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[0:00] Alan Seales: Welcome to The Theatre Podcast, intimate personal conversations with theatre's biggest names. This episode is with none other than Amber Ardolino, who you may know from the original Chicago production of Hamilton, or making her Broadway debut in the Broadway version of Hamilton, or the Philip or Eliza tours of Hamilton, or tours of Flashdance, West Side Story, Legally Blonde. I mean, I'm not going to read her whole bio here, because I do as I get into the interview with her, but she was just an absolute delight to talk to. I didn't know her personally before this interview, and we just talked and talked, and she opened up so much, and Amber, if you're listening, thank you. Thank you for really going there.

I was so happy with our conversation, and you just, you surprised me. And we actually talked about this a lot in the episode, but we did this deep dive into how each social media platform, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, whatever it is, showcases a different side of her personality. And what we learned from all of this is that none of those are really truly her. Like her personality is completely different in a good way from like what you might perceive about her on social media. And that goes with anybody. Again, my PSA for the day is you should never judge anyone or compare your life or anything you're doing to anybody else based on what or how they post on social media. I said, have you always wanted to perform?

Have you always wanted to do theater? And she goes, yes, absolutely. Never questioned doing this job until right now, COVID, and being by herself and not working and the struggle that comes with that. And that, of course, leads into what I love to talk about on the podcast, mental health and her own sort of road to recovery. As always, before we get into this, please find me online at theatre_podcast on Instagram and Twitter, facebook.com slash officialtheatrepodcast. Show your support through Patreon at thetheatrepodcast.com slash Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N. Wherever you're listening now, please leave a rating, leave a review. I love to read the reviews. And now everybody, please enjoy this extremely wonderful episode with Amber Ardolino.

[2:20] Alan Seales: My guest today made her Broadway debut in Hamilton and was also in the original Chicago production. She's been seen as Sherrie in the Las Vegas production of Rock of Ages. In addition to the national tours of Flashdance, West Side Story, Legally Blonde, and both the Phillip and Eliza tours of Hamilton, she recently sang a phenomenal duet with former co-star Bonnie Milligan on the album called Within Earshot. And her additional Broadway credits include Head Over Heels, in which she understudied Mopsa. And once Broadway returns, she'll resume her role as The Swing, the Arabia understudy, and the Satine understudy in Moulin Rouge, the musical. Amber Ardolino, welcome to The Theatre Podcast.

[3:11] Amber Ardolino: Hello, thanks for having me.

[3:14] Alan Seales: You're very, very welcome. I just want to start real quick by saying that I don't think I've ever seen somebody in such a short amount of time rack up so many credits that are very specifically swings or understudies.

[3:28] Amber Ardolino: Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was a mouthful. I was listening to you say it and I was like, yeah, that's a lot of covers I've done.

[3:30] Alan Seales: It's intense. I think swings and understudies are some of the hardest jobs in theater, especially on Broadway when you've, I mean, like in Moulin Rouge, how many tracks do you cover?

[3:52] Amber Ardolino: I covered 10 tracks in Moulin Rouge.

[3:55] Alan Seales: 10?

[3:56] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, right at the cap. Yeah, 10. I actually only started covering the Can-Can Girls and the Satine. But, you know, shows open, we see how shows start running, and then we just started adding on covers. So now I also cover Arabia, La Chocolat, and Baby Doll. So the three of the Lady N girls as well. So yeah, just adding them on, you know, just keep them going.

[4:26] Alan Seales: I mean, from someone who has never been a swing on Broadway, is this a contractual change? Like, is this like getting promoted at work in a normal corporate job?

[4:35] Amber Ardolino: I wouldn't call it a promotion as much as, we need you on stage, can you do this? Yeah, and that's actually how my first cover added went. I ended up not being a cover for La Chocolat. I didn't start as a cover for her. And it was an instance where injuries happen on stage. And, you know, you get approached backstage with a laptop, and they say, can you do this? And you just say, yeah, sure. All right, let's go. Man, next thing you know, you got a new cover on your list of things. So it was a wild, it doesn't always happen like that. But you know, with a show as hard and challenging as Moulin Rouge, I just don't think any of us were prepared to see what an eight show week would look like. And it's proven to be difficult.

[5:30] Alan Seales: So it's very, it's very, very hard. I mean, the show, like I got tired watching the show.

[5:37] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, the opening number is what, like a 10 minute marathon, right? Like, how long is it?

[5:43] Alan Seales: The opening number, you start right out the gate with 30 can-can kicks. And I don't know about you, but that's like not how every show starts. You know, a lot of shows and that's like not the norm. So to go right out the gate, full 180. And then sprinkling little numbers throughout that are of that same impact, you know, throughout the show. It's wild. It's definitely something that took so much training and so much preparation and especially as a swing. What was difficult was building that stamina that when you're not on every night, you can be able to go on stage and keep up with the other girls because the other girls are working and they've done this and they've been here. They've been doing it for a couple of years now. So just signing on, it was like, get your butt in gear, Amber.

[6:38] Alan Seales: Well, your normal, like if you're, okay, so if you're not covering for somebody, do you have a normal ensemble track?

[6:46] Amber Ardolino: No. You know, some circumstances it is like that. Like when I did Rock of Ages in Vegas, I had my own ensemble track along with covering other tracks in the show. And usually in that circumstance, it'll be a track that they can easily take in and out of the show so that you are able to go into these other characters and roles. So yeah, I have done that, but in this situation, I am like your typical swing that like waits backstage. And then, you know, if you go on, you go on. Sometimes you get noticed, sometimes you don't. And then, you know, you just, you do it.

[7:26] Alan Seales: So normally, normally on this podcast, I always say like, tell me how you started, tell me how you got into it. But I want to continue down this track and we'll get back to your beginnings in a little bit. But I've been having an anxiety dream lately where a producer friend of mine has revived a show. And 30 minutes before curtain, it's announced that I'm in the show. And I've never rehearsed with it. I don't know the songs and I know no lines.

[7:56] Amber Ardolino: I can't tell you how many dreams I've had like that. So I sympathize. I know the stress of it all in the moment. Yes, I totally understand that dream. And I've been there before.

[8:09] Alan Seales: I mean, are you like hanging out backstage, you know, drinking a Red Bull and you're like, all right, I'm ready, I'm ready. And then it's just a disappointment when you don't go on or you're just like, or the equivalent of hanging out, smoking a cigarette, right? All right, well, I'm not going on tonight. So I'm just gonna relax. Like, at what point are you like, okay, cool, I can check out a little bit.

[8:30] Amber Ardolino: My times, my mid show swing ons always come on the nights where I order like, a large extra pasta and massive burger from Five Guys. So like, those are the nights that I'm like, ah, I ordered this. I know, like, I'll be in the show. So I, you know, it's enough to gamble with it. Like when you're swinging, you never know when you're going to be on. But it's also kind of the most exciting part. And that's what I enjoy the most about swinging is that rush of are you just going to go on at any moment? Like, do you have 30 minutes to get ready and like put on a lip and like, you know, when I made my debut in Moulin Rouge, I was thrown on stage in a costume that I had tried on once, no makeup, and they threw my hair in a wig.

And it's like, those are the moments in theater where they're just the most exciting because like, you know, how often does that happen? So it's fun. I love it. Some people hate it. I get a kick out of it. Because you can never take it too seriously. You're just like, you know what, it happens. It happens.

[9:38] Alan Seales: Yeah, I feel like I don't have enough life experience to be on stage to be comfortable with that. Because I just I want to be able to rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and know what's coming and be comfortable enough with what should be there to be able to handle anything that changes. Like anything that needs to be improvised at the time, right?

[10:01] Amber Ardolino: Right. And that's hard. Like, I think as actors, we're such perfectionists. And like, we want everything to be perfect. And I think being a swing and like, given this opportunity, it's like completely sheds you of that skin of like, you have to be perfection on stage at all times. Because it's like, okay, well, yeah, that's just like not gonna happen. So get over it, girl, like, laugh about it, or, you know, be upset that it just didn't go the way you wanted it. And like, that's not how to live in this business. So you know, well, have you always have you always been like that? Or has this profession in swinging primarily like gotten you to that point?

[10:45] Amber Ardolino: Um, I think I've always been pretty good with the flow. I went to performing arts high school. Um, you know, random, funny stuff, which is always happened to me, like on stage, where I would just be like, well, that happened, like, one night, so we were doing A Chorus Line. Here we go. Already getting into the grandma stories. Here we go. I was doing A Chorus Line.

[11:05] Alan Seales: I wonder when I was doing A Chorus Line at 16 years old. I couldn't even drive. I was like 15 turning 16. I couldn't drive and I was playing Cassie. It was like didn't make sense. It was like, okay.

[11:22] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, you do. The first night that was like my first big show performing, you know, within in a musical. And first night I went on, I forgot like the iconic Cassie dance, like the dance, the red dress mirror dance that she does forgot the whole thing went right out my head. And in that moment, it's like something where like, you can just beat yourself up about it. Or you can be like, well, that happened. And then you just improv it and you move on. And I think that's from like, I've learned that from such a young age that now that when it happens, I'm just like, all right, well, okay, here we go. It's like, what can you do?

[12:05] Alan Seales: I guess. I mean, for me, I'm like, am I gonna get can-can kicked in the head? Or am I gonna fall in the pit? Or, you know, there's just so much. For me, it's like, it's imposter syndrome, right? Because, like, you look around on stage and you're like, Oh, look, there's Aaron Tveit. There's Karen Olivo. There's Morgan Marcel. There's all these people. Like, why am I here? Right. And I'm not saying by don't get me wrong, you deserve as every much as much as everyone else to be on that stage, because you're absolutely amazing and captivating. And, but like speaking myself, when I when I'm in these situations, I'm like, why am I here? And this, this is just really weird. And that's all. It's so much stress, and which is probably

[12:54] Amber Ardolino: I'm probably on this side of the mic and not on your side of the mic.

[12:57] Alan Seales: Oh, you're not! No, absolutely. Honestly, when you are in a cast with like people of that caliber, I mean, like you said it, like Aaron, Karen, Morgan, the dancers, everyone is so incredible and everybody's resumé.

[13:14] Amber Ardolino: When you go into a cast with people that have just like credit on credit on credit on credit, like you gotta be on your shit because it's difficult and because they are such professionals, it just like levels you up that like you, you don't want to screw up because everyone is so incredible at what they do.

[13:37] But, you know, mistakes happen here. And, you know, as they always do, it's live theater. But like, yes, when you are a swing, you do have to be on your game because accidents can happen, things can happen, and you never want to be that person that like kicks Karen Olivo off the stage and you don't want to be that girl, that dancer, and things can happen like that. So, yeah, it is, it is made me very prepared in that sense.

[14:10] Alan Seales: All right, so take me back to Little Amber. You said you were already doing roles beyond your years when you were 16. But you, I mean, Moulin Rouge is a dance heavy, Rock of Ages is singing heavy. And, and obviously you've been doing Hamilton, acting heavy, like you've got this triple threat resume, which everybody has to have these days. But what started first? Where did you grow up, actually?

[14:36] Amber Ardolino: Thank you. So I, I grew up in like, country town, Pennsylvania, like middle of nowhere. Like a fancy night out in my town is a trip to the hot dog shop, which is a restaurant. Don't know if you've ever heard of it, but that's like a fancy night out of my town.

[14:58] Alan Seales: It's called the hot dog shop?

[15:00] Amber Ardolino: It's quite literally called the hot dog shop. And if any of your viewers know what that is, send me a message.

[15:06] Alan Seales: Listen, I, I grew up at a place where the fancy place was Ted's Kickin' Chicken. So I can sympathize.

[15:12] Amber Ardolino: Yes. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. I grew up like very country, middle of nowhere. So I started at a dance studio. That turns into like a competition dance vibe where I was like competing, dancing. And then I always like knew I wanted to sing. I always had a loud mouth. I was always like singing in my couch, in my, in my kitchen, singing at home on the couch. And, um, I knew that I wanted to be a singer and the studio I was competitive dancing at said, well, no, you have to choose one or the other. And I thought, why? So I actually quit competitive dancing and I started focusing more on like musical theater. I knew I wanted to sing. I knew I wanted to act. I wanted to start getting into musicals.

[16:06] Alan Seales: Um, why? Well, what was it about musical theater at that point?

[16:11] Amber Ardolino: Yeah. So the first show I ever saw was a Pittsburgh CLO and Benetton Center actually have like a really great, you know, theater scene. Um, so I would drive like an hour to Pittsburgh and me and my mom would go see Broadway shows in Pittsburgh. And I remember the first show I saw, uh, was Miss Saigon. And I was so overwhelmed. I've never had an experience. Um, uh, in the theater like that, where I was like crying and just emotional and just like in love with it. And I was like, wow, I just like, this is something I have to, I have to be doing. Um, and I like, I'll never forget like sitting in the theater and like watching like in the heights, like watching like the dancers. I always like was able to pick out like ensemble members and like people that I was obsessed with.

Um, and it just kind of shaped, uh, this, this path for me that I was like, I need to be doing this. Um, so I found a performing arts high school. It was about an hour from where I lived and I would get on a bus every day, drive an hour to school.

[17:23] Um, and I went to this performing arts high school and I felt, I was, I felt so at home. Like that was, it's, that was like for me, like, okay, this is end all be all. I am putting all my eggs into the musical theater basket. You know, I was not going to be a mathematician. I was not going to be a science gal. So you know what I mean? It just wasn't, that path wasn't meant for me. So, um, yeah, after that I was like, this is it. I'm done. And then I just had this goal of Broadway and I think over the years my, my goals have changed a little bit and I've just like all avenues of theater have been, um, so interesting to me, but, um, yeah, that just became the end all be all for me in high school, I guess.

[18:14] Alan Seales: Hmm. Okay. Okay. So then back up to when your dance studio made you choose, you know, you wanted to do both.

[18:22] Amber Ardolino: Right.

[18:24] Alan Seales: And it was that, was that in high school then?

[18:26] Amber Ardolino: That was, I, I was, I would say middle school when they made me, made me choose and it was more so like competitive dancing was, um, back then like competitions, like you were at a competition every weekend and you need, yeah, it was like very hard, very.

[18:45] Alan Seales: Like Dance Moms, right? Like that show on TLC?

[18:48] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, straight out of Dance Moms, which was in Pittsburgh. So that was like where I grew up. Dance Moms, um, that was my life like all middle school and I realized that's not, it just wasn't the life I, I wanted. It was high stakes a lot. Um, and so that life was high stakes. So I decided to get into theater, which is even more high stakes.

[19:10] Alan Seales: Cause that, cause that's even easier.

[19:12] Amber Ardolino: Yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so I, I just didn't want to dedicate all my time to one thing. I knew I wanted to sing. I, I love singing and, um, sometimes I, I prefer singing and acting more than dancing. I knew I started on dancing, but, um, I am starting to get into, uh, age. I don't want to say age, but where, you know, dancing, I realized like it's not going to be my life forever. So, um, so yeah, I'm, I'm glad I did. Cause now being in this industry, I mean, you are absolutely right. You gotta be able to sing and dance and act and, and do accents and juggle and, and swallow swords and fly. You know what I mean? Swords. Swords. Swallow swords. Swallow swords.

[20:08] Alan Seales: Uh, yeah. Yeah. And, and it's hard. Like I, I interview women of a certain age on, or people of a certain age, um, on this podcast and, you know, they're like, I don't know how kids do it these days. Cause you have to sing and act and dance because, you know, back when they were in their twenties, early twenties, early thirties, it was like, you had the giant chorus that all they did was dance. Right. And then you had your singers and they needed your leads and they were the actors. Yeah. And you had your like few select, like Chita Rivera, Glenn Burden, you had Sutton Foster. It was like those few select ones that could do all three. And everyone was just like, like, so taken back by it. And now you walk into Curl Studios and everyone can do it.

[20:52] Amber Ardolino: Where do you think that came from? My, my, before you answer, I want to say my theory is with the rise of social media, it's easier to find everyone who can do it slash those who want to do it. It's easier to learn because they can watch videos.

[21:07] Amber Ardolino: Sure. And I think that's a lot of where I've gotten my training also is watching videos and, and mimicking these people that I admire and learning after them. You're right. It's so much more accessible now. Um, and the training, like people, you can like, you can do the training. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's so many like avenues to train now in fields that you just have never, you know, put work into before. Um, so yeah, I think it's, it's an easier way to go about it, but it's, it's also harder. Like, I mean, to be able, Broadway is now like, you got to sing a high E and then kick your face at the same time and then give a dramatic monologue. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's a lot.

[22:00] Alan Seales: Um, so keeping kind of head on your shoulders with that is, is difficult in this business because there is so many, you know,

[22:12] Amber Ardolino: Well, yeah. And we'll speak of social media. I mean, I was looking through, looking through yours to prep for this and you've, uh, you've got a lot, you've got a lot of, of posts, um, where you're creating, you're creating a lot of content. And, you know, actually, now that I think about it, the one place I didn't dive into was TikTok because,

[22:31] Alan Seales: Oh no.

[22:32] Amber Ardolino: Yeah. That's why. Um,

[22:36] Alan Seales: Because like it's about to get banned today or should we just.

[22:40] Amber Ardolino: No, it's just like, I don't, it's just there. And, and I'm such a creature of purpose and function that I'm like, I don't need it. I don't need it.

[22:49] Amber Ardolino: You know, it's something I thought I was like, my friend told me about it and I was not interested in TikTok. I like didn't, I knew it was around and like before TikTok, it was musically. Um, and Moulin Rouge made a monster out of me because they asked me to run their TikTok account. And then from there I was like, Oh, I'm going to make my own TikTok account. And then next thing you know, you're creating all this content. And now I have, you know, a hundred thousand people following me on TikTok every day that are like, what are you going to do today? What do you get? And it's, it's like a, it's a beast. It's like once you get involved in TikTok, like you're, you're doing it. People are creating and singing and dancing and acting and doing scenes and lip sync. It's like such a different world to the other social media platforms. It's interesting.

[23:44] Alan Seales: Well, where do you, where do you see yourself being the most authentic or, or is there any version of social media where you are your authentic self?

[23:54] Amber Ardolino: Okay. That's very interesting. It's an interesting question. Um, I think what I've noticed between, I love Facebook. We keep Facebook cause like my mom, you know, families on Facebook. That's how we wish each other happy birthday. That's how you know. Um, so that's Facebook.

[24:18] Alan Seales: Uh, Twitter, Twitter's fine. I'm not really, you know, crazy about tweeting like everything I do. It doesn't, you know, whatever. Instagram for me has always been a way to collage my life events, my things that mean things to me.

[24:42] Amber Ardolino: Uh, artistically I love putting pictures together that like look good. I don't know why it's more of like, um, like a fun thing, a Pinteresty kind of thing for me to do. That's, I, I like Instagram for that reason. I think it's, um, that's what I get out of it that brings me joy is I, I like doing that.

[25:08] Amber Ardolino: TikTok is the shit show that keeps on giving. TikTok. I find on Instagram, I try to be a little bit more, um, I guess professional. I just, I like to, I'm not the same person on Instagram that I am on TikTok.

[25:32] Amber Ardolino: TikTok is an eclectic group of people that posts like funny videos. And like, I find the content I'm doing on TikTok is just so different than like what I'm posting on Instagram.

[25:47] Amber Ardolino: I kind of love that not a lot of my friends are on TikTok because I don't have to like do it for anyone but like myself. Like I create what I want to create. It's not like I'm like doing like I have to like impress people. You know what I mean? Instagram I think is so like stuffy in a way that like you're posting your highlights and Instagram is like posting your best bits about yourself and TikTok for me is like fun.

[26:15] Alan Seales: That's so interesting. It's so interesting how you described it that as Instagram is being more professional because like looking through your Instagram account it's lots of show pictures and it's pretty like you know like the Pinteresty collage and stuff but there's also I guess for lack of a better term there's a lot of skin shown on Instagram.

[26:40] Amber Ardolino: Oh yeah. Oh my god my mom told you to say that didn't she? Okay mom cool.

[26:51] Alan Seales: I told her mom I told her that she's showing too much skin on Instagram.

[26:56] Amber Ardolino: No no no because the reason when you I thought that I thought for me that you were going to say Instagram was more for like personal sort of validation and I wanted and I was sort of leading the conversation into a point where I was like so posting a lot of pictures of yourself and you know there's a specific image I want to talk about here soon but it's very much of like it opens yourself up to a lot of criticism but it also opens yourself up to a ton of validation which you know of course goes to like the mental health of all of this but what I wanted to bring up was just my most enjoyable posts of yours are when you're acting like a total goofball because that to me seems like the real you and so if that is what you're doing on TikTok then I'm gonna go start following you on TikTok.

[27:49] Amber Ardolino: Oh my god it's funny it's literally funny you say that because I have had um people be like why aren't you posting like your TikTok stuff on your Instagram and I I don't know I just I separated the two um for so long but yeah you're right I do feel more of myself on TikTok Instagram feels more of like brand deals and things like you know my modeling photos that I've done are are on there it's just it's different than than who I am um but it's still me but yeah it's a slightly not version of me because I am such a weirdo which I am so relieved to hear.

[28:30] Alan Seales: Because when you said Instagram was more like professional that to me it I immediately I guess I went to the to the initially the wrong place but you said like modeling photos so that to me is more industrial modeling picture sort of photos but to me it was like you have to present yourself as like the perfect body sort of objectified in order to continue to work in the business that you want to work in which right like am I am I just totally off base or is that part of the whole thing?

[28:58] Amber Ardolino: No I um I so interestingly enough like through Head Over Heels um I was approached uh from an agency by seeing me in the show that um uh assigned me for modeling um so I booked my modeling agency through that and I can't tell you how many modeling calls I've been on where they ask you to write down your Instagram which is wild um but it's that we are at that point um which also makes me kind of want to dive into this movie I just watched called The Social Dilemma.

[29:39] Alan Seales: Yes have you heard of it?

[29:47] Amber Ardolino: I have I have and people keep asking me to watch it and I'm I think tonight's the night actually.

[29:53] Amber Ardolino: Yeah I think I think tonight's the night for for you to watch it um it taps into um all this social media business and how I mean it's so prevalent now um in our society and in my jobs um even for commercial jobs I've been on asking to see my Instagram but um yeah modeling in general which is probably where you can why you can say you see a lot of skin on my profile is a lot of uh images through you know that but yes so modeling modeling calls I mean even having to write down your Instagram has been wild that that's even a thing.

[30:31] Alan Seales: Yeah and well it translates into Broadway and theater too because if you've got two people up for the same job that all things being equal except someone has 50,000 followers and someone has five who do you think they're gonna go with which is crazy that it's even that it should be talent right?

[30:49] Amber Ardolino: Well yeah yeah it should it should absolutely be talent but like you said that's not the world we're living in anymore which just more pressure it's pressure to maintain yeah because like in New York in general I guess why I respect it so much as opposed to like I mean not to shit on LA but this shit on LA a little bit because New York it's like for the longest time and now it's unfortunate because it it is starting to take that turn a little bit I see like bringing in stars to to keep shows open stunt casting stunt casting but yeah I mean I guess that's what I appreciate about New York for so long is because it is an industry where they are going with you know the person that is best for the job um so interesting that uh it's starting to kind of take a turn social media wise.

[31:39] Alan Seales: Well then okay so walk me through a little bit of the most recent timeline um god there's so much that I'm gonna talk about that I don't know if we'll have time for it's already 30 minutes in you were the youngest member of West Side the West Side Story Tour just want to put that out there uh you have tons of Hamilton on your resume so real quick do you feel like you're getting pigeonholed for Hamilton or are you how you moved beyond that a little bit?

[32:09] Amber Ardolino: Um Hamilton was such a a special part of my life I get I was in it for three years I don't think I've ever stayed with a show that long I'm usually like a one year and done type gal there aren't that many shows that are open for three years right um but Hamilton was so good to me and um that's why I felt like it was you know something that I could do to become a universal swing because I had started in the ensemble and you don't normally transition to being a swing once you're already in the ensemble and you have a track I just you know I'm nuts and I wanted more work to do um but yeah from for being someone in Hamilton there's very few of us in Hamilton that do well now there's obviously more but there were very few at the time that were able to do every track in the show um and to do tracks in other companies so to learn the New York show when I was in Chicago was a whole other spiel because it's actually it was actually different I was like oh cool I'm just going from Chicago to New York same thing no Hamilton is like one of the only shows that I know that looks at its cast and caters to the people's talents in that cast and um puts them in the correct positions accordingly so that like never happens so like woman four in our production of in Chicago had a lot of the uh bits and in the New York production it was woman three in the touring production it split up amongst all the women so there's different it was different it was a learning a whole new show essentially yeah so that kept my mind like I feel kept my mind going because I feel like for me a year is enough time to spend with a show because it's like okay great I've done what I needed to do with that I feel like I can move on I feel fulfilled and what I the work I did Hamilton was such a different beast because I was constantly learning new things so I never felt like I was resting with that show so that's I think why I spent so much time with Hamilton and you know if the book ever opens again with Hamilton I would love that but um yeah I'm I'm love new projects as well getting to do new things.

[34:51] Alan Seales: Do you get do you get like in general in life do you get bored easily sitting still?

[34:58] Amber Ardolino: Yeah I'm massive adb yes uh bingo on the nose yeah yeah absolutely.

[35:14] Alan Seales: What is it about about theater in general though that you think made you want to put all your eggs in that basket what made you want to stand on stage and in front of a room full of complete strangers and bare your soul?

[35:36] Amber Ardolino: Oh my gosh yeah literally that's exactly what you're doing right yeah if you're good yeah you have to and you it's opening up yourself to a bunch of people that get to openly just like willingly judge you what is it why do that right?

[36:03] Amber Ardolino: I don't know now you're saying it out loud I should just totally change my career right.

[36:09] Alan Seales: Which is okay so I have to say um answering that question from the youngest age I have never saw myself doing anything else and I truly believe that if I could see myself doing something else I would do it um but never once in my life did I doubt that I wanted to be in musical theater be performing do this it has been like my whole dream and I've never once doubted it until this pandemic.

[36:42] Amber Ardolino: I thought you were gonna say until 10 seconds ago until you just mentioned all those bad things no until this pandemic and what it was the first time in my life I ever sat like alone with my thoughts and was like why am I doing this do I want to keep doing this I could get a you know degree a certificate in an in uh interior design I could um teach dance at a studio to like special needs kids that's something I've always wanted to do sidebar do like um my not to get like too deep my sister has special needs um and I've worked with kids with special needs my entire life especially like after school um and it's always something I have uh felt as passionate about as being on Broadway so that is probably you know another avenue that I would take um there's avenues that this entire pandemic I've been like okay should I do this should I do that this is the first time I've ever doubted being in musical theater and being and continuing this process until my friend texted me randomly one day and she was like do you know you're nominated for theater choice awards for Broadway star to be the next decade?

[38:17] Amber Ardolino: That's right but it's like so silly it's so silly but just like hearing that and like yes it's like fans you know they pick the awards it's like it's not like a a Tony's do you know what I mean but like to hear that I was like nominated for that like totally just like whipped me out of that funk of like why was I ever.

[39:42] Alan Seales: You're not getting your fix. And then this Audience Choice Award comes in. You're like, oh, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And I was going to ask again, I was like, but why, but why, but why? And when you said, like, I don't know. Obviously, this is the first I've heard about your sister, but I assumed then that she needed more attention than normal when you both were children.

[40:12] Amber Ardolino: Yeah.

[40:13] Alan Seales: Which probably left you feeling a little lonely, maybe. And so now, as an adult, you're making up for that by standing on stage and getting all this validation and all this attention.

[40:28] Amber Ardolino: You know, I actually never did think of it like that. My, you know, my sister did require a lot of attention. And I think, like, it was just second nature to just be there for that. But yeah, also, like, at the same time, kind of getting my, my fix of what I, maybe, yeah, never did look at it like that. But, um, interesting to, to think about, like, the psyche of it all, right?

[40:55] Alan Seales: Right.

[40:58] Amber Ardolino: I cracked the code.

[40:59] Alan Seales: I'm angry.

[41:01] Amber Ardolino: No, I love this stuff. I absolutely love it. And, and, like, I really appreciate you getting so honest, because that's, I mean, that's where I want to go. Let's have these authentic conversations. And it's, it's always interesting to me why, why people get into this, because this, I mean, this business in general, because it's one of, one of the hardest things to do. And even when you're working and you're successful, you're still looking for your next job. You don't know when your paycheck is going to dry up, you could be in a successful show, like Beetlejuice that then gets bought out and gets shoved out of your home, right? Like, yeah, the business, things happen. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, so hopefully Moulin Rouge is going to be around forever.

Like, that seems like a show that's not going to go anywhere. Fingers crossed. But you've also like the side projects and stuff that you've either done. So tell me, tell me about Within Earshot. I mentioned it in your bio when I introduced you, but tell me what it is for those who don't know.

[41:59] Amber Ardolino: Within Earshot was a show that was starting to get into the works. And then, you know, the pandemic hit. But what was nice is before, you know, all of this happened was we just dropped an EP. So the music is written and composed by Jackson Teely. It is his concept album. And the EP is on Spotify. You can listen to it there. I'm not sure where else you can. Spotify, I know for sure. But it gives you a glimpse of all these different songs. It's called the Anthems of the Inbetween. And it's essentially love stories. And it's about platonic love and like sexual love and LGBTQ love and all these different avenues of love from different people, different genders. And it's love stories. And it takes place in a coffee shop.

My song that I sing is a song called End Up Together. I sing it with Bonnie Milligan. And it is a song about us and how we were in love. We had a relationship. And, you know, we broke up, had some time apart. And then we see each other in a coffee shop one day, which happens in New York. I can't tell you how many exes I've ran into. It's never fun. But it happens. And I think that's the coolest thing about Within Earshot is it's just like it's so normal. It's like a really cool show. So it's in the works right now. They're still constructing it. They're still getting it going. But yeah, that's where we left off with it last. And it was cool to do a show starting from the ground up. I've never been a part of a process like that before.

This is my first time actually, one, playing a lead and two, getting to create with the creatives. So yeah, it was awesome. It's a really cool show. I think it'll be really great. I didn't realize it was in the makings of being a show. I thought it was just like an album that someone was putting together of great songs with great people. So now, yeah, I actually want to see the whole thing now and read the story. This sounds really good. I think it's gonna be cool. And it's gonna it's immersive. It's what's if they want to have like a coffee shop, like you are walking into a coffee shop. You can like take your order. Like, we'll bring your order to you as we sing. It's gonna be like a whole thing.

So yeah, I mean, it's Jackson Tilly. It's gonna be great. And I'm excited about it. So there are plans, I guess for it when when the pandemic is under control. I don't know if it will ever be over. But once we're under control, and things open, yeah, we're gonna pick it up again. Yeah, hopefully we can start working together again. It is so wild that like we really we can't it's hard to create. I just did like a zoom workshop my first time doing like a zoom musical online. And it's interesting. It's just like a really it we're not meant to work like this artists format, we have to touch each other, we have to be in the same room with each other. We need that energy that you just can't really get over a computer screen.

So hopefully, you know, we get back to that eventually. So we will. I mean, it's an industry that's gonna just got to change. I mean, there's the health, there's the health aspect of all of it. And there's the diversity and representation and racial equity part of all of it as well. I mean, there's so much happening. So much happening this year. This year is a complete shit show.

[45:58] Amber Ardolino: But and do you know what I feel like a shit show in the best way because it's causing people to wake up and it's causing people to realize like, Broadway has been sleeping on these issues for far too long. And to be able to have people in a in a state of mind like this feel comfortable enough to finally express like the bullshit that that they've gone through and then taking the steps to fix it. Thank God that this is happening now. You know, like, I don't this has never happened. This has never been a thing.

[46:35] Alan Seales: Well, yeah, it's it's really interesting to me as as a white male, because I don't, I don't experience and have not experienced most of what I realized now in my 30s that a lot of people have experienced and never spoken up about.

[46:58] Amber Ardolino: Sure, absolutely.

[47:00] Alan Seales: And it, you know, and so there's guilt about that. But then there's guilt about feeling guilty, but then I shouldn't feel guilty, I should feel grateful. And it gets it's all over the place.

[47:11] Amber Ardolino: I think I think that what we speaking up and using our voices and being there for others, this, this whole, I mean, my eyes have, it's this whole experience, this has opened my eyes to like, empathy for other humans and cancel culture, and being, being there for others that like, don't feel like they can, or be that be there for themselves or like speak up or feel like they're being heard, like, to have that privilege that we can now like use to benefit others. I mean, yeah, there's, we're just at the beginning of this problem. And, you know, I think with time, we can get to where we need to be.

[48:03] Alan Seales: I agree. I agree. So real quick, before before we wrap up here, I promised that I would ask about one specific Instagram post earlier. And it is, it was, I think, early January 2020. And the caption said, Instagram is a fraud. It always has been a while ago, Tyler gustin. Tyler gustin asked, gustin asked me if I wanted to do a shoot together. And I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. Then I realized I wanted to do a strip down, feel good shoot that made me feel sexy, made me feel sexy AF queen. Because that is truly the last thing I've been feeling like lately, I left the shoot feeling so liberated, we blasted Lizzo, regained some confidence in myself that I had lost. So if anyone's in a funk, I highly recommend throwing on your favorite undies, dancing around a stranger's living room.

[49:53] Amber Ardolino: Yes, I know this post very well, I was nervous to post it. And, you know, I did. And I, I got a lot of love that day, I didn't expect to get. I was like, I was in a point in my life where I was losing a lot of relationships, I was not doing well with my family, I felt family is everything to me, my relationships with my friends and people I love are everything to me. And when that is stripped away, I just felt depressed. And I'm a very positive person. I'm always I mean, as we talked about my swing, I'm very go with the flow. I've always been like, you know, it's not a big deal. It's not it's this I, I never took time to process emotions for myself. Because I was constantly putting on this facade of everything's great, everything's positive, I'm happy, I'm fine.

And it took hitting a point of being like, okay, I'm actually I'm not fine. I have depression. I have anxiety, which is something I never what I just like, in my brain, because I was always a person that was like, oh, no, that's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. I didn't believe that I could have anxiety. I didn't believe it was like real, which is crazy to think of now. But I just didn't think it was real that I could have it. Like I was like a superhuman. And to, to hit the moment where I was like, okay, maybe I need help. And to get with a therapist and check in with my mental health. And I've been on the road since I was 18. I've been back to job, job, job, job to constantly working to like never getting a moment to pause and reflect on all the things that have like caused me grief and caused me sadness in my life.

I was just bombarding them with like, positivity and not, you know, giving myself time to heal from things that have happened. But I hit that moment. I sat in it for a minute. It's scary. Oh, it's scary to sit in it to sit in that feeling of like, depression that just it just takes over you. It's something like you just feel like you've got a lump in your throat. And I was sitting with it. And I was I had a minute where I was like, playing.

[52:35] Amber Ardolino: I feel good. And we ended up like, I got to his apartment at like noon. And we shot all day. Like we just like ordered a pizza, blasted music. And like, we just did like a photo shoot. It was like something out of like a movie where we just had such a blast. And like, it was so good to be in a spot where I like was smiling and like feeling good about myself again. And like, it was real. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't a facade that I was putting on and that facade was shed through Instagram as like, you know, usually is. I've seen people at their absolute lows that I know are at their absolute lows post a throwback Thursday on a beach in Cabo. Like, you know, it's this facade. It is. It was difficult.

But you know, now, I feel like, and not to go back to social media, but kind of, I feel like I'm in a place that like, I'm not gonna lie about that stuff anymore. And if I'm having a shit day, I'm gonna let it be known I'm having a shit day. Like suicide prevention day was just a week ago. And like, I wanted to throw something over my story about that is because I feel like people in this business, especially in this pandemic, like, you know, we think our life is all glitz and glam and Broadway and dancing on stage and having a blast. And like, you know, we have our shitty moments, too. And I, I've had a lot this year. And I'm happy to share that like, I'm a human and it happens.

[54:21] Alan Seales: That's, that's the point. That's the point of communicating. And the point of these conversations exactly is, is to try to let people know they're not alone. Like, you're not you're not you're not alone. Yeah, no matter what, right. There's always there's always someone to call. There's always someone to turn to. There's helplines. If you don't have friends handy, there's all sorts of things. So yeah, as I have OCPD, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is different from OCD. So it's, it's like, can't see the forest through the trees. So like I hyper focus on small details, and then like, can't move beyond them sometimes. And so realizing that in myself, and why that was causing my own depression and anxiety, which, you know, you want to throw it back to like, what you said is something resonated with me is like, just putting on this face, like everything's fine.

Because that's what I was told to do as a kid. That's what I was taught to do all through my life, which is be like, are you you're good, you're good, just move past it. Don't talk about it, don't acknowledge it, just move past it. Right. And that's not healthy, it's not healthy at all. And the scariest thing, and I interrupted you, I apologize about that. But I interrupted you. And you're like, you were sitting in it. That was one of the scariest things that I've had to do, too. It's just like when I'm feeling bad, instead of being like, no, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. I was gonna go do something to get rid of it. And be like, Nope, you know what, I just need to sit with this for a second. And it's really scary.

[55:45] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, it is scary. I mean, it's, it's like the saying, you know, it's okay not to be okay. And I know it's cliche, but like, sometimes it just it takes more than a couple days to to get back to a spot where you do feel like you're okay, and you're gonna be fine, but that's okay. You know, it's okay.

[56:10] Alan Seales: What's interesting, and it just occurred to me, I didn't even realize this until just now that I used to do a lot of regional theater. And I would, on every new contract, I would feel so alone and so lonely. And I just, I would question this every single time. Like, same thing. I was like, why am I doing this? I just want to sit in one place. I just want to be fine. And then as soon as you know, like a couple days into rehearsal, you start making friends. And you're like, Oh, this is why this is good. This is good. And then I could never remember from the previous time that that feeling goes away. And I didn't know how to sit in that feeling and be okay with it. It's like we need the human human validation more than we think we need.

[56:56] Amber Ardolino: Oh, yeah. No, I just like someone that someone just touched me, someone hugged me, someone tell me that like, I deserve to be here. Right. And I think being in this pandemic. Yes, you're right. You can't do that. Being in this pandemic, you are forced to be by yourself. And it's taught me that like, nothing like it doesn't really matter. Like, do you mean that what matters? Nothing matters out in out in this world right now. Besides like, when you are forced to be alone with yourself, like you're all you have at the end of the day. And you are what matters most. And you need to take care of yourself. Because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't give yourself that opportunity to be with others and want to and take care of others because you're not even okay with taking care of yourself. I'm a I'm a fixer. I'm a helper.

[57:52] Alan Seales: I totally right. Me too. Yeah, I see a problem. And I'm like, Hey, let me play your therapist. I'll help you. I'll help you do this. I'll help you that I was playing therapist to so many friends. I wasn't I wasn't taking myself to a therapist. I mean, and now that it's taken a minute for me to realize that but you know, now that I do, there's only the only way to go is up from here and you know, I'm out on the other side of it.

[58:18] Amber Ardolino: Good. Well, I'm happy to hear that. I mean, I haven't met you before this interview. I'm glad I have met you. Now. I think you're a wonderful person. And I genuinely care about your well being. I'm so happy. I'm so happy to hear that you're that you're that you're on the upswing.

[58:39] Alan Seales: Yeah, no, I definitely have. Yeah, it's all it was all meant to happen. You know what I mean? I was meant to. We're all meant to get hit in the face sometimes. So then we can realize like, oh, I just got hit in the face. I need to take care of that. You know, and it's, again, to your point, it's not what you're posting on Instagram, it could be so many things that people don't know about because this was like you posted about it, you know, January, which means that you're going through it as you were opening Moulin Rouge the end of 2019. So like, things are in theory, publicly going very well, you've got this great job in this great cast in this amazing show. And yet, privately, you're suffering more than you ever had before.

[59:21] Amber Ardolino: Well, actually, what is even more hysterical and like, I don't really need to get into it. But the night before my Sateen debut was probably one of the hardest nights in my life.

[59:31] Alan Seales: Really? Yeah.

[59:35] Amber Ardolino: A lot going on. And I like, hit a point that night where I was just everything hit me and I had a really rough night and didn't sleep the entire night before my Sateen debut. Got to the theater, eyes puffed, puffy from like sobbing, threw on a lash and then made my Sateen debut. So all that to say, you can truly have one of like the worst, you know, experiences nights of your life and then go on and have one of the best moments of your life. All in 24 hours.

[1:00:24] Alan Seales: Life is about rhythm and cycle.

[1:00:29] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, yeah. And to be fair, social media doesn't see the that I like spent the whole day before my Sateen debut crying. They saw that like I made my Sateen debut and it was so much fun. And I got to like wear a sparkly outfit for all day and like sing my heart out. So, you know, that's what I that's what I mean is like, you know, we need to take everything with a grain of salt and like people are humans because, you know, you can have moments, the lows of lows and the highs of highs. And that's just that's life, baby.

[1:01:03] Alan Seales: All right. All right. All right. So we'll wrap up this episode here with the three standard closing questions that I ask everybody here on the podcast. The first one, very simply, is what motivates you?

[1:01:12] Amber Ardolino: Oh, no, I like being prepared. Okay, what motivates me? My friends motivate me. My mom motivates me. She has always been my biggest cheerleader. And I think she's a good motivator of why I do what I do and the things that I've done. Except showing too much skin on Instagram.

[1:01:37] Alan Seales: Except Instagram, yeah.

[1:01:43] Amber Ardolino: Incredible. I bet she cannot wait to hear this episode, because I'm going to call her and be like, Mom, he yelled at me.

[1:01:54] Alan Seales: I didn't yell. I merely inquired. I'm just inquiring minds want to know. Okay. Second question is then what advice would you give to your younger self and younger people listening now starting out down a similar path?

[1:02:03] Amber Ardolino: Something I would tell my younger self is keep not taking life too seriously. You're nailing it. And these high school bitches don't matter. I didn't have a great high school experience. So I would tell myself to like keep your chin up, baby girl, because like, it gets better, you know?

[1:02:32] Alan Seales: Oh, man, I feel like we need to do a part two at some point. That's all about high school, bullying, and, and, and family relationships.

[1:02:41] Amber Ardolino: Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, I'll see you. I'll see you next week.

[1:02:45] Alan Seales: Okay, so the final question, hardest one, if you can only see one show for the rest of your life, but you can see it as many times as you want, what would you see?

[1:02:49] Amber Ardolino: Oh, one show as many times as I want. Oh, I'm in the heights. Totally.

[1:03:01] Alan Seales: Nice. Nice. Nice. Okay. Where can we find you online? Now that we've talked about social so much, where can everyone check you out?

[1:03:10] Amber Ardolino: You can find me on amber artelino on Instagram. Amber artelino 93 on Tik Tok. And amber artelino on Twitter. But you should watch the social dilemma first before you follow me on these apps. Because maybe you'll rethink what you do in social media. You can find me if you want to talk if you want to say hi.

[1:03:41] Alan Seales: Sweet. All right. You can find more of me at the theater podcast.com. Show your support at the theater podcast.com slash Patreon. I'm on Instagram and Twitter at theater underscore podcast. I haven't touched Tik Tok. Don't know if I will. For all you parents out there, I'm on facebook.com slash official theater podcast. Please leave a rating and a review. Please spread the word. Tell your friends. And thank you to jukebox the ghost for the intro and the outro music in amber. Thank you most of all. Thank you. Thank you for being your best self today. I love the goofy. I love everything. It's incredible.

[1:04:19] Amber Ardolino: Be more be more goofy on Instagram. That's my.

[1:04:22] Alan Seales: Maybe I'll do that. Thanks for telling me that. Take a deep breath, make the world a little colorful.