This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:30] Patrick Oliver Jones: As with most episodes of this podcast, today's interview actually happened two months ago, and I've been looking forward to finally sharing this conversation with Meredith Aleigha Wells. She's an actor and singer who discovered her love and talent for dancing only after she started using a wheelchair.

[1:35] Patrick Oliver Jones: Well, here we are at the end of October, and as I mentioned, today's interview actually took place back in August. Meredith was in Cleveland at the time, which has pretty much been her base of operations, so to speak, since 2017.

[1:51] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So when I graduated from UMass Amherst, I moved to Cleveland for about two years, and I was dancing in a physically integrated company here in Cleveland.

[2:04] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And at the end of two years is when I kind of started jumping around a bit more. And I definitely get a lot of work here, so I come back pretty often. But it makes sense. So yeah, I was in Portland all last summer, and I went to Beijing, and so I've been here and there and everywhere these days, which has been exciting.

[2:25] Patrick Oliver Jones: But like most of us, COVID has sidelined her performing career and brought on its own complications.

[2:32] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Even right now, in quarantine and all this stuff, like my goal at the time is just to make sure that I am taking care of myself in the best way that I can to minimize my symptoms affecting my work.

[2:51] Patrick Oliver Jones: And that brings me to the reason for such a long gap between our initial interview and the release of this episode. It was actually a suggestion from Meredith to wait and have our conversation be a part of Dysautonomia Awareness Month.

[3:08] Patrick Oliver Jones: Now I know you're probably saying, what was that? And to be honest, I hadn't heard of dysautonomia either until I met and talked with Meredith. It's basically an umbrella term for a range of medical conditions that affect our autonomic functions.

[3:24] Patrick Oliver Jones: In other words, those bodily functions that happen automatically, like a heartbeat or temperature control. And today, Meredith will talk about her particular condition and how it has affected her as a performer.

[3:36] Patrick Oliver Jones: But one interesting thing happened as I was editing this episode and doing more research. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with a particular heart irregularity, and as it turns out, that condition falls under dysautonomia.

[3:52] Patrick Oliver Jones: I experienced what's called cardiac syncope and vasovagal syncope. You had no idea when you started listening today that this was going to be a medical episode.

[4:03] Patrick Oliver Jones: Well, syncope is basically a fancy word for fainting. And the fainting that I've experienced is due to both cardiac or heart-related issues as well as vasovagal, which basically means stressful or traumatic triggers that cause a sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure, leading to fainting.

[4:25] Patrick Oliver Jones: So I say all of this to say that Meredith and I share dysautonomia in common. However, her condition is very different from mine and comes with its own array of symptoms, and we'll be going into more detail about that.

[4:41] Patrick Oliver Jones: Something else we share in common is actually common among most performers: an attraction to and a desire to be on stage from a very young age. My first musical was Fiddler on the Roof back in the ninth grade.

[5:00] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So I started theater in the seventh grade.

[5:15] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I mean, I had never sung in front of people. I was so nervous. I'm pretty sure I sang the song at like three times the tempo. And then the next year I came back and then somehow landed the lead in the middle school musical.

[5:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And my mom was kind of shocked. I don't think she actually thought I was going to get it when I told her that, you know, I got a callback. And she was like, what for? I was like, Annie, duh, because that was me as a little kid.

[5:41] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And yeah, so I was in that production in middle school and just got bit by the bug. And you know, I quickly after that was like, I want to do this for a living. I want to perform for the rest of my life. Like, that's what I want to do when I grow up.

[5:58] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And everyone, you know, when you're a kid, they're like, oh, that's great. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And, you know, I think especially at that age, people expect you to grow out of that. And I just never grew out of saying that.

[6:15] Patrick Oliver Jones: You're starting, you're still that Annie, just looking for the next tomorrow.

[6:19] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, especially these days. So then you specifically chose a college with theater and that kind of training in mind.

[6:28] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah. Um, so I decided, you know, when it came that time in high school that I was going to pursue a college degree, and ended up deciding on UMass Amherst.

[6:39] Patrick Oliver Jones: The University of Massachusetts Amherst actually has a long line of notable graduates from the world of sports. There's Julius Erving, the Hall of Fame basketball player known as Dr. J with the Philadelphia 76ers.

[6:53] Patrick Oliver Jones: And from the world of entertainment, the list of graduates includes Michael Haley, famed producer of the HBO miniseries Angels in America. And there's also singer Natalie Cole and actor Richard Gere.

[7:06] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So I majored in theater and was following in the footsteps of other talented individuals. But as so often happens, once we start planning and looking forward to the future, life has other ideas.

[7:28] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So, you know, I'm doing it for real. We're really going for it. And then a month into pursuing the degree, I just start getting super dizzy all the time and lightheaded and nearly passing out, and I just didn't know what was wrong.

[7:44] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And you know, other things started kind of cropping up, like just digestive issues and things like that. And it was a really scary time before I had a diagnosis because I didn't know what was wrong.

[7:51] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I didn't know what the path ahead was going to be, and there was a lot of questioning whether or not I was going to be able to pursue this path. Um, and around right before my sophomore year of college, I started using a wheelchair, and around that same time I got my diagnosis of POTS, which stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.

[8:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um, very long, yeah.

[8:32] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah. I've had lots of practice saying it at this point, though, so that's good. And um, it's a form of dysautonomia or autonomic dysfunction.

[8:40] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So essentially everything that's affected by your autonomic nervous system that you don't think about can be affected. Now there are about 15 different types of dysautonomia. Mine is the most common, whereas my condition affects about one to three million people worldwide.

[8:59] Patrick Oliver Jones: So what exactly is POTS? Here's Mayo Clinic physician Philip Fischer to explain it a little more.

[9:07] Philip Fischer: For patients, POTS is feeling tired, not having much energy, not being able to live a normal life. For physicians, it's POTS, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Tachycardia means fast heart.

[9:21] Philip Fischer: One of the signs of this condition is when somebody changes their posture, their position from lying down to standing up, the heart beats excessively fast. That's the postural orthostatic tachycardia.

[9:31] Philip Fischer: The S of POTS is the syndrome. It's the collection of symptoms, including dizziness, headache, fatigue, tummy upset that gets people down.

[9:40] Philip Fischer: So POTS is a condition that makes people feel tired, makes them feel run down, often dizzy and very uncomfortable with headaches or tummy aches.

[9:49] Philip Fischer: Anybody can be affected, but there seem to be two kinds. There's the adult kind of POTS, which affects mostly women between age 30 and age 50. And then what I see as a pediatrician, it affects teenagers.

[10:01] Philip Fischer: Majority are girls, but it can be girls or boys. And they're what parents would think are the ideal children, high achieving, hardworking, thriving in life, and then they get sick.

[10:11] Philip Fischer: But instead of bouncing back from it, then it tips their involuntary nervous system out of balance, and they're left tired and run down. Their blood flow is disturbed, so they can't get the blood going to the right place at the right time.

[10:23] Philip Fischer: So they stand up and feel dizzy. They can't move their food through their intestines well, and they feel run down and uncomfortable.

[10:31] Patrick Oliver Jones: As Dr. Fischer mentioned, POTS is a syndrome, covering a whole host of symptoms that can be different for each individual.

[10:39] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, yeah.

[10:40] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So heart rate, blood pressure, um, breathing, digestive system, even simpler things like your pupils dilating. Um, seems so silly, but you know, my friends will always joke about how, you know, I go outside and I just like can't see.

[10:55] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I'm just like Velma without her glasses for a few seconds.

[10:59] Patrick Oliver Jones: Oh my goodness.

[11:01] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So freshman year is when you start to have these symptoms.

[11:04] Patrick Oliver Jones: Don't really know what it is, but it isn't until your sophomore year that you actually get the diagnosis specifically.

[11:09] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, I got the diagnosis right before my sophomore year. And that it was good to have clarity as to what was happening.

[11:15] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um, but with dysautonomia, there's also, you know, different prognosis depending on what the cause of your POTS is, and because it's a syndrome, and I don't know the cause of my POTS still to this day.

[11:31] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So I don't really know what the prognosis is. And because of that, I was very nervous to get into or continue the path of performing. I wasn't sure if I was physically going to be capable of doing that.

[11:43] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And I tried really hard right after my diagnosis to, you know, really get into things where my disability didn't affect it as much, at least like it felt that way, you know, like being in the costume shop more.

[11:56] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I was taking directing classes. I was really trying to find a facet of theater where like what I looked like and like my type and all that kind of stuff just didn't matter. But I felt like the more I went in that direction, the more I just felt called to perform. And I kind of just had to make a decision at that point to be like, I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I know that if I don't do this, I'm gonna be very unhappy for the rest of my life. And I'm always gonna wonder what if. So I just like I have to. Like I just, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that like this is what I have to do. This is what I want to do. And I really just can't let other people's expectations of what I can can and can't do with this disability stop me from doing that because that's just listening to everyone else, and I'd be really unhappy.

[12:48] Patrick Oliver Jones: But I would assume that it was at least a joint effort as far as with your doctors, obviously parents and that kind of supportive group to figure out how this path can happen.

[13:04] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So every contract I have is always important. And I feel like as time has gone on, it's gotten better and better, thankfully. Um, as far as management goes, the, you know, I I'm still sick. I'm still chronically ill. It's chronic, it's not going away. Um, you know, my parents were very supportive. Um, I think you know, they were nervous in the way that I was nervous. But I think when I made that decision, I had the confidence behind it, I think that they kind of followed suit. So I was really lucky to have that kind of support from them. At that time, obviously you can look back on it now, but at that time, what did that future look like? What kind of roles did you think you could do? How far did you think you could go in performing?

[13:49] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I mean, when I say I didn't know how, like there was no, I had no frame of reference really. Um, around the same time as when the first person in a wheelchair was on Broadway. So that was like the first time I was really seeing okay, this is possible, but you know, also our disabilities, like me and Ali Stroker's's disabilities are different. And um, so it, you know, it was really hard for me to say how far I thought I was gonna go. I think at that point I was still in an educational setting, so I was really just focused on doing the best I could in that educational setting, and you know, crossing that bridge when we got there. Like everything, especially pre-diagnosis was just one step at a time, and one just really having to live in the moment and really having to focus on what you can do each and every day, because you don't no one is guaranteed their health and the level and the of health that they have at this very moment and um the quality of life that they have tomorrow or next week or a year from now.

So I think it's important to just like focus on what we can do like every day and not you know get too far ahead of ourselves as far as like what we want to accomplish and where we think our career is gonna go. Because every time I think my career is going in one direction, I just like totally get hit with a detour, at least in my experience.

[15:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um, I was a theater major to begin with, but um after becoming disabled, I ended up, I mean, it's not because I because of my disability or like getting sick, but I had always done musical theater up until that point. I don't really really know why I decided to do theater um and not musical theater. But I realized that my my one true love was musical theater, and whether it's singing, dancing, and acting together or separately, like I really enjoy those three art forms and how they can intertwine.

[16:02] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I started out with a general education in theater, but eventually decided to do an individualized concentration in musical theater. I was grateful though for the broad range of subjects I learned. The degree in theater felt safer in a way because it was, you know, well-rounded, and you were learning about costume design and scenic design. There were options, and I feel proficient in a lot of things in theater now, which is great. I'm really grateful for those first two years in the program. Um, but I'm glad that I decided to take a more focused approach my last two years in school because I think it really paid off.

[16:40] Patrick Oliver Jones: Yeah, I mean, it's so important that not only in our general life we need to be well-rounded, but specifically within theater to know what this department's doing and that department's doing because we are just one of many cogs on a wheel, you know, making the whole thing run.

[16:54] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, I think um it's good to be well-rounded in that way, if nothing else now, as someone who mostly just performs and writes, just having that appreciation and understanding of all the work that's going into it, I think definitely is such a good thing to have as a performer. One of the greatest things about the performing arts is that it allows us to share stories and experiences with an audience. In her senior year, Meredith brought together all of the theatrical training and skills she learned to write her own one-woman show called Dysfunctioning Just Fine.

[17:31] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So the show is, you know, about my diagnosis journey and my in the parallel storyline of my first queer relationship. So when I was writing, I took into consideration the fact that I am the performer. And I didn't write anything into the show that I couldn't physically do. And also it's a one woman show. So the whole time I'm on stage. And at first I had an intermission. And then one of my professors, after seeing the premiere was like, You gotta get rid of that intermission. Like it's just it takes people out of it. And it's such a short show. Like, why do you have the intermission? I was like, because I physically can't do the whole thing on my own. Because it's just nonstop for um, you know, a little over an hour. And so we ended up um writing in um it's an intermission for me, but not the audience. Basically, like it gives me physically a little bit of a break about mid-show.

[18:30] Patrick Oliver Jones: Yeah. And I'm curious. I mean, obviously, these are these are two big issues in your life when you're illness and then you have this first relationship. What gave you the idea to put them both in the same show?

[18:43] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Uh so the story begins, and it was funny because my advisor on the piece at the time was like, is this real life? Or did you just make this up for dramatic effect? Referring to the line at the very beginning of the show where I say the first day that I started feeling the symptoms of this illness is the first day we started dating, which is true. And so that kind of set itself up for those parallel stories to be told. Um, and that relationship, um, I had a lot of support from that person as this was all going on. And it kind of, you know, I had someone to help me navigate during that time. And I really wanted to discuss the intersection of queer and disabled identities. And so I thought not just focusing on the diagnosis, but also focusing on the relationship that was happening throughout that diagnosis would be a good way to kind of bring that to light.

[19:45] Patrick Oliver Jones: Yeah, it's two sides of this personal journey that you were going on.

[19:50] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah. So we did the show for the first time. The premiere was in October for Dysautonomia Awareness Month back in 2016. And it did really well. So I that was really exciting. And then we ended up doing a remount with the new edits when we found out we were going to New York City at a different theater on campus the next semester. And then we did a small like school tour and did it in a few places. And it got into a festival called the My True Colors Festival in New York City, which was part of the New York City Pride Festival was a queer arts festival.

[20:38] Patrick Oliver Jones: Since you touched on it briefly, I'm curious since that first queer relationship that you had in college, how has that journey been for you? And I know it's it ran parallel to your initial diagnosis and your health journey. But since then, in a more general sense, has your sexuality been something that you've been able to embrace more as the years have gone on?

[21:00] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Oh, yeah, I think that something that was really nice about Dysfunctioning Just Fine, especially it being the very first professional gig that I ever did was the fact that it told my story as a disabled person and also told my story as a queer person, and it really you know, kind of just put it out there that I'm queer and I'm disabled, and you know, that's something that people know about me. Um I think is good going into it from a really authentic place and like living my truth. Um yeah, and I think I've definitely accepted that and embraced it more and more each and every day as time goes on.

[21:45] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Through the creation of a one-woman show, I was able to process and explore this personal and emotional discovery, as well as confront the realities I would face as a performer. As a disabled artist, you know, if I'm being realistic, gigs are not always like coming my way, you know. It's it's definitely it's it's a waiting game sometimes, and not everyone is super open to the idea always. And um that just is what it is. Not to say that, you know, disabled people can't be successful and do a lot of work. Um, you know, there's definitely lots of great disabled talent out there, you know, doing a lot of cool things. But for me, something that became really apparent is in my career, is that during those times I need to be able to have control over my own career.

And something that's helped me feel like I have control over my career is being able to create my own opportunities. And so Dysfunctioning Just Fine came out of a place where I you know, I had decided I'm going to pursue this path. I had made that decision, but not everyone was like, you know, on the train yet, right? And so I struggled a little bit in college right after becoming a wheelchair user. Um, not to say that all my professors were like this. I had wonderful, wonderful professors, but you know, there definitely was an interest in me in my work when I first started school.

[23:35] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And then as I started getting sicker, I noticed it kind of starting to drop off.

[23:41] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And so dysfunction just fine really came from a place of not being cast and being frustrated and being like, well, if no one's gonna cast me, I'm gonna cast me and I'm gonna make this show and I'm gonna make it happen.

[23:55] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Each production of Dysfunctioning Just Fine was well received, and with each performance, my confidence grew and the show got better.

[24:04] Meredith Aleigha Wells: But by the time I got to New York for the My True Colors Festival, I received the Purple Skies Playwright Award for my writing, which is remarkable considering I was fresh out of college and was barely beginning my professional career.

[24:20] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And so the first month out of graduation, I was all day, every day wearing three different hats in that production as the writer and the performer, and one of the co-producers of that, and just working nonstop every day.

[24:34] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um and then we performed that in New York, and then three days later, I moved to Ohio.

[24:42] Meredith Aleigha Wells: It was just, it was really post-graduation. The month after graduation was really a very whirlwind kind of time in my life.

[24:50] Meredith Aleigha Wells: My senior year in college not only led to the creation of Dysfunctioning Just Fine, but was also where I discovered a dance company that would provide a pivotal moment for me as an artist and specifically as a dancer.

[25:14] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And through that research, I had found Dancing Wheels.

[25:19] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And during my winter break, my senior year, I flew to Ohio and I auditioned and I got the job on the spot, and I came back second semester.

[25:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I already had a job in hand, and that was a really nice feeling.

[25:44] Meredith Aleigha Wells: The Dancing Wheels Company is a professional, physically integrated dance company.

[25:49] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So it's comprised of dancers with and without disabilities that are all training together and perform together.

[25:57] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Mary was born with Spina bifida and went on to become the first professional wheelchair dancer in the US.

[26:04] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Through her company, she wanted to offer others with disabilities an equal access to the world of dance.

[26:10] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Well, we look at um how they've trained in the past, if they've had training.

[26:16] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Many of them come from colleges, and so they're placed according to their experience level.

[26:23] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So they could be an apprentice, or they could be a full-fledged company member, or perhaps a student.

[26:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And so then they need the finer training of the technique in ballet and modern, and that's what they do.

[26:36] Meredith Aleigha Wells: They train every single day Monday through Friday.

[26:40] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Basically, being in that job at first was really difficult.

[26:44] Meredith Aleigha Wells: My body was not used to dancing four and a half hours a day, Monday through Friday, and you know, touring as much as I was.

[26:53] Meredith Aleigha Wells: We have um 50 to 70 performances a year worldwide.

[26:57] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So they're learning choreography, brand new choreography or restaged choreography every day.

[27:08] Meredith Aleigha Wells: But I think it's you know important to note that wheelchair users were not uh bound to our chair.

[27:14] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Like our chairs are a form of freedom, and the company in itself, um, and physically integrated dance as an art form, I should say really kind of exemplifies that and how it can be used for all sorts of different purposes and creative ways.

[27:33] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Society often uh disabled people through architectural barriers, and so you know, as the ADA, the Americans with Disabilities Act came about, uh, we started to eliminate some of those barriers, both the architectural and stereotypic views.

[27:50] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So that opened uh the depths and breadths of uh equality.

[27:59] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Starting off with a really physically demanding job of being in a dance company that really kind of set me up for success, and that was totally, you know, we were just talking about detours, that was such a detour.

[28:14] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I never expected to, you know, really pursue dance in that way.

[28:18] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Like I always just kind of considered myself a mover.

[28:20] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And I becoming more of a dancer really was something that came after becoming a wheelchair user, which I think is really interesting.

[28:29] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um, and not, you know, such a common path.

[28:33] Patrick Oliver Jones: Yeah.

[28:33] Patrick Oliver Jones: And you yourself sometimes need a wheelchair and sometimes don't. Is that correct?

[28:37] Meredith Aleigha Wells: It just depends on where you're at.

[28:39] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I assume your health goes kind of up and down in that respect.

[28:43] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, so um my health um and my symptoms, you know, vary day to day.

[28:49] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um I can walk for short periods of time, but um, if I go, you know, out to the grocery store to go clothing shopping, you know, when that is safe to do so and all that stuff.

[29:02] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um generally when I'm out of the house, I use my wheelchair unless it's like a really quick um something or something where I'm mostly going to be sitting, like going to a restaurant and it's close by and I won't have to walk there or anything.

[29:14] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I pretty much always use my wheelchair when I'm performing, um, just because at my worst, I can perform in my wheelchair, and I can't always perform standing, so it's just something that's more um consistent and um easier to manage.

[29:32] Patrick Oliver Jones: Before you got your diagnosis, then were there times where did you ever fall or collapse on stage?

[29:38] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Luckily, knock on wood. I have um it's only happened like during rehearsal.

[29:45] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I've never had it happen during a show, but I was collapsing a lot, and um using a wheelchair was kind of a matter of safety in the sense that I I, you know, was falling, risking like in concussions all the time.

[30:07] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Also, something that comes with my pots is just chronic fatigue.

[30:12] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And I'm able to conserve my energy using a wheelchair in a way that I no other treatment has really allowed me to.

[30:24] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So it's pretty much the only thing that I've been able to find that has helped me still be able to perform.

[30:32] Patrick Oliver Jones: You had mentioned about, you know, not everyone was on the same journey, the same supportive journey that you were on.

[30:38] Patrick Oliver Jones: And I assume that convincing casting and producers and those type of people of what you could do on stage was a hurdle for you at times.

[30:49] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, I think something that I loved about doing the physically integrated dance thing before I really started focusing on musical theater more of the time.

[31:02] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I still was doing musical theater when I worked for Dancing Wheels.

[31:05] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I would do like little gigs here and there.

[31:08] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I'd have, you know, rehearsal during the day for Dancing Wheels, and then I would have rehearsal for a musical at night.

[31:13] Meredith Aleigha Wells: It was just kind of fun being able to do it all.

[31:18] Meredith Aleigha Wells: You know, you definitely burn yourself out if you do it too long like that.

[31:22] Meredith Aleigha Wells: But after I did a lot of those gigs with them, it was on my resume.

[31:27] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I started including more dance stuff on my resume.

[31:30] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And I think one of the hardest things auditioning for musicals in a wheelchair is that most people have this idea that people in wheelchairs can't dance.

[31:42] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So, as lovely as I might sing in an audition, there's still that notion, like, oh, well, how is she going to do the dancing?

[31:51] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And they think that I'm maybe only going for a lead and I wouldn't take an ensemble role because I can't dance, quote unquote, or something like that.

[31:59] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And really, the thing that helped me the most was just when I did get cast in shows, just working hard and you know, kind of proving that people in wheelchairs can dance and just doing the best that I can, kind of like how I said in that educational setting, you know, just taking every gig one gig at a time and just doing the best you can in that gig because you know, when it comes to the next one, you've kind of started to prove yourself in um, you know, I was starting to prove myself in Cleveland that like, oh, like, yeah, she's done this show, she's worked at this theater.

[32:39] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Like, well, if she can, she obviously can do something if she's getting cast in these dance-heavy shows, like, let's let's give her a dance call, let's see what she's got.

[32:47] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Like, and so it's nice that um I think my work has kind of been able to speak for itself as opposed to me having to advocate so hard for myself.

[32:58] Patrick Oliver Jones: And I would assume that are there times then that you have to work with the choreographer and say, this is what I can do, this is where I would need to do this instead of that.

[33:10] Patrick Oliver Jones: How does that relationship work?

[33:12] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, so usually how I go about it, um, you know, just right off the bat in the audition is that when they are giving the combination, I just am translating it to what works in the wheelchair.

[33:26] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And I've gotten a pretty extensive vocabulary um and gotten a lot of practice doing that.

[33:35] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So I've gotten a lot quicker at doing that, and most of the time, um can figure out something in that dance call.

[33:45] Meredith Aleigha Wells: So that's you know, when I don't want to be bothering the choreographer too too much in the middle of dance call, they've got a lot of people to see things like that.

[33:53] Meredith Aleigha Wells: But once I'm in a show, um, I will do that as much as I can.

[33:58] Meredith Aleigha Wells: But then when I have a question about something, I you know, will go to the choreographer and ask something like, Do you want me to translate this part?

[34:07] Meredith Aleigha Wells: You know, do you want it to be my arm doing it?

[34:09] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Or do you want me to do um what they're doing with their legs with my arm or something like that?

[34:17] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And just so I want to make sure that when I am translating choreography, I'm not taking away from the choreographer's intentions.

[34:28] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And usually I have a pretty good relationship with choreographers in the sense that like if they don't like something, they see like, you know, I have a very open line of communication.

[34:39] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I always encourage them, like, you know, I can change it, just let me know.

[34:43] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Um, and if I have questions, I'll definitely come to you so that you know, we make sure that your vision is getting across, even in this translated version.

[34:54] Patrick Oliver Jones: Has there been any pushback about you being in a wheelchair or being cast in a particular show?

[35:02] Meredith Aleigha Wells: My experience has kind of just been in, you know, a dance call or something, a lot of staring, a lot of people kind of like, okay, like what's this girl gonna do?

[35:13] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Like, and they just have no idea.

[35:16] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And then, you know, once I start moving in group, and they're like, oh, okay, like that's what she's gonna do.

[35:18] ⚠ About 3 minutes of audio could not be automatically transcribed.

[38:38] Meredith Aleigha Wells: I was reading the other day, I think it's low number. I wanna say 2% of roles like on screen or something are disabled, and 95% of them are played by able-bodied actors.

[38:58] Meredith Aleigha Wells: The comprehensive study she's referring to was commissioned by the Ruderman Family Foundation and examined the frequency of actors with disabilities in the top 10 TV shows of the 2015 and 16 television season. In total, it looked at 31 shows across streaming platforms, cable and broadcast networks, and determined that only four actors with disabilities were cast, amounting to less than 2% of all actors on the screen.

[39:45] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Yeah, so that definitely is a challenge, um, in the sense that proving that having an authentic representation on stage is more valuable than having an able-bodied person play the disability. I think that's kind of a big thing in my work. I feel is just you know, just showing that this is an option. I think when people start realizing that there are tons of disabled performers out there. Like you just it you just gotta go looking a little bit. And you know, casting directors who are like, well, we could look forever for a disabled actor, or we could just take someone who's good for the role who um, you know, was more easily accessible to us, um, I think is kind of a cop-out, in my opinion.

[40:39] Meredith Aleigha Wells: My work is a good mix of roles that weren't originally written for people with disabilities, and a mix of roles that are specifically disabled people and um they want disabled actors if possible. I think, you know, where I am right now and getting a lot of roles in like Cleveland, and sometimes it's like, oh, we need a person with a disability. Like, how about that girl Meredith? Like, you know, like people know me and they know me as an actor in a wheelchair, and there's like not too too many of us in a smaller city like where I'm at right now. So um, you know, sometimes it's a matter of, you know, people have seen my work in the past and you know, getting called to do something. It's it's good to kind of be able to get your foot in the door in that way too.

[41:36] Meredith Aleigha Wells: Meredith's frustration comes out not only as a performer and with some casting decisions, but also in her day-to-day life. As the Americans with Disabilities Act was celebrating its 30th anniversary this past summer, Meredith was interviewed by Youth Today, an international digital publication dedicated to examining the wide spectrum of complex issues in the youth services industry. She was asked what the ADA means to her.

[42:09] Meredith Aleigha Wells: As COVID maintains a foothold in almost every country around the world, Meredith is grateful that the one bright spot has been the use of online and virtual resources to make life and work a little easier.

[42:23] Meredith Aleigha Wells: However, before the pandemic, getting those resources wasn't usually available. There were definitely times where I wish I could have accessed classes. I mean I would miss class a lot because of my illness. And I had a note taker, and so I would get the notes from class, but especially I always did my best. Like if you know I was having a really rough day and I could only go to one, two classes, I made sure that those were, you know, the theater ones and the ones that in person where it's really important. And you know, maybe have a lecture, like that's the one I'd get the notes from. Like it just trying to conserve as much energy as possible in those times. Um, but it would have been really nice to just be able to watch the lecture, you know, from my dorm room or something like that is kind of some of the accommodations that I was told weren't possible.

And now everything uh higher ed looks like that now. So it's just, you know, it's frustrating, but also better late than never, right? You know, that it what happened happened. I can't dwell on the fact that I didn't have access to that, but now all my little disabled babies have them. So that's good.

[43:40] Meredith Aleigha Wells: And so you mentioned that this was uh this is chronic, and so it'll just be good days and bad days going forward for for the rest of your life, basically. Yeah, um, some people with pots, it goes away. Um, if it's caused by a virus, a lot of people will get mono and then get pots, and in those cases where it's caused by a virus, it goes away. Um, I've had my pots long enough, and there wasn't any virus that we know of that happened around that time. So it's unlikely that mine will go away. So it'll either, you know, stay constant where it has been, or it um it would just decline. And I don't know where it's going, so I can't worry about it, honestly. At the end of the day, I just have to worry about the task at hand.

Um, you know, I always I think for me, I have that goal in preparing to work for someone else, but then I also always have a goal of something that's creating my own opportunity for myself. And that goal for me right now is trying to start my own nonprofit theater company. I really want it to be something that's um accessible to other people with disabilities, and have a lot of the opportunities be mostly remote in the way that things have been happening right now. Not necessarily that all the performances would be virtual, although maybe some of them will be, but doing things like collaborating remotely for 80% of it, and then you know, doing a workshop and being together for a month and working on it for that month.

So trying to do more things like that. I think it really brings together my passion for helping other performers with disabilities, and then also my passion for just traveling and being a nomad and being able to work from wherever and launching some educational opportunities for artists with disabilities as well through that.

[45:43] Patrick Oliver Jones: It is so wonderful that Meredith wants to use her experiences to create a base and a foundation of support and training for others. Certainly, learning to live and work with a disability is both challenging and necessary. But there's also a lot of education and learning that needs to happen within the able-bodied community as well. My conversation with Meredith was certainly eye-opening for me. And if you enjoyed and got as much out of this as I did, then please share this episode with someone who you think could benefit from this conversation. If you want to share on social media, you can find why I'll never make it at win me podcast. A big thank you to Meredith and to you for joining me on today's episode.

I'm your host, Patrick Oliver Jones, and I also record, edit, and produce this podcast. Dylan Adams is the booking producer. Music on this episode provided by Blue Dot Sessions. You can also find links to the various interview clips you heard today in the show notes. Coming up next, Meredith answers the final five questions. So join me then as we talk more about why I'll never make it.