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[0:00] Mike Abrams: Welcome to The Wrong Cat Died, the podcast breakdown of The Cat's Tastrophe. Today, we're covering the Jellicle Patriarch, Old Deuteronomy. Cue the intro music.

[0:11] Mike Abrams: There's a cat over here. There's a cat over there. And the wrong one died. And the wrong one died.

[0:18] Mike Abrams: Since this is my first cat breakdown, let me run through the plan for the episode. I'll explain about how we meet this cat in the show, what their song and dance tells us about them, I'll give you some parallels to who they resemble in pop culture, we're going to dig through some crazy online rumors, I'll tell you what's different in the T.S. Eliot book, and then I'm going to share some of my favorite YouTube comments from the video. Finally, I'll give you an argument on why this cat is more deserving to die than Grizabella. I'll give you a slight counter argument, then I'll make a final rating on a scale of 1 to 9 cat lives. Alright, let's jump right in and talk about Old Deuteronomy. I am going to get tired of singing and saying Old Deuteronomy, so we're going to call him O.D. from the rest of this episode.

[1:07] Mike Abrams: We get introduced to O.D. after the first ballet dance number by some insignificant cat. O.D. is probably the closest thing we get to an early plotline in this musical. He's introduced as the Jellicle Patriarch and the ultimate decision maker. He decides which one of the cats will be reborn into a new life in the Heaviside Layer at the end of the play. He's described as being wise, and he's respected and beloved by most all of the tribe. He's definitely old, but he dances around an awful lot for someone his size, and even though he's big, he's not mocked for a size like Bustopher Jones, who we'll discuss in a future episode. He probably isn't mocked because he's the ultimate decision maker. No fat shaming, Mr. O.D.

[1:43] Mike Abrams: O.D. seems to be loved by all cats, and I can't tell if this is because he's the judge and jury for the Death Squad or if it's because of the crazy rumors which we'll get to later. He's definitely the father of a bunch of these kittens and friends with the rest. He might even be lovers with others. Either way, O.D.'s loved by all. And my personal favorite part is during the Broadway revival, during intermission, he just sat up on stage and took selfies with fans. I have no idea why, but it was one of the best side notes of this bizarre show. Let's dig into T.S. Eliot's poems, because there's definitely a couple pieces from the book that aren't included in the song.

[2:17] Mike Abrams: Although it's confirmed that O.D. is old and wise, he seems to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. In the poem, O.D. falls asleep on High Street, and the villagers have to put up road close signs so that he's not disturbed. The landlady forces people to go through the back door as to not disturb him and even threatens to call the police if there's an uproar. WTF, O.D.? Why does the town need to rearrange their lives to let you sleep? Can you imagine being stuck in traffic and the traffic cop goes, oh yeah, good old Old Deuteronomy fell asleep on High Street again. You're gonna have to go around. Come on, O.D. Find a low traffic place to sleep.

[3:36] Mike Abrams: There are two other lines in the book that jump out that I really don't know how to interpret. The first line, so that nothing untoward may chance to disturb Deuteronomy's rest when he feels so disposed or when he's engaged in domestic economy. First off, you'll notice none of these lines rhyme. But really, what the hell does this cat have to do with the economy? Cats the Musical has grossed over $3.5 billion as of 2012, so maybe he's influencing the economy? The second quote, just as weird. The digestive repose of that feline's gastronomy must never be broken, whatever befall. Wait, what? Is O.D. gassy? What's this whole line about? Do we need to get him better cat food? I have questions, T.S. We need answers.

[4:36] Mike Abrams: This is definitely going to be my favorite section of each episode. It's where I'm going to find you parallels to pop culture characters or real people of who this cat reminds me of. So I have five for Mr. O.D. Let's start with the easiest one. The easiest one's definitely Simon Cowell. Simon produces and judges nearly every competition show globally and is the core person who we think of when we're making a final decision. Whether it's America's Got Talent or The X Factor, let's be honest, Simon's calling all the shots. Just like Mr. O.D. Simon isn't quite loved by everyone, but I'd consider him wise beyond his years.

[5:13] Mike Abrams: Number two. Doesn't O.D. have a little bit of Dumbledore in him? Dumbledore is the Hogwarts patriarch and seems to be a total decision maker for all non-muggles. He has a slightly incestuous relationship with Harry Potter that feels a little bit like O.D. and Grizabella. He definitely has a ton of power in his love by all, so this one seems like really strong parallels. Number three. What about Santa? Jolly good fellow, isn't fat shamed, loved by all, decides who gets the reward for a subsection of the population, and also they kind of look alike, right? Number four. Easy one. Mufasa from The Lion King. Proud dad guiding his kingdom early, plus it's really just a different Broadway cat. Last one, and you're gonna have to stick with me here.

It's a little bit of a stretch. O.D. reminds me a little of Carl Winslow from Family Matters. Remember Carl, the cop? Carl's a little portly, seems to be the dad for not only his two kids but also for Urkel and Waldo. He's basically a dad for his nephew Richie and adopts 3J in a later season. He's taking care of everyone on the show. Each episode has a different person barging into his house and making a scene, just like every cat jumps on stage and makes their entrance. Carl's the one constant sitting on the couch, just like O.D. sat there in the back taking it all in. Towards the end of the show, Carl ends up blessing the main character to date his daughter, just like O.D. blesses Grizabella to die.

[6:52] Mike Abrams: The internet rumor mill is wild for cats. I don't know if you believe me, and if you want to go out there and get down a very deep dark hole, start searching about Cats the Musical. There are some extremely strange rumors about each and every one of these cats, so let's look at what I found about O.D. It appears that O.D. has some degree of psychic powers which he uses to guide the other Jellicles through song and dance. I'm not sure I'd buy this one, because it seems a little hard to believe that that'd be the case. If he is, isn't he just picking the favorite of his own work at that point? That seems a little far-fetched, even for this play, which is just a musical about cats.

[7:43] Mike Abrams: Rumor two, Old Deuteronomy has had many wives, and consequently many children. It's suggested that pretty much all of the cats are related to him in one way or the other, so there's further proof of this. It was confirmed by a UK production that O.D. is the father to both Monkish Trap and Rum Tum Tugger. There's also speculation that Macavity is also his son and brother to Monkish Trap and Rum Tum Tugger. Now, these rumors make a ton of sense. His song talks about the 99 wives, so you know O.D. is fathering these kittens all over the Jellicle land. It only makes sense that the majority of the cats in this show are his. My only gripe with this rumor is that it seems rough to imagine a father choosing one of his cats to die.

Even though it's a positive, he's now picking his favorite child to reward, which seems a little biblical. It also transitions nicely into my favorite rumor about O.D. There's a rumor that O.D. and Grizabella might have been lovers. What? Can you imagine? This is the most Hollywood writing I've ever heard. If you want to win in the end, you have to sleep with the judge. Mr. Lloyd Webber, you're better than this trope.

[8:52] Mike Abrams: The last rumor, and I'll be honest, I don't know a single thing about astrology, but I found the sign for each cat. An Old Deuteronomy is an Aquarius. I don't know what that means, but if you're big into that type of thing, I've got you covered. Favorite YouTube comments. There's definitely a few, so here are my favorite three. Musicismylife said, Why do I have a feeling that Rum Tug Tugger and Old Deuteronomy have a relationship where they constantly give each other hell, but still have mad respect for each other? You know what, Musicismylife, I agree with you. I don't get it, but I kind of feel that way too. Please Romano says, OMG, Mungo's face at 340 is like, yo bro, you so rad? Lizzy T said, Meanwhile, I'm struggling to get some kittens to use the litter box, let alone sing. Amen, Lizzy T.

[9:00] Mike Abrams: So why does O.D. get my vote over Grizabella? So first off, I'm not really sure of the rules of the cat's universe. Are there rules in the cat's universe? I can't tell if O.D. is actually even eligible to die, but that's not going to stop me from making my case. O.D. is the OG of cats. According to his song, he's lived a long life. He's rumored to be famous in proverb and in rhyme. The village loves him, they're proud of him, and if you watch the YouTube video, you can tell that they got his back. The poem even implies that he dictates local economy. I mean, come on, he's influencing the GDP. He's basically the dad of every cat, and whichever one he hasn't fathered, it's rumored he's slept with them.

He's corpulent, but he's not fat-shamed because he's loved by all. Plus, if Grizabella really did sleep with him, it feels very sugar daddy-esque, which means that she's definitely waiting for him to die before her, not the other way around. Quick counter-argument, O.D. might not actually be allowed to die. He could be on his final life, which means that if he died, he'd just die, and if that's the case, Grizabella might be more worthy. So on a scale of one to nine cat lives, I give O.D. 2.5 cats, because besides his wild rumor mill, he's only slightly more worthy than Grizabella.

[9:04] Mike Abrams: Thanks for listening to episode one about Old Deuteronomy on The Wrong Cat Died, a podcast breakdown of The Cat's Tastrophe. To follow along, you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts, follow us on Instagram and Twitter at TheWrongCatDied, or check out our website, thewrongcatdied.com.