This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:01] Lesli Margherita: Welcome back, newly faithful listeners, and those who are only listening because they can't get to their phones and their podcast app is set to autoplay!

[0:17] Lesli Margherita: When we last left the movers and shakers of Broadway, the talented but broke writers Kay Fields and Bobby Kearns realized a little too late that no one wants an original musical unless it's an original musical adaptation of a movie.

[0:32] Lesli Margherita: I could've told them that. Like, literally. Last two shows I did were those.

[0:36] Lesli Margherita: Anyway, mega-producers Steve Jones and Cheryl Phillips realized that they'd just signed a contract for a chamber musical that is NOT based on Avatar.

[0:45] Lesli Margherita: I'm surprised those commercial theater producers didn't immediately burst into flames!

[0:52] Lesli Margherita: And junior agent Maxwell Fernsby realized that Sardi's doesn't have Pigs in a Blanket on the menu, which is absurd because they have them at Sardi's events.

[1:01] Lesli Margherita: What is that all about? Shall we see how they're all coping with their respective disappointments?

[1:07] Lesli Margherita: Bobby and Kay have just arrived back at their apartment from that sad, Pigs in a Blanket-less Sardi's lunch.

[1:15] Bobby Kearns: Oh my god, that was the iciest lunch I've ever sat through. I mean, it's going to take years to defrost from that. Even Maxwell was quiet.

[1:24] Kay Fields: Kay, Kay, I don't even want to talk about it yet.

[1:27] Bobby Kearns: But Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, we live in a world where people think Avatar should be a Broadway musical.

[1:33] Kay Fields: No, we live in a world where people want to throw money at us to make Avatar into a musical.

[1:39] Bobby Kearns: Ugh, why would they ever think we're the perfect team to musicalize Avatar?

[1:44] Kay Fields: Oh, what were we thinking going into that meeting? What, we're trying to play Steve and Cheryl against each other?

[1:50] Bobby Kearns: I mean, we actually thought two of the most powerful producers in the American theater wanted us.

[1:57] Kay Fields: They never wanted us. They wanted Avatar.

[1:59] Bobby Kearns: Yup, yup. It's hubris, Kay. Hubris.

[2:02] Kay Fields: Bobby, please do not shove your Yale education in my face right now, okay? If we don't pull this off, we're done.

[2:08] Bobby Kearns: Those two will make sure no one ever gets near our work again. Ever.

[2:12] Kay Fields: What, so, Avatar?

[2:15] Bobby Kearns: I, well, I've never seen it. Should we see it?

[2:17] Kay Fields: I, I mean, what would be the point?

[2:20] Bobby Kearns: Well, I think the point would be that it is Friday, and by next Saturday, oh my god, next Saturday, we need to figure out a way to write Avatar the musical without any of the characters, plot, or setting of Avatar the film, or our careers are, um, over.

[2:36] Kay Fields: Oh my god. Why, oh, why couldn't we just call the damn thing Game Night? I mean, if we're going to use existing titles.

[2:43] Bobby Kearns: I don't understand why they can't just get the rights and go off and adapt the film with writers who actually saw the damn movie.

[2:48] Kay Fields: Oh, don't think that wasn't the first thing Steve and Cheryl thought of.

[2:53] Bobby Kearns: And?

[2:55] Kay Fields: Well, one, if and only if securing the rights was possible, it wouldn't happen until Avatar 10 is released 15 years from now.

[3:04] Bobby Kearns: And two, after the Riedel column and Broadway disher, you think they're going to come out of this looking bad?

[3:10] Kay Fields: No, they're untouchable, and we're under the bus.

[3:13] Bobby Kearns: We have accidentally created monster producers.

[3:16] Kay Fields: We've created predonsters.

[3:18] Bobby Kearns: Predonsters. Bobby, sit down. Jesus Christ, breathe.

[3:22] Kay Fields: Okay, for the stage, I really do think our avatar makes much more sense, right?

[3:34] Bobby Kearns: Yeah.

[3:35] Kay Fields: I mean, the point was that we all hide behind our online avatars.

[3:40] Bobby Kearns: You know, those profile pictures and the personas we present to cyber strangers become much more synonymous with our names than our actual faces.

[3:48] Kay Fields: Could there be a more relevant story to tell in a posterior Evan Hansen world?

[3:52] Bobby Kearns: Babe, you don't have to pitch me. Unlike everyone else in town, I've read our script.

[3:58] Kay Fields: I know what it's about.

[3:59] Bobby Kearns: All I'm saying is, of all the titles in all the world, the Avatar movie is probably the worst case scenario.

[4:07] Kay Fields: Yes, well, what are we going to do? Are we actually going to create an almost-Avatar musical?

[4:15] Bobby Kearns: I mean...

[4:16] Kay Fields: Aren't they just aliens in 3D with blue skin?

[4:18] Bobby Kearns: I don't know. I don't know.

[4:20] Kay Fields: Alicia, tell me about Avatar.

[4:23] Alicia: Avatar is an upcoming Broadway musical written by husband-and-wife team Bobby Kern and Kay Fields.

[4:30] Bobby Kearns: Oh, my God.

[4:31] Kay Fields: Go to hell, Alicia.

[4:35] Alicia: Good afternoon. Welcome to CAAA and Associates.

[4:39] Alicia: The extra A is because we can.

[4:41] Bobby Kearns: Oh, shut up. What Associates?

[4:43] Kay Fields: Fernsby, Fernsby, get out here.

[4:46] Maxwell Fernsby: Oh, hi, Steve. Did you leave something at Sardi's?

[4:51] Steve Jones: Yeah, I can send a messenger over real quick.

[4:53] Steve Jones: After Bobby and Kay and you, Maxwell, royally fucked us, Steve and I had a war room meeting on the fourth floor of Sardi's.

[5:02] Steve Jones: Because you're all dead if this doesn't work out.

[5:04] Steve Jones: Your non-existent career will be DOA. That's dead on arrival for you, young'un, because you probably don't even know what DOA means.

[5:12] Steve Jones: And we will come out unscathed. For once, Steve and I agree on something.

[5:17] Steve Jones: Say this scheme doesn't work, Maxwell. Say Bobby and Kay can't pull off some version of this show that approaches Avatar.

[5:24] Steve Jones: What do you think will happen?

[5:26] Maxwell Fernsby: We'll all have a good laugh.

[5:28] Steve Jones: Wrong, Maxwell. You get sued. Bobby and Kay get sued. Everyone gets sued.

[5:35] Steve Jones: Not to mention the press coverage. This is going to make the whole Rebecca debacle look like a David Merrick stunt.

[5:42] Maxwell Fernsby: What am I supposed to do, hold a gun to their heads?

[5:44] Steve Jones: Yes, here, borrow mine.

[5:48] Steve Jones: Steve, David Korins. Hope you're doing great. Hoping and praying we're bringing that big blue world together on Avatar.

[5:54] David Korins: Come on, buddy. Had a major epiphany banging something together. I know you're gonna freak about it. I'm loving it. Super pumped. Couldn't love it more. Let's discuss ASAP.

[6:03] David Korins: Gotta get plans in tomorrow. Bids, etc., etc. Call me.

[6:06] David Korins: It's Korins. Call me.

[6:11] Matt: It's Matt from Broadway Briefing. Just wanted to call and check in, see how you're doing. See if you're getting along with Steve.

[6:17] Matt: It's incredible. You guys are working together on this. If you want to do something in the briefing, let me know. We'd love to do it. Give me a call back. Bye.

[6:28] Alex Lacamoire: Hi, Steve, Cheryl. It's Alex Lacamoire. So I hear you have an exciting new project down the line. And if you happen to be looking for a music director, let me know.

[6:34] Alex Lacamoire: I'm available. If you need an arranger, let me know. I'm around for that, too. If you need a vocal arranger, I can also do that.

[6:45] Alex Lacamoire: I also do orchestrations, by the way. And if you need a cast album, I'm really good at producing as well. If you need a conductor, do let me know. But, like, whatever it is, like, keep me in mind. And if you need some references, I can put together a list of people.

[6:58] Alex Lacamoire: I'm on Miranda of other people that you can maybe talk to.

[7:02] Lesli Margherita: Guess what I heard at Glass House last night. Zoe Taylor is handling direction and choreo for Hashtag Avatar. This will be the next Phantom. Except I'll hit all those notes live. Hashtag vision board it.

[7:16] Lesli Margherita: Hey, sorry, guys. Just wanted to chime in here to say, man, I love Zoe Taylor. She did this show at HERE where you thought the actors were watching you.

[7:22] Lesli Margherita: Turns out that it was just a mirror and we'd been watching ourselves for the last 30 minutes. I bet Kay and Bobby are psyched.

[7:34] Bobby Kearns: Zoe Taylor? She's great. The nicest person in the world.

[7:39] Kay Fields: But?

[7:40] Bobby Kearns: But she's all about flash and spectacle.

[7:44] Kay Fields: We don't do that on our best day.

[7:47] Bobby Kearns: We, we, we're intimate, cerebral.

[7:51] Kay Fields: I don't want to write a theme park musical.

[7:53] Bobby Kearns: Does it even matter what we want anymore? Didn't any free will go out the window at Sardi's?

[8:00] Kay Fields: I think we should discuss Zoe doing this a little bit more.

[8:03] Bobby Kearns: Why?

[8:04] Kay Fields: Because she's here.

[8:05] Bobby Kearns: What?

[8:06] Zoe Taylor: Guys, this show is mine. I saw Avatar 20 times.

[8:13] Zoe Taylor: In theaters.

[8:15] Kay Fields: Hi, Zoe. Okay, we appreciate you stopping by.

[8:18] Bobby Kearns: Unannounced. But this script is currently in flux.

[8:22] Kay Fields: We're doing some serious work on it this week.

[8:24] Bobby Kearns: Back to drawing board stuff, you know.

[8:26] Kay Fields: Like rethinking the emphasis?

[8:28] Bobby Kearns: Yeah.

[8:29] Kay Fields: Rewriting lyrics?

[8:32] Zoe Taylor: Oh my god, you guys are geniuses. You're creating a prequel, aren't you?

[8:36] Bobby Kearns: A prequel?

[8:39] Zoe Taylor: You and Bobby, man. I don't care what people are saying about Angels in the Outfield.

[8:45] Kay Fields: Yeah, you know, people, baseball musicals will never get a fair shot on Broadway.

[8:50] Bobby Kearns: Now's not the time, Bobby.

[8:51] Zoe Taylor: You're right, Zoe. And we're wondering, since you're such a fan, what have you always been curious about? You know, in terms of the characters.

[8:59] Bobby Kearns: You know like...what happened to um, uh...

[9:01] Kay Fields: Oh like Jake!

[9:04] Bobby Kearns: Yes Jake, love him. Did you ever wonder...uh...how...

[9:06] Kay Fields: How he lost his legs?

[9:10] Bobby Kearns: Yes!

[9:11] Kay Fields: Yes! He lost his legs?! I mean, yes, that's it exactly. We're going to dive deep into what happened before things got so so blue.

[9:20] Bobby Kearns: Okay, it's coming to me. There, I have it. Here's what I'm thinking. The overture ends. Lights up on an empty blue stage.

[9:33] Kay Fields: The orchestra starts to swell. Do you have a lighting designer yet? I mean, I have an amazing one from when I did the circus ballet at BAM.

[9:42] Bobby Kearns: The lighting extends past the proscenium, over the audience, washing everyone and everything in avatar blue.

[9:48] Kay Fields: You know, we make the entire theater part of the show, you know, to create an immersive, great, comet-like feel. And the audience becomes both spectator and na'vi citizens.

[9:58] Bobby Kearns: This is basic Brechtian stuff, but you know, on steroids. Creatures fly overhead, we can't tell what they are yet. The floor rumbles beneath all the seats.

[10:07] Kay Fields: Don't worry, I know a guy. This is totally doable. And of course, this is just the pre-show.

[10:15] Bobby Kearns: Oh, but I would never presume to tell you geniuses how to tell a story. Let me grab a pen.

[10:20] Kay Fields: Tell us more, Zoey.

[10:23] Steve Jones: Do you just not check your DMs?

[10:27] Bobby Kearns: My what?

[10:28] Steve Jones: Never mind. Look, I'm calling you. Aren't you impressed?

[10:31] Bobby Kearns: Not really. I find that actors can do remarkable things in the name of their own careers.

[10:35] Steve Jones: So why are you calling me?

[10:36] Bobby Kearns: Avatar, hello!

[10:38] Steve Jones: Where are we?

[10:39] Bobby Kearns: Believe me, you don't want to get involved. Don't screw me on this, Steve.

[10:44] Steve Jones: I am warning you, one trip to watch what happens live and I could smash you to smithereens.

[10:49] Bobby Kearns: You know Andy loves to get me tipsy on skinny girl mugs and ask me questions. The answers I could give him this time around.

[10:55] Steve Jones: You got me, Emo, okay? I cave. Look, we're in the midst of planning a reading for next Saturday. A top secret reading, got it?

[11:03] Bobby Kearns: So secret even the Broadway district doesn't know about it. This is a sign-your-life-away NDA situation.

[11:07] Steve Jones: Did you hear me? N-D-A. Just get me in the room, Steve. I can do the rest.

[11:17] Bobby Kearns: You usually do.

[11:20] Steve Jones: Kate, it's Steve. Tell your husband that we have Emma Olivia for the presentation next Saturday.

[11:25] Kay Fields: Steve, I thought we agreed.

[11:27] Steve Jones: As a change of pace.

[11:28] Kay Fields: I know what we agreed to do this time around. I'm making an exception. Just wanted to give you a heads up.

[11:33] Kay Fields: Of course you are. How kind. And you better have something incredible ready for Saturday.

[11:38] Steve Jones: Thanks for calling, as always. Goodbye!

[11:41] Kay Fields: Drive-by, Steve.

[11:42] Steve Jones: Yep.

[11:43] Kay Fields: Drink.

[11:44] Steve Jones: Yep. But what would Pandora have even been called when it was still inhabitable by humans?

[11:49] Kay Fields: Or was it ever?

[11:50] Bobby Kearns: No, it definitely was. Maybe Sirius? Get it? Pandora? Sirius?

[11:56] Kay Fields: No?

[11:57] Bobby Kearns: Bobby, make it a big one.

[12:04] Maxwell Fernsby: Burnsby here. Listen, Junior. James Cameron kept a nail gun on the Avatar set.

[12:10] Maxwell Fernsby: James Cameron would use that nail gun to nail cell phones to the wall that made the mistake of ringing.

[12:15] Steve Jones: Is this Steve? I just bought that same nail gun off of Amazon, kid, and I can think of many ways to use it.

[12:21] Maxwell Fernsby: That sounds ominous.

[12:23] Steve Jones: Was it supposed to sound ominous? I want the world to know that this is the authentic Avatar adaptation.

[12:30] Maxwell Fernsby: Well, okay. But I mean, but it's not. We don't have the rights.

[12:34] Steve Jones: Rights? Rights? I didn't have the rights to Top Gun, so?

[12:38] Maxwell Fernsby: I didn't know you did that. I saw Gun Top on a school trip. That badminton scene? Wow, I still think about it.

[12:45] Steve Jones: Exactly. Okay. I'll go check with Bobby and Kay. Just don't bring a nail gun, please.

[12:51] Bobby Kearns: Steve? Steve?

[12:58] Maxwell Fernsby: Okay. I think he hung up.

[13:05] Bobby Kearns: Oh, good God, Bobby. We never should have watched it. How the hell are we supposed to recreate those flying scenes?

[13:12] Kay Fields: It was so much better when I didn't know. I think there's a good chance Pot will be legalized in New York by the time we open.

[13:19] Bobby Kearns: Oh, thank God. Yeah. So, the Avatars have eyebrows and five digits per hand or foot, while the Na'vi only have four and no eyebrows.

[13:30] Kay Fields: The who?

[13:32] Bobby Kearns: Kay, Cheryl, we need to leak a hit song. Maintain this momentum.

[13:36] Kay Fields: Steve and I actually agree. This may be moot, but we don't have a song to leak.

[13:44] Bobby Kearns: That's why I'm calling. Write one. We can record it on Saturday.

[13:48] Kay Fields: Okay, Cheryl. My expectations be a tad too high. I mean, act one and now a song by Saturday? It's Monday. And we just watched the movie for the first time.

[14:00] Bobby Kearns: The Hellenger is ours. We have six months before opening night, seven and a half before the Tonys cut off. Tickets go on sale this week.

[14:09] Kay Fields: No, expectations aren't a tad too high. They're appropriately off the charts, monster nightmare, explosively astronomically high. And you and Bobby better come through.

[14:22] Bobby Kearns: Of course. Great chat, Cheryl. I feel great. You and Steve are truly the dream team.

[14:27] Kay Fields: Goodbye.

[14:28] Bobby Kearns: Goodbye. Bobby!

[14:31] Kay Fields: Personally, I thought Angels in the Outfield was vastly underrated. I cried twice. Seriously. But what will Kay and Bobby come up with for Avatar?

[14:41] Bobby Kearns: Well, not Avatar. Will Zoe be able to turn the Mark Hellinger into a magical, immersive, intergalactic experience, or is this musical doom to feel like a bad prom theme?

[14:53] Kay Fields: Do Cheryl and Steve think that screaming at people gets them to do better work? And does Emma Olivia really think she's no longer banned from watch what happens live after the incident?

[15:06] Bobby Kearns: Tune in next week for some or none of these answers on the third episode of As the Curtain Rises.

[15:14] Alex Brightman: Thank you from the bottom of our cold hearts for listening to As the Curtain Rises. A gargantuan thanks to our brilliant cast.

[15:24] Alex Brightman: James Monroe Iglehart as producer Steve Jones. Lillias White as producer Cheryl Phillips. Ashley Park as book writer-lyricist Kay Fields. Michael Urie as composer Bobby Kearns. Sarah Stiles as diva Emma Olivia. George Salazar as agent Maxwell Fernsby in the bathroom. Ariana DeBose as director-choreographer Zoe Taylor. Lesli Margherita as the Broadway disher. Ilana Levine as the CAAA receptionist. Alan Seales as Alexis. And me, the incredible two-time Tony Award loser, Alex Brightman as the narrator!

[16:14] Alex Brightman: Ah! Ah! Also, huge, gigantic, stupendous thanks to our phone message leavers, Matt Britton, Alex Lackamore, and David Korins, written by Dory Berenstain and Mark Pikert. Directed by Dory Berenstain. Music, sound editing, and design by Bart Fassbender. Avatar music by Matthew Sklar. Sound engineering by Alan Seales. Banshee wrangling by the wonderful Bill Berloni!

[16:48] Alex Brightman: Produced by Dory Berenstain, Alan Seales, and the Broadway Podcast Network. Executive produced by Liz Armstrong. And absolutely everything else by our extraordinary BPN team. Brittany Bigelow, Joanna Nikolova, Katie Rosen, Cindy Schatz, and Beatriz Westby.

[17:09] Alex Brightman: As the Curtain Rises was created and recorded entirely in quarantine. This Broadway soap opera celebrates and supports the Actors Fund and the BPN Frontline Worker Initiative, which you can find at bpn.fm slash frontlineworkers. That's bpn.fm slash frontlineworkers.

[17:29] Alex Brightman: And finally, a very special thanks to our producing partner, Liz Armstrong, for your extraordinary support and inspiration. Buh-bye!

[17:40] Alex Brightman: Buh-bye!