This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Tonya Pinkins: Hi, I'm Tonya Pinkins, and you're listening to my podcast, You Can't SAY THAT, The Show Where You Can on the Broadway Podcast Network.

[0:12] Tonya Pinkins: I kind of pride myself on doing things that scare me. My personal motto is if brilliance lies in the moment that might not work. It's a quote from producer, director, writer, George C. Wolfe. And what it means is that if you're repeating what you already know how to do, then you have given up on everything brilliant. Now our society will support you in standardizing your art. But is it art if it can be replicated like a Big Mac or a Mocha Latte? Is that really art? As much as I thought I was pushing my limits, an encounter with my next guest rocked my world and set me on a collision course with my personal religious upbringing and values that would change my life forever. Please join me in welcoming my next guest, the iconic Bridget Everett.

[1:12] Bridget Everett: Okay, cool. So now we gotta we gotta watch what we say.

[1:15] Tonya Pinkins: No, we don't have to watch what we say at all. We can say whatever we want to say. I'm gonna jump right in with schatology.

[1:19] Bridget Everett: Schatology.

[1:21] Tonya Pinkins: Is that like Scott stuff?

[1:24] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[1:25] Tonya Pinkins: All right. I often like what I find funny and what other people find funny are very different. And sometimes I can't tell if someone's being funny because sometimes people's funny is like my real. And I read somewhere or something like that.

[1:41] Bridget Everett: Well, that's where the humor lies, it's always in the truth.

[1:42] Tonya Pinkins: Exactly. So I saw somewhere where you were saying, and I yes, it was funny. There was a joke in it, but I wondered if there was truth in it. Because it was truth in it for me that you don't audition because you get the shits.

[1:49] Bridget Everett: Literally.

[1:55] Tonya Pinkins: And I don't get the shits when I audition, but whenever I have an emotional connection to someone and I'm stressed about them, that's what happens to me. Like, same thing. It's a roller coaster right.

[2:06] Bridget Everett: Like, that's like the first place my anxiety manifests itself as like right out the back door.

[2:10] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, that's what happens to me. My son, I had to put him on a plane once in the middle of the airport, just evacuation.

[2:17] Bridget Everett: It's not not, it's just liquid evacuation.

[2:20] Tonya Pinkins: And one time my son showed up at some thing I was at. Yes, you know. So I'm like, okay, you know, I and so I got on this like out in public and everything. In public. I was winter time in the airport.

[2:30] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[2:33] Tonya Pinkins: And I had to go in and wash my clothes and then like wear wet clothes home, and it didn't stop for the entire day.

[2:40] Bridget Everett: Oh, God.

[2:41] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah. So I most of the things I write about are very scatological because I spend a lot of time with my scat. I mean, I was like, I wish I had a better handle on it, but it's like when I go in, like I remember I had specifically I went into like Bernie Tulsi's office to do this audition, and I could just feel it, and they're like, it's like your time. I was like, no, it's not.

[3:05] Bridget Everett: Do you have to take something to stop it?

[3:07] Tonya Pinkins: No, I just roll the dice.

[3:09] Bridget Everett: Oh man, that's I just roll the dice.

[3:11] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, sometimes I have to put on a pad or something. And I'm like, okay, we're gonna kind of catch it somehow because well, I'm not far away from diapers because of a couple of reasons, but um, yeah. So I guess we did jump right in with something you were supposed to say. We hit it, but uh it's something I I mean I have a novel that I've been writing called The Angry Fat Black Woman Who Devours the World, which is about a woman who bites her boss's head off and chews it up and shits it out.

[3:36] Bridget Everett: Oh.

[3:36] Tonya Pinkins: And everybody who fucks with her, that's what happens to them. There's just piles of steaming shit all over.

[3:41] Bridget Everett: Oh my god, I love that so.

[3:44] Tonya Pinkins: So um I do you remember when you met you? Because I have wanted to say something to you that I say about you all the time.

[3:53] Bridget Everett: Well, the okay, go ahead. I'm sorry, yeah. Go ahead.

[3:56] Tonya Pinkins: No, the way I remember was that we were at the meeting, right? Or whatever it's called, the the just night of a thousand juicy.

[4:01] Bridget Everett: The night of a thousand thousand juice, which I think is like a uh offshoot of Justin Sayer, um, is like the the meeting. But anyway, so yeah, it was like the night of a thousand Judys, and uh we were all there. My friend Jim, who was like so obsessed with you, and like of course I'm a fan too, because you know it's you in Caroline, or Change and everything, and and other things too, but but um like I told Jim and like I felt like I had to represent for him, you know. Like I had to be cool because I was like, I did not want to fuck this up for Jim. Like, maybe if I can like get to know Tonya, then Jim will get to meet her, and it'll be really cool. It was like a really big deal for us.

[4:38] Bridget Everett: So wow, because I just like really loved talking to you, and then when you went um back to get ready to go on stage, everybody was like, Oh, you know, Bridget, she does everything on stage. She had somebody suck a tweet to it out of her vagina.

[4:51] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, what?

[4:52] Bridget Everett: That's what someone said, a sweet tart.

[4:54] Tonya Pinkins: A sweet tart.

[4:54] Bridget Everett: So sweet out of her vagina, and I was like, Oh ridiculous. And then, you know, we're all I'm in my gown and I'm doing my Judy thing, and I I come out on stage and you're singing come rain or come shine, and you had on one of those little tops with the elastic here and elastic here, and I think it might have been like a cool out of shorts kind of thing. And you brought someone um up from the audience, a man, and um at one point you flashed him.

[5:19] Tonya Pinkins: That gave me a little bit of shock, and then you're like saying your ass off, and then you ended the song sitting on his face.

[5:25] Bridget Everett: That sounds about right.

[5:28] Tonya Pinkins: And it fucked with me so badly that I left.

[5:33] Bridget Everett: Oh no!

[5:36] Tonya Pinkins: I left. I didn't say goodbye to my guest. It messed with my head. I don't even, I didn't have words for what it was, but it just did not compute.

[5:46] Bridget Everett: Well, like, so and what were you like upset by it? Or were you sort of you just didn't know, you just were having a reaction.

[5:51] Tonya Pinkins: I was having a reaction that was so strong, it did not have words to it. It was just like, I where am I? What am I doing? What is this? What I gotta get out of here.

[5:59] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[6:00] Tonya Pinkins: And so I had to get out of here. And then the next time I saw you, I met Randy, you and Scott Whitman at 54 Below, and I was with my son Max.

[6:06] Bridget Everett: I remember that, yeah.

[6:07] Tonya Pinkins: And we sat and we all talked, and you were like, Yeah, you gotta come do my show. And I remember thinking like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So I need to see your show. I'm not sitting in anybody's face. And when I came to see your show, I was sitting with Jim.

[6:25] Bridget Everett: Yeah, who is um forever for me, Jim Crow.

[6:29] Tonya Pinkins: I call him Jim Crow.

[6:31] Bridget Everett: Oh, I know.

[6:32] Tonya Pinkins: When he invited me to his house for dinner, he made some chicken, which is Jim Crow chicken.

[6:35] Bridget Everett: Right.

[6:36] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, we didn't sell that Jim Crow chicken to black people because this shit is good.

[6:40] Bridget Everett: Oh, that shit makes me laugh.

[6:43] Tonya Pinkins: So when I saw your show, I was just blown away by the ingeniousness of all these people taking this material and just doing amazing things with it. And you kept saying, Oh, Tonya, you don't have to do that. You can just sing a song.

[6:57] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[6:58] Tonya Pinkins: And I was like, no, I if I'm gonna do it, I wanna go for it. And you put me with Brian Nash.

[7:04] Bridget Everett: Yeah, and we did blow me one last kiss.

[7:07] Tonya Pinkins: And then you didn't you dress up like a I dressed up like a nun, and I um I tackled my Catholicism. And I had to tell you, getting ready to go to that, I cried every day. And I cried all day. And you know Dr. Thelma Reyes, right?

[7:22] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[7:22] Tonya Pinkins: She was like, why are you going to do this? This is so upsetting to you. And I was like, I just thought I was gonna be struck down dead, or my children were gonna be struck down dead, that I was doing something so sacrilegious that I would have to be punished for it. And I kind of don't remember doing it. But what I will tell you is that after that, it was like a huge mind shift changed for me, and things that I didn't know I couldn't even contemplate doing were suddenly available to me because I had, you know, entered into trying something that before would not have been acceptable. All of that from watching you like do something that was just like my Catholic girl's like, no, you can't do that. And then I so you know, you changed my life, Bridget.

[8:04] Bridget Everett: Well, thank you. I mean, it's so funny to think that because I see you and I think like you're just so fearless, like not just on stage, but like as a person. Like I think of you as kind of like like a warrior, you know what I mean? Like in a good way, like just like you know, like you you say what's on your mind, you are a tough fighter, you're incredibly gifted, and like you, and you just I just feel like you are like one of the best kinds of people to see because like uh you know, like as a performer, because I feel like you just like are constantly like walking on the edge, and it's like a little scary in the most wonderful way.

[8:39] Tonya Pinkins: That's the same way I feel about you, and what you showed me was there was an edge that I had been avoiding. Like I didn't know it until I saw you do something that somehow pushed a button for me, and then I went to my edge and pushed that button, and so like suddenly it was like, oh, okay, now I got a whole bunch more stuff I can do. So thank you for that.

[8:59] Bridget Everett: All right. Well, hey, you're welcome. That's hilarious. No, I I think it's uh, you know, like all that like sitting on people's faces and shit, like I don't really do that right now just because everybody's so touchy.

[9:10] Tonya Pinkins: Um has Me Too gotten to you and had you tame down your show.

[9:14] Bridget Everett: No, it's not really that. It's just like you know, the whole reason I'm not even sure like why I was doing it, you know. Like it was basically like sort of like taking something back, you know, like a woman taking a power back and like and sort of and but I also don't want to be like a scapegoat for anybody, you know, like any sort of like white cis male, like you know, return of the white cis male or whatever, you know. Like I've I want everybody to feel unlocked in the audience, like men and women included. But I also but mostly I want women to feel like powerful and like they can do anything. So I guess like sometimes I took it pretty far. Just you know, like always just like going as far as I could just to sort of see what I'm saying.

[9:55] Tonya Pinkins: But I think that's why people would sell out, and that's why people come because you give them this experience of aliveness that they don't have in their life. That's what I talk to people in the audience when I come to your shows, and they're like, I just never felt so alive than when I'm at a Bridget show. You know, so I think that that's what you do. And I think if people come to your show, you know, willingly and not being dragged there by somebody who doesn't know, I think that's what they're coming for.

[10:16] Bridget Everett: Yeah, well, there's always like one person is just like, my wife brought me. She's like, honey, I want to have some better sex. Maybe if you like mess around, she gives you a motorboat.

[10:28] Tonya Pinkins: Which motorboating, what you call motorboating and what I call motorboating are very different thing.

[10:31] Bridget Everett: Oh yeah. Well, how's that?

[10:33] Tonya Pinkins: Well, motor boating for me, yours is um the taking somebody um and putting their head between your tips and just shaking them like classic.

[10:40] Bridget Everett: That's that's what you call motorboating.

[10:42] Tonya Pinkins: I call motorboating when, like, you know, the embouchure that uh horn players, yeah. That when you can go yeah on the what?

[10:56] Bridget Everett: Well, because they got those nice tight lips.

[10:58] Tonya Pinkins: What do you think?

[10:59] Bridget Everett: Oh, right on a clip. You know, my mom when I was growing up was a music teacher, and I had this crush on this guy, Jason Kause. He's not gonna be listening to a Broadway podcast. I always loved him, and my mom's like, oh, you know, he plays a saxophone. I was like, yeah, so he's like, he's got a nice ombouchure, and I was like, yeah. So she's like, think about it. I was like, oh my god. Like my mom was like this, like, you know, conservative, Republican, Midwestern woman, but she's like, you know, that embouchure.

[11:28] Bridget Everett: Yeah, she gets she's not so conservative now. That was like sort of a whisper, you know, that was like a what was to come. Yeah, the embouchure, yeah. So I look for that now. The embouchure. Yeah, yeah. It's worth training somebody who doesn't have an embouchure, train them for the embouchure. I've been going through a little bit of a dry spell. Maybe I should just hang out like the blue note or something like that. Is that place still open? Like just a little jazz. Yeah, oh yeah, somebody's gotta work something out. Somebody's gotta be, you know, on a you know, having a little rough moment in life. They're down on their luck. That's why I want to find a down on the fellow with a good embouchure. The good embouchure. That's what we should say in the in the match.com at seeking seeking gentlemen with great embouchure and and sustained breath control.

[12:14] Tonya Pinkins: Oh yeah. Do you do any of that business like the match.com or any business?

[12:17] Bridget Everett: I did.

[12:18] Tonya Pinkins: You did?

[12:19] Bridget Everett: Oh, yeah. I did it like hardcore, like um, I did it like it was like I do things like they're like a business. So I was seeing a dating doctor who was telling me how to do it.

[12:27] Tonya Pinkins: Dating doctor.

[12:31] Bridget Everett: Yeah. And I um I would have breakfast, lunch, and dinner dates. She had rules that you had to go out with the person at least three times. And so for about two years, I was dating like round the clock, and I ended up marrying someone and dating someone else from that.

[12:49] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah. Have you not ever done it?

[12:52] Bridget Everett: No, I'm terrified.

[12:53] Tonya Pinkins: See, that's that warrior thing about you.

[12:55] Bridget Everett: I'm scared. Terrified. I don't know. I was on not um, I was on my friend's, what not grinder.

[13:03] Tonya Pinkins: Okay, keep a tinder.

[13:04] Bridget Everett: No, it was like maybe it was like Tinder, but for guy. It was like with my guy friend.

[13:07] Tonya Pinkins: Okay.

[13:07] Bridget Everett: And he was swiping, and I saw like some friends of mine, you know, they're well known or whatever. I was like, okay. And it was like, and they swipe right, whatever. But but I'm scared to do it. Not I I it's not like I'm like famous in the way that people are gonna care, you know, but or are known in that way. But I I don't want to be somebody's curiosity, even if it's just the one person, you know?

[13:30] Tonya Pinkins: Right, I d I hate leaving my house, and only you know, I'm not gonna do it just to like it. I'm too fragile.

[13:38] Bridget Everett: Yeah, I understand that, but you know, there's like some of these dating sites are like um like I don't know where you went to college.

[13:45] Tonya Pinkins: Uh I went to Arizona.

[13:46] Bridget Everett: I'll save this right because I looked up some of the people that went there. Um Jimmy Kimmel went there, right?

[13:52] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, you might have. I don't know.

[13:53] Bridget Everett: I think Jimmy Kimmel went there. You know who went there was Linda Ronstadt?

[13:56] Tonya Pinkins: Linda Ronstadt did?

[13:58] Bridget Everett: Oh my god, I love her. You know who did it? It was um who was a woman that had the she she married the the kid, Villy Falal or whatever her name was Mary Kay Laterno. Do you remember Mary Kay Laterno?

[14:09] Tonya Pinkins: She didn't do something bad, didn't she?

[14:11] Bridget Everett: Yeah, she had sex with her like her students. Student, and they're still like together, they got like kids and shit now. And then also Scott Peterson, I think, went there too, who killed his wife Lacey Peterson. So we got some fucked up people in there.

[14:23] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, okay. Maybe you should like change that.

[14:25] Bridget Everett: Yeah. I brought it up because some of the Ivy League schools like have dating sites. Like if you went to like there's this like 20 schools, and if you went, I mean, not to say that there aren't perverts at those Ivy League schools, but like you have to be in that league of schools and you can go there. And then one of my friends actually met her husband who was very successful in one of these sites where you pay like $10,000 and $10,000. You better meet somebody and you have these videos and then people agree. So there are like, you know, more to more private kind of matchmakers rather than like the okay cupids and match.coms, which there was just an article saying that all of those sites do not screen and they allow registered sex offenders to use the sites.

[15:05] Tonya Pinkins: That doesn't surprise me.

[15:06] Bridget Everett: And then like all you have to do is like, I like to read not on the dark webs, I just the internet, like be like, she went out with him and you know, she said, Are you gonna kill me? He's like, ha ha ha, no. That was the last text that she ever said. I was like, why? I mean, but you know, in the 80s and 90s, in the early 2000s, I was at karaoke bars all the time meeting people and going home with them. So it's you know, I didn't die then, so right.

[15:29] Tonya Pinkins: And who would have ever told you 20 years ago that you'd get in cars with strangers and let them take you home?

[15:33] Bridget Everett: I know, and I don't, you know, like for some reason, like getting in an Uber late at night when I'm like, I've had a couple bottles of wine or whatever, like, you know, I'm very vulnerable, right? And especially, you know, not all those people have really been vetted in the way that I for some reason I trust the yellow tab the yellow calves. I'm like, they're not gonna because they're they've got all that money in their medallions on the line, they're not gonna.

[15:58] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah. I don't know.

[15:59] Bridget Everett: Yeah, it's a it's a hard, it's a hard kind of world. I mean, I got a 23-year-old daughter, she's out there. Believe me, I bought her taser.

[16:04] Tonya Pinkins: You did a switch blade.

[16:07] Bridget Everett: Yeah. A taser and a switch blade.

[16:09] Tonya Pinkins: Taser and a switch blade. Like, yeah, let's be ready. And does she carry it?

[16:12] Bridget Everett: I hope so. It would be a waste of time if she didn't carry it.

[16:17] Tonya Pinkins: What's the the old mace? Like, people that can't do shit, does it? Do people really still do that anymore?

[16:20] Bridget Everett: I think people do because I know it's illegal to even get mace here.

[16:25] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, it is.

[16:25] Bridget Everett: And then the red pepper spray, also that that's illegal here. So it must work.

[16:30] Tonya Pinkins: It must do something. Because that's isn't that what the police oh sprayed on the occupation was?

[16:33] Bridget Everett: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it it has some effect. I used to have a picture on my show where I was like, I passed out one time with just my tank top on, and my friend Pilo took a picture. I'm naked from the waist down, and I have one of I put like one of those uh guys from the Occupy Wall Street like spray and pepper spray. Like I photoshopped it and spraying it on my coochie.

[16:53] Tonya Pinkins: Yes, that's kind of what those guys were doing.

[16:56] Bridget Everett: Yeah. Wow, that sort of went away. Nobody talks about that anymore.

[16:59] Tonya Pinkins: Nobody talks about Occupy Wall Street.

[17:01] Bridget Everett: Yes. That all just they killed that.

[17:04] Tonya Pinkins: They just crushed that.

[17:06] Bridget Everett: They I think they've done it with these devices. I've just been reading something called um, what is it called? Oh god, I can't even remember what it's called. See, that's how the the the technology just messes with your brain. It's about surveillance technology.

[17:19] Tonya Pinkins: Okay, what's that?

[17:21] Bridget Everett: That now the biggest commodity in the world is our attention.

[17:27] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, yeah, well, they got it.

[17:28] Bridget Everett: So our attention is labor. And so everybody's vying to get our attention or make impressions so that we're thinking about or talking about them, and that's what people are paying for. And it's working.

[17:43] Tonya Pinkins: It's working. Do you ever like, you know, that thing now that I have this I know it's on all phones, but I never used to notice it like the amount of time I spent on my phone or whatever. It is really dark. And I feel like I don't like write songs anymore. I don't like, you know, my creativity's been limited. And you know, I just like it's bad. I have to go somewhere and like lock myself away to get rebooted, refocused on how to like have a day without all that shit.

[18:07] Bridget Everett: Yes. Even if I'm not on it, I'm like listening to music all the time. You know, I'm like always in that and it's you know I feel bad for for kids because or younger people because you know especially like you go in a restaurant you see like kids on their phone or whatever and I I just I just want you know people to create and play especially myself.

[18:26] Tonya Pinkins: Well did you are I don't I don't know how old you are but you did you grow up before no there was a there were no cell phones when you were first growing up right no no no I didn't yeah I got one late I got one.

[18:37] Bridget Everett: Right. So I mean you remember a time when your attention was yours like to imagine with I feel like nowadays kids they don't even know like I give my students assignments to go and write about what happened when you don't say negative words for two days.

[18:53] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[18:54] Bridget Everett: And they write like a paragraph.

[18:55] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[18:55] Bridget Everett: And I'm like I'm the most interesting person I know. Really like all you could write about yourself was a paragraph. Like you weren't like oh and I did this and then this happened and then I noticed this and like aren't you interesting to yourself? Like that's the raw material that you're making your show out of yeah or your life out of as an artist.

[19:14] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah. No.

[19:15] Bridget Everett: Well, there's a thing, like, you know, it used to be that I would like sit down and write a lot. Cause I, you know, I if your listeners don't know, I do like a you know cabaret show essentially, and like I tell stories and sing songs and whatever.

[19:25] Tonya Pinkins: And you don't just do that, you're also on a series called camping.

[19:29] Bridget Everett: Oh, yeah.

[19:30] Tonya Pinkins: And you wrote a pilot called Love You More.

[19:32] Bridget Everett: Yeah, which my students are currently doing scenes from.

[19:35] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, are they really?

[19:37] Bridget Everett: Atlantic students are doing scenes. And here's the other crazy thing. I've given them real scenes. They didn't go look the series up. They could have looked insane. I I told them it was a comedy, and we look at these things like is that funny to you? Like we laugh 15 to 20 seconds, like, where's the where's the funny? And um, and you have your show with the you have the tender moments.

[19:54] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[19:55] Bridget Everett: You also have your other show that you wrote before the show, the show with Scott Whitman also.

[19:59] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, yeah, Rock Bottom.

[20:00] Bridget Everett: Yeah, I mean, and I was watching a mom show movie that you did.

[20:03] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, fun mom.

[20:04] Bridget Everett: You know, you're I'm always out there trying to make a book. Um, but the um but the what I was gonna say was about like the like the creativity part. Like the um with my shows, I used to like sit in my bathtub or just like sit at a table and like write funny things out and like and come up with like a little outline for um a story idea. And then I would just get and do my and you know, sort of try to write them out in a way that would make me laugh or whatever. But now like I have to like get an idea and I just do it on stage and just like try to because it's the only time that there's no distractions and I'm like forced to like right.

[20:38] Tonya Pinkins: So you're you're now living it.

[20:40] Bridget Everett: I'm living it more, but it's it's you know, it's not fair to an audience to like make them like watch me try to figure it out. I mean, part of that's fun, but part of it's also like do your job, bitch. Like get back in your tub, put your phone away, put the internet off. I don't know.

[20:54] Tonya Pinkins: Well, so what's distracting you now?

[20:57] Bridget Everett: Well, a lot of this just the noise, like all the the Trump and all the shit and the impeachment and everything. You watching that circus. I mean, I watch part of it, and then if I try not to, then you know, I get a notification on my phone and I click and I read the article, and then you know, I'm I'm stressed out about the planet, so I'm like always reading shit about like what people are doing to um to block conservation basically you know like how governments are not doing enough and you know I follow like all these like National Geographic and you know these photographers that are like showing visually what's happening on our planet and it's fucking terrifying especially if if you have kids I don't have kids so you know I'm gonna be dead so who gives a shit but but you know it it freaks me out.

[21:41] Tonya Pinkins: Really?

[21:42] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[21:42] Tonya Pinkins: Bridget let me tell you this.

[21:44] Bridget Everett: Yeah and this I feel very strongly.

[21:47] Tonya Pinkins: Okay.

[21:49] Bridget Everett: Mother Earth is not going to let us fuck her up.

[21:52] Tonya Pinkins: Okay.

[21:53] Bridget Everett: But she we cannot fuck up the planet. Now this might be the end of Homo sapiens.

[21:58] Tonya Pinkins: That's what I'm saying.

[22:00] Bridget Everett: Homo sapiens Mother Earth is gonna be fine. Mother Earth is gonna be fine. Because a bitch will slap back. You know that's what I'm saying she can slap back. She's not worried about the earth. We may be gone. She might let's shrug us right off but I'm not worried about Mother.

[22:11] Tonya Pinkins: No I agree.

[22:12] Bridget Everett: I agree 100% like I know that Mother Earth is like the fucking she's like my ultimate warrior. The ultimate warrior and my mom always used to say about her like when like we get like a storm or something she's like oh there goes Mother Nature again kicking up her heels and it's like when she kicks up those heels that last time we're all done. We're done but like you know basically like what she is is she's you know like she's like this like battered woman and she's only gonna take so much and like we are giving it to her and she's fucking like not having it and she's giving it back and giving it back until like one day when she really fucking claps back. And that's just inevitable if you're not sure and that's just and that's what it is.

[22:46] Bridget Everett: Yeah, it's inevitable at this point. I mean, you just like everything, like I'm really obsessed with like the just like, and I'm guilty too. You know, like Black Friday, I'm like fucking looking for the deals, and you know, and like I'm not doing, I'm not walking the walk in the way that I should, you know.

[23:00] Bridget Everett: But everybody wants and wants and wants and wants. And I used to play this game past the pigs. It's a really cute game if you want to play like with your nieces and nephews. But it's like you just roll these pigs and then they like land on their backs or their sides, they're their trotters, leaning jowlers, whatever. It's like a just a it's like a dice game, but they're pigs. Okay. And um, my niece and nephew, like they would always like want to roll one too many times. I'd be like, greed kills. Stop. Stop. But greed kills is like, I want to get that on like shirts because that is it's greed. Like we're all so fucking greedy. We all want more, like more stuff. We want more space. We want more, want more dick.

We want more, like more jobs, more money, more, more, more, more, more, more, more. And I'm guilty. Like, there's this job. I got offered a job, and I was like, well, I don't, I don't want to go, I don't want to do it, you know. The money's not great, but I've never been to Puerto Rico. I want to go to Puerto Rico. I want to, I want, I want to add, you know, I want more and more more. I don't know, do you know? Puerto Rico's really nice. I'm probably gonna do it. I went to Vieck is for my birthday.

[23:59] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, did you?

[24:00] Bridget Everett: Yeah, I like Puerto Rico. Good food, beautiful.

[24:04] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[24:05] Bridget Everett: Yeah, and I and I'm a travel hog, so you know, if you want me to work for you, tell tell me you're taking me somewhere.

[24:12] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[24:12] Bridget Everett: So that's like that's like a seductive to me because I like to travel.

[24:15] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, that's what I mean.

[24:17] Bridget Everett: I travel a lot, but you know, there's like when it's a new place I haven't been, see, I want to go. That would I that's what me too. I don't feel like that's greed. That's like I'm expanding myself and my consciousness. I'm meeting new people, a new culture.

[24:26] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, you know, I consider that like education and enrichment.

[24:31] Bridget Everett: Well, that is education and enrichment. And I it just happens to be in a beautiful, you know, places, beaches, like, you know, blocks away, whatever. But exactly. But that I do, I love seeing the culture. And I do think Puerto Rico like needs all the money it can get, and like it's sort of like in a way, it's like you're doing a service because you're like you're going to work, but you're also spending your money and you know, but you're also gonna go around some inspirational people who just rose up and took it.

[24:53] Tonya Pinkins: That's what I'm saying and and took a leader. Damn, like they have some power that we are kind of waning in right here on the mainland.

[25:00] Bridget Everett: Yeah, because we're all fucking lazy.

[25:01] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[25:02] Bridget Everett: Well, I'm not gonna be able to do that.

[25:02] Tonya Pinkins: We're distracted.

[25:03] Bridget Everett: We're distracted with these.

[25:04] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[25:05] Bridget Everett: The ultimate sedative is this.

[25:07] Tonya Pinkins: It is the ultimate sedative.

[25:09] Bridget Everett: That's right. Wow. I thought I was just gonna like take an edible tonight, and you know, I thought it was the ultimate sedative. But I think you're right. It's the it's actually the phone.

[25:19] Tonya Pinkins: The phone, the d the computer, the laptop, the iPad, whatever.

[25:22] Bridget Everett: Yeah. What I what I at least try to do now is like when I watch like a movie or something, I try to like just put my phone away for that amount of time to like at least give the respect to the people that made the thing.

[25:32] Tonya Pinkins: But if that's just not good, yeah, no, I'm on that phone plan. I'm like watching another thing to do. About two years ago, I had a thing where if I wanted to watch a movie, I'd have to do it in the gym on a treadmill or on a bike.

[25:45] Bridget Everett: Oh, you got my focus there.

[25:46] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah. Um, and I made myself do that for like six months. And I lost a lot of weight, but now I just can't get the motivation to do it.

[25:53] Bridget Everett: Yeah. I was watching this show um Love After Lock Up.

[25:57] Tonya Pinkins: I need to get locked on another show like that because it was what was it?

[26:00] Bridget Everett: It's called Love After Lock Up, and it's like basically people coming out of jail, mostly women, but some guys that like you know get a pen pal in jail, and then they're supposed to all get married like as soon as they get out.

[26:10] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, good, and their lives are fucked up.

[26:12] Bridget Everett: But it's like I when I'm watching that, um do not fucking touch me. But that's what I should watch on the treadmill, because I need something on the treadmill, just like for the case.

[26:22] Tonya Pinkins: Or even just the recumbent bike.

[26:24] Bridget Everett: Because you know, you're getting all that cardio work, but you're sitting back, you're relaxed, your legs are moving. The recumbent bike was the big place that I would do my binge of too much.

[26:31] Tonya Pinkins: The recumbent one's the one where you get to sit down.

[26:33] Bridget Everett: Yes.

[26:33] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[26:34] Bridget Everett: It's like when you get to sit back like that.

[26:36] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[26:37] Bridget Everett: The recumbent bike. I would do that for a couple of hours and watch a few shows.

[26:40] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, that's nice. I wish I could get myself to do it again. Did you ever do Bekrum?

[26:44] Bridget Everett: Fuck no.

[26:45] Tonya Pinkins: Why not?

[26:46] Bridget Everett: You don't like it hot.

[26:46] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, that's right. She said you'd rather freeze to death.

[26:48] Bridget Everett: You need a choice between burning to death and freezing to death if you choose freezing.

[26:52] Tonya Pinkins: But also, like with yoga, I'm not flexible. I've really been trying to get better about that, like stretching every day, and it's just not working for me.

[26:59] Bridget Everett: But I've gone to two yoga classes, and not like I didn't shit my pants, but I definitely like when I get like stretched out in a certain way, I didn't even know I like a fart really loud.

[27:08] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, you're gonna fart in yoga, it's just what it is.

[27:11] Bridget Everett: Well, I was the only one that did it. I was so humiliated, and now like, you know, like I don't want to be like just like just be one person that's like a cabaret fan, like, oh my god, Bridget Everett was in my yoga class, shitting her brains out.

[27:24] Tonya Pinkins: Like you can't be anonymous anymore.

[27:26] Bridget Everett: Everybody has to tell, you know, people and so what is that like for you? Because you're pretty famous. You've been on a lot of TV shows.

[27:32] Tonya Pinkins: But just enough people that like you know how it is, like people know who you are, and it's like it's not like if you I just I feel like I'm well known enough that like you never think like you know, like I was in Paris that I went on a vacation I'd never been before, and I went to this place where I didn't want to go because I was like, I don't think we're supposed to go here anymore. I think like the Sultan of Brunei like owns this place, and like blah blah blah blah. And then like somebody like tweets at me, like, oh you know, I saw you at the fucking blah blah blah. Like, you just never know where there's some eyes on you.

[28:04] Bridget Everett: Right, you know? There are always eyes on us now. And you can't like just be like, you know, like if I'm on the train and somebody does somebody piss me off against me, go fuck yourself. I mean, I can, but you know.

[28:15] Tonya Pinkins: So do you feel like somehow the celebrity has encumbered your personal freedom?

[28:21] Bridget Everett: No, because I don't think I'm a celebrity. I just think that like I I know, especially in New York, people know who I am, so I just can't be like the fucking pig that I was 10 years ago.

[28:32] Tonya Pinkins: You know, I don't know.

[28:34] Bridget Everett: Would you say that they'd love that? They'd love it because it's you and it's what you would bring in, and they would just love you for whatever you are.

[28:39] Tonya Pinkins: I mean, I think of Eminem and his songs, like I am what I say I am. You know if I wasn't, wow, what a say I am, you know.

[28:46] Bridget Everett: I'm like always walking on the street, I got no brawn. I'm like, just look like, you know, just a a fucking wreck. Um but I wouldn't if I had to not look wrecked, like I like going to the store or to the gym, and I just go in my building with my robe and my towel on.

[28:59] Tonya Pinkins: Like that's like, yeah, I don't want to give that up.

[29:01] Bridget Everett: Oh, you know where it was the place that that was like that freaked me out the most is like I was in this one of those Korean baths, like there's one in LA. And like, you know, have you been to one like where it's all open and like there's like your Olympic or century?

[29:15] Tonya Pinkins: I think it's like Olympic, I think.

[29:16] Bridget Everett: Yeah, and you're on there and you're down there and like they're splashing water on you and they're flipping you over. Scrub.

[29:21] Tonya Pinkins: Oh she flipped me over and she fucking accidentally slick her finger on my butt.

[29:25] Bridget Everett: I'll never forget it.

[29:26] Tonya Pinkins: Oh my god.

[29:27] Bridget Everett: Right at my butt. I was like, what? But you know, you're like spread eagle. you're like whatever. And then for some reason, that was just like a day where like all sorts of people sort of like I don't know, I'm I'm not like self-conscious about my body, but it's like also I don't want to like meet a stranger fully naked, you know, after somebody just slipped their finger out my ass.

[29:56] Tonya Pinkins: I just want to fucking go home and eat some fruit.

[29:59] Bridget Everett: Yeah.

[29:59] Tonya Pinkins: Next time you're in the LA, hit the catch.

[30:01] Bridget Everett: What's the catch?

[30:02] Tonya Pinkins: Catch 22 on um Pico in the Crenshaw district, just a little east of there. It's a spot that I think you would really like.

[30:10] Bridget Everett: Do they like hose you down and stuff too?

[30:12] Tonya Pinkins: Or it depends on what night you know.

[30:14] Bridget Everett: Like I actually went one night where it was like neo-Nazi night, and people had on like gas masks and stuff.

[30:20] Tonya Pinkins: Whoa!

[30:21] Bridget Everett: Tell you, you can do some shit.

[30:22] Tonya Pinkins: It's intense.

[30:23] Bridget Everett: You can do something there, right?

[30:25] Tonya Pinkins: And then another.

[30:30] Bridget Everett: It was kind of wild, and I was with some Jewish people, and we're in this place with the swastika and the gas mask, and we're like, okay, this is a bar, and people are dancing.

[30:38] Tonya Pinkins: Okay, we're here.

[30:39] Bridget Everett: Oh my god. But another night I went in, it was like boy night, B-O-I night.

[30:43] Tonya Pinkins: Okay.

[30:44] Bridget Everett: And so it was like, you know, boy B-O-I, every people don't know they're um, they don't, they're not lesbians. They think of themselves as man, but they were born gendered female, and they don't want a lesbian.

[30:55] Tonya Pinkins: They want a woman.

[30:56] Bridget Everett: Yeah. And so you'd have all these like video vixens in the clothes, and then you'd have these B-O-Is, and then the entertainment was naked boys on poles.

[31:05] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah.

[31:06] Bridget Everett: So it's the catch.

[31:08] Tonya Pinkins: It's like catch 22.

[31:09] Bridget Everett: Oh, yeah, it's very, very, very.

[31:11] Tonya Pinkins: I was trying to go to LA in February because there's this guy that does um, he's like a celebrity dog stylist from Japan, and he's like gonna be in LA in January.

[31:21] Bridget Everett: Does he have a show that you can like be on the show with your dog with Poppy?

[31:24] Tonya Pinkins: No, he just has an Instagram, but he was also on like on some, there was like a dog's thing on Insta on Netflix that um it's like a four-part series, and one of them was like a grooming like dog show situation.

[31:36] Bridget Everett: But he like, you know, everybody like all these dog groomers, they make them look so cutesy, but his more look like Farah Fawcett or like 70s sort of like blowouts like he his his work is incredible it's his name is like dog I I gotta look it up I think you need like hit him up on this and just say hey let's do something he just started following me.

[31:36] Tonya Pinkins: Oh okay so what's his name so we can follow because I know Poppy is gonna be there Poppy is gonna get styled his shit is so it's I just you should look him up if you you know like I follow so many uh animal accounts can't can yeah Kanichi at Nagase Kenichi at Nagase and does he have a show or is it just a stuff yeah N I C H I underscore N-A-G-A-S-E.

[32:21] Bridget Everett: He just does like like I just think like you know he like does like he makes like a oh my god this little little doggy doesn't even look real kinichi at Nagase so pretty soon we're gonna see Poppy here right I'm hoping so Poppy is gonna be Kenichi at Nagasay in f have you hit him up and said yeah I'm interested oh yeah I'm gonna follow up but he's like his art his shit is artwork and I just can't wait to see my my dog Poppy is a Pomeranian Poppy's here with us and he's sitting there she's sitting there she's chilling I used to have a Pomeranian my palm died this year symbol.

[32:21] Tonya Pinkins: Oh no yeah yeah oh my god that oh god I just I you know that little cat um little bub little bub little bub little bub is a celebrity kitty that just died and I read the guy the the owner's like you know Instagram posts and I was like weeping, and then I'm like just you know, it's like this little kitty that's all jacked up and like a special needs kitty, and but really cute, but you it's famous you you see, but um yeah they just bring so much to like our lives, obviously.

[33:33] Bridget Everett: I don't know when Poppy goes, I'm going too.

[33:35] Tonya Pinkins: How old is Poppy?

[33:36] Bridget Everett: She's 10.

[33:37] Tonya Pinkins: Oh basically, ladies and gentlemen, Tanya's just like it's over.

[33:45] Bridget Everett: Well, now 10 isn't it like 70 in dog years or something like that?

[33:48] Tonya Pinkins: It's old.

[33:49] Bridget Everett: Yeah, 10 is old.

[33:50] Tonya Pinkins: Yeah, I know, I know.

[33:52] Bridget Everett: That's why we go everywhere together.

[33:54] Tonya Pinkins: Oh, and Poppy is very sweet. Do you they get to let you take Poppy in restaurants and stuff? Do you say it's your your service needs dog, like you have Caesars or something, and Poppy has to come in?

[34:02] Bridget Everett: She listened to the case.

[34:02] Tonya Pinkins: Or do you just keep her in the bag and people don't know?

[34:04] Bridget Everett: That's basically it's a little bit of both. But uh, I do need her with me.

[34:19] Tonya Pinkins: Part two is coming up next.