsh: And if you find the conversations fostered by the Compass valuable to your life as an artist, please visit patreon.com slash the Compass Podcast, and you can become a patron and be part of the driving force behind the next chapter of the Compass.

[1:20] Leah Walsh: Thank you so much to everyone who's already pledged and who's reached out with their support.

[1:24] Leah Walsh: I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

[1:27] Leah Walsh: And a big thank you to my three Cardinal Point patrons so far, David Cottle, Catherine Stein, and Marcy Walsh.

[1:35] Leah Walsh: Yes, that's my mom.

[1:36] Leah Walsh: Thank you guys so much.

[1:38] Leah Walsh: It takes a village, and I really appreciate everyone coming out of the woodwork.

[1:42] Leah Walsh: Before we start the episode, I just wanted to tell you I saw two amazing things in the last couple weeks.

[1:47] Leah Walsh: Last night, Frankie and I went to see the Peanut Bausch pieces at BAM.

[1:52] Leah Walsh: Absolutely incredible.

[1:54] Leah Walsh: Beautiful.

[1:55] Leah Walsh: We had an old friend in the company, and I was just blown away.

[2:01] Leah Walsh: That's it.

[2:02] Leah Walsh: And then also last week we got invited to go to the premiere of Mother by Darren Aronofsky, which is a very strange movie.

[2:11] Leah Walsh: I can't really say that I recommend it, but good for him for making what he wanted to make.

[2:17] Leah Walsh: What you need to know is that it's a lot about creation and destruction and mother nature.

[2:23] Leah Walsh: And when the film ended and the credits were playing, the lights came up on Radio City Musical, and Patty Smith and her band were on stage and they played four songs.

[2:35] Leah Walsh: And my heart just melted.

[2:37] Leah Walsh: You guys know how much I love her.

[2:40] Leah Walsh: Just Kids is one of the books I read over and over when I need some help getting out of the dark side.

[2:45] Leah Walsh: And so even though we were sitting in the back, it was just beautiful to out of nowhere be in a room with her and to hear her voice.

[2:52] Leah Walsh: It's just fantastic.

[2:54] Leah Walsh: So on that note, with a little bit of surprise hope, I hope you enjoy the 90 second episode of The Compass.

[3:15] Lizzie Robinson: So, how do you try to keep from going to the dark side as an artist?

[3:20] Lizzie Robinson: I think so.

[3:22] Lizzie Robinson: I've been listening to all these podcasts and like trying to think about what that means to me and like what I do.

[3:29] Lizzie Robinson: Like I had a lot of different answers for like what I did, like specific things.

[3:34] Lizzie Robinson: But then I think that generally speaking, I narrowed it down to like having a life and like an identity that isn't about my career as a stage manager.

[3:46] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[3:46] Lizzie Robinson: Uh made all the difference.

[3:48] Lizzie Robinson: Like I I know that there were times in my life when I, you know, was early just starting out.

[3:53] Lizzie Robinson: I didn't really have any friends outside of the show I was working on.

[3:55] Lizzie Robinson: You know, I was in summer stock and that's all I was doing.

[3:59] Lizzie Robinson: And then when nothing is really happening, then I no longer have like anybody to see, anybody to hang out with, or anything to do.

[4:07] Lizzie Robinson: And so like I think that that has made all the difference as I like try to figure out.

[4:14] Lizzie Robinson: As far as what the dark side is for me, I don't I've been trying to figure that out.

[4:21] Lizzie Robinson: Like sometimes it's like being really angry.

[4:26] Lizzie Robinson: But I don't, you know, then I'm like, well am I what am I angry at?

[4:29] Lizzie Robinson: Or like being feel I I think it's feeling powerless for be you know, like just I don't have a lot of say and yeah, you know, a lot of different things.

[4:42] Lizzie Robinson: I did meet someone at a stage manager event a few years ago who she had been a stage manager in theater for a while, and she eventually moved to corporate events, which is like the dream money.

[5:00] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[5:01] Lizzie Robinson: Um, and she was telling me that when she left theater, it was she said it was basically a really bad breakup, and she couldn't even like go see shows for like two years.

[5:13] Lizzie Robinson: Wow.

[5:13] Lizzie Robinson: And yeah, so I think like that seems like to me like the dark side.

[5:17] Lizzie Robinson: Like I could see myself if I don't, you know, if I don't stop things from happening, I could see myself getting to that point when I'm just like so upset about like the industry and everything that I just need to take a clean break for a long time.

[5:31] Lizzie Robinson: And I don't want ever want that to happen because I think theater's very important to me, and I think it's important to obviously all of your listeners, but like society, you know.

[5:40] Lizzie Robinson: I've yeah.

[5:42] Lizzie Robinson: But it it's it's a hard industry to be in, in that you don't have a lot of control necessarily, and that you have to be, you know, basically interviewing for jobs constantly and all of that.

[5:54] Lizzie Robinson: And I'm like the worst at interviews.

[5:59] Lizzie Robinson: I feel like actors probably improve, maybe they don't need to improve even at their like auditions, you know.

[6:08] Lizzie Robinson: Great actors, great audition skills.

[6:11] Lizzie Robinson: I can be a great stage manager, but horrible at interviewing.

[6:15] Lizzie Robinson: I mean, that can be true for actors too.

[6:17] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, you're right.

[6:19] Lizzie Robinson: But I will say this I am pretty sure that any job I've ever gotten was in spite of my interview, not because of.

[6:27] Lizzie Robinson: I'm just really bad at it.

[6:28] Leah Walsh: For a stage manager, are most of the jobs that you get based on recommendation and like word of mouth, or how do you pursue it?

[6:35] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I mean, I think so.

[6:37] Lizzie Robinson: I've definitely gotten some jobs from like postings, especially early in my career.

[6:45] Lizzie Robinson: Um, especially because before I moved to New York, I was working in regional theaters or like and like in the summer I did some summer stock stuff.

[6:53] Lizzie Robinson: And so that was yeah, just like looking at people that needed stuff and like sending in a resume.

[6:58] Lizzie Robinson: But once I moved to New York, yeah, it's I haven't really there's been like a few times when I joined a show where I knew nobody and they've generally been not good experiences.

[7:11] Lizzie Robinson: It works both ways.

[7:12] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[7:13] Lizzie Robinson: So that way they recommend you, and you know because they know your friend.

[7:16] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[7:16] Lizzie Robinson: That that's probably a decent group of people.

[7:18] Lizzie Robinson: Oh, yeah, those are good people.

[7:19] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[7:20] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, totally.

[7:21] Leah Walsh: So how did you go to school for the year?

[7:24] Lizzie Robinson: I have a degree in international business.

[7:27] Lizzie Robinson: Okay.

[7:27] Lizzie Robinson: But my minor was in theater.

[7:30] Lizzie Robinson: So I just kind of there was a point that I had to for my business degree.

[7:36] Lizzie Robinson: I had to complete an internship.

[7:38] Lizzie Robinson: And that was sort of like the deciding factor.

[7:41] Lizzie Robinson: Like, was I gonna get an internship like at an office somewhere, or was I gonna do an internship in theater?

[7:46] Lizzie Robinson: Because the program would accept both.

[7:48] Lizzie Robinson: Oh but like I needed to, and I ended up getting an inter an internship in theater and like sort of the rest is history.

[7:54] Lizzie Robinson: You're like, oh, I guess I am feeling a little bit more.

[7:54] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, even though this is the minor.

[7:59] Leah Walsh: And did you go to college in Utah where you're from?

[8:02] Lizzie Robinson: Yes, I went to Westminster College, which is like a small liberal arts school just in Salt Lake.

[8:07] Lizzie Robinson: Okay.

[8:08] Lizzie Robinson: Um it was a tiny theater program.

[8:11] Lizzie Robinson: So we were sort of involved in like all aspects of the show.

[8:16] Lizzie Robinson: Like, uh, you know, I built the sets, I hung the lights, you know, I ran the sound, focused the lights, you know, all these different things.

[8:25] Lizzie Robinson: And then like for the show that I stage managed on, I, you know, I'd like spend all day building the set and then I'd go to rehearsal and stage manage the show.

[8:33] Leah Walsh: Was it obvious was the stage management thing obvious to you then?

[8:36] Lizzie Robinson: You're like, uh, I'm not really I don't want to hang lights for the rest of my life.

[8:40] Lizzie Robinson: This is the thing.

[8:41] Lizzie Robinson: I don't know that it was because we only had it was a small program, so we only had two shows a year, I think.

[8:51] Lizzie Robinson: One on the main stage.

[8:53] Lizzie Robinson: No, maybe it was two a semester.

[8:54] Lizzie Robinson: One on the main stage and one in the black box.

[8:57] Lizzie Robinson: And so, like my first show that I stage managed, like, because I didn't really know what a stage manager was, you know.

[9:03] Lizzie Robinson: Right.

[9:04] Lizzie Robinson: Like we didn't have stage management classes.

[9:06] Lizzie Robinson: Like they, I was assigned, they were like, you're gonna stage manage this black box show.

[9:09] Lizzie Robinson: And I was like, okay, what does that mean?

[9:11] Lizzie Robinson: Figure it out.

[9:12] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, they like gave me a book and they were like, read this book.

[9:14] Lizzie Robinson: And I was like, okay.

[9:16] Lizzie Robinson: And I like sort of followed the book, and it told me to like write down where people were standing and like send out reports of like things that might have happened that were important, you know, like um, but so it wasn't until my internship that I like saw it was like it was uh an URDA contract, so it was at a school, but they had like five state um equity actors, and the stage manager was equity equity, so I like saw them following equity rules as far as breaks and like why that why they were doing that, and like the way she like ran the room and like how because I I didn't understand how like the stage manager, like sort of sets the tone completely, you know, and I didn't like when I was in college, I just like would show up and sit at a desk and I wouldn't talk to anybody and I would you know like I didn't really take any ownership of that.

[10:08] Lizzie Robinson: Um so as working with her name was Maureen Burns, and she was it was at um Kent State University.

[10:16] Lizzie Robinson: Uh they have they have the a partnership with Port Port House Theater, yeah.

[10:22] Lizzie Robinson: Um and so just watching Maureen and how like she she had gone to school there, so she knew everybody and she like most of the people at there were in the program.

[10:30] Lizzie Robinson: I was like one of these weird outsiders, but it was I was like huge learning experience.

[10:35] Lizzie Robinson: So then I went back to school the next you know, the next fall as a senior, and I was like, I know everything about stage management ever.

[10:42] Lizzie Robinson: You know, this is gonna be amazing.

[10:43] Lizzie Robinson: And then they didn't like I was like, I want to stage manage the mu the main stage musical, and they chose like some you know, my friend that and I was so bummed.

[10:52] Lizzie Robinson: I was like, this is like I want to put all this to use.

[10:55] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, like what is the point of all this?

[10:57] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, um, so I don't know.

[10:59] Lizzie Robinson: There was a yeah, so like I while I was in school, I think uh I learned a lot more about like all the other aspects of theater and not so much about stage management, but I did like there was a point too that I was thinking about going into lighting, but I just didn't feel like I was creative enough.

[11:19] Lizzie Robinson: Like I've still never I still don't think I really am a creative person.

[11:25] Lizzie Robinson: I'm sort of learning from other stage managers who sort of like bat that down, like no, like stage management is artistic, stage management is part of this process, like you know.

[11:35] Leah Walsh: Well, and like you said, like in setting that tone for the room, you really are facilitating the creative process, and I think that's so true.

[11:43] Leah Walsh: Like, if you I always say if you have a good stage manager, it makes the entire process better.

[11:49] Leah Walsh: And if you have a stage manager that just doesn't click with the group, it can make everything harder, right?

[11:55] Lizzie Robinson: Everything harder, yeah.

[11:57] Lizzie Robinson: So it's a it's a key role.

[12:00] Leah Walsh: Are there any particular philosophies?

[12:03] Leah Walsh: I don't know if that's the right word, but um things that you really focus on when you're running a rehearsal room, like the things that you want people to get from you or the the values you want to set, the energy you want to set.

[12:19] Lizzie Robinson: I don't know if any of these words is right.

[12:21] Lizzie Robinson: No, but I don't know either.

[12:22] Lizzie Robinson: I I think that I that sort of might fit into the question of like what kind of stage manager are you?

[12:27] Lizzie Robinson: Which people always ask me in interviews, and I'm like, what does that mean?

[12:30] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I think that's a good thing.

[12:31] Lizzie Robinson: This is basically a long interview, by the way, so we'll see how this goes.

[12:34] Lizzie Robinson: I'm sorry there's no job at the end of it from me.

[12:38] Lizzie Robinson: There could be from someone else.

[12:40] Lizzie Robinson: Uh I'm looking everyone.

[12:42] Lizzie Robinson: Um I think that like, yeah, my I guess my philosophy is I try to make people feel like safe to make choices, you know.

[12:55] Lizzie Robinson: Like I don't I know that a lot of things aren't my responsibility, like obviously that there's a director who's responsible for that, but I d I I want to encourage like a room of like, yeah, I like want I want people to feel safe to make their art without being like I don't know, judged or something.

[13:13] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[13:13] Lizzie Robinson: And also like I do try to make people feel heard. I think that s a lot of stage management is just people and like dealing with people and their personalities, and their a lot of people come to me with like their concerns and stuff. And I don't I don't I obviously I'm not like perfect at it, but I really do try to make people feel like their concerns are valid, and yeah, I will try to address it, and yes, you're an important part of this process, you know.

[13:39] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[13:40] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, you have to be really um political in a way, kind of because you're you are the the go-between between the director and the cast, between cast members, maybe who have a issue with each other.

[13:53] Leah Walsh: Yeah, and it's like so fun.

[13:56] Lizzie Robinson: That's my feeling. I think that's why I r gravitated towards just theater in general, is like I just really love people, you know? Like and I I obviously I love the collaborative nature of theater and being a part of something collaborative is like obviously makes me feel like, you know, I'm needed, I guess.

[14:18] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[14:19] Lizzie Robinson: But um it is just like I've learned like so much about how people what people need and how they r react and respond. And it's it's interesting how much you can learn about people when you're just watching them all day. You know you're seeing so many dynamics and and they don't know, you know, like this one actor, you know, you can tell they're upset because they got a note they didn't like and they sort of rolled their eyes and now they're not talking to everybody else on the break and like stage management is well aware, you know. But some a lot of everybody else is like doing their their jobs so they may not notice that like this actor like needs some extra love, you know.

[15:01] Leah Walsh: It's fun.

[15:03] Lizzie Robinson: Um so how long have you been in New York now?

[15:06] Lizzie Robinson: Coming up on five years in November so so nice.

[15:10] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[15:10] Lizzie Robinson: I didn't come here with a plan. I think like people had like five year plans and I don't know. That's harder in this way of life.

[15:21] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[15:22] Lizzie Robinson: I also never assumed that New York would be like forever. I sort of I got my equity card at a—

[15:27] Leah Walsh: Yeah you were already working in some big theaters before you came here, right?

[15:35] Lizzie Robinson: I was internet stalking you to remind myself and like the pioneer and like some big regional theaters.

[15:40] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah well Pioneer so yeah pioneers in Utah I love it. Um mo all all the work I've done for them has been crew as I like I'll go home in between shows and like while I'm home and I want to make some money I'll give them a call and they're great and they're like yeah you can s run spotlight for us which is also one of the very first things I learned in theater and has been so useful like I can always just be like does anybody need a spot up and like get a job really easily um and it's also really fun it's another it's another uh job of just watching people all the time uh but yeah so I was working in regional after I graduated from college I was working in regional theater so I was at the Cleveland Playhouse for a f a couple years a couple seasons I was there as an intern first and then I went up to a PA and then I went over to Syracuse Stage as a PA for a season and like I really love regional theater if I that I'm pretty sure that's my that's would be my ultimate dream job would be stage managing regional theaters.

[16:41] Leah Walsh: Like stage managing a season yeah or or do you like moving around a lot no I I mean that's sort of why I moved to New York.

[16:49] Lizzie Robinson: I um I then went back to Port House after like four years and I was like you know I've had all this experience I would like to come back as your equity stage manager. That's where I had my very first internship. And they were like yeah so they hired me for their summer season and we did damn Yankees and Sound of music and I got my equity card and then I didn't really have anything lined up.

[17:10] Lizzie Robinson: Oh I sort of it's kind of a long story but I went home to Utah after that and I was just sort of sitting around and I was like what am I what am I supposed to do in Utah with this equity card? Uh so I so I was like I guess I'm going to New York and I didn't I mean I had put off joining equity for a long time.

[17:28] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[17:29] Lizzie Robinson: Like I didn't want I'm not a huge fan of unions. I don't know. I guess that's kind of bad to say because I'm in one now. Um, and obviously since joining, like I've seen some benefits.

[17:40] Leah Walsh: The good sites.

[17:41] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. Side note, equity could do a lot to help stage managers that they're not doing. Um taken. But yeah, so then I so I was like, well, I guess I'm going to New York for a while, if for no other reason than to get experience so that I could find a regional theater job where I could like cut not live in a city and have more steady work job stability and like be able to buy at home, you know, stuff like that. So anyway, here I am. I don't but I didn't really like give myself a time limit, like, well, I'm gonna go to New York and get this experience for this amount of time, and then I'm you know, yeah. It was just like I'll come to New York and see what happens.

[18:17] Leah Walsh: How are you feeling about it now, about the city now?

[18:20] Lizzie Robinson: I really like it. It's the first two years were rough, but like really grew on me. I obviously like the all the different arts, like there's so much to see and do here, which is great. Um there's also so much work here, and it was it was also the first time in my career that I was able to like have a life outside of my job, which is like what kept me from going to the dark side, you know?

[18:50] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[18:50] Lizzie Robinson: Because when I was moving around all the time, like I couldn't I wasn't meeting friends besides the people I was working with, and I wasn't like able to like find new hobbies and new things. So this was the first time that I was like, well, I'm living in the same place, I'm not gonna be leaving in six months. Maybe I should meet some people and like make some friends that don't that don't work in the theater, you know? And it's been that's been really helpful because like, you know, we'll go hang out and we won't talk about theater all night. It doesn't come up. Sometimes it comes up like you know, I'm gonna go see this show, but like yeah it's kind of really nice.

[19:29] Leah Walsh: What are some of the ways that you um try to give your life outside of theater structure or like find those things that you can really feel like you have a solid foundation when you're not working? I know you did that uh you celebrated all of those days a couple of years ago when we that you started that I think when was it during the food odyssey or right it wasn't it was it wasn't it was I can't even listeners I met Lizzie she stage managed the food odyssey which some of my other guests have been involved in and heard me talk about but it was the most insane show for a stage manager and it involved serving dinner to our audience it was also and an immersive show it was crazy.

[20:11] Lizzie Robinson: It was also one of like my favorite shows I've ever worked on every it was a really fun group of people. And every time I go to an interview where someone saw that show we talk about that show for a really long time.

[20:22] Leah Walsh: That makes me happy that people saw it.

[20:26] Lizzie Robinson: I love that and I was like yeah let's talk about this we had to dishes and by we of course you mean mostly you did help I remember that was fun. Um how do I give my life structure okay yes so yeah I did I feel like you give yourself projects but this is just me observing from afar which the National Day thing was definitely a project. So I was feeling like kind of in a emotional slump. Uh huh and I was like well it was so random I was like well this national days are cool. I wonder if there's one for every day. And I sort of like looked it up on Twitter, and I was like, oh, maybe I should follow this on Twitter, and they could, you know, I could see what the national day is every day, and then it's one thing led to another, and I was like, okay, for the month of August, I'm going to celebrate a national day every single day, and it's gonna be great.

[21:15] Lizzie Robinson: And then I got really busy. I like was ASM on an opera, and then I like went to the Cleveland Playhouse to be an ASM for the little foxes for their season. And but I was like, I'm still doing this because I said I would. And so like I started celebrating a national day every day, so it's like National Root Beer Float Day, National Ice Cream Cake Day. Like a lot of people. One of them was like National Aerospace Day.

[21:43] Leah Walsh: Aerospace?

[21:44] Lizzie Robinson: Uh-huh.

[21:44] Leah Walsh: That's like airplanes, right?

[21:46] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. And I was in Cleveland, and so I went to this airplane museum. I have been there. And it was awesome. My brother's an aerospace engineer. And I was like, I don't know that I would have come here if I if it wasn't this national day.

[21:58] Leah Walsh: Were there any that were hard to celebrate? Or you were like, really?

[22:01] Lizzie Robinson: Oh yeah. I don't feel like doing this today. Sometimes I made them up. Like, well, well, the first month I didn't like, I went all out. Every, you know, and then I was like sort of like posting about it on Facebook. Like I take a picture and like write this long post, and people were like kind of getting into it with me, and it was really fun. Uh-huh. And then like on August 15th or something, I posted. You guys, I don't mean to feel I don't mean to be dramatic or anything, but celebrating a national day every day is changing my life. And it absolutely was. Like there was something about celebrating something every day that was totally bringing out bringing me out of my like emotional funk. I don't know if this is too weighty to put on it, but it's a little bit of like a gratitude.

[22:48] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[22:48] Lizzie Robinson: Even if it's something that, you know, totally it wasn't a big deal in your life. It was absolutely like that's like what when people say, like, write be grateful for something every day. Like, yeah, that's what I was doing. Except for a lot of it was like, I bet if I went and counted, I haven't done this yet, and I really should. If I counted how many times how many days the things were like the first time I'd eaten that or the first time I'd tried that, most of them were. It were the first time for me. So I was like, after that month of August, I was like, Well, obviously, I'm gonna keep doing this. And I ended up doing it for like a year and seven months.

[23:21] Leah Walsh: Oh my god.

[23:22] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, it was like it was crazy, but it was so fun. And so then if anybody wanted to get together with me, they'd be like, Hey, you want to get together next Thursday? And I'd be like, Great. Um, so next Thursday is National Cupcake Day. Here are some cupcake places. Would you like to go to anything? You know, like there was always something to do. Like, I never had to like what should we do? Do you want to just like go to a movie or do you want to like walk around? You know, yeah. So it was really great. And yeah, I turned it into a blog just because I was like, this is weird to post on Facebook every day. It was like a lot of posting. And but I eventually this is kind of sad. I eventually had to stop because I was gaining so much weight. Cause it was a lot of food. It's and it's always it's not like national salad day.

[24:02] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[24:03] Lizzie Robinson: It was like the treats. And also I was trying to like not it was also expensive. Yeah. But I was like trying not to buy things, so I started like making things in my home, which was awesome because I couldn't really cook or bake. I made a cheese souffle, which I was I'm very proud. It like came out, it worked and everything. But uh there was out there was one point, like my kitchen had like a devil's food cake and like a thing of cookies because like you have to eat the whole thing, yeah. So I was making like five things a week, and my roommate's like, Well, well I'm not really into chocolate, and I'm like, okay.

[24:38] Leah Walsh: It must have been nice when you were doing shows. Your casts must have liked it.

[24:41] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. My cast did like we I would bring stuff in, or they I would ask them to celebrate with me and a lot of people would get into it. It was really fun. No, but I love that 'cause I it's easy to just get into the grind and like you're working, you're coming home, you're you're not in that this is a great city, but sometimes you get too tired to make the effort to go out and experimentally wasn't employed those entire that entire one year, seven months, you know, and so like the days when I didn't really have anything to do. I'd be like, well Lizzie, you at least need to get out and do like National Hot Dog Day.

[25:15] Lizzie Robinson: Right. And so like I do remember like I got ready and I got on the train and I rode down to Gray's papaya. And took a picture and I was like, oh I got out today. Look, it's really nice out here. You know I feel better.

[25:29] Leah Walsh: Do you enjoy writing?

[25:32] Lizzie Robinson: Uh yeah, I think I do. I don't I don't think I'm particularly great at it.

[25:37] Lizzie Robinson: But I did have a gig at one point for about a year and a half where I was a blogger for a tech company where we would write about like new phones that were coming out or new apps and stuff like that. And that sort of got me like started with the whole blogging thing. Like I was it was fun to research the stuff. Like it was you know I was interested in that anyway. But then when I was writing about it, you know it was like it was fun to try to like see what people would be interested in or like what links I should put to get people to click on. Um so that when that gig ended was sort of around the time that I started thinking about doing the national days. And I think it's a nice outlet for me. There are people like that are really great writers that I'm like, oh yeah, I could read this. I'm not one of those. Um, but I do I yeah, I do enjoy it.

[26:32] Leah Walsh: Well, I just I know you do a lot of blogging, so does it feel like it's a little less of a creative outlet and more of like an expressive?

[26:40] Lizzie Robinson: I don't well, that's doesn't make sense. Let me ask that again. I wonder. I I don't know. Does it help you think through things?

[26:46] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[26:47] Lizzie Robinson: That kind of thing. It also like I'm really I'm really just into documenting.

[26:53] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[26:54] Lizzie Robinson: Like this might be a strange question, but isn't isn't that a kind of a Mormon tradition, journaling?

[27:00] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[27:01] Lizzie Robinson: Is it related to that? You think?

[27:02] Leah Walsh: Or is it just probably or not consciously?

[27:05] Lizzie Robinson: It probably is. Like um it it's like encouraged also, by the way, viewers, I am Mormon. I just casually threw that in there.

[27:15] Leah Walsh: Viewers, I called you.

[27:19] Lizzie Robinson: Um I think that it's it's just encouraged like to like document your history um just because like family history is so important. And I don't think that it like I don't but I don't know that if that's exclusive it I mean it is talked about a lot in the Mormon church, but I think that like any of us, right? Like you don't have to be Mormon to like appreciate your grandma's journal or something, you know.

[27:42] Leah Walsh: Of course not.

[27:42] Lizzie Robinson: I yeah, was obsessed with all of all of the like when my grandparents passed away, just going through all of their papers, all of their photo albums.

[27:51] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[27:52] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, my uh mom, my mom passed away when I was just little. I was six, but her she kept a journal for like a hot second. It's so it's like not very much, but like we like me and my sisters, when we f you know, when I discovered that it was a thing, I was like, What? you know, and I read it the whole thing, it was just like because it was such a short amount of time, I'm sure you've like poured over that.

[28:14] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[28:15] Lizzie Robinson: Wow, that's interesting.

[28:16] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[28:16] Lizzie Robinson: And so then so that kind of makes you me wonder, you know, like how much would I like do I wish she had written more? You know, and like what do I want to make sure that I leave for the people that didn't know me when I was young, you know.

[28:31] Leah Walsh: Yeah, that's interesting.

[28:32] Lizzie Robinson: So I feel like when I I don't journal as much now as I used to, but I feel like a lot of it is when I did it was really private stuff.

[28:41] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[28:43] Lizzie Robinson: Like stuff you don't think about wanting other people to read.

[28:47] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[28:47] Lizzie Robinson: That's but I guess that's kind of the beauty of leaving it for posterity. It's like you're no, you're not there to be judged anymore.

[28:53] Leah Walsh: That's so true.

[28:54] Lizzie Robinson: Cause I like maybe that's why I prefer blogging because I'm like, well, I'm writing this for like people could read it tomorrow. Like what I'm gonna edit it in a way. Which I guess isn't very honest to my posterity.

[29:08] Leah Walsh: Um what is your family make of your life as a theater artist and in New York? You have several sisters, right?

[29:15] Lizzie Robinson: I have I have three sisters. I think they're I they're they are supportive. Um I don't know, I'm pretty sure none of them really knows what a stage manager is. Like I try so hard to to explain it, and there will be like sometimes a a YouTube video will come out where um it shows somebody like calling like a sequence, uh-huh, like backstage or like somebody calling the Tony's opening number or something, and I'll like send it to them. I'm like, look, that's a stage manager, you know, trying to get them to understand.

[29:47] Leah Walsh: They watched that, what was that show that came out recently?

[29:51] Lizzie Robinson: Um about Smash.

[29:53] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[29:54] Lizzie Robinson: My dad watched Smash and he's like, Who's the stage manager? And I was like, Hmm.

[30:00] Leah Walsh: Quite specific enough.

[30:02] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. Because the stage manager in that one was like making smoothies and like leaving rehearsal for long periods of time. You know.

[30:10] Leah Walsh: Um but yeah, they're I think they're really supportive. They don't I mean they've never like traveled to see a show that I'm stage managing. I don't know that that's really a thing, but they they do often, like several times actually. Um, if I'm working on a show when they're coming to visit, they obviously come see it. Like my sister came and saw food Odyssey and she loved it.

[30:34] Lizzie Robinson: And she like if I ever talk to her about any of you that were in the show, she's like, Oh yeah, I remember them. Like she knows you guys.

[30:43] Leah Walsh: And your your dad is supportive too.

[30:46] Lizzie Robinson: He is, yeah.

[30:47] Leah Walsh: What does your dad do?

[30:48] Lizzie Robinson: He is an accountant.

[30:50] Leah Walsh: And he does my taxes.

[30:53] Lizzie Robinson: So he knows how things are going.

[30:55] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[30:56] Lizzie Robinson: It's an interesting relationship.

[30:58] Leah Walsh: I mean, lovely that he does your taxes.

[31:00] Lizzie Robinson: I know, it's great. He's awesome. I really do have like the best dad. Um, but I remember when I was like, I'm moving to New York and he was like, What is your thing?

[31:10] Leah Walsh: Do your four sisters live closer to home?

[31:13] Lizzie Robinson: My I have two my oldest sister does. She has ki uh kids, she has a family and a husband. Um my s one just younger than me also does. She just graduated with her master's in so sociology.

[31:25] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[31:26] Lizzie Robinson: No, not that. So she got her master's in social work, but she does want to work in like hospice and stuff like this, I think, unless she's changed her desires.

[31:36] Leah Walsh: Um and then my other sister lives in Texas, but my youngest sister, but sh my youngest sister did live in New York for like nine months or something before I came here she went to the some design some interior design school on the east side I can't remember the name of it um but it was I wasn't I don't remember where I was at the time I might have been in Utah or something so then but my dad like came and dropped her off and help her helped her get set up and everything and then he left.

[32:08] Lizzie Robinson: When I came he just dropped me off at the airport you know and I like it was like two days after Hurricane Sandy.

[32:16] Leah Walsh: Oh my god.

[32:16] Lizzie Robinson: I mean my flight got my flight was supposed to land during Hurricane Sandy so like my flight was delayed a few days.

[32:23] Leah Walsh: That's an interesting time to join the city.

[32:26] Lizzie Robinson: I showed up and like there were no cars. There were like lines down the block for gas and like all the subways that were running were free because the ones most of them weren't running.

[32:38] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[32:38] Lizzie Robinson: It was like a few days before I like figured out like that this wasn't normal.

[32:41] Leah Walsh: This isn't normal everyone was probably being kinder to each other than they ever had that kind of unity that comes from yeah but so he was like he was he was definitely worried um but I don't I every time every time he does my taxes he's like wow you made it through another year you did a good job you know supporting yourself in New York City is a huge accomplishment.

[33:04] Leah Walsh: That's crazy.

[33:05] Lizzie Robinson: So I know that we had talked before that you are currently like thinking about moving out of stage management or where are you at like day job slash career wise right now.

[33:17] Leah Walsh: What what do you want?

[33:20] Lizzie Robinson: Well, I think I have been when I moved to New York, I got this job like three or four months in as um basically data entry that I did from home.

[33:31] Leah Walsh: Uh-huh.

[33:32] Lizzie Robinson: Which was like a dream. Cause I could just

[33:33] Leah Walsh: Was it part-time or full time?

[33:36] Lizzie Robinson: It was it started out twelve hours a week and then it was twenty and then it ended up being thirty.

[33:40] Leah Walsh: Wow.

[33:41] Lizzie Robinson: But it was also any time. So like I could like go to rehearsal and like I could do a few a few hours and go to rehearsal and do a few more hours, you know. And I ended up doing that for like four years, and so I never really had to worry, like I was all I always had at least some income and I didn't have to base my job decisions or my show decisions on whether or not I was gonna make any money.

[34:05] Leah Walsh: Awesome.

[34:05] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. But then recent like four months ago, I got laid off from that.

[34:09] Leah Walsh: And so I was like, oh, so now I need to make some real decisions about like where I want my career to go.

[34:18] Lizzie Robinson: And I had been I had been thinking for a while, as much as I love stage management and theater, I think that my priorities are just, you know, they're like shifting a little bit as I wanted to like I was you know, I wanna start a family, I wanna settle down somewhere.

[34:36] Leah Walsh: I would love to be able to like go on vacation, you know.

[34:41] Lizzie Robinson: Not that I mean I know that people who work in theater go on vacation, like obvious like we can afford it sometimes. Sometimes, but so much of it is like, well, I don't know if I'm ever gonna get a job again. So I'm just gonna say yes to every single job.

[34:55] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[34:55] Lizzie Robinson: I can't plan I can't take two weeks off if it means I have to say no to this job, you know. And that event that started wearing on me. So I started thinking about like what I wanted in a career, and I guess, yeah, I it really it came down to like I decided I wanted to start a family.

[35:12] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:12] Lizzie Robinson: And so I was like, Well, if I'm gonna start a family, I need to think about how I'm gonna support that.

[35:20] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:20] Lizzie Robinson: And health insurance.

[35:21] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:22] Lizzie Robinson: That's like the thing.

[35:24] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:24] Lizzie Robinson: That is especially right now.

[35:26] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:26] Lizzie Robinson: It's been a f I've been a hot mess about that. Um so I started just like sort of temping a little bit and like working with staffing agencies.

[35:37] Lizzie Robinson: Right now I'm temping at the LGBT center on 13th Street, which is great. I think it's been helpful for me to like it is the first job I've had, I think ever, where I'm just in an office and not like you know, it's not rehearsal, but I'm like also n any other job I've had that hasn't been theater has been like customer service.

[35:57] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:58] Lizzie Robinson: And this is like nice that it's not that, but it is also like an office and it is not as exciting as it can be monopoly.

[36:07] Leah Walsh: I would like.

[36:08] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[36:08] Leah Walsh: I know how you feel.

[36:10] Lizzie Robinson: Yes.

[36:10] Leah Walsh: What my day job is.

[36:11] Lizzie Robinson: I guess that's why people hate Mondays.

[36:13] Leah Walsh: I never really understood why.

[36:15] Lizzie Robinson: And why they like the weekend as we discussed earlier.

[36:18] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[36:19] Lizzie Robinson: I know.

[36:19] Lizzie Robinson: When I started this new day job, I was like, Oh, when I I was out and about on a Saturday and Sunday. I was like, look at all these people relaxing, they all look so happy.

[36:28] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[36:28] Lizzie Robinson: Usually my day off would be like a random Tuesday and Thursday or something for no reason.

[36:36] Leah Walsh: It is like having weekends off and being able to like I just plan with a friend, like she's like, Hey, can I come into town this weekend? And I was like, Absolutely.

[36:46] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[36:46] Leah Walsh: Cause guess what? I'll be talking.

[36:48] Lizzie Robinson: I don't have work that day.

[36:49] Leah Walsh: It's amazing.

[36:50] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[36:50] Lizzie Robinson: Well, I know you were also working at some events and stuff too. Are you still considering the like stage managing events thing like that woman had mentioned?

[36:58] Leah Walsh: Or are you looking for something that's a little more predictable?

[37:01] Lizzie Robinson: I don't know that I have um taken anything off the table at this point.

[37:06] Leah Walsh: Right.

[37:06] Lizzie Robinson: Um I have been working with this event company called Eventage that I've really I've really enjoyed. I just my first gig with them was the New York City Marathon last November.

[37:19] Leah Walsh: And then we I they have like two seasons.

[37:21] Lizzie Robinson: They have like spring season and fall season basically, or I guess winter season. Um so I did I did a ton with them last spring, summer, and then we had like June, July, August, off September maybe even.

[37:35] Lizzie Robinson: And then they'll they'll pick up again in in late September, October. And I'm I've still like told them that I'm gonna do stuff with them on weekends that I don't conflict with this day job. Because A, they're like great people, you know.

[37:52] Lizzie Robinson: And it's also just like it's it's fun to work these events, and I there I know that there is a way that I could make that a career, but I when it comes down to it, like I I need something that is not me away from the home like 12 hours a day.

[38:13] Leah Walsh: Yeah, and I think that that's really what events are.

[38:16] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[38:17] Lizzie Robinson: Well, and it sounds like if you're if you're not working for them at a certain level, it's just like on call.

[38:24] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. Like this weekend, work this one day, work the yeah. So they have like, yeah, they've got people that um they've got a staff. I don't know how big their staff is, but it's pretty decent sized. Um I'd love that it's primarily women, you know, like yeah. I think that that's one of the things I really like from about that company. It's not only women, they're not like they're I mean they start they were started by a a couple, you know, a man and a woman. But they just I think that they they're based out of New Jersey and they just work year round doing these events and they're kind of always busy and crazy, which seem they seem to be enjoying, but I'm like, oh that shoot, I wish that fit into like this plan that I'm making for myself and my future. Um that it could be that full-time thing.

[39:11] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah.

[39:14] Lizzie Robinson: Do you feel like some path is diverging in the wood? Or is this a decision that you're kind of making for the present moment and you're you think sometime you'll come back around to theater at some point?

[39:30] Lizzie Robinson: I guess it does feel sort of like a path. I but I don't want I don't want to say that though, because a part of me is like, well, theater will uh will always be a part of my life. Um I wonder how active of a role I could be behind the scenes if I'm not doing it as a career. I don't know.

[39:54] Leah Walsh: And you could still be a huge part of your life, even if you only pursue it as an audience member or as a, you know, community theater supporter or whatever that is, you know.

[40:05] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. Can be a beautiful part of your life.

[40:08] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, and I so I I I don't see myself ever like not participating. So I guess it isn't really a path diverging, but at but at the same time it is because I'm like, okay, I need to make some decisions like really quickly about like what kind of jobs what kind of job do I need to start looking for so that I therefore get hired so that I am employed and like you know, I always I I don't always that's really boastful, but I do get a lot of emails from people like, Hey, do you want a stage manager's show? you know and I've sort of stopped accepting or I've I've just kind of stopped responding to those over the past several months as I'm like, okay, I'm not, you know, I'm moving on, I'm looking for something else, this is okay, but then like recently I s I got one that I was like, Oh, I'm kind of interested in that, you know? And then I was like, shoot, does that could I do it? Like could I still take it and maybe like and but it's I I I think that it would be h better for me if I just like made a choice.

[41:15] Leah Walsh: Well and if you took that project then that kind of pushes that decision four months down the road.

[41:21] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[41:23] Leah Walsh: And then you feel like you're in the same spot.

[41:23] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, which has happened so like I'll be honest, I've quit theater several times and then I'm like except for this this will be my last show, and then the last show is like such an amazing experience that I'm like fine, I can keep doing this for a while.

[41:34] Leah Walsh: Right.

[41:34] Lizzie Robinson: And I guess I mean I of course wanted to have you on to talk about all of these things, but I know when I had originally asked you, you were like, Well, I'm kind of transitioning out of theater. Should am I really what you're looking for?

[41:47] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[41:47] Leah Walsh: And I was like, Well, a lot of this podcast is about art and commerce and how we figure out what we're doing and I think a lot of people are in your position where it's like, is this gonna give me long term the life that I want and what are my priorities and how can I still have creativity in my life and not feel like I'm constantly like just paying the bills or constantly waiting you know yeah and like I th I I think that when I when I started in this career I don't know that I ever pictured myself doing it forever but like I just loved it so much right but then as my as I got older and my priorities started shifting and I was like viewing things through a different lens I started wondering like how like how plausible is this like even if I get to where like I'm making a lot of money like I would see people like in these higher positions and I would like ask myself like is that what is that the life you want to live you know and not that in any way judging them because a lot of people were saying yeah that is the life I want to live.

[43:01] Lizzie Robinson: That's what I want to be doing. I want to be stage managing on Broadway or whatever.

[43:05] Lizzie Robinson: Um but I guess okay so let's just explain why.

[43:12] Lizzie Robinson: So last December I decided that I wanted to have a baby.

[43:18] Leah Walsh: Right.

[43:19] Lizzie Robinson: So I started the process of like and I'm single um and gay. So both things uh have an impact on that. Um so I decided so I started looking at like what my options were. I mean I had been thinking about this since my late twenties.

[43:36] Leah Walsh: You've always wanted kids.

[43:37] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[43:37] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. And so like in my in my late twenties I told my family like I'm gonna have a I'm gonna adopt a child I think and they were like oh like they thought I'm pretty sure they thought I was gonna come out to them. I hadn't yet. And I was like, everybody sit down, I have something really serious to talk about. And they're like, okay. They're like all waiting and I was like, I would like to have a child. Okay, like they were like this wasn't what I that is not where we thought this conversation was going.

[44:01] Leah Walsh: Did you guys talk about that when you eventually came out to them?

[44:05] Lizzie Robinson: No, I don't know that I've ever talked about it. I think that was what that was about when you mentioned the adoption thing.

[44:10] Lizzie Robinson: No, I I wonder if they'll listen to this podcast and be like, that is not what I I don't know.

[44:18] Lizzie Robinson: Anyway So last December I just I was really looking into it and I started trying in the spring. Like I found my I found a donor, an anonymous donor and went through all the tests and all that stuff. Started trying in the spring and now I am pregnant.

[44:34] Leah Walsh: So amazing.

[44:35] Lizzie Robinson: I know I was so excited. Um so like as a single woman every decision I make about my career is like through the lens of oh and there's gonna be a baby in six months. You know?

[44:48] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[44:49] Lizzie Robinson: It's like six months. It's incredible.

[44:52] Leah Walsh: Yeah there's a lot more weight on it now.

[44:54] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah so like can you take this show that's gonna be in four months if it means you won't be you it you'll be saying no to a full time job.

[45:04] Leah Walsh: Right.

[45:05] Lizzie Robinson: In the morning you could have yeah the stability but really it just comes down to though like health insurance and work life balance which I don't think I know I have not figured out working in the theater.

[45:20] Lizzie Robinson: I know a lot of people that have and I'm so proud of them. Like it's like hope whenever I meet people who have kids in the theater um I don't know maybe I I guess I know a few s like people that were single moms in the theater, but like there's sure not a lot of them.

[45:39] Lizzie Robinson: And I don't know if any of them were stage managers that I've met.

[45:42] Leah Walsh: Yeah, because stage managers have to be there longer than everyone else.

[45:46] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah. It's like s a lot more hours and a lot later nights and a lot more stress and a lot a ton of like being on call.

[45:56] Lizzie Robinson: Like that's a frustrating thing about stage management is that like are you just supposed to be working all the time? Like when people respond to your emails or call you during the day, like this is right.

[46:06] Leah Walsh: I thought this was my right time off.

[46:09] Lizzie Robinson: Especially like if it's the day off. Like that really gets me.

[46:12] Lizzie Robinson: This is my equity day off. Please don't call me.

[46:17] Leah Walsh: Note to everyone.

[46:19] Lizzie Robinson: Please don't call your stage managers on an equity day off.

[46:23] Leah Walsh: Call your stage managers.

[46:25] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[46:26] Leah Walsh: Well, those are all huge changes.

[46:28] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[46:29] Lizzie Robinson: I'm really really excited about this part of my life, but it's also like I've it's terrifying because things are still so much up in the air that like Yeah.

[46:39] Lizzie Robinson: I I really who knows where I'll be in six months.

[46:43] Leah Walsh: I don't.

[46:43] Lizzie Robinson: If you know, you should tell me.

[46:46] Lizzie Robinson: Um, I mean it terrifying and the thing that I've been focusing on right now in my life, because I I recently stopped drinking.

[46:56] Leah Walsh: That's awesome.

[46:58] Lizzie Robinson: Um which feels really good. But that there was a I and I mentioned this on a the intro to the other podcast where I had mentioned that to people, but if you haven't heard it, um there's this quote that I like I mean I forget the woman's name now who said it, but it's um change when it happens cracks everything open, something like that.

[47:17] Leah Walsh: Yeah, that's nice.

[47:18] Lizzie Robinson: And I just I like the idea of like if you're changing one thing, you kind of have the opportunity to change everything.

[47:25] Leah Walsh: And like that's so scary, but so exciting.

[47:28] Lizzie Robinson: It's so exciting.

[47:29] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[47:30] Lizzie Robinson: Because what if there's things that you are afraid to change or what if there's things that you didn't think you could change.

[47:35] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[47:36] Lizzie Robinson: Um or you didn't know you wanted to change.

[47:40] Leah Walsh: So I'm excited for you.

[47:43] Lizzie Robinson: Thanks.

[47:44] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I I've never and as I've been like I think the biggest decision I need to make is where I'm gonna be right like am I gonna leave New York?

[47:44] Leah Walsh: Geographically.

[47:44] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[47:44] Lizzie Robinson: And as I've been like really stressing about that these past few days. Um one thing that I keep remembering is that I've lived in a few places mostly like I like before I moved to New York I'd kind of traveled all over and lived in a few places.

[48:07] Lizzie Robinson: And by the time I left I loved all of those places.

[48:11] Leah Walsh: You know like you can make your home wherever you are.

[48:14] Lizzie Robinson: It I don't know that it yeah I I feel like pretty confident that I could find people that like or feel like my people no matter where I go which is really comforting.

[48:29] Leah Walsh: For sure.

[48:29] Lizzie Robinson: Even though I'm still panicking a little okay I'm gonna ask you this next question but if you do not want to talk about it you do not have to I was wondering how you're handling the current political environment if you're how you're finding ways to deal with it or be active or stay sane.

[48:50] Lizzie Robinson: Well I I was never political until now.

[48:58] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[48:59] Lizzie Robinson: I think that um the selection created a lot of activists, which is the only good thing that I've seen so far.

[49:09] Lizzie Robinson: Like good result.

[49:11] Lizzie Robinson: Um and I was one of them.

[49:12] Lizzie Robinson: Like I was very passive in politics.

[49:16] Lizzie Robinson: Like I voted, but like not with a lot of passion or you know.

[49:22] Lizzie Robinson: But I've been, yeah, I've been like actively like protesting and um like f I did, I mean, I did have to take a break from Facebook after this last week, which was exceptionally difficult.

[49:39] Lizzie Robinson: Um but like I have learned that that's also helpful, like for like emotional health to like exit the conversation for a minute.

[49:49] Leah Walsh: Yeah, it can be easy to think that that's the only way the conversation is happening.

[49:54] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[49:54] Lizzie Robinson: And I don't know if that's helping.

[49:56] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[49:56] Lizzie Robinson: Or like I'm I'm obviously not true, but like face Facebook is probably the least effective way.

[50:05] Lizzie Robinson: I mean, maybe there's maybe maybe sheet caking is even like even less effective, but yeah, arguing with people on Facebook is like really brought out the worst in me.

[50:20] Lizzie Robinson: Um especially because I think I because I really don't I don't like to be confrontational, which might surprise people about me, especially if they've seen me on Facebook lately.

[50:39] Lizzie Robinson: I like value all of my friendships and my relationships with my family.

[50:43] Lizzie Robinson: But like, yeah, it does get to a point when I'm like, okay, we n saying saying nothing isn't helpful.

[50:50] Lizzie Robinson: Um so I think using my voice has helped me to stay sane, even though sometimes I wonder if it's making a difference.

[50:56] Lizzie Robinson: Um but just like the way that I feel much more aware of what's happening in this country and like listening to you know political shows like I never did that before.

[51:11] Lizzie Robinson: I avoided them. I didn't want to deal with it, which is so like that's my privilege, right? Like I didn't need to worry about it because it wasn't affecting me.

[51:20] Leah Walsh: Right.

[51:21] Lizzie Robinson: Um, and just because it's affecting me now, like I feel bad about that, but like I guess I can't change forward and change the future.

[51:30] Leah Walsh: Yeah. Um, so that I guess that's what I'm doing to stay sane, although I don't obviously I'm not really that sane still. Um, is there like a lesson you've learned in the last couple years that you're really proud of that you want to tell me about? Um, like a life lesson?

[51:51] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, like a life lesson or something that you've changed the way you do it that you think is just helping you as a human. I think I've spent the last few years, um, coming to like an acceptance of who I am as a person, like who I am as like Lizzie, which also I guess affects who I am as a stage manager.

[52:22] Lizzie Robinson: But like accepting and loving that person despite all of my, like, you know, flaws and shortcomings. And as I've been going through that process, and like it's not easy, and then sort of recognizing that we're all doing that, you know.

[52:44] Lizzie Robinson: We're all just living our lives, like trying to figure out how to like love and accept who we are and despite our flaws, and that maybe we should be patient with each other as we try to figure that out about ourselves.

[52:57] Leah Walsh: Yes.

[52:58] Lizzie Robinson: I guess as I've learned that, I think that I've just been a lot more open to the people in the world and more excited about how different everyone is. I'm very aware that I'm the minority in the room basically anywhere I go, like not racially, but I'm Mormon and I'm pretty conservative, you know, but I'm also gay. And so like when I'm with a lot of conservative Mormons, like they're like, oh she's so liberal and extreme, and you know, and then I'm like in a room in a rehearsal room with a lot of people that like, like the if I feel I sometimes fear like voicing my opinion about well this, you know, right.

[53:13] Lizzie Robinson: Um, and that's scared that that's made me nervous sometimes, not like for my safety, but just like sometimes a little nervous about how people respond. But I think as I've been like more accepting of people's ideas, um, I'm like, oh, you know, I think people are probably be a little bit more understanding of mine.

[54:11] Lizzie Robinson: It's tricky though, now that we're in this political climate of like that's so extreme, so extreme.

[54:18] Leah Walsh: And people are like their guns on both sides, yeah.

[54:21] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, and I'm like somewhere in the middle, and I'm like, but guys, you know.

[54:23] Leah Walsh: Right.

[54:24] Lizzie Robinson: And so it seems like I'm just fighting with everyone because I'm like, can we not be like this extremely conservative and this extremely liberal? Can we just like have like normal conversations about how to make our lives, um, which often gets lost.

[54:42] Lizzie Robinson: So that that's like the thing that I'm trying to say to people in my life is that like I think we all want the same thing, but we're getting caught up in like these parties and these lines that we've drawn, and that we have to get further and further away from each other.

[54:57] Lizzie Robinson: But we really do just want this. We want to like have families and a life and a career and be safe and be happy, and like can't we support but it but we can't, I guess you know, there's so many ways.

[55:12] Leah Walsh: I think it's amazing though that you are trying to have these conversations.

[55:16] Lizzie Robinson: And I know I can't always be easy, but like when I see you, I know I'm I'm not part of your Mormon community, but I I think it's really brave when I see you making posts about like this is important to the LGBT community, and how can the church be more accepting and like starting those conversations and you're trying to like make change from within the organization instead of leaving, which is a totally justifiable choice too, and I know a lot of people have made it, but um I think that's really brave.

[55:47] Lizzie Robinson: Thanks.

[55:48] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, it's also yeah, I think that it's like the that's the choice I made was like, well, I could leave and like sort of give them what they want.

[56:00] Leah Walsh: Right, but if it's important to you.

[56:02] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I could stay and like fight for this thing that I I belong to just as much as all everybody else does, you know.

[56:13] Lizzie Robinson: Um, it's also been really comforting to me to have so many people reach out to me.

[56:21] Lizzie Robinson: Like a lot of them are still shy about it, but I've had a lot of people reach out to me like, yeah, I'm I'm on your side on this, you know.

[56:28] Lizzie Robinson: Which I really, really appreciate. And I like look forward to these people like sort of being on my side out loud at some point.

[56:37] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[56:37] Lizzie Robinson: Um, but I mean I guess I can take I'll take what I can get, you know.

[56:42] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, like not just to you, but to the people who are making these roles or making these statements. And like just because I'm vocal about you know, how how the church's stance on on like homosexuality or women, you know, affects me.

[56:59] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[56:59] Lizzie Robinson: And you're vocally supporting me, like that doesn't mean the person that's like quiet about it, like they need to hear it too. They need to hear it probably more than I need to hear it.

[57:09] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[57:10] Lizzie Robinson: Which is yeah.

[57:11] Lizzie Robinson: I just there's a like a we don't need to get into it, but there's like a big problem with like the youth the Mormon LGBT youth right now that like a lot could be helped if people were more vocal.

[57:24] Leah Walsh: Um, if you are having a day where you're feeling really stuck or uninspired, like are there any concrete things that you reach for again and again? Like a book or place you go or something like that.

[57:37] Lizzie Robinson: I walk a lot. Currently the blog has been changed to walking to Mordor because I am walking to Mordor.

[57:47] Leah Walsh: I saw that.

[57:48] Lizzie Robinson: So are you do you have a number of steps that it takes to?

[57:48] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I was I was watching Lord of the Rings again one day and I thought, wow, they walked a lot. I love walking. I wonder how far they walked.

[58:00] Lizzie Robinson: Because I love walking. So I googled it, and there's a there's a spreadsheet you can find on nerdfitness.com that has the number of miles, and like you enter in how many miles you walk and it calculates where you are.

[58:16] Lizzie Robinson: And so then I of course bought this very large map, very large map of Middle Earth, and I made a little like a small figurine, and it's walking across the map as I walk.

[58:29] Leah Walsh: I love that.

[58:30] Lizzie Robinson: Um, see this is what I mean. You give yourself large projects.

[58:35] Lizzie Robinson: Uh, yeah, so walking is a huge thing, and it's my favorite thing about the city. My god.

[58:39] Lizzie Robinson: All time favorite.

[58:40] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, because I can just walk for a while, and when I'm done walking, I get on a train and go home. It's amazing.

[58:46] Lizzie Robinson: Um, I also here are some other things I do.

[58:50] Lizzie Robinson: I watch commencement ceremony videos on YouTube, speeches.

[58:57] Leah Walsh: Uh-huh.

[58:59] Lizzie Robinson: They're so inspiring. You watch a few of those and you're like, I can do anything. I'm gonna go out and change the world.

[59:07] Leah Walsh: I love that.

[59:08] Lizzie Robinson: There's some really good ones. And every year I'm like, oh, there's gonna be a new batch coming out.

[59:12] Lizzie Robinson: There there's like It's a new season.

[59:14] Leah Walsh: Yeah, it's a new commencement series. You want to shout out?

[59:18] Lizzie Robinson: Um, I recently watched the one by what is the actress's name?

[59:24] Lizzie Robinson: She was in um Hidden Figures.

[59:27] Leah Walsh: She's the uh Octavia Spencer?

[59:29] Lizzie Robinson: Yes, Octavia. She did one recently that was very good.

[59:32] Leah Walsh: Okay.

[59:33] Lizzie Robinson: Um, JK Rowling did one that was really good a few years ago.

[59:38] Lizzie Robinson: And I mean, then there's funny ones like Ellen DeGeneres did one, so she's just funny.

[59:43] Lizzie Robinson: I mean, like Oprah was really good.

[59:46] Leah Walsh: I'm gonna watch all of these this week.

[59:48] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, they're I mean they're all so good. And like just watching a few of them, you don't need to watch them all in one sitting because you can save them for the next time you're feeling like, can I make a difference in the world?

[59:57] Lizzie Robinson: And the answer is yes, you can, Leah.

[1:00:00] Leah Walsh: Okay, good one.

[1:00:02] Lizzie Robinson: Um, another thing I do.

[1:00:04] Lizzie Robinson: Another thing I do also on YouTube. These are things I do like when I'm awake stressing in the middle of the night.

[1:00:08] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:00:08] Lizzie Robinson: You know, I can't sleep because I'm stressed about like all the worries of the world. I watch Slam poetry on YouTube.

[1:00:17] Lizzie Robinson: Sarah Kay. She did a TED talk, I think it was in 2011, called gosh, I don't know what it's called.

[1:00:27] Lizzie Robinson: But she does in that TED Talk, she does two different poems, and they're like so good.

[1:00:35] Lizzie Robinson: So I'll watch that a few times.

[1:00:38] Lizzie Robinson: Uh, but generally any slam poetry is Yeah, no, I I love Slam.

[1:00:44] Lizzie Robinson: But I would not have I am just not a big YouTube person.

[1:00:46] Leah Walsh: I don't think to look these things up.

[1:00:48] Lizzie Robinson: Right.

[1:00:49] Lizzie Robinson: I ever I I mean I can go a few months without like thinking about it, and then I'll be like, and suddenly I'm down the rabbit hole with like this is what I need.

[1:00:56] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:00:57] Lizzie Robinson: Amazing.

[1:00:58] Lizzie Robinson: Um, and then lastly, is there anything that you've seen recently of any art form that you want to recommend? Or friends' shows or whatever.

[1:01:07] Lizzie Robinson: I was thinking about this on my ride over, and I have had a summer of not seeing anything because I was...

[1:01:07] Leah Walsh: You've been focusing on other things.

[1:01:17] Lizzie Robinson: I was actually very sick for a little while with morning sickness, and I couldn't go anywhere because I was worried that I was not gonna make it through.

[1:01:25] Lizzie Robinson: So I missed most of the summer of shows, which is which really bummed me out.

[1:01:30] Lizzie Robinson: I did recently see um Doll's House Part Two.

[1:01:34] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[1:01:35] Lizzie Robinson: Which was amazing and also very funny.

[1:01:39] Leah Walsh: Yes.

[1:01:39] Lizzie Robinson: I was funny not expecting funny.

[1:01:42] Lizzie Robinson: I was like, this is gonna be like drama, it's really gonna make me think, it's gonna really, you know, I'm so excited.

[1:01:49] Lizzie Robinson: And like it did all the it did those things, but it definitely made me laugh.

[1:01:53] Lizzie Robinson: And I saw The Play That Goes Wrong.

[1:01:55] Leah Walsh: Also, hilarious.

[1:01:56] Lizzie Robinson: It was bananas.

[1:01:57] Lizzie Robinson: Hilarious.

[1:01:58] Lizzie Robinson: I can't even so many things went wrong.

[1:02:02] Leah Walsh: So many things are wrong.

[1:02:04] Lizzie Robinson: Indeed.

[1:02:06] Lizzie Robinson: They did.

[1:02:07] Lizzie Robinson: Oh, just thinking about that show just makes me laugh.

[1:02:09] Leah Walsh: It's crazy.

[1:02:11] Lizzie Robinson: They must have so much fun.

[1:02:12] Leah Walsh: Oh my god.

[1:02:13] Lizzie Robinson: Um, I had did you listen to the one I had with one of the actresses on, Charlie?

[1:02:19] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:02:20] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[1:02:20] Lizzie Robinson: It sounded like they have a great time.

[1:02:21] Lizzie Robinson: And it's also like I just don't see that many farces.

[1:02:24] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:02:24] Lizzie Robinson: So it's nice to be reminded of like this isn't something I think about that much.

[1:02:28] Lizzie Robinson: It's not something that I necessarily am like drawn to, but it's a whole other category.

[1:02:33] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:02:33] Lizzie Robinson: And it's a delight.

[1:02:34] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah, I uh I have this little notebook that I take to with me to all the shows I go to and I write down quotes as the show goes on.

[1:02:42] Lizzie Robinson: And then at the end of the night, I like take a picture of me with my playbook.

[1:02:45] Lizzie Robinson: This is like my thing that I do.

[1:02:46] Lizzie Robinson: Take a picture with me and my playbill and whoever sat with me, and I write and I include my favorite quote from the show.

[1:02:51] Leah Walsh: Uh-huh.

[1:02:52] Lizzie Robinson: I I wa I did it with Play That Goes Wrong.

[1:02:56] Lizzie Robinson: I was just laughing the whole time.

[1:02:57] Lizzie Robinson: No notes.

[1:02:58] Lizzie Robinson: Just laughing.

[1:02:59] Leah Walsh: Well, I'm the quote was like some slapstick moment with no words.

[1:03:04] Lizzie Robinson: Yeah.

[1:03:05] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:03:05] Lizzie Robinson: Awesome.

[1:03:07] Leah Walsh: Well, Lizzie, thank you so much for doing this.

[1:03:09] Lizzie Robinson: Thank you for having me. This has been fun.

[1:03:11] Leah Walsh: Thank you.

[1:03:21] Leah Walsh: Thank you for listening to the Compass Podcast.

[1:03:24] Leah Walsh: I'm Leah Walsh. More episodes are coming soon. Please look for us on Facebook in iTunes.

[1:03:29] Leah Walsh: I'd like to thank the following people for their generosity.

[1:03:32] Leah Walsh: The Compass Cover Art is by Kim Miller, music by Brendan Spieth, audio assistance from Nick Choxie, and a special thanks to Frankie J. Alvarez.

[1:03:41] Leah Walsh: See you next time.