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[0:00] Unknown speaker: 6038! 6030! Oh, sorry, I was pumping some serious weights. I'm thinking of throwing my name in the hat for Jake. So obvious, right? I mean, why even bother holding auditions? Okay, so, where are we? Oh, right. The writers of the Not Avatar Avatar Musical, happily married couple Kay and Bobby, are no longer the sole writers of the Not Avatar Musical. And maybe no longer happily married now that Bobby's ex-babe Thomas is the book writer. Producers Steve and Cheryl are at each other's throats again. No surprise there. Director slash choreographer Zoe Taylor and science consultant the wonderful and cute as a button Andrew Barth Feldman are going to make us care about the Hallelujah Mountains whether we want to or not.

And Emma Olivia will not rest until that blue cookie with sparkles is considered a schmackery's everyday classic. Let's check in on how everyone is faring. I'm sure Kay and Bobby both have something interesting to say. Ouch, just heard that the whole Avatar team wrapped up a top secret reading that did not go quite as well as expected. Is it hashtag drive of shame time for these guys? Maybe if anyone had invited me? Hashtag missed opportunity.

[1:32] Kay: Babe, babe, babe, you have to talk to me at some point. I had no idea they were bringing Thomas in. I haven't seen him in years. Kay, come on. We are in a Lyft together in Staten Island traveling back to Manhattan. We will be side by side for the next 45 minutes. Well, actually in this traffic it's probably going to take more than an hour. Thank you, Carol. Thank you. Can you please say something?

[2:10] Unknown speaker: Okay, Kay is obviously not in a talkative mood. Yeah, geez. But junior agent Maxwell Fernsby has some interesting news for director choreographer Zoe Taylor as they travel back to Manhattan.

[2:24] Maxwell Fernsby: Wait, what? Are you messing with me, Furnsby? Zoe, I would never. I couldn't be more serious. Look, you know that's my dream. I figured. I mean, you're such a visionary, Zoe. The Olympics will be lucky to have you. Do you think they'd really consider me? I mean, directing and choreographing? Once I enlighten them? Absolutely. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You? Oh, I thought. I mean, well, isn't Charles? He's not back for quite a while, given the complications and all. And in the meantime, I'm stepping into his shoes. In fact, she's got a new pair. Uh-huh. But I have an agent. Is she offering you the Olympics? Well, no. Exactly. Are you even an agent, Furnsby? I mean, I thought you were basically Charles's assistant.

I mean, you get coffee. Oh, that's just optics. I'm his secret weapon. Think of me as the Robin to his Batman. The Dr. Watson to a Sherlock Holmes. Beaker to his Dr. Bunsen honeydew. Yes, actually. And Avatar won't interfere. Are you kidding? I'm going to leverage the hell out of the fact that you're directing Avatar. It doesn't get bigger than that. If you can hit Avatar out of the park, you'll be able to direct the Olympics with your eyes closed. Avatar opens on Broadway in six months. The Olympics years away. Yeah, plenty of prep time. I have to say I am very tempted. Would you look at this? I have a contract right here. You want to give your agent a quick call?

[4:14] Unknown speaker: I think the reading went decently well, all things considered. Do you or don't you? Okay.

[4:27] Steve: Hey, Steve, Matt from the briefing. We were just wondering, I was talking with my team and we wanted to know if Emma might be interested in doing a morning message in tomorrow's briefing. We think that the community would really love it and to hear more about the project. So give me a call back. Bye. I swear, if that Britain guy from Broadway briefing calls me one more time.

[4:54] Steve: Thanks for the ride. You wanted to speak with me about something, Mr. Jones?

[4:56] Unknown speaker: Steve, kid. Steve.

[4:58] Steve: Oh, sorry. Yes, Steve, sir. Look, Drew, you've got something special and I want to change your life.

[5:06] Drew: I like my life, sir.

[5:07] Steve: No, you don't, Drew. Your life sucks. Look, you don't have a clue just how incredible it can be.

[5:12] Drew: I don't?

[5:13] Steve: Not one bit. You're clueless, but I can turn it around in a flash.

[5:19] Drew: I've actually had a pretty terrific few years.

[5:22] Steve: I love your optimism, Drew. It's cute. But there's no room for cute in our world if you want to be a star.

[5:27] Drew: I wasn't going for cute, sir.

[5:30] Steve: Good. Now you're talking. We have some serious work to do.

[5:34] Drew: I'm not sure where you're going with this.

[5:36] Steve: Look, Drew, you're a damn science consultant. Don't you want more out of life other than that?

[5:42] Drew: Well, I did star in a Broadway show recently.

[5:45] Steve: But now look at you.

[5:47] Drew: I'm really enjoying the experience working with Zoe and Bobby and Kay on Avatar. It's like a dream come true. It's my favorite film of all time.

[5:53] Steve: Yeah, Kay, this is going to be harder than I thought.

[5:55] Drew: Sir?

[5:56] Steve: Look, Drew, ever heard of Fantasy Island?

[5:58] Drew: Oh, of course. You mean the horror movie starring Michael Peña that got 8% on the Rotten Tomatoes tomato meter?

[6:04] Steve: What? Oh, there's something seriously wrong with you.

[6:07] Drew: Oh, you mean the really awesome book Fantasy Island by Ed Morales on colonialism, exploitation, and the betrayal of Puerto Rico that I read last year in high school?

[6:15] Steve: Driver, pull over. Now.

[6:21] Drew: What?

[6:22] Steve: I said get out.

[6:23] Drew: We're on the I-278. I'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you're talking to me about your social studies class.

[6:30] Drew: Well, actually, I read it on my own time. I don't even know why I'm trying here.

[6:40] Steve: That's what I get for giving a 12-year-old the opportunity of a lifetime.

[6:44] Drew: I'm 18.

[6:48] Steve: Fine, fine. One last chance. Driver, let's go.

[6:52] Steve: Okay, Drew. In 1977, back when TV was real, ABC premiered a new series called Fantasy Island.

[7:08] Unknown speaker: Yeah, I can do the silent treatment, too, you know.

[7:13] Drew: I absolutely cannot speak.

[7:18] Unknown speaker: Starting right now, okay? See how it feels, okay? Here we go.

[7:29] Drew: Oh, come on. Can you please say something, Kay? Please?

[7:40] Cheryl: Cheryl, it's Paul Wontorek from Broadway.com. I'm so excited about Avatar. Everyone's talking about it. What an ambitious, crazy idea. I have to interview you. I need to find out everything. And you're opening so soon.

[7:52] Cheryl: Thank you, dear. Excited to chat further with you and share all the exciting Avatar news with you. How about next Tuesday?

[8:00] Paul Wontorek: Perfect. Excellent. I'll call you then. Until then, Cheryl.

[8:04] Cheryl: Bye-bye.

[8:06] Unknown speaker: Shit.

[8:08] Cheryl: Yes. Nice to meet you, uh, Ralph.

[8:13] Unknown speaker: Same to you. Looks like we're waiting on one other passenger and then we can get on our way.

[8:18] Cheryl: No, it's just me.

[8:19] Unknown speaker: No, it says you selected the share a ride option.

[8:23] Cheryl: Shoot. Again? Why do I always do that? Looks like we're waiting on Emma Olivia.

[8:31] Unknown speaker: Yes, Emma Olivia.

[8:33] Emma Olivia: Hello again.

[8:37] Unknown speaker: You have got to be kidding me. I ended up going off the clock to stop by my parents after I dropped you off. What are the odds you'd be my first passenger after I left? Man, I couldn't get out of there fast enough today, I tell ya.

[8:51] Unknown speaker: I know the feeling. If I had to listen to-

[8:55] Emma Olivia: I'm not talking about her eczema one more time.

[8:57] Cheryl Phillips: Emma, Olivia, I had no idea you'd take a chance on riding with a civilian.

[9:02] Emma Olivia: For once, your instincts are correct.

[9:05] Cheryl Phillips: I wouldn't, but I was in the middle of a conversation with Zoe about some staging issues and Fernsby ordered the car for me.

[9:12] Emma Olivia: This is what happens when you don't take care of everything yourself.

[9:15] Cheryl Phillips: And my brother was sitting there asking when I'm gonna get a real job.

[9:19] Emma Olivia: I swear, I am surrounded by idiots.

[9:22] Cheryl Phillips: But I refuse to stay in Staten Island for one more minute.

[9:31] Emma Olivia: So Thomas, huh? Cheryl, I'm surprised.

[9:35] Cheryl Phillips: And people think I'm manipulative.

[9:37] Emma Olivia: Today is not my proudest moment, Emma, Olivia.

[9:40] Cheryl Phillips: But the work is clearly lacking and someone has to come in.

[9:43] Emma Olivia: I didn't want to say anything after the reading. You know how sensitive I am as an empath.

[9:47] Cheryl Phillips: But the book was pretty disappointing.

[9:49] Emma Olivia: My wife likes that I have this job, too. Gives her plenty of time to run her Etsy store.

[9:54] Cheryl Phillips: She says I just get in the way.

[9:56] Emma Olivia: Oh, poor Kay. Do you think Bobby has carried her this whole time?

[10:00] Cheryl Phillips: Kay is a talented, whip-smart writer.

[10:03] Emma Olivia: But she and Bobby are in way over their heads.

[10:06] Cheryl Phillips: And Steve and I agreed that a fresh eye read it.

[10:10] Emma Olivia: Oh, sure. And those eyes just happen to be in the perfectly chiseled face of Bobby's ex.

[10:16] Cheryl Phillips: Come on, Cheryl. Drop the act.

[10:18] Emma Olivia: Steve wanted to up the drama for some free press.

[10:22] Cheryl Phillips: If anyone would see an opportunity for free press, it would be you.

[10:26] Emma Olivia: Yeah. And I'm famous.

[10:29] Cheryl Phillips: I do think Thomas will be a major asset.

[10:32] Emma Olivia: I just wish we'd handled it a little bit better.

[10:35] Cheryl Phillips: Yeah, that doesn't happen often with Steve.

[10:37] Emma Olivia: I should know. Did you hear about how I joined the cast of Angel Voice?

[10:40] Cheryl Phillips: Yeah, yeah. Steve invited me to a rehearsal and Jane Falls was starring.

[10:45] Emma Olivia: She freaked out seeing me so much that she blew every line and note.

[10:50] Cheryl Phillips: So they fired her with cause.

[10:52] Emma Olivia: You know, and I finished rehearsal.

[10:53] Cheryl Phillips: Classic Steve.

[10:55] Emma Olivia: Yeah, but honestly, I was better.

[10:57] Cheryl Phillips: So everything worked out.

[10:58] Emma Olivia: What is Jane doing these days, anyway?

[11:01] Cheryl Phillips: Oh my God, she has the saddest cameo.

[11:03] Emma Olivia: She charges like $25 a video.

[11:06] Cheryl Phillips: But listen, Cheryl, I did want to talk to you about something.

[11:08] Emma Olivia: You remember that story? You know, about me and my trainer.

[11:11] Cheryl Phillips: You mean the guy your boyfriend caught you with when you were supposed to be doing yoga?

[11:16] Emma Olivia: Believe me, I gotta work out in.

[11:19] Cheryl Phillips: But yes, Stavros.

[11:21] Emma Olivia: Anyway, he's a trainer just to pay the bills.

[11:24] Cheryl Phillips: He's actually...

[11:25] Emma Olivia: Yeah, let me guess.

[11:26] Cheryl Phillips: A wildly talented triple threat.

[11:29] Emma Olivia: God no, he's just an actor.

[11:31] Cheryl Phillips: But I thought since we're going to be so immersed in this, it would be great for us if you could find him a role.

[11:37] Emma Olivia: You know, maybe Jake.

[11:39] Cheryl Phillips: You want to cast your boyfriend as the lead?

[11:41] Emma Olivia: Well, someone has to play the role, right?

[11:44] Cheryl Phillips: So why not someone we can vouch for?

[11:46] Emma Olivia: Face it, Cheryl, your shows aren't known for their deep bench of talent.

[11:50] Cheryl Phillips: You're great at the, you know, other producers' stuff.

[11:55] Emma Olivia: There is no way I'm talking to you about casting right now.

[12:00] Cheryl Phillips: We don't even have a book.

[12:02] Emma Olivia: We're at square one with this beast, and I don't know if we're even capable of getting the show on its feet.

[12:08] Cheryl Phillips: Nuh-uh, this is going to happen.

[12:10] Emma Olivia: I'm attached, right?

[12:11] Cheryl Phillips: And I will not have a failure on my resume.

[12:14] Emma Olivia: Are you going to write the book yourself?

[12:16] Cheryl Phillips: Um...

[12:18] Emma Olivia: You're so funny.

[12:21] Cheryl Phillips: I would never.

[12:22] Emma Olivia: That's too hard.

[12:23] Cheryl Phillips: But I am a...

[12:24] Emma Olivia: I'm a...

[12:25] Cheryl Phillips: A...

[12:26] Emma Olivia: What is a word?

[12:28] Cheryl Phillips: A handful.

[12:29] Emma Olivia: More trouble than you're worth.

[12:31] Cheryl Phillips: Overrated?

[12:32] Emma Olivia: No, a muse.

[12:34] Cheryl Phillips: Right.

[12:35] Emma Olivia: So I'm pretty sure that once Thomas gets to know me, things are going to work out.

[12:39] Cheryl Phillips: This is not a big deal, Cheryl.

[12:41] Emma Olivia: We just need to make sure that Stavros has something to do.

[12:44] Cheryl Phillips: Driver, how much longer?

[12:46] Lyft Driver: About another half an hour, ma'am.

[12:48] Cheryl Phillips: Just sit back and enjoy.

[12:50] Lyft Driver: Should I put on some relaxing driving music?

[12:52] Cheryl Phillips: Do that, and I report you.

[12:55] Emma Olivia: Look, here's his TikTok.

[12:56] Cheryl Phillips: Oh, I love this one.

[12:57] Emma Olivia: He does the WAP dance.

[12:59] Cheryl Phillips: He's so sexy.

[13:01] Emma Olivia: Ooh, he's very, uh...

[13:04] Cheryl Phillips: Right?

[13:05] Emma Olivia: Do you mind playing that again so I can evaluate a little more carefully?

[13:14] Cheryl Phillips: I have something I'd like to say.

[13:16] Emma Olivia: What? Yeah, yeah, what?

[13:17] Cheryl Phillips: Anything, babe.

[13:18] Emma Olivia: Uh, sweetheart.

[13:20] Cheryl Phillips: I think it's great that Thomas is joining the team.

[13:24] Emma Olivia: It's so...

[13:26] Cheryl Phillips: Wait.

[13:27] Emma Olivia: What?

[13:28] Cheryl Phillips: I do.

[13:29] Emma Olivia: We have fought Steve and Cheryl every step of the way, and why?

[13:33] Cheryl Phillips: What has that gotten us?

[13:34] Emma Olivia: So from now on, I'm a team player.

[13:37] Cheryl Phillips: Kay, you're scaring me.

[13:39] Emma Olivia: Oh, you should be scared, Bobby.

[13:41] Cheryl Phillips: You should be very scared of how crazy great this whole thing is going to be.

[13:47] Emma Olivia: I miss the silent treatment.

[13:49] Cheryl Phillips: I can't wait to get started.

[13:51] Emma Olivia: Ooh, how fragile the creative dynamic.

[13:54] Cheryl Phillips: But out of artistic tension comes breakthrough genius.

[13:58] Emma Olivia: Although, now that I think about it, there are a slew of flops that had wild backstage drama.

[14:03] Cheryl Phillips: Do you remember that New York Times story about the spontaneous human combustion that occurred during the out-of-town of Smart Girls Wear Black?

[14:09] Emma Olivia: The lyricist and two actors are still missing.

[14:15] Cheryl Phillips: Rest in power.

[14:16] Emma Olivia: Bobby, Kay, and Thomas better be careful.

[14:19] Cheryl Phillips: Back to the land of floating mountains, will Thurnsby wrangle yet another star away from Charles' client portfolio?

[14:27] Emma Olivia: Does Zoe actually have a shot at directing and choreographing the next Olympics?

[14:32] Cheryl Phillips: Will Cheryl and Emma Olivia find common ground and chill their epic put-down grudge match?

[14:35] Emma Olivia: Is Fantasy Island Steve's next mega-musical?

[14:40] Cheryl Phillips: If so, will Andrew Barth Feldman successfully juggle a new starring role on Broadway while handling science consulting duties on Avatar?

[14:45] Emma Olivia: Will the Lyft driver convince his mother to buy the more expensive, but effective, eczema cream?

[14:53] Cheryl Phillips: Will the Broadway briefing get all the Avatar stories they're pursuing?

[15:00] Emma Olivia: Tune in next week to untangle these many unruly knots.

[15:04] Cheryl Phillips: But let's be honest, there will still be knots.

[15:07] Emma Olivia: Thank you from the bottom of our cold hearts for listening to As the Curtain Rises.

[15:10] Cheryl Phillips: A gargantuan thanks to our brilliant cast.

[15:13] Emma Olivia: James Monroe Iglehart as producer Steve Jones.

[15:21] Cheryl Phillips: Lillias White as producer Cheryl Phillips.

[15:25] Emma Olivia: Ashley Park as book writer-lyricist Kay Fields.

[15:29] Cheryl Phillips: Michael Urie as composer Bobby Kearns.

[15:33] Emma Olivia: Sarah Stiles as diva Emma Olivia.

[15:36] Cheryl Phillips: George Salazar as agent Maxwell Thurnsby in the bathroom.

[15:41] Emma Olivia: Ariana DeBose as director-choreographer Zoe Taylor.

[15:46] Cheryl Phillips: Andrew Barth Feldman as science consultant Andrew Barth Feldman.

[15:52] Emma Olivia: Lesli Margherita as the Broadway disher.

[15:56] Cheryl Phillips: Jacob Smith as the Lyft driver.

[15:59] Emma Olivia: And me, the incredible two-time Tony Award loser Alex Brightman as the narrator!

[16:09] Cheryl Phillips: Ah! Ah!

[16:13] Emma Olivia: Written by Dory Berenstain and Mark Peikert.

[16:17] Cheryl Phillips: Directed by Dory Berenstain.

[16:20] Emma Olivia: Music, sound editing, and design by Bart Fassbender.

[16:24] Cheryl Phillips: Avatar music by Matthew Sklar.

[16:27] Emma Olivia: Sound engineering by Alan Seales.

[16:30] Cheryl Phillips: Banshee wrangling by the wonderful Bill Perloni!

[16:34] Emma Olivia: Produced by Dory Berenstain, Alan Seales, and the Broadway Podcast Network.

[16:41] Cheryl Phillips: Associate directed and sound edited by Marty McGuire.

[16:45] Emma Olivia: Executive produced by Liz Armstrong.

[16:48] Cheryl Phillips: And absolutely everything else by our extraordinary BPN team.

[16:53] Emma Olivia: Brittany Bigelow, Joanna Nikolova, Katie Rosen, Cindy Schatz, and Beatriz Westby.

[17:00] Cheryl Phillips: As the Curtain Rises was created and recorded entirely in quarantine.

[17:04] Emma Olivia: This Broadway soap opera celebrates and supports the Actors Fund and the BPN Frontline Worker Initiative, which you can find at bpn.fm/slashfrontlineworkers.

[17:15] Cheryl Phillips: That's bpn.fm/slashfrontlineworkers.

[17:20] Emma Olivia: And finally, a very special thanks to our producing partner, Liz Armstrong, for your extraordinary support and inspiration.

[17:28] Cheryl Phillips: Buh-bye!